Your All-Devonta Thursday Night Football Game Open Thread

The Hipp was kind enough to post a JV thread which alludes to the fact that, though we love/hate the NFL ball, we don’t wear sports blinders. On the ice the Sens are playing the Pens and of course the Dodgers are hosting the Mets (deciding amongst themselves who will eventually be decimated by those goddamn PED-using, bat-flipping bastards up in the Toronto). So sit back and relax and I’ll set up the Falcons/Saints for you.

Atl @ NO: Why is the spread only 3, 3.5? Them Vegas-ians know something, don’t they? Julio has hamstring and toe issues-receivers and hamstrings in the same sentence is never a good thing. Devonta is on an epic run [snorts] these last few weeks, piling up yards and TD’s as though they were canned goods in anticipation of a supposed Cubs WS win which would surely signal the end of life as we know it. At this point the Saints look like the teamification of Sunday morning on Bourbon Street. The D can’t do anything  (blitz and hope for the best tonight?) and Drew can’t put up the points like he has in years past. I like Breezy-he got the short straw in San Diego and turned it into a fantastic career. Now however he’s stuck on the down-side with a team that doesn’t look like it will be competitive for 2-3 years. I read somewhere that 21% of their 145 mill. is tied up in paying players no longer on the club. That’ll slow up your rebuilding process. The good news is that Breezy can bathe in his solid gold bathtub, covered in $100 bills-that’ll take the edge off.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
674 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
MikeWallaceAndGromit

I’d be careful about any 1 on 1’s with High Priest Blandino.

I’m bringing back 2014, all hail smarf.
comment image

Redshirt

They ruled that complete?!

litre_cola

Throw the ball to Snead god dammit

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hi. I was led to believe there would be punch and pie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Well, you’re half right…”

– Steve Smith

jjfozz

I’m punching some hair pie tonight. . .

jjfozz

As a Ravens fan, I’m ordering a case of this
comment image

WCS

Everyone gets completely baKed on 3/20.

Big Black Richard

Hey ThursdaySkyGoddess, stop lurking and throw us a comment or two. 🙂

King Hippo

Yes, no lights hiding under bushels and shit! Nobody will bite, at least in a non-consensual manner.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Sorry, going back and forth between this game and Auburn/Kentucky and I keep getting a bit behind.

jjfozz

Future SEC student
comment image

WCS

That was taken in a Michael’s parking lot. They just like to make crafts.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Maybe this person is going on a collage bing.

Old School Zero

Oh yeah? Well I’m gonna scrapbook, motherfucker!

makeitsnowondem

Continuing my Twitter winning streak, Lacey Noonan appears to have followed me today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not as good as Lacey Underall, but still a win.

jjfozz

The hot girl from Caddyshack? Wow!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jokes aside, send her some links of your DFO stuff – she probably has a HUGE following.

JustStopDude

So the SEC…which is corrupt as shit…would not let a guy with a broken neck due to medical concerns…

But the NFL is kosker with it.

I, for one, am SHOCKED that the NFL has taken so long to acknowledge head injuries…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Which SEC are you talking about? “Corrupt as shit” does not help me distinguish between the two.

Sill Bimmons

WHITEDOWN WOO

Sharkbait

All 7 Roddy White owners just jumped for joy.

Sill Bimmons
litre_cola

I benched him an hour ago, thinking he got fat and is useless.

Sill Bimmons

Can’t bench a guy like that in the insanity league.

jjfozz

Can a mere mortal have sex with Super Girl, or would her powers turn a normal dude inside out?

Moonbatting Average

Beware Kegels of Steel

JustStopDude

I imagine she would pop your head like a zit if you went down on her and she climaxed.

Like that dude in Casino…

http://cdn.styleforum.net/1/19/19ebdf12_vice-scene.jpeg

nomonkeyfun

Onatoppn Xenia Onatopp.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Still-in-the-league-down!

Mother Puncher

What is Jerry Rice going to do that makes everybody hate him?

Gratliff

Campaign for Trump?

litre_cola

Baby sitter, hot tub.

nomonkeyfun

Tell us the Chris Berman is the kindest, most loyal, warn hearted person he ever knew.

Does that mean Berman is a Sino-Russo agent sent here to assassinate someone significant.

How do you think Robin Roberts got cancer?
She’d be dead now, but Berman sucks at everything he does.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Throw acid in a puppy’s face?

/sorry, I get mean when I don’t drink

King Hippo

Good for the inspiration bank, next time I start 0-3 in fantasy, I’m changing team name to “Puppy Faces in Acid”

Gratliff

The Rusev-Ziggler blowoff was not a good thing. Unsure if worse thing than clusterfuck of a thursday night game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Darn. I was hoping Tamme would try to hurtle somebody so we could make a Jacob’s Ladder joke.

Senor Weaselo

Thank goodness I took the Falcons LAST week and not this one in the elimination pool.

/Checks who he has… seriously, no idea

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This drive is more representative of what I was expecting to see tonight.

Big Black Richard

The hubris is strong and the schadenfreude is even stronger. It’s almost as if Donald Trump was running FanDuel and DraftKings.

jjfozz

Now that’s one strikingly beautiful pussy
comment image

nomonkeyfun

My god they have the same eyes.

Big Black Richard

I prefer black pussy. I don’t care that everyone says that it’s bad luck if one crosses your path.

Gratliff

And then Reggie Bush stood on the breaking levies and willed the wind back from whence it came with the power of his love for the city of New Orleans/Detroit/Miami/where is he now?

Sharkbait

KATRINA! DRINK!

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Funnily enough, that phrase was heard a lot in New Orleans when Sharper was still playing.

jjfozz

Goddamn it’s been awhile since I had me one of these. God bless the English
comment image

Sill Bimmons

No blood pudding = NAWT FULL ENGLISH

litre_cola

You sir, are correct. Damn I miss that stuff from when I lived over there.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Hell, I wagered big in my season long pool that Atlanta would cover. This is not promising.

jjfozz

Eat shit Atlanta. I don’t know why I hate you, but it’s as thick and creamy as homemade custard

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not down by contact?

JustStopDude

Am….am I racist…for wondering how a white guy got the last name “Mauti”?

King Hippo

No. Fuck whitey!

Big Black Richard

About as racist as I am for wondering how a Black guy playing for TCU got the name Corry O’Meally.

bourb0nblues

47 really fucked that one up.

So does that count as a return for a TD,Jeem?

packman_jon

It’s…..beautiful

Sill Bimmons

welp

Spur

I think they replaced all the Fan Duel commercials with Nissan ones.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Holy shit Falcons.

Gratliff

So I feel stupid when I turn on Smackdown and see literal demon Kane, so I switch to football and I see Master Chief and golden Darth Maul. What is life?

packman_jon

Matty Ice more like Matty holy shit remember when people thought he’d be amazing?

jjfozz

Scariest fucking Halloween thing I’ve ever seen
comment image

WCS

Matty Tepid Water

jjfozz

Oh Bulleitt Bourbon, let me fall into thy sweet embrace and let me forget the motherfucking shit that has deluged me these past many hours

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I just realized this is my last beer. I may have to swap to Knob Creek.

King Hippo

Parenting is 80% forgetting ,, ppl forget that

indieguy

That builliet is some good stuff

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Where are you more likely to hear the cry of “E-6”?

a.) A game of Battleship
b.) A Mets game

MikeWallaceAndGromit

c) Russel Wilson’s bedroom.

Oh, I thought you meant “Eek! Sex?!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

d.) In England, as an American tries to figure out where to go next.

litre_cola

Jim, seriously, Super Girl is not the super hero we were looking for. We have forsaken him this year, it was Tebow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It would be kind of cool if Tim Tebow went into acting so he could be terrible at that too.

King Hippo

He’s not terribly convincing at his portrayal of a chaste heterosexual, if that’s any indication.

King Hippo

That’s what you fuckwits get for ignoring Snead like that.

Sharkbait

I see I’m not the only one Riding the Sneed train.

King Hippo

I honestly had him on my roster from Week 1. 20-man rosters, and he was the next-to-last $1 bid.

Gratliff

How is it possible that Matt Ryan’s identical uniform looks so much worse than all the other identical uniforms?

WCS

Never trust anyone from Boston College.

WCS

Mets gon’ Met.

Senor Weaselo

My name is Senor Weaselo and I approve this message.

King Hippo

AWESOME! We get to see the 49ers again next week!!!

Drinking challenge? ACCEPTED!

Sharkbait

These primetime games are like Spartan races for our livers.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

How you doin’ boys? Ninkasi Total Domination. 65 IBU, 6.7% ABV

Old School Zero

Just finished some chili and had a fantastic belch. Gonna finish this Moose Drool and then think about what to follow it up with.

Redshirt

(while Youtubing)
“I wonder how the game is going?”

(looks up and see that last 4th down play)

“Yeah, that’s about right.”

JustStopDude

Matty Ice just got DDT’d there…

http://i.imgur.com/Jw9ohsA.gif

litre_cola

If there were ever an activity that should get sued for brain trauma its the WWF/NWO/Olympics