Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

Because I’m sensible (and also busy on Thursday nights) I didn’t watch the Jags-Titans game last night. But I did see some highlights this morning, and woof. Man, these Color Rush uniforms are just god-awful, and especially so for Jacksonville. Do you think it’s some elaborate game that Nike’s playing where they’ve just said “fuck it, let’s make these jerseys ugly as shit and still see if we can actually sell any”? Because I literally have zero other possible explanations for this. It also doesn’t help when the two teams facing off play football just as nicely as their jerseys look. I know we say we must be masochists to be football fans, but c’mon, people. There’s got to be a limit at some point, you realize.

So I’ve also noticed a serious lack of #content being sent my way in the past little while… I couldn’t even run a mailbag last week, which actually turned out to be just as well as I ended up getting day drunk on my birthday thanks to the shitty news out of Paris. Anyways, please help me fix this… keep sending me some basic questions. Anything. If we end up having an all-anal mailbag, I having a feeling like you idiots still won’t complain. This week is short, but we’ll try and get some quality out of this anyhow.

I picked up the Sanchize on waivers this week – worth a start against Tampa Bay with Bradford out this week?

I don’t see why not, really. Tampa’s D remains pretty awful, and it’s not like Bradford is lighting it up when he’s healthy anyways. There’s not gonna be a huge dropoff there. If your QB situation is fucked as it is that you actually have to go with the pederast, then I guess you can really go up from there.

Defense options to start: Oakland, Atlanta or SD? I normally have the Browns, because I’m an idiot, apparently, but they’re on bye this week.

Khalil Mack and Charles Woodson are fun as hell to watch, and the Raiders have improved so, so much this year, but I think I’m still gonna take the Falcons here thanks to their playing at home. With Luck gone, the Colts don’t have many options available. Matt Hasselbeck is only effective when he’s barfing up his kidneys, apparently, but that seems to be a rare occurrence, so don’t count on him being any good.

Sex question!

I started using Tinder a little while ago, just because it seems to be the in thing to do… I heard all the kids talking about it, so figured I’d give it a shot. Just my luck! I found a really nice girl on there! We both seem to quite like each other and I think things are going well so far. Still pretty early on, but definitely can see things progressing nicely. So my question is this: as someone who grew up where internet dating has really only recently gotten popular, how am I supposed to explain to someone where I met this girl? It just seems to me like my friend group is divided on whether online dating is legit or not, and I don’t want them to look down on me for not having met someone in real life first.

Ok, well, for one, fuck whatever your friend group thinks, it doesn’t matter whether using Tinder is “legit” or not at all. I’ve had a couple relationships and a number of flings through Tinder. It can be pretty cool, sometimes. Kinda scary as well, but that’s just the internet as a whole, really. Whatever you decide on telling people how you met, do it because of your own views and not somebody else’s. However, make sure you talk to her about it as well – gotta have your story straight. If you both say you met on Tinder, power to you. It’s the 21st century. But if you’re both nervous about that for whatever reason, be sure it’s not one of you saying you met at the gym and the other that you met at the coffee shop, or whatever. Shit just looks sketchball. So get your story straight, whatever you decide. But best of luck to you, and hope things go well for you.

Anyways, that’s all for this week. I want more. Enjoy your weekends, and happy footballing. You won’t see much of me in the comments this Sunday, as I’m off to the CFL East Division final featuring my hometown Ottawa REDBLACKS. It’s the first playoff game in 21 years here, and I’m excited to get the party started again.

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For all readers – if you have questions about fantasy football and/or your love life, please send all inquiries to [email protected] or tweet The Maestro at @TSN_Jorts. The Mailbag will be published every Friday, pending enough submitted material (hint, hint…).