It’s Finally Here-Your Sunday Night Thread

Phi @ Car: This game looks like a keeper, don’t it? I see two solid D’s taking on patchwork O’s that get results. I can’t help thinking this will be a close, hard-fought game that ends with me snoring on my sofa because I had three scotches/beers too many. Carolina has a strong pass D and Philly is without Agholor(?) (pronounced “Oh-Ver-Ray-Ted”) and a banged-up Cooper. The Panthers run game is strong but the Eagles D should be up to the task. However Ginn, Cotchery and Funchess constitute a WRBC (wide receiver by committee) that gets things done. Maybe it’s time to take Cam a bit more seriously-he seems to have reined in his worst instincts and put it all together. Also, he does have an Olsen at TE-a guy who no one seems to have an answer for if he’s targeted enough times.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Ted Ginn’s success is a good way to tell if your defense is a clusterfuck.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/179fde8833681804a7879f1741127432/tumblr_mjguce6u4R1ro8ysbo1_400.gif

Doktor Zymm

If I were a Panthers fan I would go to the liquor store and add another ‘n’ to all the bottles of Gin.

WhyEaglesWhy

All the bottles would fall off the shelf and break.

Martin

This guy Ginn. I call him DDT because he’s rendering the Eagles extinct.

Martin

My apologies.

Doktor Zymm

I would also photoshop a turban onto a picture of Ted Ginn and caption it “Bombay Ginn”

WhyEaglesWhy

Jason Peters is questionable to return like Joe Philbin is questionable to finish the season as Dolphins coach.

Sharkbait

Before today, when was the last time there was a kickoff out of bounds penalty? Let alone 2 in the same day

/Hail Bleerg

King Hippo

Indeed, He is a most jelly God

Sill Bimmons

Was that on purpose?

That looked like it was on purpose.

Romonobyl

Why’s it gotta be ‘Black” Ops?

WCS

It’s the megabucks version of Ops.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Thrown at 4. Completions !. Guy making the graphics has been drinking. Completely understandable.

Martin

Did I ever tell you all about one of my first bosses, and how he was banned from a BBQ joint for abusing their all-you-can-eat deal?

All the fucking Andy Reid jokes, and somehow I don’t think I remember telling that bit. Not that there’s much to say other than, yes, you can be banned from a BBQ joint in the South (D.C. region, anyway).

King Hippo

Anything North of Fredericksburg, VA, is NAWT the South.

Doktor Zymm

It’s true. You can tell because they serve unsweetened tea.

King Hippo

YEP! That is the test.

Martin

Whatever. It sure felt southern to me.

King Hippo

oh, they still do have places designed to feel Southern, no doubt. But that DC area “fuck you” factor is built in! Anyway, please do tell the story.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DC area the south. No no no no no no no no…
A someone who is torn b/w the Balt/wash area and the south…let me assure you that the south don’t start ’till somewhere b/w the Potomac and Richmond. Hippo’s assessment of Fredricksburg is likely the best guesstimate. But even some of those asshole might differ one way or the other.

I always fill up the gas tank in Fredricksburg fwiw though.

Martin

He and a co-worker of his had gone to this place pretty regularly, and I guess after one particularly exorbitant day where they camped out for a few hours, they weren’t allowed to be seated the next time they visited. The restaurant supposedly had the guys’ photos up somewhere, but I don’t know how that worked. I just found it funny because if you looked at me and then those two, you’d assume I was the one not welcome. I didn’t like going there anyway because I was a law student and you can’t take home AYCE leftovers and the plates were expensive for BBQ places.

WhyEaglesWhy

That’s amazing. That’s like getting kicked out of Guns N’ Roses for taking too many drugs.

Doktor Zymm

https://youtu.be/yJfDdd5A8pQ

Fetch Lionel Hutz!

Sill Bimmons

“Do these sound like the actions of a man who had ALL he could eat?”

Brick Meathook

I grew up in Arlington, the Santa Monica of the Eastern Seaboard.

Brick Meathook
Moonbatting Average

Fräulein Dokor raises an interesting point. If one were to do a “mouthtits” Photoshop, which NFL player should get treatment? Eli?

Old School Zero

JJ Watt

Col. Duke LaCross

Suggs. Take something completely horrifying and make it just a little less horrifying.

King Hippo

Jared Lorenzen

WhyEaglesWhy

Incognito.

Doktor Zymm

I second Incognito.

Romonobyl

Wolfman Rob, but that pic probably exists in real life somewhere.

Martin
WCS

Dan Snyder

Martin

Snyder is a walking boob

Doktor Zymm

Do you want to go as Dan Snyder for Halloween?

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Did anyone else hear that?

WhyEaglesWhy

Yep.

JustStopDude

holy shit why is it still 7-0?!? I had to answer a couple of work emails and just got back to the game.

King Hippo

Because a catch isn’t a catch, but the Iggles are still the Iggles.

Sharkbait

I just looked up from watching Ice Giants and was about to ask the same question.

WhyEaglesWhy

I would murder an Olive Garden never ending pasta bowl about now.

Sill Bimmons

There was a place where I went to college that had $2.00 all you can eat pasta. With MEATBALLS.

They raised the price to $2.50 and you’d have thought they killed our mothers.

College students are awful.

Martin

Grad students are even worse about that shit.

King Hippo

Josh Norman, really fucking good at teh footy

WCS

When do we get Chicago: Sewage Department?

Col. Duke LaCross

They play the Chargers on MNF in two weeks.

Romonobyl

CSI: RTA

Old School Zero

Chicago: Jury Selection Waiting Room

Beerguyrob

Chicago Ed. It’ll be written by fifth graders, for fifth graders.

Sill Bimmons
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

HOW IS THAT NOT A SAFETY?!!?

Doktor Zymm

I googled “mouthtits” in case there was a boob version of moutheyes. Nope, just porn.

WhyEaglesWhy

Try “boobeyes”

Doktor Zymm
theeWeeBabySeamus

SFW maybe…but scary nonetheless.
Nightmare fuel.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And that’s a bad thing?
I’m seriously asking, fwiw.

Doktor Zymm

Neither good nor bad. I have plenty of odd notions that the internet allows me to follow up on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha.
That’s a pretty great answer, unexpected, but great.

Martin
Brick Meathook

They both seem like very nice young ladies.

Martin

…. who leave snail trails

King Hippo

Talking about Cam, NBC plays The 1975’s “Chocolate” in the background

I mean, not even with a “no ofence” smgdh

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

WeeBabySeamus mentioning a song got me listening to Stephen Lynch songs I had forgotten existed. I am sure I am not missing anything important with the game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lynch is awesome.
I love Beelz…still makes me laugh every time.

Martin

Not even watching the game. Looking for tits.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Aren’t we all?

Horatio Cornblower

Found some!

They’re, uh, they’re mine.

King Hippo

Horatio, making a Crucial Catch!

Martin

Yes, but I’m also sitting her contemplating a transaction on TER.

King Hippo

I am soooo jelly of your available talent pool to choose from

Martin

Half of me would get more excitement if the escort robbed me.

King Hippo

You could probably request that.

Romonobyl

I’ve usually had good luck starting at the front.

Sill Bimmons

Gonna be tough to find on the Internet bro.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
WhyEaglesWhy

Sam Bradford is going to murder Jordan Matthews in his sleep. Deservedly.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Peanut Tillman: STILL good at football

Doktor Zymm

The Eagles are usually offensive, but everyone’s been attacking Chip Kelly’s offseason moves, so now they’re defensive.

Sharkbait

I dunno, this Eagles offense is sure a shit offending me.

WhyEaglesWhy

The Eagles have had the only two coaches that think throwing on 4th and 1 is a great idea.

King Hippo

God, that NBC pic of Bradford was fucking terrifying

Sharkbait

ALL pictures of Sam Bradford are fucking terrifying

Sharkbait

He looks like a serial killer/low budget superman.

WhyEaglesWhy

He looks like a tech guy who has a startup that loses money and is valued at $5 million.

Sill Bimmons
Brick Meathook

GOOD LORD.

Martin

Nick Frost lost weight!

Lord Joe Don Looney

I heard banjos in the background.

Squeal like a pig!

Doktor Zymm

So….I watched the video again, and it’s a non-contact injury for sure. How does someone get a back injury that way? The only thing I can thing of, they mentioned he had a quad injury earlier, so maybe his hamstrings and lower back tightened up to compensate, and something just gave?

Sill Bimmons

That did not look at all like a back injury.

Horatio Cornblower

I would guess sudden back spasms from a lifetime of being 300+ lbs. and getting whaled on by other 300+ lb. men.

Either that or someone shot him.

litre_cola

I believe Ray Carruth had something to do with it. I would check the trunk.

Sill Bimmons

INVISIBLE CATTLE PROD

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Stadium sniper. NFL Security is trying to keep it quiet so the fans don’t get spooked

Romonobyl

Let me guess…Lilly?

Sill Bimmons

vvv

Brick Meathook

I just had an innocuous comment “awaiting moderation.” WTF? Who’s moderating this?

I’m Brick Meathook, that’s who! I made my bones while you were dating cheerleaders!

/please approve me, sir

King Hippo

DONE!

/no idea why that got flagged into limbo

Brick Meathook

dang computers

Romonobyl

A lower back injury? Well that’ll ruin a weekend.

/Aaron Rodgers

WhyEaglesWhy

He’d rather have that than a shaved beard.

Sill Bimmons

Damn, a back issue might be even worse than the Achilles if it was enough to knock him off his feet like that.

WhyEaglesWhy

Lower back issue is possibly better than Achilles.

Horatio Cornblower

I believe that the medical term for what happened to Peters is, and I’ll defer to Sill on this, is that his back done got fucked up.

bourb0nblues

Nice to hear it was not his Achilles Last Stand

tundrajim

My insurance doesn’t cover my teenage daughter making out with a local hooligan? I’m going to have a talk with my agent!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m going to have to talk to your teenage daug…

Oh hai Chris Hansen!

WhyEaglesWhy

The Panthers and the Raiders are the only two teams that look okay with all the Pinktober shit.

Col. Duke LaCross

I thought Pinktober was done. Is there an opt-out date or something?

WCS

“Aren’t things great when you’re white?”

— Corona commercials

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently not the beer.

Romonobyl

Hey, some of my best friends are white!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Horatio Cornblower

The skin that she’s dwellin’ in/
Must contain melanin

Holy shit that was hilarious.

Sharkbait

“They sure are!”
-Riley Cooper

WhyEaglesWhy

I just looked up and was genuinely surprised it’s only 7-0.

Horatio Cornblower

He can’t be black, he’s from Chile!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

In his defense, fried chicken is awesome.
But watermelon is fucking overrated.

Sill Bimmons

WHITE GUY COULDN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO SELL FRIED CHICKEN

Martin

The actor is also half Italian.

WhyEaglesWhy

“I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”

– WIP

WhyEaglesWhy

Haha, they’d never be silenced.

WCS

Banner KOTW

Doktor Zymm

A friend of mine had his Achilles just snap while he was walking. He said it felt like being hit in the back of the ankle with a baseball bat. That blows.

WhyEaglesWhy

My dad had one while playing basketball, he said it felt like someone kicked him as hard as they could in the heel.

Sharkbait

I’ve had mine lengthened after it got caught up in scar tissue. Achilles surgery sucks all of the dicks.

Romonobyl

I once cut my pikie toenail too short and it hurt all morning, so I can clearly relate.

Romonobyl

pinkie…whatever happened to the edit button?

Sharkbait

Uproxx got full custody of the edit button in the divorce.

Doktor Zymm

I just assumed you had one toenail that was an Irish gypsy.

Brick Meathook

I don’t like my shoes.

WhyEaglesWhy

Matt Tobin at LT. Free sacks!

blackroseMD1

I just spent an entire week eating sloppy joes for every meal.

How the hell am I still alive at this point?

Romonobyl

meh…

/every Colts fan ever.

Sill Bimmons

Your body can turn Cheez Whiz on pork rinds into living human flesh.

It’s a pretty amazing machine.

Beerguyrob

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

That high-pitched whistle-scream you heard on that play was Sam Bradford’s knees crying out in terror

Sill Bimmons

That genuinely sucks, Eagles fans.

It’s no fun watching players you don’t hate get badly injured.

litre_cola

Honestly thought the D could carry until crosseyed Bradford could figure it out. Without Peters, it is likely impossible.

Romonobyl

QUIT SLAPPING MY DAMN LEG GUYS!!!!

JustStopDude

That’s got to be a really weird feeling for Bradford…seeing someone else getting placed onto a cart.

WhyEaglesWhy

I’ve seen good, and this ain’t it.