![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
NE @ Ind: [swallows bile and pride] I have to give the guy credit for saying what everyone knows and what never gets said in major media. There. I feel faint but I think I’m okay. What no one addressed is that Brady added, “Donuts are the Anti-Christ!” so the Pats may want to re-evaluate their concussion protocols. Look, the Pats are rested, this is a “revenge” game and Belichick has had two weeks to prepare. This will not go well for the Colts. Don’t get me wrong-I’ll be cheering for the home team but their D is porous and QB-wise this is a no-brainer. Prove me wrong, Luck.
Your “Coke Is Poison!” Sunday Night Thread
Tags: can you say blowout?
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“That girl has information on her body that needs to disappear!”
Look buddy, you don’t want your DNA on her then use a condom like every other john.
Even the motels with hourly rates have a fucking shower, ya cheap fuck….
What if you’re Marv Albert?
And a hearty welcome to you, sir!
Tips drink.
ANDREW LUCK WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO INVEST ACORNS AND BEANS
His favorite movie is “The Girl with the Wagon Tattoo “
The Colts have adopted the NFL’s upcoming “no defense allowed” policy a tad early.
TOUCHDOWWWWWWWN JEWKAHHHHHHHHH
Edelman must be stoked to score after the way GB held him up on that final drive just about an hour ago.
In other news, the Colts are still ass.
I love the Cypress Hill drum track at the end of that ad.
Fuckin A Hyundai.
Aprospos the douchebaggery of the dirt Jets.
Douchebag, White sunglasses, barbwire tattoo, more times than not white wifebeater, gold chains, straight rimmed baseball hat with stickers.
Not to mention all the orange.
Hue said it.
Well, considering like 70% of the fanbase is NJ guidos who want to imagine they’re from the city, you can’t honestly say this is surprising.
Glad I’m in the other 30%.
Nah, NJ guidos are Yankee fans in my experience.
Mets fans are mostly Long Islanders who wish they were from the city and Outer Boroughers who wish they were from Manhattan.
THIS GUY BILL BELICHEK, I CALL HIM MENOPAUSE, BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GIVE YOUR MOM A HOT FLASH
He’d like to slip your mom a Boniva
Just so much hate for both teams, can’t care
This Chandler, I call him Andy cuz thats just another white guys name in Bostron
THIS CHANDLER I CALL HIM ROSS BECAUSE EVERYONE ON FRIENDS WAS A WHINY WHITE PERSON
Doesn’t anyone do the old “School of Hard Knocks” any more?
Janay did it just the one time and then apologized for doing it and then never did it again.
Lost its accreditation with the new loan industry regulations.
Just kidding. There are no regulations on the loan industry.
I don’t think it’s said enough but someone should take a crowbar to Jewkah’s knee.
Oy vey, dat’s anti-Semitic!
Everyone on the Mets looks like a huge douchebag. There, I said it.
What hue of douchebag, though? They come in so many varieties…
Puce Douche
The orange is quite garish.
Still funny despite my edit.
boo edit
Orange dbag.
Colts need to late hit Brady every chance they get.
Then send in Hasselbeck.
Then send in Nickelback.
Wow, Brady sure knows how to pump up the crowd.
JustStopDude…University of Maryland Baltimore College.
I hope he cried last night.
I’ve been reading Wikipedia about this thing called “World War II.”
Wow, they should make a movie about it.
No spoilers!
I can’t tell you the military-industrial complex wins?
You mean that wasn’t Independence Day?
There was a sequel?!
Those Nazis guys were sure some not very nice people.
Is there nudity?
Way too many shower scenes.
Dateline feburay 27 a fire burned down the Reichstag building. Berlin what a city!
McDonald’s all-day breakfast: There are worse alternatives (Taco Bell’s breakfast menu).
McDonald’s all-day breakfast: When you just don’t like the gritty taste of Metamucil, we have another way to blow your colon!
Where you were born says fuck all about who you are.
I was born a poor black child.
Unless you were born in a very rich area.
THIS CHUCK PAGANO, I CALL HIM CANCER SURVIVOR, BECAUSE HE SOMEHOW KEEPS BREATHING DESPITE BEING AROUND JIM IRSAY
These some good drugs, Chuck.
Irsay and Pagano meet after his diagnosis.
IRSAY: We’ll do everything we can to support you and help you recover, Chuck.
PAGANO: Thanks, Jim. The meds are rough. Expensive and hard to handle. Glad we have such great insurance, thanks.
IRSAY: What are you on?
PAGANO: Lots of things.
IRSAY: Name one.
PAGANO: Well, there’s this one pill called Leukeran, and it’s so poisonous that we have to handle it with gloves, and women of child-bearing age aren’t even supposed to touch it.
IRSAY (opening up a pill bottle he pulled out of his pocket): Leukeran, eh? Little brick-red round pill? (shakes a couple out, holds them in his palm) How many you need?
PAGANO: Jesus, Jim, what are you doing with those??!?!
IRSAY: Yeah, I know, they’re supposed to be refrigerated. But if you crush ’em up and snort ’em, it’s all good.
IRSAY: Dilaudid, huh?
PAGANO: Yeah, 2 mg, two of em at meals.
IRSAY: Fuck that, here’s some 8’s, take two of these and you are GOOOD.
PAGANO: They don’t even make an 8 mg, Jim…
IRSAY: They do in Europe, pussy. You got a twenty I can roll up?
Well, I found my vote for comment of the week.
The NFL system of having the ref announce everything to the camera is slow and archaic and needs to go. By the time he announced the review we’ve already seen 2 or 3 replays, and for most calls that’s almost enough time to decide the replay. No commercial needed.
The worst part of the in-stadium experience is having to look on your phone to see what the replay is showing.
Also, the cost.
The beating you get in the parking lot is part of the immersive experience; just like the ones the players get on the field.
YA CLOTS
SOTRNG TAWK
Link didn’t work. I’ll try another one
http://boompopmedia.com/index/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/alison-brie-gif.gif
Look at Belichik and his Microsoft Surface.
What a dick!
Against my better judgment (not that I’ve ever had better judgment) think I’ll start drinking again after drinking and passing out from the early games….’ cause you’re never too old to make bad decisions.
Hey, you’re on my program!
I support this.
Deebo approved.
Not a catch
Super Bowl hero Malcolm Butler everyone.
Throw touchdowns, real precise
Livin in an Amish paradise
BOOOOOOOOOOO
Wow, Indy looking surprisingly competent.
In other news, Indy fans are looking unsurprisingly corpulent.
“If my diet’s so bad, why do I never go to the bathroom?”
-Clots Ticket Holder
Good crief.
Holy shit, the fade worked!
“I told you it would!”
– Iman Shumpert
Andrew Luck is seeing the field, as opposed to y’know…Not seeing the field.
No, Cris, a “taste of their own medicine” for the patriots would be a Clots forty yard TD after an uncalled blatant pick play.
It would be the Clots fucking with the Pats headsets frequency.
Taping their practices for a season or four?
(We could do this all night)
Fucking the players’ mothers?
Replacing their Gatorade with that fucked-up anti-concussion drink?
Or the Clots spending years illegally videotaping the Patriots defensive formations and ultimately getting away with it.
Jack Doyle? What other team could that name play for?
Da GritSawx
Chip Kelly’s already on the phone to make a trade.
Doyle rules!
Packers?
The Irish O’Irishers.
The IRA
Saw a “I support the IRA, the undefeated army of Ireland” bumper sticker on a car at the grocery store. Had to restrain myself from busting the car’s window.
I just got done saying to a friend of mine after the Gore run, “it’s not like we can expect this level of near-competence to continue for the Clots…”
False start. Back ’em up.
“Gore through the middle, exploding!”
Oh, Al…
Those sound like stage directions from the original script of “Alien”.
fuck, wrong one
LETS PARTY LIKE ITS 2011
Andrew Luck the moment they closed the roof on Lucas Oil stadium:
On Elite Singles I can find the exact type of women I am looking for, female Joe Flacco impersonators.
[Door Flies Open]
HI! I’M TERRY BRADSHAW TO SELL YOU ELITE SHINGLES! SCARED!? LET ME IN!
THIS TERRY BRADSHAW, I CALL HIM MEXICAN ROOFER, BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS JABBERING ON ABOUT HOW BAD HIS SHINGLES ARE
^
Banner quote
COME ON ANDRE WOO
It’s been raining all day so the temp has reached the mid-70’s. I feel that’s cool enough to trigger dark liquors.
I’m gonna mix up my inaugural manhattan.
Max will have to answer to the Aqua-Cola Company.
We are War Boys
Michelle Tafoya with the IMPORTANT sideline news.
She hates football. I love it. You can see the complete lack of interest and little flashes of “what did I do with my life?” run across her face every time she’s on screen.
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