It’s Your Monday Nighter Open Thread!

I don’t know how we did it. We watched a quadruple-header yesterday and there are no urine stains on the sofa. Not only that, but we’re back to watch this. I don’t use the word “heroes” very often but damnit!, we are heroes. We’ve slogged through some lousy ref calls, brain-meltingly bad throws by QB’s, shortages of beer, the nagging of significant others, carb-heavy food choices, glasses of scotch that refuse to remain full, mystifying third down play calls, kids demanding to be fed, half-hour late delivery guys and fridges/bathrooms that are much farther away from the tv than they should be. How did we do it? I don’t know-it’s a question for the ages…

Bal @ Ari: The spread here is boysenberry and ten. The Ravens are 0-5-1 against both. They are the masters of squeaking out the close loss-they’ve  done it by 6, 4, 4, 3 and 5 for an average of 4.4. Where did the .4 come from? I’m no mathemagician, but I’m guessing a failed on-side kick or a shared sack or some such. I’d just like to say a little something about Mr. Chris Johnson. The guy is 30 years old and was an afterthought when he was signed by the Cards-Ellington was the lead guy and there was this rook stud by the name of David Johnson in the wings just biding his time until he took over. CJ was done-that blazing Cop Speed that his game was predicated on was long gone. He’s not the back that can hit a home run at any given time any more because he changed his style. At 203 pounds he’s taking a pounding running up the middle. I just can’t see a similar back, say Jamaal Charles, doing the same thing at 30. Why? Because he’ll be out for the season with an injury that year as well. Well done, Chris.

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MikeWallaceAndGromit

Tom Pratt is an extra on The Walking Dead.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Did they redo the pilot of Supergirl or is the one that aired tonight that same one they leaked 5 months ago?

litre_cola

Def Leppard eh? Interesting choice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
makeitsnowondem

I’ve never cared about the Bengals and watching the von Oelhoffen hit still makes me want to cry.

King Hippo

Yeah, I almost puked watching live. That was really fucking gross.

makeitsnowondem

I was so mad seeing it live. No chance the Steelers win that game without Palmer getting hurt.

blordinaryfagicmox

KvO, an ex-Bengal playing for a defense coached by Dick Lebeau, an ex-Bengal coach. The pass was completed to Chris Henry, they made sure he wasn’t around to talk about it for very long.,,,

MikeWallaceAndGromit

THIS RAVENS DEFENSE I CALL IT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH BECAUSE THEY’RE LETTING CARDINALS EXPLOIT ANY HOLES THEY SEE FIT.

makeitsnowondem

Cardinals are doing everything they can think of to slow down Dumervil, but there’s one thing they haven’t tried yet.

They’ve got to send him a fax.

John Difool

THIS RAVENS DEFENSE I CALL EM’ CATHOLIC ALTAR BOY, ‘CAUSE THATS HOW HARD THE CARDINALS ARE HITTING THEM

Moonbatting Average

That’s good hustle (like button broken as usual)

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Sonovabitch, beat me by seconds.

John Difool

I liked yours better.

Mother Puncher

Is it racist that I can’t tell Arizona’s running backs apart?

Moonbatting Average

Johnson-ist maybe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Racist? No. But it means you’re a bad businessman.”

– Jerry Richardson

Croooow

I need just one Fitzgerald catch to win my matchup. Is that too much to ask?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

There you go

Croooow

Wooooo!

litre_cola

Boom goes the dynamite.

Moonbatting Average

Dan Pees. Rex Poops

Mother Puncher

Esteban is Bill Belichick’s Duke Silver persona.

Col. Duke LaCross

I didn’t know he actually played. I just know him from selling cheap guitars and instructional videos on infomercials at 2:00 AM.

Sharkbait

Arts and crafts Tony Romo definitely has people under the floorboards.

blordinaryfagicmox

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jjfozz

What would you rather overthrow – ISIS or ESPN?

entropy

ESPN… They have a weapon of mass destruction in Berman, and must be stopped.

Mother Puncher

ISIS manages to produce better online content.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I’ll just overthrow both –PeyPey

blordinaryfagicmox

Zombie Reagan needs more brains to trickle down his throat.
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blordinaryfagicmox

Not if Worm-Jefferson has anything to say about it!
http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mbcm04gUu51SUnuqHvHIpCg.jpg

Doktor Zymm

Forward progress :
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Sharkbait

*Domestic violence PSA*

NFL hurredly shoves Greg Hardy into a corner

entropy

That entire PSA should have been Gay wailing on Hardy with an axe handle screaming “IT’S WRONG TO BEAT WOMEN PIGFUCKER!!!!”

litre_cola

Yahoo keeps telling me about fantasy basketball. I am incredibly disinterested as I know nothing about this sport. If only there was a 1 day fantasy company where I could win millions with my rudimentary knowledge of the game.

Col. Duke LaCross

Promo code: PointsShaving

jjfozz

got nothing
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entropy

Boob sweat. After an exhaustive investigation, I can confirm the woman in this photo has boob sweat. So you’ve got that going for you.

Col. Duke LaCross
Doktor Zymm

I need roughly 100 points from the Arizona D and kicker combined. 30+ field goals is looking more and more likely.

Moonbatting Average

THIS GAME I CALL IT 2009 BECAUSE CHRIS JOHNSON IS GOING TO WIN SOME PEOPLE THEIR FANTASY GAMES

King Hippo

And to think I was really fucking embarrassed to desperately pluck him from the waiver wire when I did. But it was a 14-team league with 20-man rosters and my backs were shit.

blackroseMD1

That “not down” run by CJ2K just won me my fantasy game this week against a guy who was projected to score a lot more points than me.

Awesome.

King Hippo

HUZZAH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think they should be REALLY liberal declaring that “forward progress has stopped” in these idiotic rollover situations.

entropy

I loved every part of that play, from the non-tackle to Harbaugh’s sissy bitch whining afterward.

Doktor Zymm

The rarely seen ground and defender assisted spin move!

Redshirt

Forward momentum? What forward momentum?

blordinaryfagicmox

The refs knew his position so well they couldn’t tell if he’d stopped moving.

makeitsnowondem

I’ve said it many times, but I fucking love Carson Palmer.

King Hippo

INSUFFICIENT cop speed. One too many doughnuts.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

HAHAHAHAHAHA

King Hippo

“And Gresham makes ’em pay”

That’s how you know you REALLY have a shitty fucking defense.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hmm, I wonder if this Gresham fellow is looking for employment…”

– Warren Sapp’s creditors

blordinaryfagicmox

May the force be with you and your ring.
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Redshirt

You mixed Star Trek and Star Wars you fool!

(runs to Fan War Bunker)

blordinaryfagicmox

Jordie is still a Lt. Commander? It’s an outrage he hasn’t been promoted to kwisatz haderach yet.

litre_cola

He is the cool uncle that got Big Ben the roofies.

-This’ll put em to sleep big guy, dont tell pops.

jjfozz

THIS MARK TRESTMAN, I CALL HIM JESUS CHRIST, BECAUSE HE’S GOT 11 GUYS ON HIS SIDE WHO ARE GONNA WIND UP GETTING HIM CRUCIFIED

entropy

Connor Bradshaw… found football, and now he steals everyone’s chips as they fly through the lunch room.

Redshirt

Josh McCown: “Hold on a minute! You allowed to stop before you hit the stands?!”

King Hippo

He needs cheerleaders to hold up signs, like Forrest Gump did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The link that says “Older Comments” does not necessarily mean more mature comments.

Old School Zero

No CILFs?

Doktor Zymm

So our comments DON’T age like a fine wine? What about stinky cheese, do they age like stinky cheese?

Moonbatting Average

Like Fromunda Cheese

Brocky

Also, evening all, how has this fine last weekend that you can realistically put off raking leaves?

Sharkbait

Is that…flaming chainsaw hands Hitler?

jjfozz

i’m amazed at all the apologizing gruden has done for flacco tonight.

don’t elite players make do with what they have and put the team on their back and win?

or am i drunk?

Sharkbait

Yes.

entropy

Why not both?

King Hippo

Good thing Elway is bridled or he’d really be causing a ruckus about it.

John Difool

With all the comparison’s to Lott, Gruden’s gonna end up coaxing Matthews into cutting off a perfectly good digit before this games over just for the fuck of it.

Redshirt

“He wears #20 but he’s really a Linebacker.”

Yes, Jon. We call that a “Strong Safety”.

King Hippo

How does he get “Buck” out of “Javorious?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You answered your own question.

Brocky

So I’m looking at espn, and I see Arizona defense is getting credited for a fumble recovery.

Has a kick return team always gotten credit for recovering their own fumbles or is that something that gets adjusted post game?

jjfozz

THIS JOE FLACCO, I CALL HIM A TRUST FUND BRAT, BECAUSE HE HAS A LOT OF MONEY AND ALL HE DOES IS FUCK SHIT UP

entropy

Just start a Drunk Jon Gruden Twitter account for these

Col. Duke LaCross

These never get old!

entropy

Ronde Barber, also known as the only player to punch a ref and NOT get ejected because he was aiming for a Jets player at the time.

jjfozz

THESE RAVENS I CALL THEM DRIED OUT COW SHIT, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE FIELD, THEY AREN’T DOING ANYBODY ANY GOOD

The Maestro

NO THANK YOU

Old School Zero

Oh my god I love this

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I always thought of Harrison more like any NO receiver for the last 10 years. Yeah, they put up good numbers but only because of the QB and are replaceable.