Let’s not regard this game tonight as the end of week whateveritis but see it for what it could be. This, this my friends is the beginning of a long, glorious week of sport-making that could cause the most loyal and understanding of significant others to say, “You’re watching sports AGAIN?”. Whatever you want you’ll get it. NFL Football? Natch. European football? Got it. Hockey? Got it. College AND NBA basketball? Got it. Something that is not-Baseball? YOU ARE COVERED. It’s a perfect ksunami (I prefer the silent “k”) of wonderfulness that is rarely equalled. Think back to the last week of July…..it was a living nightmare wasn’t it? Now fast-forward to today. This future’s so goddamn bright I’ve gotta throw shade. So watch that Cavs game tonight. Take in the Rangers. Check out the Spurs. I’m going to grab a piece of the LSU/Marquette tilt ce soir so that I can see with my own two eye-holes what the big fuss is about with this Ben Simmons kid. Don’t fight it. Just let the myriad sports options wash over you and bathe in their luxurious, soapy…umm, gotta go!
Buf @ NE: There are two scenarios here. 1. It’s a blow-out right out of the gate, like Secretariat at Belmont-level. 2. Rex comes up with a great game plan, hangs with the P*ts and goes in tied or slightly ahead at half-time. The problem is the damn mother-lover that coaches the home team will make the necessary adjustments and Rex will spend the second half looking up at the Jumbotron and thinking, “Huh, well that’s not working any more”. After the two touchdown loss he’ll wander into the press conference and talk about “key errors”, “lousy execution” and “he out-coaches me every time because my in-game defensive changes suck balls”. Happens every time.
That pass right there proves the Tyrod would be the perfect Flacco-placement.
Yay-ish?
Fuck you, Gruden, if that was the Pats, and the defender never looked bCk, you’d be screaming how you can’t believe there’s no call there.
Faceguarding?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4M0VajzVtk
http://49.media.tumblr.com/13c17583667ceb6db21772ae0747c867/tumblr_no5zuxtoiO1s01qkyo1_500.gif
I didn’t see “Cheeseburger” or “Italian Sub” on that menu.
Hope the P*ts save some of this suck for next weekend.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/eee05c1efc6e6964bc9dda5f269b5e46/tumblr_no5s4jyBq31qh3tpwo1_1280.jpg
Come back to Baltimore Tyrod…we were wrong about you and we know we can make it work this time.
I told you Joe…Shut up…he’ll hear you.
Listening to sports talk radio in Baltimore. Near as I can tell Dan from Dundalk was speaking for the entire fanbase when he demanded the Ravens bring in Ray Rice to fill in the various holes in the team. Would be interesting to see the dude as the leagues tiniest left tackle.
If someone wrote a movie where the Hamburglar killed the King and was hunted down in a cross-country chase by Roy Rogers, would you watch it?
I’d get it from Redbox.
Bring weed, and I’d watch it.
Oh and hamburgers and/or roast beef.
Only if The Grimace was secretly behind it all.
Yes. Yes I would.
I’d watch it in theaters twice but they’d both be matinees.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAi1dnJwuXk
http://49.media.tumblr.com/8655d95569c8cc2f5e691ec216a70ca0/tumblr_nuxdqxAea01qazbepo1_400.gif
http://i.imgur.com/jhLhIaf.jpg
He brought a boot to a knife fight, and it was surprisingly effective.
The inevitable outcome of this game?
Okay, finally got dinner on autopilot.
http://www.vizzed.com/vizzedboard/retro/user_screenshots/saves0/1/Zero%20Wing_Jun8%209_22_50.png
“he reminds me of Russell Wilson”
Taylor’s not getting laid either?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/95ef3515a5eca15b6a6a0836f4919a74/tumblr_no9isacOKJ1rbrhnko1_500.gif
Hey scotchy, Cuse just fired their footy coach
Bob Dylan shilling for IBM. Okay then…
Bob Dylan is a great musician, but a terrible human being. Ppl forget that.
Fun Fact: Riley Cooper wrote the original script for “The Purge”. Its working title was “Black Friday”.
Called up dealership to ask when I can pick my car.
“Come by in the morning to pick up a rental”
I get a new transmission I guess…thank got the car is still under warranty. Needless to say, I am still stuck around my crazy family without smokes or booze.
“No smokes and no booze makes JustStopDude something something…”
http://31.media.tumblr.com/6f96fc20abbdebdef10a55278fc040bd/tumblr_mzblzcr5mR1skcjpto4_250.gif
I can’t lie to you about your chances, but… you have my sympathies.
Ashe was an asshole of a synthetic.
Now Bishop….that, that was the guy.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/53f079a5c526cfe021349136b2df73fb/tumblr_mnua4437PM1r3yexao1_500.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/9412e30f49a1c8db31b9df1d325c8b8f/tumblr_nxtfuuskRF1u41v6no1_500.gif
An all-out blitz is more effective at stopping an offence than all-out bratz
http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/b/bratz/Bratz.jpg
These were surprisingly accurate foreshadowing for actual teenager-dom
http://49.media.tumblr.com/506ad96e9d7b79bffb45655d67456f0e/tumblr_no5qj6wI8n1s01qkyo1_500.gif
FUCKING KILL HIM REX
http://i.imgur.com/bQyFxMI.png
MEN. OH, MEN! I ain’t gonna fuckin lie, we got no shot at winning this thing. I’ve got a better chance of licking Giselle’s feet after the game. But if we’re gonna lose, I want you to do one thing for me: RIP BRADY’S FUCKIN HEAD OFF AND KICK IT DOWN FIELD.
I have word from on high the organization will cover the fines.
Gruden is showering in Dreamboat’s jizz tonight
WVU wins 97-44! At least I have that to soothe me somewhat.
Woo hoo! Some sisters are gonna get kissed tonight!
[fires guns off into the air]
What the fuck, Rikki?
It wasn’t a tie.
They should start playing the London games in meters.
Evening everyone. I just had to Lysol the literal shit out of my car. I am not a happy camper.
There are easier ways to huff substances…
Man, that sucks, but we told you not to lend it out to Aaron Hernandez, dude.
We’re not going to give a running into the kicker for diving straight into his plant leg then?
Not if the Patriots do it, no.
Running into the Bills kicker. On the Bills.
OH SEXY GIRRRRRRLFRIEND!
http://i.imgur.com/tupKLoa.gif
“I don’t know what their record is in this place, but HGHGCJHGCJHGCJHGCXHJGCX”
–Jon Gruden
Seriously, how could he, of all people, not rave against the bullshit Pats every game he calls with them playing?
THIS BUFFALO WIDE RECEIVER CORPS I CALL IT WARREN SAPP’S MAILBOX CAUSE IT’S FULL OF BILLS THAT ARE BEING IGNORED.
That’s the stuff.
Known for his escapability:
http://www.themarkofaleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/houdini2.png
Couldn’t take a fuckin punch, though.
Apart from his rectus abdominis
http://buffalorehab.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/core-strength-for-golfing.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a76276239206c0a3f87db734b310d340/tumblr_noc9dz7OxI1t5lu7ho1_r2_1280.jpg
LIFE BY A MILLION CUTS
“This is a shotgun operation.”
— Dick Cheney filling in for Ben Carson
“How would you describe the pain, from one as the least to ten as the worst?”
http://theconnectedcause.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Dial-In-Those-Google-Analytics-Settings.jpg
I want a donut.
just had some mini-raspberry filled from Publix. I feel all the shame.
Feel no shame! Eat all the minis!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/f2cf8b4e9437936220402036b487cde7/tumblr_nocv0hUvjg1s01qkyo1_500.gif
Whatever The King is on, it must be good.
Not sure it’s a movie; this may have actually just randomly happened at the mansion.
First attempt at filming Wilbur?
….filming, Wilbur?”?
The FX comedy with Elijah Wood who is the only person to see his dog as a human being that still does dog stuff.
Yes. Mine was a joke fail.
I wish I got paid $3 million a year to kick stuff.
I like it so much I do it for free.
I’d get nominated for awards and shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7-x3iZHPbs
http://49.media.tumblr.com/ccf2ad906b05cd3569a92197f5fbb931/tumblr_ny4ek41sop1tezjkso1_250.gif
Lucky lollipop
Fuck. These. Idiots.
/bearded since 1996
So…you were bearded before it was cool?
Bearded once it was necessary to offset the baldness or end up looking like Frosty The Snowman.
I tried to grow a beard once. It was a very sad thing.
Both of my brothers have that issue. I grew a beard before I left high school. I’d like to say it’s a look thing, but I’m honestly too lazy to shave every day.
Stop–ish.
http://baretnewswire.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/buffalo-bills2.png
Needs more bling and sparklies
Needs more empty Genessee Cream Ale cans scattered around it.
Fuck yeah Utica!
Roy, go-cart, terry cloth shirt.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/9ba7ba8791afc4a0f7354ee48eb11661/tumblr_no8h104NH31rab8xmo1_1280.jpg
Ice Giants 1-0 Ice Titans. Despite being outshot 25-7
There is no God but BLEERGH, and Gene Steratore is His prophet.
You stupid Bills.
This is all the shit I hate in a football game and it’s barely five minutes old.
Shit, with that kind of pass protection even Jimmy Clausen could–BAHHAHAHAHAA I couldn’t do it
Implying Jimmy Clausen can do anything is a long shot.
He theoretically breathes unassisted, so there’s that.
PK is always available to offer mouth-to-mouth.
Christ, Tirico, how can you speak with your head so far up Brady’s ass?
HAIL BLEERGH