[waves beige flag] Up here in The Canada we’re three days into Justin Trudeau’s Reign Of Liberal Terror. Not much has changed. Oh wait, last night on my way home I was dragged out of my car and forced to do a bong against my will. Bastard six year-old’s-I’ll get you some day! Actually, now that I think of it, I walked into work the day after the election and my new boss was an Inuit-and I own my own business. That’s not right. Well, I’m sure I’ll feel better at 4 pm tomorrow when I collect my first weekly $500 Happy Citizen Stipend. I can apply for more but I don’t want to seem greedy. I guess at some point I’ll get accustomed to all the changes but it’s going to take some time…
Sea @ SF: Is it week seven already? Then it must be the first of many must-win games for the dregs of the NFC West. The team that does the vanquishing tonight will greatly increase their odds of finishing third in the division. Despite Sherman’s bravado, you (if you are a team) can run, pass and wiggle the old kielbasa at The Legion of Boom and they won’t do much about it. Everyone gets well vs. the Niners this year but the ‘Hawks are wonky as hell. [light bulb appears over head] I’ve got it! “THIS GAME WILL NOT BE A MESS.” There ya go-I fixed it for you!*
*pssst…there’s hockey, college football, FIFA U-17 Football, wood nymph volleyball and even Grey’s Scatology on elsewhere-I won’t mind if those things come up every once in while down below.
I just notice there’s not pink stuff on either team. Are we done caring about breast cancer, or is it just because the game is in San Francisco?
Should be rainbows there no? I personally would like to see the 9ers unis in tye dye
Pete Carroll believes the real crucial catch is getting the real people behind 9/11.
“I can’t speak to San Francisco, but the lack of ‘pink stuff’ on the Seahawks side is due to me. I asked my teammates for solidarity.”
– Russel Wilson
Phil Simms…voice of reason…
“Sure your house is on fire…but…now you don’t have to clean the gutters no more…”
Anyone have much first hand experience with a Honda Fit?
Does extending my right-hand middle-finger to elderly Ohioans driving them at a dangerously low speed on the highway count as first hand experience?
It sure does.
Then nope, sorry, no experience with them.
It was much smaller than expected…I meant the car, of course.
/eyes dart side to side
I wish!
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTIzNTMxNTM5Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMzc1MzU2._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg
*trap door flies open from ceiling* Good evening gents.
God?
Yes, and your god needs you to buy him a drink. He’s got bigger problems than you could ever imagine.
Here! I got you some slivovitz!
Every twenty-thirty something male I see in a car advertisement makes me want to skin them alive and use their femurs as golf clubs
That’s good hate. I can respect and admire hate like that.
It’s pretty good. Really good hate would be using their femurs to club more of their brethren to death.
They write all these fucking songs about love, but it’s fucking HATE that makes the world go ’round.
You can’t. They drink soy milk, so their bones are too brittle.
Their balls as Titleists, however…
Hahaha like these assholes have balls….
Oh shit, got a Pacific hurricane coming.
Since when did Deion have strong opinions? THE SHIELD DOES NOT BROOK DISSENT!!!
So, for srs, what are our views like lately? Are we retaining eyeballs, expanding reach, or back to 30 of us talking to each other?
I would bet there are a lot of readers who don’t comment like wherever we were last year.
The better question are how many profiles is just one person.
We’re all just figments of Otto’s imagination.
DON’T SHAKE THE SNOW-GLOBE, OTTO!
Oh yeah, fuck the whole back to the future day shit
Good lord, yes.
fucking overrated 80’s nostalgia bullshit
Seriously…they have killed that entire series for me.
And Robocop got more shit right…
Let Michael J Fox have his moment in the sun before he goes back to work as the paint mixer at Lowes.
You are a horrible person.
He actually moonlights as Khloe Kardashian’s sex toy.
I hope hell has good WiFi, I spit out some of my cider I laughed so hard at that one.
Can we do livebrogs in Hell or will Satan make us watch figure skating?
Curling. Hell has 50 channels of semi-professional curling.
Wow. I feel like every single special effect in the Supergirl preview could be replicated by me with fifteen minutes and MS Paint.
Yeah, I’ve seen better special effects in porn.
I don’t know what adjustments the Niners will make, but maybe if they started playing football, they’d be OK. Whatever this choreographed modern interpretive dance number is, it’s not impressing the Seahags.
http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/244/bebobbebob.gif
It doesn’t happen often, but I’m going to have to print a retraction.
The girl in Supergirl was never on Greek.
But what are her feelings on Greece, the country?
Today she’s happy about it, like we all are. Extremely happy about it, in fact.
Someday I’m going to ask for an explanation on that whole thing, but for now I’m amused by the absurdity of it all.
She works in Hollywood, I’m sure she’s been on a Greek.
/Greeks are the same as Jews, right?
But does she do Greek?
I heard she likes the diner down the street.
If so, you gotta pray she doesn’t clench. Super-anus powers would be deadly.
Does she like it Greek?
Whoops, didn’t see JJFozz up top. (That’s what she said.)
So how do Supergirl’s superpowers prevent bullets from tearing apart her clothing?
Jeb! eagerly awaits your responses.
She has first rate network censorship abilities
Deion Sanders is just barely more intelligible than Shannon Sharpe, who’s two steps up from Emmitt Smiff.
Russell Hamster
Woo! Ice Giants win!
http://i.imgur.com/1p7dYDC.gif
Now on to this back alley abortion of a game
Thursday night foosball means no fucking Chris “dicksweat” Berman. so there’s that.
Always happy to see John Noble cashing a paycheck. I miss Fringe.
His rant about the poison in strawberry pop tarts was amazing. That show was great.
This week on Madam Secretary, a teenager has sex.
With the Madam or Secretary?
HEY AWESOME, more Sunday morning football from London?
AWW CRAP, it’s Bills-Jags. That’s not technically football.
http://www.dogpictures.co/pictures/Grr_Puppy.jpg
Bills -4. Shut up and take my money!
It’s an international incident. The UN and Red Cross are on standby, ready to assist people in the game’s broadcast zone.
Welp, at least the Bears won’t get pantsed as bad as the 49ers this week.
Wooooo bye week:
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2015/10/22/bears-bye-week-update-in-the-deep-deep-woods/
I have my TV on mute. What did Tomsula say during that interview?
Something about living next to a Fryman and a ball of talking meat.
He asked if she had any spare change, he’s trying to get a BART ticket.
Tomsula looked like he was thinking of beer and hookers.
Good on Tomsula not asking for change during that sideline interview…
Reggie Bush still hasn’t learned he cant juke defenders even after 10 years in the league.
My roommate upon looking at that QB comparison graphic: “Why is that KC guy standing there looking so gay?”
Is there an NFL mercy rule?
I mean every single aspect of the game…the Niners look terrible.
They beat Seattle 3-0 in retained timeouts!
They won the battle of the challenge flags thrown on plays you can’t challenge.
Should have had more magic fizz bubble holy water before the game I guess.
Dammit, where’d the “This is Great +1” button go?
Refresh the page
Ha ha fuck you seahags
Now, now…save it for the 4th quarter, when it will mean something.
I always love it when a team is getting its ass handed to them and a player makes one good play like Reid did…and glares down the receiver…
THE CHARMIEST END ZONE INTERCEPTION YOU’LL EVER SEE, FOLKS! WHAT A COUNTRY!
7nterceptions coming
Charmception
New game: develop Tomsula’s halftime speech.
“We’ll we’re not going to win, but, if any of you want to see a cockfight, I know a place afterwards.”
Who moved my 84 Buick?!
It’s just silence, him alone in his office, and then a gunshot.
LOOK YOU BUNCH OF GREASY MOTHERFUCKERS, IT’S TIME TO GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND START FUCKING SHIT UP.
I FUCKED SHIT UP IN THE PORN BUSINESS BACK IN THE 70S – YOU THINK IT WAS FUN? I WAS MUNCHING ON HAIRPIE THAT LOOKED LIKE BUCKWHEATS AFRO ON A HUMID DAY IN ALABAMA.
I’VE WORKED IN A STEEL MILL, LUMBERJACK, REPO BUSINESS, PRIVATE EYE, AND DOGTRACK SECURITY.
THIS IS MY TIME YOU BUNCH OF CUNTPUNCHERS, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND GET THE JOB DONE!
I don’t know what he’ll say, but I know there will be an inspirational garbage can fire at some point.
Guys please!…I can’t go back to the shelter. BAD THINGS happen there…
Just 20 minutes of him walking around the locker room yelling “have you seen my keys?” while looking under towels.
GOD WANTED ME TO THROW THAT INTERCEPTION TO TEST MY FAITH!
I bet he would have caught it if that was a basketball
Jimmy getting clobbered in the paint after a no-look pass.
Is there a dominant division in the NFL this year? It seems like everyone took a step back.
The Referees? They’re killing it in sheer yardage
AFC East once Tyrod comes back!
Yes. Because clearly what the AFC East needs to become elite on multiple fronts is Tyrod.
(Can I get blind drunk by 1 PM Sunday? I’m afraid for the Jets. My money is on “yes.”)
“Of course the Black guy is gonna wear a purple cape!”
-Riley Cooper
Jesus wanted him to get sacked.
DXL: we make fat guys feel good because other stores fat-shame.
DXL: No Fat Chicks, though
How in the fucking hell did the Ravens lose to this piece of shit team?
Oh, wait, because we’re MORE of a piece of shit team.
I need everyone’s thoughts for my Halloween costume. I’m going with an NFL theme…
http://www.allanstanglin.com/wp-content/uploads/donwhite.JPG
How does my Jim Tomsula costume look?
Needs more bindle.
All that blackface makes me think it’s an Ed Reed costume.
Ed Reed thinks the beard should be bigger, but not bad otherwise.
Try this again…
http://www.allanstanglin.com/wp-content/uploads/donwhite.JPG
Damn it…I’ve done been bested by the internets…
JPG dont work son. Only jpg. Shit’s case sensitive.
Needs more stank, lice, dried boogers, and VD from giving blow jobs behind boxcars for half empty cans of peas
Fred Jackson was in a car accident and didn’t tear his groin?
OH FUCK EVERY ANNOUNCER AND THAT BULLSHIT “BEST PUNT OF THE NIGHT” COCKSWALLOWING!!!! EVERY punt should be good, these assholes are professionals. Here’s an idea: try not to NEED. Good punt, you incompetent fucks
Pheeeeeel mention the Clausen!
Bush should have re-signed with USC instead of going to the 9ers.
3rd and 18, so….. a screen pass to Bush.
Lovie Smith stares blankly into space in approval.
Jim Caldwell nods absently.
That guy is far too normal looking to be a texans fan
I will personally send you $20 if you can provide photographic proof of a non-white person drinking Michelob Ultra.
I’ll send you $40 if you can send proof of someone actually enjoying it.