![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
NE @ Ind: [swallows bile and pride] I have to give the guy credit for saying what everyone knows and what never gets said in major media. There. I feel faint but I think I’m okay. What no one addressed is that Brady added, “Donuts are the Anti-Christ!” so the Pats may want to re-evaluate their concussion protocols. Look, the Pats are rested, this is a “revenge” game and Belichick has had two weeks to prepare. This will not go well for the Colts. Don’t get me wrong-I’ll be cheering for the home team but their D is porous and QB-wise this is a no-brainer. Prove me wrong, Luck.
Your “Coke Is Poison!” Sunday Night Thread
Tags: can you say blowout?
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Like a hack singer, Elvis is theeeere!
Kraft: “Can you make a new rule to credit WR with INTs on tipped passes?”
Goodell: “Screw you!”
I wish every team would collude to trade Suh to whichever team is playing NE every week.
Just give Tawmy 16 weeks of cheap shots.
The after-play stomps would be glorious.
I’m pretty sure that was an episode of Breaking Madden.
More Insufferable: Edelman or Patriots-era Welker?
yes
I think post-Pats Welkah needs to be considered in any insufferable-off:
sonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Pick6 by the…. Cooooooolts???????
oh fuck yes and woo
womp womp DREAMPICKSIX
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Delightful
That was fuckin great!
OH YES YES YES YES YES SO BEAUTIFUL
Yes! Put that INT on Brady’s stat sheet!
Was that a timeout because the ref had to take a dump?
Like seeing Brady get hit.
What the fuck was that? The ref got breathed on and needed a time out?
Mary Louise Parker. NSFW.
h ttp://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/192/1922398/28_2009/974dc49b58970bb2_mlp7909.jpg
Ive been trying to no avail to find a gif of her in the prison from one of the later, unspoken-about seasons of Weeds.
I love the actress. I only made it through one season of Weeds. And that was back when I was able to smoke every day after working 16 hours a day at 2 jobs.
One of the things Cancer has taught me is that an old friend will come back into my life bearing surprising news.
This Chicago Fire I call it a golazo cuz it also plays in the MLS.
Dirt Jets fan, Marisa Tomei:
Alyssa Milano too?
She’s actually a Dodgers fan. Still purty:
I thought because of the Islander fan (David Volek) she may also be a Met fan. She was a childhood wet dream.
I would like to slide into third base with her if you know what I mean.
Speaking for time travel, this Wednesday is Future Day (the date Marty, Doc and Jennifer traveled forward to in Back to the Future Part II). Anyone else looking forward to their flying cars, hoverboards and rehydratable pizza?
I, for one, cannot wait to see my first mid-air 40 car pileup.
We already have flying cars, theyre called airplanes.
They had those in 1955, too.
Holy shit. DSO’ers, I am about an hour removed from having to explain the difference between stereotyping and generalizations to a couple of highschool teachers. Holy shit that was frustrating.
Do you mean Door Swings Open?
The subject matter is completely different.
Shit. I haven’t done that in a while. I’ll put a 20 in the Year End Party funds jar.
All the same to me.
I’ve not yet seen a Draft Kings commercial today.
What’s going on here?
I’ve noticed that too.
SHHHHHHHH! If you say that too loud, you’ll awake it!
Since Nevada moved to shut them down they may be trying to keep a lower profile.
I’ve seen plenty of Fan Duel crap though.
Nevada shut down FanDuel too.
All daily fantasy providers are out of Nevada.
I know I’m a bad person for saying this but tape a penny to the football and I guarantee you Edelman will never have another drop….. in fact, he’d follow it right over the side of a cliff or a balcony.
DATS RAYCESS. OR BIGOTESSS
Yes, your hypothesis is confirmed: you are a bad person.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure there are LOTS of reasons you’re a bad person.
Not a lot of Gronk thus far.
THIS GUY I CALL HIM THE SWAMP FOX BECAUSE BRADY CAN’T FIND HIM!
His coverage to date has been tighter than your average co-ed, though.
She is nice to look at.
Would have been funny if Wilson just sat on the sideline bobbing his head while Cam drove down the field to win that game.
WOOOO KENYON MARTIN WOOOOO
That Nets team was awesome.
Macklemore: for people who want rap, without the Negros
Paula Deen approves
Paul Deen would like butter with her rap.
Paula Deen would like to lick a butter wrap
She’d also like butter with her butter.
Hulk Hogan approves, Brother!
Paula Deen is fine with negroes in positions of servitude.
/sees Bose commercial with Macklemore hyping up Russel Wilson
/vows never to buy Bose products ever again
Macklemore and Russel Wilson in the same commercial? Brilliant! A white man pretending to be black, and a black man pretending to be white!
Knock that shit off, Macklemore. You’re getting my grandpa’s clothes wet.
damn, no love for jpgs? What is this site, Hellen Keller?
Capital .jpgs don’t seem to want to post most of the time.
http://cdn3-www.afterellen.com/assets/uploads/images/072508mlp_party.JPG
She was so hot in Bad Santa.
That was Lauren Graham:
http://t.wallpaperweb.org/wallpaper/babes/1280×960/lauren_graham_20060920_0007_1280x960.jpg
(Also very hot)
Sorry, for some reason a tab with Mary Louise Parker opened up on me. Stupid iPad.
FUCK ME SANTA!
THIS GUY LOTHAR OF THE HILL PEOPLE, I CALL HIM CINDERELLA’S COACH, BECAUSE HE’S ABOUT TO TURN INTO A PUMPKIN.
In other words, g’night all. Gotta get up early and photocopy exams for my 8 am class.
Sleep well!
Good luck amigo!
Drunk! I’m drunk.
GIVE EM HELL
Invest in an aluminum yardstick.
Cal Ripken is the biege wallpaper of announcers.
Wallpaper paste.
Yup, you get the world’s smoothest lager by letting pencil shavings rot at the bottom of your brewing tuns.
#FuckYourMacro
Why does Budweiser still bother to pretend that anyone drinks their beer because of its “quality” or beechwood aging or any of that shit? At least those commercials that implied microbrews are gay was honest.
I like the idea of Dreamboat coming to Mile High with no left tackle.
I like the idea of Dreamboat coming to Mile High with no left VENTRICLE.
ftfy
he could LEAVE that way!
No left HEMISPHERE.
That’s the cheatin’ hemisphere!
“Arrieta was a different pitcher then”
/Arrieta walks Granderson on 4 pitches.
Looks about the same to me!
“Look at the way TAWMMY drove down the field to score on the last drive! That block in the back on this punt doesn’t even matter! How can you throw that flag?! It doesn’t matter so you shouldn’t call the penalty!”
How I imagine NE fans are watching this game.
(Sorry — I suck at the Bostonian accent)
Alright. So other than Michaels and Collinsworth figuratively giving oral sex to Tom Brady, what else did I miss?
Did he finish?
The literal portion.
Should I try to pay attention to the Cubs and get invested, or should I just not get my hopes up in the first place?
Right now, not looking like a worthwhile emotional investment.
They’re down 3-0 and it’s really cold out.
Skip it.
Get invested. If you refuse to get your heart broken, you’re not a real fan.
I was never going to be a real fan, really.
Yeah that’s worked well for us Cub fans the last 107 years.
I’m a Cincinnati Reds fan, Bengals fan, Bearcats fan and Ohio State fan. My hearts been broken so many times its nothing more than a scared up mass that has no feeling other than a mild pain that I should probably have checked out.
Plus the race riots.
That wasn’t sports related. The Cincinnati riots were due to break down in relations between the City & Police and the people.
The Ohio State riots were because we were bored.
I gave up on the Cubs in 1986 and have not regretted it a single damned day since.
My dad used to call us his Cubs. And abandoned us in ’86.
CBS: “We could make that a drama!”
With the advancements in drugs and technology, is getting a root canal really the *worst* experience anymore?
How about, “I’d rather fall victim to that CTE the NFL has known about all along.”
Al just wants to avoid having all the embarrassing shit he’d say while coming out from under the anesthesia broadcast all over the internet.
You have no proof for that or global warming. #trump2016
I’ll give Al a root canal… with a sledgehammer.
People these days talkin’ ’bout participation trophies like they hope they’ll get the first trophy ever for participating in a talk ’bout particpation trophies, I never did see such a thing
Y’know what I say to them, I say, “Good effort”
People, in general, like to talk about how much more difficult things were when they were kids. But when something is made easier for kids (e.g. participation trophies) it’s terrible.
I was looking for a picture of that girl from House (MD) because I thought her name was Edelman and that’s funny, but it turns out her name is Edelstein. Then I thought of Mary Louis Parker. http://obxentertainment.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/marylouiseparker.jpg
So the story has a happy ending.
That made me find this gif again
That is… not a healthy finger, that.
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