Mia @ NE: Hope. I remember when I felt that. It was quite a long time ago but then a marriage and kids came along and it all came crashing down. The Dolphins and their dozens of fans are feeling that very same thing right now. Don’t tell them that Brady has never lost at home to them. Don’t tell them that Brady has had his biggest games TD-wise and yards-wise against them. It wouldn’t be right. Let them enjoy the fact that they crushed two lousy teams like pretty much everyone else has. You know what my doctor tells me when I’m under the weather?-“take one Texans and one Titans and I guarantee you’ll feel better immediately”. Tannehill, Miller and Campbell are getting ball-washed in the media but there’s the small matter of Cameron Wake that must be addressed. He’d been limping through the season with a hamstring pull and finally got better during the bye week. This has resulted in him collapsing his side of the line and grabbing 6 sacks in those last two victories. On the New England side of things RB Lewis is expected to play and the Pats are expected to win. Big. Look, it’s always nice to see a team get up off the dirt and start hitting back but after this game the Fins get the Bills and the Eagles on the road and a Romo-full Cowboys team at home. Welcome back to Mudville, Miami.
I’ve been really productive and useful this week, but one thing I haven’t managed to get done is hook up my new ice machine. Which means I have no ice. Which means my drink is warm. Dammit.
Liquor bottles + freezer = cold
See, I can science, too.
I’m not putting dark liquors in the freezer. That way madness lies. It’s good enough stuff it’s not bad at room temp, it would just be better with a couple ice cubes.
Also, if I had space in my freezer for a liquor bottle, I would have space for an ice cube tray.
Ice is for GLOREE BOYS! Are you a GLOREE BOY?
TANNICEPTION
4-3 Ice Stillers and Bills now.
Go Ice Bills.
Just saw a Coke ad.
Running to the new bodega across the street to get a Mexican Coke in a glass bottle and all will be well.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5vpryKZ921qd8br9o1_500.jpg
Literally the only thing stopping me from going back to Halo 5 at this point is that the controller is way over there.
Is it worth buying?
How good is it?
I have had a video game system since Xbox and the original Halo. I played the shit out of that out to sea.
Actually, I just got it today and only got through the first couple missions on heroic. I mostly bought it for Master Chief vs. Spartan Malcolm Reynolds. Haven’t dipped into the multiplayer yet.
Legendary or GTFO
Honestly, heroic feels considerably easier than it used to. Of course, it could also be the forty unnecessary abilities they give the characters in Halo these days. Back in my day, Master Chief was the Jason Voorhees to the Covenant’s sinful teenager.
“We don’t want the people who need to use this technology to know too much about it. So, don’t include that resource website on the information sheet.”
Sometimes I want to kill the fuck out of upper management dipshits.
YOU TOUCHED TOM BRADY! OFF TO THE HOUSE OF PAIN FOR YOU
Quite pleased with the results of my missus’ brother’s weed banana bread. Delicious with that special je ne sais quoi.
Down to seeds and stems over here.
man, that would hit the spot
I got a local guy that makes banana moonshine. Holy shit is it good.
You just fucking want to kill yourself the next morning.
I’m still pissed off about the debate last night and I need to turn down.
Why would you do that to yourself?
It’s ok, man. Hillary got this.
/amazed that by comparison I am so enthused about President Hilly-Bob
Vote for KODOS
goddamnit, Miami and Pitt. You each had ONE JOB
Not over for Pitt just yet.
If they score on this drive they get it within one score.
That Lexus commercial was the epitome of shitbag yuppies
Just wait. It’s almost time for the ads where people give them out as christmas presents.
With big bows!
Every day for breakfast, Bob Kraft eats a baby unicorn that has been served with a fresh dinosaur egg that was brought in from another dimension.
Ahem…
That’s MISTER Kraft eats a baby unicorn that has been served with a fresh dinosaur egg that was brought in from another dimension.
Show some respect.
Dear god Gray…that was epic!
Wow, I’ve got all of the side effects of Lyrica without ever having used it!
MAYBE LYRICA CAN HELP!
JV Stillers back within 10.
THESE DOLPHINS, I CALL IT ME STUDYING FOR A MIDTERM IN A CLASS I NEVER ATTENDED, BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW ITS GOING TO END WITH US FAILING
Edelman endorses Puma. That’s just extra douchey with a cherry on top.
Maybe save the “snow day” commercial for when it’s actually snowing in most of the country? And am I supposed to know who these fucks are?
I’m doing laundry. I went like 8 years without a washer and dryer. I don’t know how I did that.
Out of all the shit I use every day, I think I would give up my washer and dryer last. I’d give up the phone, computer, fucking tv….pretty much everything.
I also think I live a sad life that I am thinking about this.
Dishwasher for me. Once you have it I would never give it up. Mine broke for 5 months, it was crushing. I could live with a toaster oven, dishwasher.
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2015/08/02/635741271358435354489708492_nph%20laundry.gif
The 8 days after Sandy taught me I could live without anything electrical but an iPad.
TEN. HOUR. BATTERY.
I hope all those women signed releases before they appeared in an advertisement with THE BEN.
Ice Bombers score. Beating Ice Bears 2-1.
DAHKIES NEVAH PLAY IN SNOW. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Charles Woodson disagrees:
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/article/media_slots/photos/000/775/572/tuckrule_original.gif?1363860393
If Matthews had made at least a token attempt at catching that ball, he might’ve gotten a flag.
This game is so sad, I was watching Simpsons from 2004.
That foghorn noise on third downs makes the IN-COM-PLETE chant in Denver seem charming
Its the Bruins goal horn which makes it worse.
And yet par for the course.
I refuse to believe Supergirl is the #1 show in the country
MURKA FUCK YEAH
I was surprised at how not terrible it was.
Its CBS. Whatever crap they dump on Amrica is guaranteed to be at least #2.
Well, we know Jeb! watched.
You mean it surpassed everyones favorite, Big Bang Theory. Colour me shocked.
Sad bazinga.
The Good Dinosaur looks real bad
I literally would not cross the street to get a free Subway sandwich.
But stand in line to personally punch Jared, yep I would pay for that. Only down side is that you would get that Subway smell on you
I dont want to see any ads your company posts online subway!
All these unlikely deaths by fire, and the episode doesn’t include that time Rick Perry murdered Cameron Todd Willingham because Willingham’s kids died in an accidental fire.
Can we have Suh kick Edelman so hard in the nuts that his foreskin magically reappears?
Mazel tov?
Vot lezam!
Did anyone actually see Pixels?
Adam Sandler’s parents, but, they were forced at gunpoint.
After sitting through Jack and Jill, a pointed gun doesn’t even register.
You did if you saw Wreck It Ralph.
Im pretty sure that’s used as torture in some secret C.I.A Prison
Only in Japanese porn, or so I’m told.
When I chop up and snort my pills…oh wait…I thought you said “Pixies”…
The security guard behind the goal post never flinched throughout that safety.
Dolphins are on the take I see. Either that or they suck
BUT COOOCH CAMPBAWL LAID DOWN DA LAW
Fellow Degenerates.
Year of the Safety?
First it herps, then it derps.
THESE DOLPHINS I CALL THEM LED ZEPPLIN BECAUSE THEY GOT A COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
Yeah, that’s why I had no issues starting New England over Denver. Stupid, stupid Dolphins.
Goddamn it. I hate the NFL.
How could a man with such a wonderful name be so terrible at the footballing?
http://s.ecrater.com/stores/28151/4f3798d75f285_28151b.jpg
Keenan and Peele aren’t even trying at this point.
DFO – I bid you all a good evening. I also have a confession.
Even though I claim strong bloodlines to Italy and Sicily, I absolutely loathe chicken cacciatore.
That’s because it’s Americanized garbage like Chop Suey, right?
My immigrant grandma made it when I was just a little kid, and I hated it then.
But then again, she made eggs in spinach with hot bread and it tasted like heaven.
My Ukrainian mom made it when I was little.
I hated it then and haven’t had it since.
I served with a dude that was born and raised in Mexico City. He actually got picked up one time by Norfolk PD as an illegal alien (you want to talk about a fucking criminal police force, read up on those fuckers).
He could not stand tomatoes, onions, and avocados. Basically he hated Mexican food.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RZxbKvD1YQ#t=16s
These Sportslocks commercials probably aren’t working as expected. Every time I think of them, I imagine a dude fucking a goat.
I volunteered for an assignment in the Netherlands for two weeks.
Got told no…as I twitch too much and I can’t get my speech under control (I look and sound like I am having a stroke/seizure).
Sounded like it would have been fun. Instead, I get told I am doing a month in Detroit instead. I point out that I wasn’t allowed to go to the Netherlands because I was so twitchy. Boss says that I have to fly to the Netherlands and he doesn’t want me getting stopped at security.
“I got to..got to…f…f.f.ffuckn…fly to D…d…d.d.d.d.d.d DETROIT!”
“Nah…you can drive there”….its a fucking 12 hour drive one way.
Dutch and Detroit both begin with “D” so, there’s that…?
Yeah it was real fun this week doing training. It only took me about 15 minutes to get out my name and what we were covering for the next four days.
“And and and…fe..fe.. feel free to crack joke crack joke crack jokes about my speech. Keep in mmmm mmm mind…you ff ff ff f fffucks are paying $1500 a piece to h…h…he…put up with my shit!”
Got a bunch of laughs from that.
I hear Jerome Bettis is from Detroit. So there is that too…
I’m so so sorry.
I spent my week of Thanksgiving vacation working in Detroit rebuilding a bunch of drives a customer blew up.
Ended up eating Thanksgiving dinner in a fucking soup kitchen.
So this is odd, but I really hate the fact both Ohio teams have so much orange in their uniforms.
Paul Brown was a few crayons short of a full pack, apparently.
Hey, I missed most of the first quarter, but it’s not 53-0 yet! Sweeeeeet.
It actually is 53-0, but the Dolphins have a 46 point handicap
Did Brady just audible to “Gold Cougar” ?
http://i.imgur.com/UcmGXSv.jpg
I get the overall design, but the upside down “miami dolphins” confuses me.
AQUAFRESH DOLPHIN POWER
Currently watching an Unsolved Mysteries episode about spontaneous human combustion. This shit is the biochemical equivalent of trickle-down economics.
Is that like how the rich won’t piss on us if we’re on fire?
West Virginia quarterback Skyler Howard is a proud graduate of the Rex Grossman Football Academy.