There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to…
Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC)
Though this may have “third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey” written all over it at first glance…I wouldn’t be quite so hasty. The Packers have been poop for quite some time, at least on offense. I mean, I am quite likely to start Josh McCown over Aaron Rodgers this week. Yes, a good part of that is me being a fucking lunatic, but still. Plus, Catler’s zen presence has elevated all around him since returning from injury. The Bears qualify as perfectly average right now. Prepare to mute thine teevee boxes early and often, as this is a Favre Slurping Special tonight. Even if it’s physically impossible to deep throat ol’ #4″…Cris and Li’l Bobby Costas are sure gonna try their best regardless.
AL: a whole generation of kids who should want to play the game just like brett favre did. but they can’t, because as you know they’ll be charged a 70% effective tax rate and they will be unable to afford true moxie
THANKS OBAMA!!!!11111
TT got the first down and will run out the clock now, fyi
Moxie’s not for sale brah.
You gotta EARN moxie.
Holy fuck. It’s not even the 4th quarter yet. TIME FOR ARCHIE BUNKER SUICIDE PANTOMIMING
http://i.imgur.com/nRzeDwD.gif
The real god just ended that interview.
It’s been awhile since I heard about Brett FARVE
Well, Brett Farve would be happy to tell you about Brett Favre. As a matter of fact, Brett Favre is his favorite subject.
“Divine intervention”
Or, you know, fucking football Al.
So they’re intent on ruining the entire 4th quarter with this Farvenis obscenity.
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-02/5/16/enhanced/webdr07/anigif_enhanced-buzz-24515-1423170320-14.gif
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/24400000/Harold-Kumar-in-A-Very-Harold-Kumar-Christmas-harold-and-kumar-24496873-600-280.gif
I ate so much earlier that twice, twice I broke out into a cold sweat with the feeling I would boot.
Looking back, that would have been preferable to listening to this four hour BrittFar circlejerk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbg1nEXQ1fI
http://i.imgur.com/boLefKT.gif
I CANT GET ENOUGH FARVE JIZZ!!!!!!
There we go. Al Michaels just confirmed the Dead Dad Game was because God. I hate this so much.
Wait. I thought Favre WAS god? I am so confused.
Dammit, apparently my stream is a bit behind the live game.
White guy gonna grit.
Based on Twitter, Texas just shit the bed somehow, and I don’t have FS1. Anyone know what happened?
TT threw a 60-yard TD pass to go up 10 with 2:40 left, but then TX score right back. Crazy onside kick bounced all over the placed, but TT finally covered it. TX could get it back with about 1 minute left.
To truly salute Farve, soemone has to throw a late game pick to seal it for the opposing team right?
That has Cutler written all over it.
Or maybe it was the god damn raiders and they were awful. They got beat by the bears and fucking duck juron that year.
Duck juron dude
Gunslinger’s gonna sling.
Texas just scored again (2 play TD drive), cuts the lead to 48-45 with 2 minutes left. Better than the Brittfar fluffing.
oh motherfuck this fucking fucktardery
http://i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr288/APStewart86/WhatHeSaid.gif
NBC is really good at play-commercial-play-commercial-play-commercial
Oh fuck. Here we go.
OH BOY MORE COMMERCIALS THESE ARE MY FAVORITE ONES
Fuck Steve Jobs
With Bill Gates.
All right, I think I’ve recovered from my Dobos sugar high. If you know what it is, you understand. If you don’t, it’s poison and I’ll eat your piece for you.
Brett Favre sure can talk all night about Brett Favre being Brett Favre and doing Brett Favre things while having an NFL career as starting QB Brett Favre.
#32 on Green Bay is named “Banjo”
If I were on his team, I’d sing “Oh, Susannah” to him all the fucking time.
I was that guy in the lockerroom.
I’d just do the Jon Hamm 30 Rock “BANJO!!!” thing at him, constantly.
Brett’s hat’s bad tho
Any good basketball games on tonight?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/8d69ec403daedb6ff5fb5a015ab5a0fd/tumblr_nqojimWs891r7eta3o1_500.gif
I like the one you found
I like her form.
Needs more sad injury music
Are the Bears setting everyone up to hope they’ll win, only to pull out the defeat with a last-minute Crosby FG?
Bears FG, then Packers TD and Favrrre comes out to go for two. YEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW
http://i.imgur.com/iCgPJQh.gifv
I AM JJ WATT AND I AM CONCENTRATE
Just noticed in that stupid JJ watt commercial, the guy who hands the singer the guitar to smash up flinches when he breaks it.
I’m going to see if my brother in law has any drugs
You could always make purple drank.
Make sure they knock you out, if he does. Last thing you want is a coke-induced truthstorm.
If he does, we expect you to share, young man.
Does any brother in law not have drugs?
The married ones.
I can hook you up! I got ambiene, percs, a couple of oxys, and some weed.
^ My hero.
When you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to take it as far as you can.
If not, you’d be justified in Ryan Leafing the neighborhood given your fucking context
BrittFar had an anxiety attack. Good thing he had some pills.
I see Brett’s hat, and I remember my dating days and the associated application of condoms.
Sorta sloppy and casual?
More like “I gotta roll this the rest of the way down”.
WHERES THE FUCKING CHLOROFORM
Seabass’ locker?
What, do I look like Bill Cosby?
Brett, tell me about your raging pill addiction.
Brett, did you ever get the shakes from withdrawal in a game that went on too long?
Or a career that went on too long?
Don’t you fucking tease me with donuts big enough to wrap around the Washington Monument?
Yeah, I have trouble finding a donut big enough to fit around my dick.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/50df3d2f32e3d44b9d1f0f408e89dfc9/tumblr_nmytepyTJl1smynkdo1_250.jpg
I kind of forgot how easy it was to score in Baltimore. My pill fueled “Salute to Brett Farve’s ankle” may come back and bit me in the ass….
I need to party with this guy!
At least now Belichick knows who broke into his closet over the weekend.
Of course BrittFar is goign to do a triathalon. Most triathletes are insufferable pricks.
Hey do you wanna hear about crushing crossfit bro?
ALL triathletes are pricks
I said “most,” because I wasn’t sure if anyone here did triathalons
Johnny U would have worn a suit. Fuck u Brett
You know he’s super excited to be on the teevee box. He wore his dress sweatpants and everything.
I am going to try to beat her.
Now is not the time Brett.
It isn’t?
-Greg Hardy
Ah fuck, lost the game.
God dammit
On the plus side, no more Brittfar
this is just so fucking awful i
You what??
GUYS I THINK WE LOST SILL
Brett, what the shit is that hat
What bait did you use to catch that hat
He is dope yo, bet you he could still thr…..ohhh god its a masterplan!
The free bowl of soup he got when he bought this:
http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/151/4368ac02001945afa56a16bbe6e14a71/l.jpg
Brett, do you wear that hat while working the land or do you just make the hat work the land for you? Because it looks fuckin worn out
Brett, your hat, it’s like a Kangol that got let out of the pouch too soon
Brett before we talk about football I’ve got to ask you about that hat, and my main questions are “Why” and “Why did you mutilate a perfectly good knit Magnum condom”
If Trump used that hat to hide his hair he’d be polling at 2%, Brett
That’s like the hat equivalent of your Jets tenure, Brett
Brett, that hat looks like the sheep it was made from got caught in the rain and then you also got caught in the rain later
The hat doesn’t make you look gangster, Brett, it just makes you look like you’re as high-functioning as Al Capone
I just looked at the banner pic…so much for being in the woods.
(sings) I’ll never play football again
DONT TAKE THAT FUCKING SHIT IF YOURE PRESCRIBED THAT POISON DITCH YOUR SHITTY PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY DVT IS NOT A THING
It’s not? Then what have I been watching all these movies on?
We gave our enormous cat Minnie some roast duck and now she is going to want it every single day forever.
For the love of Lord Cthulhu, can I get a damn touchdown from Forte?
You know even if they get in position, Langford is gonna get the ball instead.
Of course he would. I guess I need to make a new sacrifice to the Gods of Fantasy Football.
Brett Favre is out of hiding. Just a suggestion.
Well I forgot all about him and left him on my bench so he should be getting 3 TDs shortly.