Your Faux-Existential Monday Night Thread

Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by  a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!

NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.

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Redshirt

THIS CHRIS BERMAN, I CALL HIM JAR JAR BINKS BECAUSE WE ALL WANTED DARTH VADER TO DECAPITATE HIM!!!!

Why Thank You Eddie

This Chris Berman. I call him Aunt Beru’s blue milk cause nobody wants it.

Brick Meathook
Why Thank You Eddie

I. Fritz Freeling…way down in my bowels right now.

Why Thank You Eddie

My bad. Freleng. I. sure he forgives me.

JustStopDude

Oh dear god I am so sick of the local political commercials here in Roanoke.

Near as I can tell, the two candidates have the exact same positions…except which one of them is Literally Mech-Hitler.

Sharkbait

Thats why I’m so glad I dont live in New Hampshire anymore.

WhyEaglesWhy

This is the kind of shitshow where you just hope you’re the guy that gets shit in his eye and not the guy who gets shit in his mouth. NFC EAST FEVER…CATCH IT!

Doktor Zymm

NFC East Fever is a really nice name for dysentery.

blordinaryfagicmox

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Sill Bimmons

I’m making those for every first date I ever have from now on.

Moonbatting Average

When did it become Thursday night? I had a lot of shit to get done this week!

bourb0nblues

In Soviet NFL, Thursday night shits on you!

Why Thank You Eddie

Don’t be fainting in another man’s arms Eli.

Hey, look, Jabba the Hutt is in the new Star Wars

No, that’s just Chris Berman.

Why Thank You Eddie

See? They just passed Whitlock over again.

Sill Bimmons

I’ve got Curry Pork on the way…

JustStopDude

That was some quality “LOOK OUT” blocking….

Spur

Dammit Eli!
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John Difool

Bradford and Manning in this game so far:

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Gratliff

ENZO AMORE REPRESENT!

Spur

So this is going to be one of THOSE games.

Dick E. Phuck

The best part about this game is probably the Star Wars teaser.

Badger

Anybody trying to buy Star Wars tickets right now?

Moonbatting Average

I can’t decide if this is awesome or terrible. Since I hate both teams, I guess I’ll go with awesome

makeitsnowondem

Too bad I don’t get credit for that Bradford tackle. 🙁

Old School Zero

You need it tonight.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I knew I shouldn’t have bothered turning this on.

Brick Meathook

Any news on the election for Canadian King?

litre_cola

The young good looking guy swept the Maritimes. We wait for the big boys now.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Turnover party

blordinaryfagicmox

Jokes on them, Michigan guy is gonna be rolling in royalties from that.

Sharkbait
Sill Bimmons

What a shitshow.

Sill Bimmons

Every shitshow is somebody’s shitshow.

WCS

ANY HERP YOU CAN DO I CAN DERP BETTER

litre_cola

Number one pillar in Coughlins regime?

Is he sponsored by Cialis yet?

WhyEaglesWhy

“Oh yeah? Whatever you do I can do better!” – Sam Bradford

You herp, I derp

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am leaning heavily on the Community women tonight, I will change it up in the second half. That being said I have never seen this Alison Brie pic so it is getting posted

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me4ej593j61qm22yyo7_r1_250.gif

blackroseMD1

I’m absolutely fine with how heavily you’re leaning on the Community women.

Redshirt

There’s nothing wrong with Alison Brie reposts.

litre_cola

Jays game is a joke now, nothing new in the election

WhyEaglesWhy

If you told me before the season that the Eagles’ defense would be significantly better than the offense, I would have thought they’d be in the Super Bowl. Instead, they’re terrible.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“FUCK YOU, JOBS!”

– Twitter executives, last week

Spur

Anybody else see Liv Tyler’s merkin on the Leftovers last night?

JustStopDude

What I imagine being a Giants fan is like…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvyOsYjWJlA

Dick E. Phuck

THESE NEW YORK GIANTS. I CALL THEM A 14 YEAR OLD BOY BECAUSE ALL THEY DO IS FUCK THEMSELVES.

WCS

Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL proudly presents, the 8-8 NFC East and eventual Super Bowl champions, the New York Giants!

litre_cola

Will they meet the 8-8 AFC South Champions the Fat Hump Colts?

Redshirt

So which 18-1 team will they lose to? Patriots, Broncos or Bengals?

Redshirt

*lose to them

I’m tired.

Dick E. Phuck

Panthers. Hey, one can imagine.

Redshirt

They can’t beat them in the Super Bowl. The Giants will beat the 17-1 Panthers in the Conference Finals.

Guess the Giants don’t want the 4 seed.

litre_cola

Bahahahahahahaha this is delicious.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Old School Zero

Just once I’d love to see a NFL ref fuck up and dive on a loose ball before anyone else does.

Gratliff

Game of the year so far.

JustStopDude

I assume that Eli has to wear a helmet all the time. Like in the locker room they make him wear his outdoors helmet and the vest that has a rope attached to his parental unit to make sure he doesn’t get his head stuck in storm drains or pickle jars.

John Difool

Eli looks scared…. like sitting in kindergarten and somebody might smell the poop he just made in his pants scared.

That’s why you can’t swat away Eli’s juicebox.

Gratliff

BOO@THAT SHIT

litre_cola

9-2 Dirt Argos over the dirt Chiefs, when does Andy Reid burn a timeout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Old School Zero

Someone check on Rappoccio.

Oh. I suppose that’s probably my job.