Your Sunday Night Fight Open Thread

Cin @ Ari: Despite what your brain might tell you, you’re looking at two of the best QB’s in the league right here. Cincy is the dog in this one spread-wise. Since the start of the 2013 season they are 11-2-1 when occupying that status. Go for it, right? [slams the brakes] Hold on there, tiger-Dalton is 1-5 in prime time games. WR’s John Brown, Floyd and Fitz are all fighting injuries. If you happen to be in a 20 team league (raises hand) you may want to take a look-see at one Jaron Brown and pick him the hell up (done!) As much as I liked the Hopkins/Revis matchup earlier, I think the Green/Peterson battle looks even better. By the by, get yerself ready for some tired Palmer vs. His Former Team crap, despite the fact that he’s played against them before. Your re-run narrative awaits!

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Lothar of the Hill People

Palmer forgot he’s not a Bengal anymore.

Redshirt

That’s the Palmer I remember!

Sill Bimmons

youpotty in the potty

blaxabbath

Seems like this game has gone far too long without a flag.

Lothar of the Hill People

If the NFL was serious about concussions, Iupati would be sent home now.

blordinaryfagicmox

I was just thinking something like that. If you get a concussion you shouldn’t be able to play the next week. Or for the rest of the season. Or maybe for the rest of your life.

Sharkbait

I am Ok with No John Brown points and all the Catanzaro points.

WCS

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blaxabbath

Fitz is already looking good. I don’t even need to check yahoo, this is all the proof I need that I’m playing against him in FF this week.

The Maestro

Man, the Cards are fucking old. It’s always disconcerting whenever I remember this.

blaxabbath

Tom Moore is 1,000.

He taught Jesus how to block.

blaxabbath

Already talking about Arians? They’re gonna call him a mad scientist any minute now.

Lothar of the Hill People

“So great to see Iupati back” says Al.

And my wife says it too, now that my son is toilet-training on my daughter’s hand-me-down potty.

blaxabbath

When’s Fitz gonna embrace his degree.

“Larry Fitzgerald: And I’m a Phoenix”

Sill Bimmons

heh heh he said youpotty

Sharkbait

So…the face of whooping cough is a wolf?

Also VACCINATE YO DAMN KIDS!

Lothar of the Hill People

DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN’T CAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRE… if my kids get sick.

Sill Bimmons
Redshirt

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Redshirt

Damn it. I misread that. I thought that was making for of anti-vacines.

Sill Bimmons

Was wondering…

Sill Bimmons
Lothar of the Hill People

I was just saying this same thing. Both KIA commercials I’ve seen have made me really dislike the brand.

Way to go, KIA.

King Hippo

Surprised Al didn;t give us the odds on this being the SB preview.

Redshirt

Bengals are 8-1. Cardinals are 7-1. I think that puts the odds of CIN-ARI Super Bowl at around 50-1.

Spur

I wouldn’t mind seeing Kaep playing for the Cards or Cowboys.

Spur

Romo ain’t getting any younger. Let Kaep sit for two years to learn the offense.

Lothar of the Hill People

Say, Carson Palmer used to play for Cincinnati? No way, I don’t see any shitstains on his pants from eating Skyline “chili”

Romonobyl

Due to the shortened program, we’ll only be bringing you one of Carrie Underwood’s legs.

WCS

Do we still have to listen to Cris? We do? Damn it.

Redshirt

Alright. The Bengals hit a pothole last week. Time to see if the Bengals regain control, or if they overcorrect into oncoming traffic.

Redshirt

RED ALERT! Pacman is inactive! Someone warn all strip clubs in the Glendale area!!!

Senor Weaselo

You think Pacman ain’t gon drank? Oh, he gon drank. Chuh chuh.

Doktor Zymm

WTF. Why does every guy I meet want to stick his finger up my butt?

Doktor Zymm

Not always a bad thing, but if I’ve known you for less than 24 hours, NO.

Sill Bimmons

Still stuck in the anal stage.

Senor Weaselo

I was going to say earlier: “Oh, oh, the good Doktor’s gonna make some questionable decisions! That’s great hustle!” And then would stop short on the ass-slap.

Romonobyl

Are you sure you going to the right bars?

Redshirt

Hey, Zymm. You could’ve just said “no, thank you”. You didn’t have to be a dick about it.

King Hippo

I have always had a very simple rule. I will stay away from your butt if you stay away from mine. Has served me well for 42 years.

And since I am officially retired, I am glad not to have this worry no mo

Lothar of the Hill People

Maybe he’s looking for his car keys?

Sill Bimmons

Nah. He’d know it if his car keys were up her ass.

Lothar of the Hill People

His car alarm goes off every time she farts?

Old School Zero

Quick question: are you a heroin mule?

Romonobyl

Dallas will win just enough to lose a wildcard game and screw up their draft position.

Spur

They’ll win just enough to give me hope and then crush them.

Romonobyl

That too.

Redshirt

Ah, yup. I’ve lived that story. Hell, I’m living that story.

Sharkbait

Fiancee: Whoa. Who the hell is that?
Me: That’s Harvard graduate Ryan Fitzpatrick
Fiancee: He looks like a candidate for Hipster or Homeless

blaxabbath

So you went to Jared?

Sharkbait

Nope. Dodged that bullet and got to use a family heirloom. Free ring!

Redshirt

Am I the only one who doesn’t find Lady Gaga attractive?

Horatio Cornblower

Nope.

Romonobyl

Katy Perry she ain’t.

Old School Zero

I’m gonna guess the feeling is mutual, though.

Horatio Cornblower

No, she adores me. Keeps showing up at my house and work. Really getting tiresome.

Old School Zero

I wasn’t talking about YOU. Of course she’d be into SERIAL KILLERS.

Be honest, that meat dress gave you some ideas. ADMIT IT!

Horatio Cornblower

No, she stole that idea from me. I told you she adored me. I didn’t say why she adored me.

Old School Zero

Did she ask you if you wanted to see her Va-Gein-a?

Redshirt

Yeah, but I know I’m a 5 (6 at Last Call).

King Hippo

Not even a little bit. This also applies to Gwen Stefani.

Romonobyl

Lady Gaga…why the long face?

Lothar of the Hill People

Stop horsing around!

Redshirt

I just watched part of a new episode of “Simpsons”. Now I don’t care if the Bengals win. Actually, I don’t care much of anything. I think I might be dead inside.

Romonobyl

Can’t believe that’s still a thing.

Sharkbait

New Simpsons episodes are like Slapshot 2 and the Houston Texans. I’m convinced they don’t exist.

blaxabbath

These little, “oh hey, here’s PK and Florio prepping for the show on their Surfaces” commercials are possibly the worst thing about SNF.

And that’s saying a lot because everything about SNF that isn’t Carrie Underwood can get Paris bombed and I’d be happy to make a crude joke about it.

Old School Zero

And, seriously, Kaep over to Oakland? PK is dumb as shit on dumb toast.

Sill Bimmons

That’s not fair to shit on dumb toast.

Old School Zero

Dumb toast need the most attention!

Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Well fuck, that was supposed to be a video of “Americans Watch Hurling For The First Time”

Sill Bimmons

It was.

Redshirt

What did you think it was?

Horatio Cornblower

Thought the actual video would show up here. I was wrong.

The one about Irish people watching baseball for the first time is really funny. “I was expecting some action by now”

Sill Bimmons

I’m just going to come right out and say it: Trevor Noah is not funny.

blaxabbath

Never be the guy after the guy.

Sill Bimmons

I don’t find his stand-up funny either. I just don’t get his humor style.

Redshirt

You’re not the only one. I tried one segment of Daily Show and that was it.

Sharkbait

A quick Google of Carson Palmer reveals he has a brother named Robert.

His parents are assholes.

Romonobyl

They must be addicted to love.

Sharkbait

His life must be like Michael Bolton’s from Office Space.

Sill Bimmons

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL THHHHHHHEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTT

Romonobyl
Spur

Wow, Nascar didn’t even get a nice goodbye/hand-off to Football coverage.

Redshirt

At least if they lose again, the Bengals have an excuse this time.

http://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2015/11/21/bengals-stuck-az-elevator/76170672/

Romonobyl

I missed the end of the race, did the white guy win?

Redshirt

Over/Under number of breakup songs played in and out of commercial breaks: 5

Senor Weaselo

How about O/U Kimo von Oelhoffen references?

Spur

Did Joe Gibbs win?

Redshirt

OK. Racing’s over. Now back to watching my team make me want to cut myself.

Old School Zero

I can’t believe no one is firing guns into the air there.

Sharkbait

Oh they are. Just at home.

WCS
Spur

Turn that wheel HARD!

Spur

Watching this Nascar race reminds me I really need to invest in a Confederate Flag Emporium

WCS

Kansas City is now 5-5, and in the last Wild Card spot. The Iggles were embarrassed by Lovie Smith and Crabman. Going to be a fun day in WIP Land tomorrow!

Sharkbait

Im hoping the directors make the call to dump Nascar off onto NBCSN and not bump football coverage.

Old School Zero

JOE GIBBS?

Romonobyl

I was actually a big NASCAR and NHRA fan in my youth. Then I had sex with a girl and everything changed.

Senor Weaselo
Sill Bimmons

I was too, then Dale Earnhardt died and I didn’t care about NASCAR anymore.

Romonobyl

Left turn…
Left turn…
Left turn…

OHHHH LOOK another left turn!

Senor Weaselo

Gasp! Such intrigue!

Old School Zero

There’s nothing more ‘murican like a bunch of brand logos circle around and around while we unnecessarily burn off fossil fuels.

Spur

Go Yellow car!

Sharkbait

If a meteor hit a Nascar race I’m pretty sure the collective IQ of the nation would increase 5%

blaxabbath

These prime time games have got to stop (and ARI still has a TNF match up) because the standard Sunday offerings are horrible, just horrible.

Not that Arizona’s games are any better, but I care about those.

Lothar of the Hill People

Too soon?

I’m into the Mad Elf.

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