[waves beige flag] Up here in The Canada we’re three days into Justin Trudeau’s Reign Of Liberal Terror. Not much has changed. Oh wait, last night on my way home I was dragged out of my car and forced to do a bong against my will. Bastard six year-old’s-I’ll get you some day! Actually, now that I think of it, I walked into work the day after the election and my new boss was an Inuit-and I own my own business. That’s not right. Well, I’m sure I’ll feel better at 4 pm tomorrow when I collect my first weekly $500 Happy Citizen Stipend. I can apply for more but I don’t want to seem greedy. I guess at some point I’ll get accustomed to all the changes but it’s going to take some time…
Sea @ SF: Is it week seven already? Then it must be the first of many must-win games for the dregs of the NFC West. The team that does the vanquishing tonight will greatly increase their odds of finishing third in the division. Despite Sherman’s bravado, you (if you are a team) can run, pass and wiggle the old kielbasa at The Legion of Boom and they won’t do much about it. Everyone gets well vs. the Niners this year but the ‘Hawks are wonky as hell. [light bulb appears over head] I’ve got it! “THIS GAME WILL NOT BE A MESS.” There ya go-I fixed it for you!*
*pssst…there’s hockey, college football, FIFA U-17 Football, wood nymph volleyball and even Grey’s Scatology on elsewhere-I won’t mind if those things come up every once in while down below.
Now drinking: Evil Twin I Love You With My Stout.
I like this a lot better than their other stouts I’ve had, Yin and Soft DK.
I had just a taste of Founders Breakfast Stout last weekend, and I’m already figuring out how I can get some down where my mom/brother live in Santa Cruz.
I got a 4-pack of the Breakfast stout on recommendation from a buddy.
I forgot he loves coffee, while I hate coffee.
Anyone want 3 Founders’ Breakfast stouts?
Want to take a road trip to Portland?
Yes, I do.
You got a cage for my two kids?
I have an unfinished basement. We could probably secure the door.
Get some of their Kentucky Breakfast Stout. Or mail me some badass West Coast shit and I’ll mail you a Kentucky Breakfast Stout when it’s out.
When I come to Austin (Because I’m gonna at some point), I’ll bring you some special Portland magic, and hopefully leave with something similar.
Kentucky Breakfast Stout is likely to be suspended unless it goes pro after the first year.
I’m generally indifferent to the 9ers and Seahawks, but G-ddamnit Pheeel’s endless excuses for the Seahawks shitty play thus far is making me wish the 9ers weren’t trash.
It’s cuz of REASONS, okay?!! GAH!
Is it me or does stadium look kinda empty?
Okay, I know it’s only the second quarter but there’s no way I can keep watching without drinking more.
No one likes sharing a sack.
Oh, in San Francisco I’m sure you can find a few takers.
Name of hte wine I’m drinking tonight: Flaco
No shit, Chet. No shit.
Is it’s flavor described as “wet”
I bet it’s elit
It’s rated as “whelming” by Wine Spectator.
+ 7 INTs
It’s not one o’ them “high-brow” wines, is it?
More likely one o’ them “monobrow” wines.
I’m officially old…watching that video game commercial, I just sat there wondering “what the fuck are they selling?!?”
Games are too complicated now. Once they stopped having fake wood paneling on the consoles…I just checked out…
I wondered if it was a specific game, or PlayStation in general. It looked like Halo, an Indiana Jones game, maybe a new BioShock…. Is Call of Duty BlackOps just a blender of unfinished games?
I wasn’t very interested in this game to begin with, and a liberal application of alcohol to my mouth has only served to get me into a conversation about video poker regulations. Also I might be going to Cuba in a couple weeks.
It is fantastic. Havana is fucking unreal.
You know that if you go, and don’t bring back Cuban cigars for me, I will weep and rend my clothes.
Guess who sat The Lockett in the 20 teamer?
Your opponent this week?
Do we have any 9er commentists?
Tabs, right?
YUP, aka Covalent Blonde
Covalent Blonde?
That’s two Pearl Jam songs for those keeping score at home.
By the way, if you ever want to fuck with someone, set their browser home page to ratemypoo.com
http://www.ratemypoo.com/top.html
THIS NINERS DEFENSE, I CALL THEM THE SELECT COMMITTEE ON BENGHAZI, BECAUSE THEY’RE VERY CONSERVATIVE AND THEY’RE EMBARRASSING TO WATCH
Peter King has a raging clue right now.
Lockett points for some happy folks out there!
Based on this level of defense, I clearly died at my nephew’s game and have made it to the Hell of Repeating Terrible Football. Anyone know Orpheus’ number? I need a ride out of here.
That was PURTY.
Hey guys, Tyler Lockett is pretty good. You might want to try covering him.
wait, wut
Something happened?
Holy shit that was a pretty pass…
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b3ad304f3423533c8788618ef32c2ad7/tumblr_nhkw8lho4L1rcoly3o1_500.gif
Alison Brie keeps showing up in my image searches for “mantzoukas doppelganger colin kaepernick”, what gives?
woops, meant this picture
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4dk8i42lD1qzcyaqo6_1280.jpg
Hate to say it but Jurassic World looks stupid in those skinny jeans.
Many people say that high school is where the legend of Beast Mode began, but those people are known not to go stupid in Madden.
I don’t really understand why they make movies about chefs and food. You can’t smell/taste film.
http://www.worldtvpc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/smellovision_wonka.jpg
Says who – Quentin Tarantino
I really question why people watch that hell’s kitchen children’s show.
It creeps me out. I can’t help but imagine each one of those kids are brutally damaged emotionally by their parents to be on that show.
People don’t stop being terrible when they reproduce and start getting less sleep, sex, and money.
Anybody remember the website “this is why you’re fat?”
Unrelated, I’m making myself a beer float with lagunitas ipa and vanilla ice cream.
I startled my dog by yelling at Lockett to “pick it up”.
My dog looked guilty when I yelled at Kaep to “Quit eating shit!”
I hope Tomsula sounds like Nick Nolte when he talks.
Busey. Full on Busey.
Never go full Busey.
http://media.giphy.com/media/1OSm0a4Jog4iQ/giphy.gif
Tomsula is out there, man. Like, Pluto.
Yo.
Just got home from my nephew’s final middle school game of the year, a 40-6 drubbing that showed exactly why Lehigh Valley football is doomed for the next decade or so. Jesus. Alcohol should not only be allowed at these things, but encouraged.
Highlight of the night: a 50-something man yelling at a roughly 13-14 year old girl talking to another teenager, “he don’t even take care of the child he has with MY daughter, young lady, you need to leave him.”
Yeah. So I’m drinking for reals now.
That seems like a situation for booze, however that may lead to more children.
They’ve got to be better at football than the current generation.
Niners have got to get rid of this bum at quarterback and replace him with Trey Gowdy.
You spelled “coach” wrong.
shhhh, he can hear you
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b3ad304f3423533c8788618ef32c2ad7/tumblr_nhkw8lho4L1rcoly3o1_500.gif
Tomsula looks like the kind of guy who gets confused simply putting on socks
And yet he knows fifteen different ways to cook beans in a can.
“Baby, you got a stew going!”
How many head coaches can claim to be a member in good standing with the Freight Train Riders of America?
He only has one pair, so why would he take them off? Somebody might take them while he’s asleep!
He looks like every 80s tv/movie jerk dad.
He really is the gift that keeps on giving, comedy-wise. God I hope he stays in the league for like 20 years.
But he can handle a Christy Canyon/Ginger Lynn double team while smashing down a sixer of Bud
We’ve secretly replaced Colin Kaepernick with Josh Freeman. Let’s see if anyone notices/cares!
!
http://36.media.tumblr.com/5bcc0e4a666a727b578936bdd0ceb3f1/tumblr_nvrnqp7qxW1syvjuco1_500.jpg
Little Known Fact: The NFL Europe’s Rhein Fire claimed 23 lives.
Also little known: Billy Joel STARTED the Rhein Fire.
He may not be the best coach, but I swear to god, Tomsula did a fantastic job cleaning my windshield with a newspaper the other day at an intersection…
He actually painted my fence! And didn’t complain about my blintzes!
His daughter’s deal on apples can’t be beat.
Tony Sparano is on the Niners staff? Did dig up his football and bring it with him?
Watching Cal and UCLA is keeping me awake. Fuck Jim Mora Jr.!
Oh, fun update for those of you who keep track of these things: I’ve been assured that the kid can’t get access to a gun, and that he recanted the threat.
I’ve also been “advised” by administration not to tell my students why we’re meeting in a new classroom and why there will be an armed cop in the hallway.
Oh good. I didn’t want to belittle your initial concerns, but everyone knows it’s practically impossible to get your hands on a gun in the U.S.A.
Yeah, especially for mentally-unbalanced men. You never hear of guys walking into a college classroom and opening fire.
Stay safe, hope you and the kids are okay.
KId can’t even follow through on his threats smgdh,,,
Needs a few misspellings, and that’s a PFTCommenter tweet.
AL U NEED IS A GOODD UY WITH A GUN IN YOURE CLASS DAMN LIBTARD
Putting out the Moose call.
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03095/blondie-spider_3095173a.jpg
Kaepernick is really embracing the SF scene
I’m in!
–Aaron Rogers
Hootie owls pick off purple pirates. (JV football)
What’s everyone drinking this evening?
I got $2.50 Rolling Rock pints
OSZ has Tangible Triumph
I’ve switched over to huffing ether. Again.
Hot Toddies!
BASKETBALL PLAYERS EVERYWHERE TONIGHT IS THIS THE NBA PRESEASON!
Gentlemen.
Snow, man!
MAYBE
Greece.
WHAT THE FUCK?
There’s a giant OPIOD cartoon pill on the TV!
And it’s a commercial for a drug that makes you shit when you take powerful pain meds?
HOLY FUCK!
WHAT A COUNTRY!
Sorry, thought I was hallucinating the cartoon pill with legs.
I can’t believe that’s a real commercial. It looks like an SNL parody.
Well the boomers are getting older and their bodies are deteriorating…christ imagine how much worse these commercials will be in 10-15 years.
The first commercial I see for Narcan, I’m moving to another planet.
Ah yes, the infamous sand dunes at levi’s stadium.
Fozz Household Sick Bay:
Youngest: pink eye
Oldest: severely stressed finger, cold, ADD that won’t stop
Middle: slight concussion, stomach virus
FUCK YOU IN THE FUCKING FUCK PARENTHOOD!
I have three teenaged daughters Fozz.
We know what we put our parents through. Karma is a bitch.
Childless and happy! WOOO!
/and evil, that’s a given
I’ve found a picture of what the turf at Levi’s Stadium will look like in 2020
http://previews.123rf.com/images/federicofoto/federicofoto1304/federicofoto130400226/19021298-muddy-soccer-shoes-of-a-child-player-during-a-football-match-in-a-playing-field-full-of-mud-Stock-Photo.jpg
Jesus that field is terrible. When he kicked it it looked like a land mine went off beneath the ball.
From insurmountable to super-duper insurmountable lead
Go for it! (because I’m bored)