![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Phi @ Car: This game looks like a keeper, don’t it? I see two solid D’s taking on patchwork O’s that get results. I can’t help thinking this will be a close, hard-fought game that ends with me snoring on my sofa because I had three scotches/beers too many. Carolina has a strong pass D and Philly is without Agholor(?) (pronounced “Oh-Ver-Ray-Ted”) and a banged-up Cooper. The Panthers run game is strong but the Eagles D should be up to the task. However Ginn, Cotchery and Funchess constitute a WRBC (wide receiver by committee) that gets things done. Maybe it’s time to take Cam a bit more seriously-he seems to have reined in his worst instincts and put it all together. Also, he does have an Olsen at TE-a guy who no one seems to have an answer for if he’s targeted enough times.
It’s Finally Here-Your Sunday Night Thread
Is this stupid thing really happening?
Did Al just call it a “playcock”?
Anyone notice the Promo Code Voiceover guy in the FanDuel commercials is incredibly awkward?
“Promo Code: Clutch.”
*unsettling silence*
/slightly annoyed tinge in voice “That’s CLUTCH.”
I would love it if the next big scandal involving a player involved JJ Watt.
If there is karma in the universe…
Is there a more obnoxious commercial than the Ford F-150 commercials?
I think the eye pink instead of eye black is my favorite incarnation of the NFL pinkout.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Zach Ertz!
Zach Ertz who?
I got the crotch chiggers so my Zach Ertz!
The fair weather fans out in force tonight!
Everything about Bradford proportionally just seems off…
Like someone made a real person out of wax but left him in the sun a little too long…
I refuse to believe that picture is not photoshopped.
If it is, it ain’t been done by me…
God’s the original photo-shopper.
He looks like one of the candles I had on my nightstand after Isabel hit.
Sandy for me.
Sam Bradford’s photo looks like he was in a meeting with Chip Kelly and someone mentioned Mariota was in the building.
Bradford then called Chip an Indian giver.
EYYYEE see what you did there……….
“This should be very good and very interesting.”
Setting the bar a little high there, aren’t you Al?
Jason Kelce is burly
Wow. Grizzly Adams plays for the Eagles.
I think I claimed he was a bastard child of the Oak Ridge Boys in my preview of all the centers.
If he wasn’t a football player, Jason Kelce would have the world’s largest Fedora collection.
“Riley Cooper, Hang ’em High.”
Why is he so sweaty when they haven’t played the game yet? Is it hot where they’re playing? Did he dump water on his head?
He went to the WWE School of Constant Skin Moisture
It’s in NC, so it’s probably humid.
You get pretty sweaty if you’re warming up properly.
OK, confession time. Triggered by Martin’s pic below. I took my kids to an indoor water park (Great Wolf Lodge) like 7-8 years ago, when they still needed active supervision. They had a body surfing thing, which was really fun. But if you don’t hit it dead center, it wipes you off hard.
And it fucking pantsed me.
The one in PA?
No, VA
I didn’t think so.
The one in PA is my niece’s favorite place on earth.
I once tried to masturbate in every shaft alley of an aircraft carrier during a single 24 hour duty day.
Only made it to 9 times before I realized the chafing would prevent me from being able to climb up the ladders.
Every water slide in the world gives giant wedgies when you hit bottom. Water parks are minefields of wardrobe malfunctions.
Did everybody clear out because they suddenly thought there was a flesh-colored giant eel in the water?
So goddamned lucky that I don;t think anybody for sure saw. I felt it coming and grabbed trou at knee level and had them up within two strides as I bolted to the bar and to tell my then-wife she needed to be on-call until I was sure nobody called to cops on me.
In Williamsburg? We call it Great Rip-Off Lodge in Va.
I’d pay to see that.
Is that gay?
Is Fallon really that bad?
I don’t watch so I don’t know.
He was never not the worst.
Generic monologues, not great interviews and people love his skits/bits with celebs. So it is not terrible but I never go out of my way to watch
One of Conan’s writers criticized him, indirectly, as a “prom king” comedy, I suppose he’s that fun but not really funny type of person. You know, the type palpable to many but unremarkable.
He couldn’t be funny in his Jurassic World cameo and that involved him getting “blown up.”
Nobody actually believed me when I said I was not gonna post pics tonight. I can’t find a stream to watch the pregame so you get a pic
http://40.media.tumblr.com/cb7b407c418074db24c3c6d2d22a4cca/tumblr_nwhj09rcCg1s7cz8xo1_1280.jpg
Sorry if I posted that one before, I know I almost did a couple times but not sure it ever got posted
Sam Bradford Diamond-Phillips
That intro is best viewed on the “Mute” setting.
As is anything with Cris Collinsworth doing the announcing.
I watch 90% of NFL games muted.
Boon Mariage Parfait Oude Gueuze. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.
I love sour beers.
Some people don’t.
Those people just leave more sour beer for me.
I grok you.
Vowel-intensive.
Note to self. If I break into someone’s house to steal beer this week, make it OSZ’s. He’ll probably just assume it’s NSZ anyway.
“DAMN NSZ… waitaminute… NSZ doesn’t wear gingerbread scent… AND HE WOULDN’T HAVE STOLEN MY BABA GANOOJ! ZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMMM!”
Damn! Rumbled again!
The seven-seat Charger.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF A SEVEN-SEAT CHARGER GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
It makes for amazing high school candle-light vigils.
I was just out for a birthday with a bunch of Charger fans, yes they exist up here due to winter vacationing to catch a game. I used floaterception, Laserface among other terms, it was like I was speaking Greek. Greece is good.
We’ve been pretty happy about the country Greece this past week.
Also, why does everyone still think that the Eagles are good and the Panthers aren’t?
This is a silly conversation. There is no favorite in the NFC East.
I threw some random 10-photo collages into the mix when I wanted to clear my Downloads folder a few weeks ago. Plus all the old Sexy Friday sets.
How is everyone in Colorado not fat as fuck addicted to Noosa?
Huh, I still sort of smell like gingerbread from the perfume I was wearing last night. No wonder I’ve been craving sweets all day.
HIDE YO KIDS
THEY RAPIN EVERBODY ROUND HERE
Since when does a 17 year old from Des MOines wear Cinnamon perfume?
Well, it’s Ze Fraulein Doktor. I was suggesting that she’s cooking them.
My house smells like cookies, because I made cookies.
I’m about to smell like sour beer, because I’m about to have a sour beer.
I read somewhere that men are most attracted to the scent of pumpkin pie.
So…maybe that’s what you need to do to step up your game.
Starbucks baristas are SMASHING VAJ during the fall during this rule.
Just checking in real quick. Any of you chef-skilled folks here? GF brought home fillet mignon for me to bbq. High pressure for my ass. Any tips?
Order out.
Boil it
Do it on a super hot grill for about 1 minute a side then finish in a 400 degree oven for 5-7 minutes.
Make sure you let it get to room temperature before you start cooking.
I’m room temperaturing now!
I’m gonna crush this!
I don’t know BBQ, but if doing it in a pan, use all the butter.
You wanna get your RPM on your motor to about 6000. Get that fucking engine block nice and hot for about 30 minutes. Make sure you are blasting music on the stereo and not wearing bottoms.
Throw that fucker on there for 10 minutes each side.
Leave out at room temp, season with salt and pepper just before you’re ready to cook it. Hot fire/pan, let one side sear until it has a nice crust, don’t press down at all, and when it’s ready, flip it over and let it do the same on the other side.
To test doneness, push on the top with your finger. Rare will have lots of give, and then it will get more resistant the more done it gets. I’d honestly just take a filet off once you have a good sear on the top and bottom; it’s quite good rare to medium rare.
What fucking animal eats filet mignon more than medium rare?
I have a friend that rarely eats meat, and he, mistakenly, gets it all well done.
I also ran into some Australians while in France who insisted on well done.
Philistines.
We may be animals but we know how to not ruin a good piece of meat.
#NotAllAustralians
Not Australian, was more of a blanket statement for everyone here, but the concept is the same.
Even dogs be like SEND THAT SHIT BACK
Do not overcook it.
3 mins. a side if less than 1″ thick. I guess that’s two opinions; sorry no tip.
-LeSean McCoy
Sear each side in a cast iron pan.Remove the filet and de-glaze the pan with brandy. Cook that down and add mushrooms, garlic and tarragon. Add heavy cream and stir.
Get pam hot on element, sear 1 min each side then bbq until it feels like touching your chin.
Forehead – Well done
Nose – rare
chin- Mid rare.
Depending on thickness and grill heat 8 mins for mid rare. Then let rest for 5 mins. The sear locks the juices in so it will be great in the middle.
Why is the NBC Sports sideline lady crying during her commentary?
The Patriots play the Dolphins on Thursday. How hilarious of a hangover loss would that be?
Orgasmic
In Draft Knids, I choose Vermicious and you all lose.
It’s never a good idea to run your real football team like a fantasy football team. Sam Bradford was Chip’s sleeper pick.
hey guys
ahoi hoi.
Draft Kings : I pick Charlemagne
Do emperors count?
If so, I’ll take Caligula. Or Nero, if Caligula is off the board.
Henry VIII for me
Cyrus.
CAN YOU DIG IT?
Genghis Khan. Get at me.
B.B.
The original Dog of War for Ghenghis Khan…Subutai.
Fucking 78-0 in battle.
WAYNE GRETZKY
Peter the Great
Larry
Shit of Fuck Mountain
Is Cleopatra still on the board? I prefer my leaders sexy and riddled with VD
King George VI. Chain smoker and hard drinker
Play Draft Kinds…Use Promo Code “THE KIDS DON’T NEED TO GO TO COLLEGE” for 10 free points!
Is anyone else getting duplicate comment errors, or is that just the empanada crumbs I dropped in my keyboard?
No dupe error msg’s. Just seems random where they end up at times.
Yeah, I already posted this below. But that was another instance of the reply system being fuxored and tossing it in anywhere.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AI88RfYayoE/UdCqGY3KZcI/AAAAAAAAQFw/06uS8NmqT2Q/s338/kp10.gif
I need to get me one of them bras.
That would really come in handy at the Golden Corral.
For some reason watching .gifs where Katy Perry simulates sex acts never gets old.
The colts need Dungy back. You have a massive troll as QB, you need that Lord of the Rings little alien dude to tell him what to do.
Its simple science.
Pfft, he’s not young enough for any child molesters to make him an offer for him to say no to.
STORNG TAEK!!!!!1!
Hate to be a windbag, but I have a couple of observations about the early games:
I respect Bridgewater’s attempts to make checkdowns look cool. http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/0ap3000000564898/Vikings-Teddy-Bridgewater-finds-Zach-Line-who-takes-it-49-yards
ALL HAIL LORD DON-SEID!! https://vine.co/v/eVl7M0IQZWX
The Texans deserve everything that happens to them for hiring yet ANOTHER Belichick flunky. Those who don’t learn from history, are doomed to the 1st pick.
Say what you will about the Dungy’s Colts defense, but at least they had an awesome pass rush. http://www.nfl.com/videos/new-orleans-saints/0ap3000000565357/Mark-Ingram-highlights
The worst thing about Indy’s collapse was seeing a Bama alum perform adequately.
Oh. Great. And then I have to suffer through PK and Florio commenting into their MICROSOFT SURFACE BRAND TABLETS about how bad the Chargers were.
Naturally, PK, writer of thousands of words every week has no descriptors to use. Even though that’s how he earns his obscene amount of money.
Somebody get Cosby on the phone; I need a drink.
WEIRD
Ronda Rousey is on Fox. My boner is on the desk.
That’s gotta be a strong desk, then.
THIS DESK! I CALL IT THE RESOLUTE BECAUSE IT CAN HIDE BLOWS FROM EVERYONE BUT KEN STARR.
She’s awesome. I don’t even know why anyone fights her anymore. They should just run into a wall at top speed. It would take about the same amount of time as Ronda winning.
I think they automatically qualify for hazard pay.
Holly Holm is …… not smart.
Dear Los Angeles,
Based on what you saw today, what teams are you most hopeful to have play NFL-caliber football in your town?
How funny would it be in the Patriots unexpectedly moved to LA?
NAWT GONNA HAPPEN!
The convergence of frontrunner fans from both coasts would likely trigger The Big One and we’d finally have Arizona Bay.
I’m all for it.
USC and UCLA. Possibly also Cal State Dominguez Hills.
UC-Riverside
Mater Dei High School
If we all drink enough and hope enough, maybe the racist will get even more injured!
If you believe in karma, chug your drink!
If karma existed, Gillette Stadium would be a smoking crater.
And Jameis Winston would be injured by now. Though my hope is that karma is just saving that for after he craters his career by playing blowfully.
Is it going to be one of “those” open threads?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/07bb9ea8defe397ebc6790ad184c70d0/tumblr_ntnrpydkot1tvs9iro1_500.jpg
/slightly confused penis
I am feeling lazy tonight so I won’t be posting a bunch of pics, but not looking forward to the teams playing tonight so that could change by like the middle of the first. Actually even thinking about watching Philly vs Car is making me feel like I should go find some pics
Eagles and Panthers?
WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN US OH LORD!?!
?w=720&h=405
I hate football, Spring can’t come soon enough. GO SPURS GO!
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