I don’t know how we did it. We watched a quadruple-header yesterday and there are no urine stains on the sofa. Not only that, but we’re back to watch this. I don’t use the word “heroes” very often but damnit!, we are heroes. We’ve slogged through some lousy ref calls, brain-meltingly bad throws by QB’s, shortages of beer, the nagging of significant others, carb-heavy food choices, glasses of scotch that refuse to remain full, mystifying third down play calls, kids demanding to be fed, half-hour late delivery guys and fridges/bathrooms that are much farther away from the tv than they should be. How did we do it? I don’t know-it’s a question for the ages…
Bal @ Ari: The spread here is boysenberry and ten. The Ravens are 0-5-1 against both. They are the masters of squeaking out the close loss-they’ve done it by 6, 4, 4, 3 and 5 for an average of 4.4. Where did the .4 come from? I’m no mathemagician, but I’m guessing a failed on-side kick or a shared sack or some such. I’d just like to say a little something about Mr. Chris Johnson. The guy is 30 years old and was an afterthought when he was signed by the Cards-Ellington was the lead guy and there was this rook stud by the name of David Johnson in the wings just biding his time until he took over. CJ was done-that blazing Cop Speed that his game was predicated on was long gone. He’s not the back that can hit a home run at any given time any more because he changed his style. At 203 pounds he’s taking a pounding running up the middle. I just can’t see a similar back, say Jamaal Charles, doing the same thing at 30. Why? Because he’ll be out for the season with an injury that year as well. Well done, Chris.
Tom Pratt is an extra on The Walking Dead.
Did they redo the pilot of Supergirl or is the one that aired tonight that same one they leaked 5 months ago?
Def Leppard eh? Interesting choice.
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I’ve never cared about the Bengals and watching the von Oelhoffen hit still makes me want to cry.
Yeah, I almost puked watching live. That was really fucking gross.
I was so mad seeing it live. No chance the Steelers win that game without Palmer getting hurt.
KvO, an ex-Bengal playing for a defense coached by Dick Lebeau, an ex-Bengal coach. The pass was completed to Chris Henry, they made sure he wasn’t around to talk about it for very long.,,,
THIS RAVENS DEFENSE I CALL IT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH BECAUSE THEY’RE LETTING CARDINALS EXPLOIT ANY HOLES THEY SEE FIT.
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Cardinals are doing everything they can think of to slow down Dumervil, but there’s one thing they haven’t tried yet.
They’ve got to send him a fax.
THIS RAVENS DEFENSE I CALL EM’ CATHOLIC ALTAR BOY, ‘CAUSE THATS HOW HARD THE CARDINALS ARE HITTING THEM
That’s good hustle (like button broken as usual)
Sonovabitch, beat me by seconds.
I liked yours better.
Is it racist that I can’t tell Arizona’s running backs apart?
Johnson-ist maybe
“Racist? No. But it means you’re a bad businessman.”
– Jerry Richardson
I need just one Fitzgerald catch to win my matchup. Is that too much to ask?
There you go
Wooooo!
Boom goes the dynamite.
Dan Pees. Rex Poops
Esteban is Bill Belichick’s Duke Silver persona.
I didn’t know he actually played. I just know him from selling cheap guitars and instructional videos on infomercials at 2:00 AM.
Arts and crafts Tony Romo definitely has people under the floorboards.
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What would you rather overthrow – ISIS or ESPN?
ESPN… They have a weapon of mass destruction in Berman, and must be stopped.
ISIS manages to produce better online content.
I’ll just overthrow both –PeyPey
Zombie Reagan needs more brains to trickle down his throat.
Not if Worm-Jefferson has anything to say about it!
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Forward progress :
*Domestic violence PSA*
NFL hurredly shoves Greg Hardy into a corner
That entire PSA should have been Gay wailing on Hardy with an axe handle screaming “IT’S WRONG TO BEAT WOMEN PIGFUCKER!!!!”
Yahoo keeps telling me about fantasy basketball. I am incredibly disinterested as I know nothing about this sport. If only there was a 1 day fantasy company where I could win millions with my rudimentary knowledge of the game.
Promo code: PointsShaving
got nothing
Boob sweat. After an exhaustive investigation, I can confirm the woman in this photo has boob sweat. So you’ve got that going for you.
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I need roughly 100 points from the Arizona D and kicker combined. 30+ field goals is looking more and more likely.
THIS GAME I CALL IT 2009 BECAUSE CHRIS JOHNSON IS GOING TO WIN SOME PEOPLE THEIR FANTASY GAMES
And to think I was really fucking embarrassed to desperately pluck him from the waiver wire when I did. But it was a 14-team league with 20-man rosters and my backs were shit.
That “not down” run by CJ2K just won me my fantasy game this week against a guy who was projected to score a lot more points than me.
Awesome.
HUZZAH!
I think they should be REALLY liberal declaring that “forward progress has stopped” in these idiotic rollover situations.
I loved every part of that play, from the non-tackle to Harbaugh’s sissy bitch whining afterward.
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The rarely seen ground and defender assisted spin move!
Forward momentum? What forward momentum?
The refs knew his position so well they couldn’t tell if he’d stopped moving.
I’ve said it many times, but I fucking love Carson Palmer.
INSUFFICIENT cop speed. One too many doughnuts.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
“And Gresham makes ’em pay”
That’s how you know you REALLY have a shitty fucking defense.
“Hmm, I wonder if this Gresham fellow is looking for employment…”
– Warren Sapp’s creditors
May the force be with you and your ring.
You mixed Star Trek and Star Wars you fool!
(runs to Fan War Bunker)
Jordie is still a Lt. Commander? It’s an outrage he hasn’t been promoted to kwisatz haderach yet.
He is the cool uncle that got Big Ben the roofies.
-This’ll put em to sleep big guy, dont tell pops.
THIS MARK TRESTMAN, I CALL HIM JESUS CHRIST, BECAUSE HE’S GOT 11 GUYS ON HIS SIDE WHO ARE GONNA WIND UP GETTING HIM CRUCIFIED
Connor Bradshaw… found football, and now he steals everyone’s chips as they fly through the lunch room.
Josh McCown: “Hold on a minute! You allowed to stop before you hit the stands?!”
He needs cheerleaders to hold up signs, like Forrest Gump did.
The link that says “Older Comments” does not necessarily mean more mature comments.
No CILFs?
So our comments DON’T age like a fine wine? What about stinky cheese, do they age like stinky cheese?
Like Fromunda Cheese
Also, evening all, how has this fine last weekend that you can realistically put off raking leaves?
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Is that…flaming chainsaw hands Hitler?
i’m amazed at all the apologizing gruden has done for flacco tonight.
don’t elite players make do with what they have and put the team on their back and win?
or am i drunk?
Yes.
Why not both?
Good thing Elway is bridled or he’d really be causing a ruckus about it.
With all the comparison’s to Lott, Gruden’s gonna end up coaxing Matthews into cutting off a perfectly good digit before this games over just for the fuck of it.
“He wears #20 but he’s really a Linebacker.”
Yes, Jon. We call that a “Strong Safety”.
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How does he get “Buck” out of “Javorious?”
You answered your own question.
So I’m looking at espn, and I see Arizona defense is getting credited for a fumble recovery.
Has a kick return team always gotten credit for recovering their own fumbles or is that something that gets adjusted post game?
THIS JOE FLACCO, I CALL HIM A TRUST FUND BRAT, BECAUSE HE HAS A LOT OF MONEY AND ALL HE DOES IS FUCK SHIT UP
Just start a Drunk Jon Gruden Twitter account for these
These never get old!
Ronde Barber, also known as the only player to punch a ref and NOT get ejected because he was aiming for a Jets player at the time.
THESE RAVENS I CALL THEM DRIED OUT COW SHIT, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE FIELD, THEY AREN’T DOING ANYBODY ANY GOOD
WOULD YOU LIKE A BREATH MINT
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NO THANK YOU
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Oh my god I love this
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I always thought of Harrison more like any NO receiver for the last 10 years. Yeah, they put up good numbers but only because of the QB and are replaceable.