![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
I think the NFL (and personally speaking, the Giants) have done enough damage to our sporting psyches these last few days that maybe perhaps we should give some other sports a chance to heal those wounds. For the soccer (don’t start) fellas the U.S. is playing Trinidad AND Tobago. Why they scheduled a game against two teams at the same time is beyond me but I’m told America’s coach Hans Flugenmeister knows what he’s doing. Over there on the JV Footy stage Toledo is handling Bowling Green and David Letterman State is taking on Neil Young Protest Song. In the ice-based sports nothing much of interest is happening. Basketball-wise, early-season NBA games are a waste of time but there are a few interesting tilts at the “amateur” level. New Hampshire/UCONN is no doubt the most fascinating game being played in front of a crowd composed of 99.98% white people tonight. Duke/Kentucky features the smarmiest pre-game handshake between coaches that you’ll see all year. The game of the night though is a monster battle between St.Bonaventure and the Orangemen of Syracuse. So many narratives! Will Bob Lanier’s alma mater continue their climb back to mid-tier adequacy? Will Malachi Richardson prove to be the shooter that everyone thought he would be coming out of high school? Will Tyler Roberson (no relation to Paul) have to play center when Cuse goes to a small line-up? Will 3-point specialist Cooney shoot above 29%? Will Coach B pick his nose yet again when the camera is on him? The answer to these and many other questions lie ahead…
Your “It’s Tuesday And Sports Games Are On!” Open Thread
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/160865/alison-brie-complex-o.gif
I stuck around all morning to bitch about my problems. I will owe you like 50 gifs, then give 35 on this thread, then just spam them whereever
My dad is admitting to being on steroids, but saying the wall punching sound I heard earlier wasn’t him. If on steroids he admits it it is normally true, just angrier.
I shouldn’t be so mean to my dad. If he doesn’t take them he dies from not being able to breath, if he does take them if makes the worlds worst asshole 40x worse
I tried spamming gifs in hope I could pretend to be asleep while I got yelled at for things my dad failed at. He is up now and even with nothing to do I expect him to be a dick about it. I got like 20 more gifs in me before I get steroid screamed at for no reason if you want
He took his sterioids and punched the bathroom wall. I know it wont be a good day.
I am annoyed I am up in the rain at 10 am. Nothing to fucking do even if I chose to wake up. Let the dog out twice already, not spending the day the best way.
Lizzy Caplan repeat http://media1.giphy.com/media/DSKxr3MF3DVEk/giphy.gif
I could have probably formed that sentence better. I failed.
I stumbled upon a gif of Alison Bries inner thigh earlier (check like 5 images down). I can’t match it, but an old favorite as penance
I was at UCONN in the early 90’s, just when they started to get really good at the basketballs. One year I was at a game at our on-campus facility, (brand new, now hopelessly outdated according to never-happy assholes), for a game against New Hampshire.
UCONN started the game on something like a 34-0 or 38-0 run. I’m not exaggerating. When UNH finally scored the crowd exploded.
UCONN is one of the few front runners I still can root for. They are good and I hate them less than the teams they face. I will never understand the 25 year rule for stadiums, fucking clean it in the offseason and shut up.
That was the thing about the Big East in its heyday-if you could get your hands on a good coach and keep him like UConn did with Jim Calhoun in the late 80’s, the level of competition and access to a higher level of recruits made your program so much better.
/damn I hated Calhoun
I want to bitch about every network show being just a list of tropes and Rob Lowe only doing an impression of everything every actor that works with him hates. Alison Brie instead.
?w=550&h=311
OK, Kristen just sent me a pic and said I gotta go to bed now:
http://files.sharenator.com/Kristen-Bell16-s1920x1200-432289.jpg
Noomi Rapace looked incredibly good in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.
Noomi Noomi Noo…
On my FB feed today, a friend posted that she had dyed her hair bright ass red again, and someone made the obligatory “does it match” joke, only the moron typed “does the drapes match the carpet?” and she replied, “no need for drapes.”
I weep for humanity, I truly do.
Oh, is a FB feed similar to a fullback draw?
Not really a FB feed leaves a huge mess in the table and lots of dishes, while a fullback draw just results in crayon on the walls and shoddy attempts at spelling.
Is that show ever coming back?
They always taught us to relax the opposing momentum and breath through your nose; that’s just good coaching.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a0faf9fb738e3dad8a51ba42351b5204/tumblr_nqosg7yqXw1uv89dto1_1280.jpg
So the NFL is what, 4-5 light years to the left?
So my dad is a giant dick about leaving the back door to the garage open behind a locked fence because . There is a group of people every year that break into cars and garages in a radius that obvious stems from there and as I mentioned before, our entire police force is trying to find moms in their 50’s slightly drunk because it makes more money. I moved here at 2-3, every fucking year it happens, dick bag cops have not once tried to solve it and they gloat about their shitty plans at city counsel meetings. What I meant to say is he left the garage door open for I think the 4th time this week before I went on a rant.
Oh shit, used carrots and got some random html
carets*? I have no clue and can’t quickly check, Less than and greater than symbols
If need to haul your parrots on a very hot summer day; this is really the best garden tractor to use.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/25f6e7af21f31c8ace2d4d8f5f0e15e0/tumblr_nr4ufsQJIv1st4bmvo2_500.jpg
*Parrot trailer sold separately.
Did I just read that Jonah Lomu of the All Blacks has died?
And by that I mean: I didn’t scroll down half a page to see that Sill did in fact just write that quite well.
That is one of the better comment qualifications we’ve seen in a week or so.
I think what we learned here is you have scroll with the hunches.
I DON’T KNOW; DID YOU??
/Sorry, had to.
Please see below.
Could be worse; you could live on the third or fourth floor.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/b0f3e0069c8b3ba1d0e2ea4898ba45f3/tumblr_nr15e8cv5P1sfqui2o1_1280.jpg
‘Cause mutant monster ball sweat stank, you see.
Here I thought one of my neighbors was reheating fish again.
Fumunda Fish Surprise; excellent.
That’s a perfect comment.
I wouldn’t say “no.”
They have great pie; always fresh.
As if things couldn’t possibly be any stupider, here comes the news that the Kikkoman company conducted frankly obscene animal research in order to prove the “health benefits” of their products for over 15 years:
“For more than 15 years, Kikkoman has conducted experiments in which animals were cut open, force-fed soy and other food products, blasted with radiation, and decapitated just to make dubious health claims—including about sexual behavior—even though authorities have clearly stated that animal experiments cannot be used to substantiate human health claims about food.”
They’ve recently committed to stopping this disgusting practice, but that’s enough for me.
San-J, Yamasa, Lee Kum Kee and many others apparently just make soy sauce. I’m going with those.
What the fuck possible benefit is there to decapitating an animal just to prove soy sauce is not a health risk?
“Her at Kikkoman, we stand by our claim that our soy sauce will not result in the spontaneous removal of your head from your neck…. and we have decades of research to prove it.”
Jonah Lomu died today.
Ka mate! ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!
Ka mate! ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!
Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru
Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā
Ā, upane! ka upane!
Ā, upane, ka upane, whiti te ra!
Damn, he was a legend. What did he die of?
Kidney failure. He’d been battling nephrotic sclerosis for years.
Ice Stillers 4 — 2 Ice Vikings 2nd intermission.
I know it is only Tuesday, but shit…..
http://49.media.tumblr.com/80860a797de16f7fd39b9745361ee7e6/tumblr_nxtp3sdYcU1rvt47eo1_400.gif
Is this thread like the football ones? Pants-less?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/c21bed8baae6212f9f77f3172b7fa2fb/tumblr_nx93vkSDm81srftd2o1_500.jpg
Good thing she has that umbrella.
Never know when it might sprinkle…..
You can tell she’s nice, since she can put up with him.
Actually, she isn’t putting up with him. I’m just off camera to her right and she’s trying to get as far away as possible.
I think I should been wearing pants that day.
I’ve had dreams like that too. It’s a shame to wake up, but at least there is wood.
I heard a couple guys talking about basketball as being “roundball”. I wanted to interrupt them and ask what shape the ball was in soccer, baseball, volleyball, lacrosse, softball, tennis, golf, cricket, croquet, team handball, etc.
At least they weren’t referring to the players as cagers.
In high school, when the school newspaper (and some teachers) referred the ‘cagers,’ I thought they were talking about the wrestling team.
Now I can’t remember the stupid nickname they used for the wrestlers. Should’ve been gonad-grabbers.
I believe it was “mat monkeys.”
In my high school, we called them “rapists”.
We just called them closet cases.
It was from before they knew how to use vegetable oil.
Just got back from the bar and watching hashtagUSAvTRI. That game was…not exciting. At least Nagbe got some USA minutes.
I’m assuming Duke, much like the P*ts, will easily repeat to keep this ass-pounding of Darkest Timeline sports era going strong.
FUCK EVERYTHING
Or worse, the it’s the tarholes turn. Dark days my friend.
The year they both make the Final Four is the year I quit putting off teh Seppuku
I miss the days of attending college basketball games. That was fun. Attending high school basketball games (when I was in high school–I’m not some perv) was fun, too.
Watching basketball on TV is not nearly as fun.
They don’t like it when you start sniffing the bleachers.
South American fútbol qualifiers are insanely intense. All teams hate each other and there’d be 8 yellow cards per game inEurope. Loathing > Scoring.
Ken M remains one of the greatest trolls the Internet will ever know.
He’s like the Onion of trolls.
Trolling is a art.
I updated the draft.
“Ken M” looks NOTHING like his file photo.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/745894134524150c0ee18a52152be757/tumblr_nv5dqyYS9m1qzr8nao1_1280.jpg
If Bill Nye was so smrt why did his show get canculed,,,
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/bill-nye-nascar-anti-nasa-211636787.html
In a way I hope this comment from Brian on that story is fake, but in another, bigger, way I hope it is real:
“NASA is a war criminal agency that puts earth and mankind at risk of extinction from discovery of unfriendly alien life through their relentless pursuit of illegal militaristic missions of interplanetary surveillance, bombardment, invasion, and colonization. Shut them down TODAY! “
Ken M.’s brother?
24 hours of college hoops?
Top three teams I hate-
1. North Carolina
2. Kentucky
3. Duke
Doesn’t the banner image explicitly prohibit us from talking about soccer? I mean, points, plural.
The NBA is the fucking best. The Warriors are on NBA TV tonight, and I don’t know how anything in sports could be more fun than they are.
Steph Curry is a walking cheat code.
The Bonnies are killing Cuse.
[weeps]
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