[waves beige flag] Up here in The Canada we’re three days into Justin Trudeau’s Reign Of Liberal Terror. Not much has changed. Oh wait, last night on my way home I was dragged out of my car and forced to do a bong against my will. Bastard six year-old’s-I’ll get you some day! Actually, now that I think of it, I walked into work the day after the election and my new boss was an Inuit-and I own my own business. That’s not right. Well, I’m sure I’ll feel better at 4 pm tomorrow when I collect my first weekly $500 Happy Citizen Stipend. I can apply for more but I don’t want to seem greedy. I guess at some point I’ll get accustomed to all the changes but it’s going to take some time…
Sea @ SF: Is it week seven already? Then it must be the first of many must-win games for the dregs of the NFC West. The team that does the vanquishing tonight will greatly increase their odds of finishing third in the division. Despite Sherman’s bravado, you (if you are a team) can run, pass and wiggle the old kielbasa at The Legion of Boom and they won’t do much about it. Everyone gets well vs. the Niners this year but the ‘Hawks are wonky as hell. [light bulb appears over head] I’ve got it! “THIS GAME WILL NOT BE A MESS.” There ya go-I fixed it for you!*
*pssst…there’s hockey, college football, FIFA U-17 Football, wood nymph volleyball and even Grey’s Scatology on elsewhere-I won’t mind if those things come up every once in while down below.
ME, TO MY CAT: get off the keyboard. that’s too many characters. if i didn’t know better i’d think you’d never tweeted before
“You guys are now millionaires” says Joe Rogan, who clearly does not understand state and federal tax laws.
Maybe he meant ‘briefly.’
Don’t ask me how I got this…I had to do some shameful things…but here is Tomsula’s playbook.
http://i.imgur.com/n1i68ET.jpg
HAIL BLEERG!
To all fans of teams with good O-lines:
Hail Bleergh
http://www.travel-studies.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/full-size/2_great_depression.jpg
When will we have Job-less movie theaters?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/26dc8e5c0d95cd03cb855b993f1f6443/tumblr_nms8q6QHJg1qch9gxo1_1280.png
Does it cost extra?
Asking for a meFRIEND.
What in the fuck was that Earl?
Of course the first prime time game the Bengals play is 2.0 Bowl II
http://33.media.tumblr.com/6eef719935342928d033b2e4871d239f/tumblr_nmxtddzKi01tl68gzo1_400.gif
Not virtually shut down, Jim; they’ve been ACTUALLY shut down.
Field goal off the fair catch! Field goal off the fair catch!
http://www.back9network.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Rodney_Dance_Caddyshack1.gif
That was the only 49ers drive I’ve seen and there is no way that the 49ers have only have just five three and outs.
So does Kaep end up starting for another really bad team next year, fall into the perpetual quarterback controversy that is CLE, or just go be a back up starting in 2017?
I think a better comparison would be to Washington.
Cleveland hasn’t been to the playoffs under any of their QB’s.
Replace RG3 with the closest thing to RG3?
The 9ers are playing like their were needlessly dismantled by Jed York during the offseason
Hey..big picture bub…they got their stadium!
What an investment!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qTz8G_QY9hU/Ubw9i1-0rbI/AAAAAAAAsEw/os9VrbZGr60/s1600/e4982539a0c303d08e86b356b11eeffd_image_document_xxl.jpg
And as a final humiliation Joe Philbin, you must drive home in the Car of Shame.
Men. I just had to MCGUYVER SOME SHIT to keep rain from flowing from our porch into the house. Home ownership! Avoid it at all costs
You burned the porch to the ground didn’t you?
SHHHHH
Oh look, ANOTHER xbox game I want. Videogames or saving for the wedding…
Registry idea.
Don’t save it for the wedding night. XBox is better out of wedlock.
FALLOUT4!!!! FALLOUT 4!!!! OMG IT’S FALLOUT 4!!!!
I’m still working my way through Fallout 3 for the first time.
Good game. Both 3 and New Vegas are ridiculously entertaining ways to waste time.
I’m a massive fan of 1 and 2–played them over and over again–and it’s familiar enough to be pleasing, but different enough to be all new.
Makes me really want to go back and play 1 and 2, though.
Talk dirty to me
Why did Seattle steals it’s uniform idea from a shitty Superman rip-off?
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Y7UP7BZwNyA/hqdefault.jpg
Eh, you never saw the real Batman I bet. Batty Batty Batty!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3po2ER3jxnI
Well! Dunno what happened but Safari is back to not working with [DFO].
::Posted from my Google Chrome Browser. Chrome: You can use it to distract your attention from this abortion of a game”
That’s weird. I tried it on my Safari and it seems to be working fine. What part isn’t working?
My login doesn’t stay logged in.
Don’t bother trying to understand it. Just accept it.
My mobile Safari does that too. That definitely explains a few things.
Um…I just went for a smoke. I live in Virginia…where basically almost every person has vanity plates for some reason.
A car leaving my apartment lot, I swear to god, had “NA3B1A” for a tag.
They only thing I can think of is the person is advertising they are a member of NAMBLA.
I should call someone…shouldn’t I?
Yup. Seems prudent.
What part of Virginia are you in? If you’re in the country…well, accidents happen. Bullets disappear. People disappear. Disturbed ground and unmarked graves appear. Things happen.
Just make sure he’s not a Marlon Brando doppelganger.
Maybe he’s a big fan of Namibia
Actually…that could be pretty likely. I live in a designated refugee city. So we have shit loads of people from all over.
Fuck yeah you should call the authorities if you caught a guy speeding off in your car!
Did we talk about the fact that the Seahawks seemed to be pretty blase about Marshawn throwing up at the beginning? Something about how he does it every game, just usually inside?
It seems pretty common. He missed the start of a few playoff games too last season.
It’s as though a grown man probably shouldn’t be wolfing down skittles by the handful.
Tasting the rainbow might have a different meaning in San Fransisco
“DON’T YOU TELL ME HOW TO LIVE!”
– JaMarcus Russell
All day breakfast. All day breakfast. McMuffins and bacon and sausage and shit…
Yeah I guess he can’t couteract them with some good ol thc since he might get suspended. But, I’m going to do what those pussy announcers will never do and speculate wildly on his health: it could be some kind of anxiety issue which would jive with his unwillingness to talk to the media.
He’d just seen Bevell’s playbook.
Wonder if he makes a sound like their kicker name Hauschka when he throws up? TMZ probably would want to know. Y’know.
Jesus UCLA nailed a 60 yarder.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/31b542bb9f23d09dc19b1bd67b6f8a24/tumblr_inline_nlts42laEq1sh5y4v.gif
Oh, sure…I posted a Debbie Harry pic over an hour ago, and NOW you show up.
Thursday night football in a nutshell right there.
What the hell happened to Neon Genesis Evanelion’s budget?
How’d you get the artist’s rendition of my former sex life?
Aw man, a guy begging a crying girl to “say you’re going to do it for one minute.”
Brings me right back to my honeymoon.
I’ve been shit talking my ff matchup, who will probly win. My choice burns:
Your team is Phil Sims cialis boner
Your team is Matthew mchounany driving a lincoln to buy a dimebag
Your team is Russell Wilson’s sex tape (he takes a nap)
How’d I do?
Depends. Did your opponent start Brady or Romo?
Rivers. I have bottles. Ff is a sickness.
Bortles. Need to order my dialing wand.
Ah. I’d still go with the PHEEL joke.
Fantasy football
Is a fun little game
But the way I fuck your mother
Is a goddam shame
I know it would kill me…
But I would almost want to, with both of us wearing full pads, try to take a hit from Marshawn running at full speed.
Honestly just to see if my shoes fly off my feet like a cartoon.
That should be a make a wish for a kid who wants to knock off a bucket list item and choose his own time/method of death.
Why does Seattle’s away jerseys look like they accidently washed them with the home jerseys?
Full body pit stain.
Matt Drudge is pitching a “Hillary is actually terminally ill” theory if anyone’s interested.
That guy thinks everyone but him is hiding something in the closet.
To be fair, Matt Drudge genuinely considers his closet full of dead hookers to be more of a display case.
*dead male hookers
Hillary will never die. She’s too stubborn to die, and if Death refused to take Lawler there’s no way he’s taking Hil.
In other news, South Africa against New Zealand on Saturday morning – should be good.
They still waring?
Need that oil money.
Shortest war ever?
Well New Zealand’s armed forces is 50% hobbits, so technically, you’re right.
Hmmm…Who to root for…
LUKE MCCOWN: ROCK BOTTOM
He just needs an ’80s training montage. And talent.
How much you think Verizon paid for this endorsement?
Over/under $5k?
Hahaha like Verizon paid him! He got two weeks free service and a monthly 1GB data increase…. For six months.
With a 36 month contract.
Those were the fucking throws Wilson put up on those pics?
What a fucking moron!
Imagine being THAT guy…
standing there with some dude’s sweaty ass helmet against your face, smelling that shit, trying to hear some asshole on the other side “Okay…NOW do you hear me?”
Man the Verizon guy fell far.
He’s never washing that side of his face again.
Seahawks! 49ers!
It’s win or lose — whatever. Go home.
Nobody wins
THIS STEVE JOBS MOVIE, I CALL IT PERVERTED TEENAGE SEX, BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT JERKING OFF OVER AN APPLE
Apple’s maraschino cherry line of computers never really took off.
That bread football is so shitty even Homeless Ed Reed wouldn’t intercept it.
“HEY, LOOK, COACH! IT’S MY PHONE, BUT UNSLICED!” — Ochocinco
You’re a dick.
A big dick.
“HEY LOOK HONEY IT’S MY PHONE OVER BY THE SIDE OF THE RO..”
Chris Henry.
THIS GUY STEVE JOBS I CALL HIM KURT COBAIN BECAUSE LOTS OF PEOPLE INSIST THAT HE WAS A CREATIVE GENIUS BUT MOSTLY HE JUST ABUSED CHINA.
Nice.
Outstanding TD catch for Cal to put them back in the game before half.
http://2new4.fjcdn.com/pictures/Sesame+street+adventures+80_1db6d1_5719785.jpg
Since there is no Star Wars trailer for this game, hopefully this will do.
How is the game so far?
Also Fuck Steve Jobs.
Yeah. That sounds about right.
God damnit. I’m going to get AC Syndicate
I swear I think I need to get Cliff Notes to be able to follow these games you kids play now.
I’ve been disappointing by every AC game that wasn’t Black Flag. And yet, I buy each one.
I literally fell asleep during this game.
Is the game any better with your eyes closed?
Nope. I’m moving from couch to bed. Night all.
Even all. SF 0, SEA 17.
What time do the 49ers start playing?
Apparently now.
Joe Rogan yelling “Come on James, suck it in, it’s moving, big strokes buddy, big long strokes, use ALL the teeth” is the soundtrack to the pornography of my fucking nightmares.
I love hanging out with you damn degenerates so much but I’ve got to pretend to be functional tomorrow. So long…
Later, ‘gator.
g’night!