It’s Your “Hope She’s Not A Blow-Out” Fins/Pats Thread

Mia @ NE: Hope. I remember when I felt that. It was quite a long time ago but then a marriage and kids came along and it all came crashing down. The Dolphins and their dozens of fans are feeling that very same thing right now. Don’t tell them that Brady has never lost at home to them. Don’t tell them that Brady has had his biggest games TD-wise and yards-wise against them. It wouldn’t be right. Let them enjoy the fact that they crushed two lousy teams like pretty much everyone else has. You know what my doctor tells me when I’m under the weather?-“take one Texans and one Titans and I guarantee you’ll feel better immediately”. Tannehill, Miller and Campbell are getting ball-washed in the media but there’s the small matter of Cameron Wake that must be addressed. He’d been limping through the season with a hamstring pull and finally got better during the bye week. This has resulted in him collapsing his side of the line and grabbing 6 sacks in those last two victories. On the New England side of things RB Lewis is expected to play and the Pats are expected to win. Big. Look, it’s always nice to see a team get up off the dirt and start hitting back but after this game the Fins get the Bills and the Eagles on the road and a Romo-full Cowboys team at home. Welcome back to Mudville, Miami.

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Brick Meathook
theeWeeBabySeamus
Doktor Zymm

Oh. Joy. There is a local news feature about “making a living playing fantasy football” on tonight. Would it be quicker to find the remote, or just gouge out my eyeballs and stuff them in my earholes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DRAFTKINGS! FANDUEL! USURY! MILLIONS! COCKNUGGETS!

Sharkbait

Is it presented by FanKings?

Doktor Zymm

They can’t figure out how to work velcro and wear a flesh toned strapless bra?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Break into her house….. and draw nipples on all her bras.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m seriously doubting it.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Do you even parkour, bro?

http://thefw.com/files/2013/06/parkour.gif

Doktor Zymm

Garappolo is a good man to have on your team if you have a surplus of the letter ‘o’ in your jersey letter bin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In beer news, I tried this concoction while out in Boulder this week: http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/30/62449/

Holy balls, it smelled and tasted more of rum than beer. That is not a compliment.

Sill Bimmons

That is the most Townsville thing possible.

Worst place in Oz by a significant margin.

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

Flag, leading with the head.

Brick Meathook

By the looks of the door, it was his second try.

Sill Bimmons

As impressive as that delivery is, I find the windup even more so.

blordinaryfagicmox

FINALLY, the handsome qb is in for the pats.

Doktor Zymm

My coworker has a picture of Garroppollooo posted on her cube wall.

blordinaryfagicmox

I ship Jimmy Garropolo-Janeane Garofalo
JG-JG

JustStopDude

You have to wonder…”How was that suppose to go right?”

JustStopDude

comment image?w=555&h=329

Doktor Zymm

The last time this many Patriots were blown was at a Philadelphia brothel in 1776

Sharkbait

Fuck you CenturyLink. Your network sucks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Vince Wilfork would have sacked him.

Senor Weaselo

BONK.

Sharkbait

Of course that exists

Brick Meathook
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Got back from dinner and turned the game on….thar she blows

makeitsnowondem

I watch Tannehill throwing twenty yards downfield and hitting a receiver in stride and I realize that Joe Philbin, fired though he may have been, is still out there somewhere calling wide receiver screens.

makeitsnowondem

And then I watch him overthrow Stills in the end zone and pray that Jeb Bush’s fantasy team will finish 7-7.

I really need a Patriots Schandenfreude day, I hope PeyPey does it while wearing a head brace

Doktor Zymm

This game I call it tedious, because that is an appropriate adjective.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, Cincy-Cleveland next week so

/shoots self

WCS

Tannehill can’t wait to blame the scout team for this.

Senor Weaselo

Chadwick reference, DRINK.

Sill Bimmons

Thanks for another scintillating Thursday night matchup NFL!

JustStopDude
Mother Puncher

I bet Jeb! goes 7-1 this week.

Mother Puncher

Should have got a shark.

JustStopDude

Or at least a Killer Whale…

Sill Bimmons
JustStopDude

I am still convinced that Watto is how George Lucas imagines all Jewish people…

Sill Bimmons

Semitic people in general: Jews and Arabs.

Brick Meathook

Who does Tom Brady sleep with tonight? Gronk? Andrews? Amendola? Silly question. It’s always Edelman.

Beerguyrob

Somewhere in America, Wes Welker weeps quietly into his pillow…

blordinaryfagicmox

comment image

#collegekickers

JustStopDude
Mother Puncher

Whenever I see football players bump helmets, I imagine them kissing.

Doktor Zymm

Thomas Edison and the Dolphins D had a lot in common…
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Sill Bimmons

Finding out the ways something doesn’t work is sometimes more important…

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/4774475/exploding-pinto-o.gif

JustStopDude
makeitsnowondem

I didn’t get to watch much of this but I hate it.

Brick Meathook
Senor Weaselo

Ruh roh.

Brick Meathook

BUT THEY SAVED THE CAMERA

Mother Puncher

PFTC writes for SI now? I’m not sure if satire is dead, or reality is dead.

Sharkbait

Little bit of both I imagine. SI has enough mouth breather readers that they think he’s real.

makeitsnowondem

If you’d seen the debate last night you would not doubt that reality is dead.

blaxabbath

I’m in Savannah trying to recover from a shit day of shit travel but I hope someone does something with this Color Rush thing I’m hearing about.

Doktor Zymm

I’m slowly automating things in my house. I’ve yet to find a way to automate refilling my drink.

blordinaryfagicmox
Doktor Zymm

Seems like as good a thing as any to do with Miller Lite.

blordinaryfagicmox

Let us air our grievanceshttp://media2.onsugar.com/files/2013/12/20/886/n/1922398/6bb3088c79581384_bJ8Yl.gif.xxxlarge.gif

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HA! Finally finished HRTN for the week! Now it’s time to par-tay!

/looks at game
//drinks

Senor Weaselo

Is it very sexy or only predominantly sexy?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Quasi-sexyesque. It’ll be far less sexy when PK comes back.

Sharkbait

I fucking hate these Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials.

Sill Bimmons

If I had a Lincoln right now I’d burn the title and roll it into the ocean.

God I fucking hate Boston, their fans, everything about it really.

King Hippo

ZERO redeeming qualities