Your Thursday Night Winner-Takes-Nothing Open Thread

[waves beige flag] Up here in The Canada we’re three days into Justin Trudeau’s Reign Of Liberal Terror. Not much has changed. Oh wait, last night on my way home I was dragged out of my car and forced to do a bong against my will. Bastard six year-old’s-I’ll get you some day! Actually, now that I think of it, I walked into work the day after the election and my new boss was an Inuit-and I own my own business. That’s not right. Well, I’m sure I’ll feel better at 4 pm tomorrow when I collect my first weekly $500 Happy Citizen Stipend. I can apply for more but I don’t want to seem greedy. I guess at some point I’ll get accustomed to all the changes but it’s going to take some time…

Sea @ SF: Is it week seven already? Then it must be the first of many must-win games for the dregs of the NFC West. The team that does the vanquishing tonight will greatly increase their odds of finishing third in the division. Despite Sherman’s bravado, you (if you are a team) can run, pass and wiggle the old kielbasa at The Legion of Boom and they won’t do much about it. Everyone gets well vs. the Niners this year but the ‘Hawks are wonky as hell. [light bulb appears over head] I’ve got it! “THIS GAME WILL NOT BE A MESS.” There ya go-I fixed it for you!*

 

*pssst…there’s hockey, college football, FIFA U-17 Football, wood nymph volleyball and even Grey’s Scatology on elsewhere-I won’t mind if those things come up every once in while down below.

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Doktor Zymm

Morning is a stupid time. I haven’t used a sick day yet this year, I should start calling in sick due to grumpiness.

Lothar of the Hill People

I’d like morning a lot better if it came after noon.

Doktor Zymm

Right? I mean, who put it so early? How inconsiderate.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really tried to make myself care about tonight’s game, but that never happened. I watched the shows I missed last night watching Red vs. Blue. There are now 26 hours of that on Netflix. I only watched the first few seasons back when they were 25 5 min clips a year. The later seasons actually have good choreography in the action scenes that don’t feature the original cast, the ones with the original cast remain just as terrible but with updated graphics.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I still have Heroes Reborn (becoming a fan tbh) and Bones (I feel I could ignore this) to watch. But after posting that I just want to finish the last 2 Red vs Blue but that keeps up til 7 and I have to be up doing yardwork by then because my city only has 2 official days to pick up yard waste in the street, tomorrow and 3 weeks from now after we have 3 feet of snow because we always do by mid-November. Should I just go cut down all my plants tonight instead? I could chain smoke and do it.

Doktor Zymm

So, Seahawks fan was actually pretty awesome. Tonight reminded me why I like bars. Next week will probably remind me why I started drinking at home.

Brick Meathook

At least I can still watch UCLA somehow lose this game.

The Maestro

Well, I missed everything.

And actually, quite honestly, I’m ok with this.

On a scale of 1 to Planned Parenthood, how big of an abortion was this game?

Why Thank You Eddie

The took the stem cells, put them in a blender with Grey Goose and Coconut Water and drank it on live TV

WCS

Dave Spade is looking good.

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Why Thank You Eddie

Yeah, that Hillary is a slippery bitch ain’t she.

Doktor Zymm

If you like ham with one M, you’ll love Hamm’s with two M’s! Mmmmm.

Sharkbait

The 9ers would play Journey after games

WCS

Nothing gets white people more excited than, “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I believe you are overlooking “YMCA”, dear sir.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

3-4 WOO! Not quite as bad as yesterday!

JustStopDude

So the Niners go out to the parking lot, where Tomsula will be making the post game stew of cats, wild onions, and discarded potatoes from the local Whole Foods dumpster?

JustStopDude

Why do they keep showing that sad hobo?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

HOBO!
/waitaminute….

Doktor Zymm

Hey look! A seahawks fan! A fat, bald, white guy in a kam chancellor jersey? Yup.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HEY! THAT’S JUST OUT OF LI-

No, actually that’s pretty accurate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, Go easy on us fat bald guys…. or at least the bald ones.

Doktor Zymm

To be fair, it’s chicago, we have a lot of fat bald guys with inexplicably lush mustaches.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can understand the jersey wearing conundrum; I mean really.

Sharkbait

I would like CBS to make a NCIS take place in a city in a landlocked state, just to see if anyone notices.

Horatio Cornblower

Myself I’m neutral on the idea of ‘NCIS: Wichita’

JustStopDude

“Someone cursed in public! All new NCIS: UTAH”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pedantic mode on; they have to investigate crimes and misbehavior all over and marines are included so……..

Pedantic mode off; yes, that would be fucking stupid.

Lothar of the Hill People

That’s the problem, though. NCIS: Los Angeles? There’s no Navy or Marine base there!

Horatio Cornblower

“The remainder of ‘Football Town: Barrow Alaska’ has been canceled after a polar bear ate the starting halfback.

Horatio Cornblower

Chuck Norris has killed so many Asians since that time Bruce Lee beat the crap out of him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not Chuck; an even shittier movie, but your point is still val……………. funny.

Spanky Datass

Vat’s eating Bee-lee?
GET TO ZEE CHOPPA!!!!1!1!!!

makeitsnowondem

“And now, Phil, I have an even more awkward question: Do you think the nanobubbles are taken from the Pool of Bethesda? Would that explain it? Or do you think it’s, like, just some psychosomatic effect? And if so, what would that say about the existence of God? That he works through mysterious means, or that he’s just not there and every experience we impute to his influence is just a product of our own minds? And how’s Chris by the way?”

Brick Meathook
Spanky Datass

!!
comment image

Sharkbait

Why. Why the fuck did you call a timeout there?

Doktor Zymm

Remember that first week of the season when the 49rs decimated the Vikings? Yeah, due to alcohol and people from north carolina I don’t either.

JustStopDude

Phil is seriously justifying the 49er’s, down by three scores, and punting on 4th down with 3 minutes left.

What the fuck would have to take place on an NFL field that Phil would not agree with?

Ritualistic human sacrifice?

Horatio Cornblower

He did say “the game is over”, suggesting not so much that the 49ers were right to punt, but that they were right to just quit and walk off the field.

I can’t say I disagree with him on this.

JustStopDude

I agree with him…along with the rest of humanity…that this game is over. Everyone knows this.

BUT THE FUCKING 49ERS SHOULD AT LEAST PRETEND LIKE THEY CARE!

WCS

I was looking forward to starting a new book about the African World War. Instead, Amazon delayed it’s shipment until last night, and I’m forced to watch this banality.

Horatio Cornblower

“We’ve not had a first down by either team in eight minutes.” said Nantz, capturing the essence of Thursday Night Football.

JustStopDude

So when does Tomsula get taken out like Lennie Small?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m thinking it’ll be more of a Hoffaesque disappearance.

JustStopDude

Either way, he is oddly not going to see it coming…

WhyEaglesWhy

I have missed the entire second half until just now, and I feel like I never went away.

Brick Meathook
WCS

“All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal.”

— pretty much describes the DFOers

WhyEaglesWhy

They all like Ferris Bueller. They think he’s a righteous dude.

Why Thank You Eddie

You take that back… most of it.

Doktor Zymm

I thought I heard someone say ‘Tebow’ but they were talking about a hockey player with a similar sounding name. We shared a brief joke about hockey for jesus.

WCS

Over on TWWL, Ucla is murderdeathkilling Cal.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Homer-yells-nerd.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

3 seashells

makeitsnowondem

Four minutes left? Time flies when you’re having beers.

Sharkbait

5 massages and no happy endings?

Old School Zero

Not a single one.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s what you get when you go to the NORTH Korean massage parlor.

Old School Zero

I shall not underestimate my roster’s ability to fail.

Horatio Cornblower

Well my decision to start Carlos Hyde this week seems to have paid off.

Old School Zero

An actual player from a decent team > Boldin > Hyde

Horatio Cornblower

You should be ecstatic; I’m playing you.

blaxabbath

Bring The Flow!

blaxabbath

Back when he used to bang chicks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO

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