Lions Clean House: Caldwell Stands Still, Keeps Job

The Detroit Lions cleaned up a part of the house today, firing GM Martin Mayhew and team president Tom Lewand in a sweep of their “football operations”.  Why was Jim Caldwell retained?

Caldwell
“They’re coming down the hall, what do I do?”

He’s a MASTER OF DISGUISE!

Caldwell-lampshade
“If I just stand VERY STILL, maybe they won’t notice me.”

Jim Caldwell has the uncanny ability to stand perfectly motionless, meaning that if this coaching thing doesn’t work out, he can always find a second career as furniture.  He may be as effective as he is coaching.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
Subscribe
Notify of
24 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JerBear50

Hey Moose, did you review that stout yet that you mentioned last weekend or is it still coming?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll probably put it on Sexy Friday….. after some beers.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Jim, I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.”

http://detroitsportsrag.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/jim-caldwell-detroit-lions-coach.jpg

“OH JESUS, PUT THAT AWAY! YOU’RE STILL ON THE TEAM! YOU’RE STILL ON THE TEAMMM!”

http://i.onionstatic.com/onion/5166/8/16×9/600.jpg

WhyEaglesWhy

I think Martha Ford went into the office to fire him, saw that stare, and decided that keeping Caldwell is better than winding up as a skin suit.

blaxabbath

Sometimes a quarterback just needs to reset himself with a change of scenery.

Is it too late to move the Lions back to the Silverdome?

Doktor Zymm

He’s like Predator! But less deadly!

Beerguyrob

He blends in so well.

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

T-Rex been looking for him for eons.

King Hippo

Who’s ready to GET HYPE for BayBay vs. Undead Bill Snyder and K State??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hey Kerry, you wanna go halfsies on that chair?”

– Aaron Rodgers

WCS

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/15652797.jpg
The Loins went 11-5 and were a playoff team last year. What in the shit happened?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every few years Detroit has a “gas leak” season that just doesn’t fit with the overall narrative. It’s best to just chalk it up as a hallucination and not think about it.

blaxabbath

I want to know where all the fucking ‘expert’ and ‘insiders’ were with the Lions this season. Bet you can go back to the ESPN preseason prediction chart and the Lions are a playoff team across the board (along with back-to-back AFC Finalists IND).

At least [DFO]ers think they’re pretty funny but I bet our preseason prediction spreadsheet is more accurate than “the pros”.

Don T

Jim Clamwell, Milford man.

King Hippo

Oh snap, this needs to be on the DFO banner.

Spanky Datass

Outstanding!

“A good coach should be neither seen nor heard.” — Martha Ford
http://specials-images.forbesimg.com/imageserve/5861855533f0a97f2f87de92c70f9a21/320×486.jpg

WCS

I’ve never seen Jim Caldwell so surprised and relieved.

King Hippo

You know he didn’t blink when he heard the news.