Your Sarcasm-Heavy “So Many Games To Watch!” 4 O’Clock Slate Open Thread

Two frickin’ games? Two? For the whole goddamn country? Why not throw the Minny/Atlanta game into this slot? What about Fins/Jets? But noooooooooooo. Two games! I’m SMGDH over here!

Ari @ SF: One of the biggest questions surrounding this game is “Why?”. Another question is, “Can the Cards top the 47 points they hung on the San Fran back in week three?”. This looks like a good game for RB Johnson to get back on track. Them Niners gave up a 200+ spot to Seattle’s Rawls just last week. There’s yakking going on about this being a trap game for the Cards what with the Rams next up. Huh? Palmer is running on all 12 cylinders and I just can’t see it. The big news in Niner-land is that Gabbert will be wearing an alternate black uni while he gets sacked numerous times/limps to the sideline/chases after the DB that got the intercept/demands a trade at half-time/posts a low-teen QBR rating.

Pit/Sea: Ben is back and so are the chances of the Steelers grabbing a wild card berth. They do have to steal this game plus one other vs. the Bengals or Broncs. They should beat the Browns, Colts and Ravens. It seems that if the D is right then so are the ‘Hawks. In their last 3 wins they gave up an average of just over 8 points a game. Their last two losses had them surrendering an average of 33 but in fairness that was against the Cards and Panthers.

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blaxabbath

This is horrible. ARI looks like shit when they face a REAL quarterback like Blaine Gabbert.

Spanky Datass
King Hippo

Random white guyDOWN!!! FROM THE FLOW!!!

King Hippo

The Belldozer made the NFL? Yeah, just the Niners but still…

Spanky Datass

HIM NEW LESS RAPEY BEN HARF

blaxabbath

How does like all of the Big Ten have boring ass helmets and then Iowa gets that smooth hawkeye logo?

Redshirt

Hey, don’t diss the Buckeye stickers.

blaxabbath

That’s an add-on.

Sill Bimmons

Not bad.

Don T

On the bright side, the Niners did take advantage of Old Navy’s 40% off on everything in the store.

WCS

Michigan must have as well. Explains their performance yesterday.

blaxabbath

This Southwest Airlines guy is annoying. If I were on his flight, I’d hijack the plane and slam it into the US Capitol.

Redshirt

Smile everyone. We’re now being looked at by the CIA.

King Hippo

Stop looking at our ass.

John Difool

Mr. Anderson, so nice of you to join us.

Sill Bimmons

Remember when you were a kid and didn’t really notice the officials?

Good times.

John Difool

Oh the way Glen Miller played, every song a hit parade….

Brick Meathook

I worked in a coal mine when I was a boy.

Redshirt

Backed when I was a teenager, I had to look at my porn in a magazine!

litre_cola

I wore an onion on my belt as that was the style at the time.

Redshirt

Why would there be a 10-second runoff? That benefits the team that committed the penalty.

JustStopDude

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WCS

I could never do seeing-eye puzzles.

JustStopDude

Its a sail boat.

WCS

Tackling is against Ross Cockrell’s religion.

King Hippo

BLEERGHkakke

blaxabbath

This Arizona game is never ever going to end ever.

Sill Bimmons

Nice tackle dickhead.

King Hippo

AZ is gonna run like 13 plays inside the 10 yard line

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I celebrate that touchdown with sweet potato pie!

blaxabbath

My. God. Arizona.

Score the fucking touchdown.

fleshwound_NPG

Current number of Mike Tomlin fucks given:

-3

Redshirt

Damn it. I was hoping for a Pick-2 to tie the game at 16.

Sill Bimmons

Whoever has the ball last is going to win this.

Redshirt

Oh I forgot. God is the Founding Member of the Steeler Nation.

WCS

WOOOOO

/I might have had too much caffeine today

blaxabbath

Nice to see Arizona taking the week off after back to SNF games.

JustStopDude

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fleshwound_NPG

HARFCANNON

Sharkbait

15 minutes and then I can get the fuck out. I’m having at least 3 fingers of bourbon when I get home. On call be damned.

blaxabbath

3 fingers….of a milk jug?

Redshirt

“We didn’t get into a rhythm.”

– Eli Man Penguin Boy explaining his 3 INT game.

fleshwound_NPG

“Best shootergame of 2015.”

That is notaword.

Sill Bimmons

wow the ben

King Hippo

A day full of shit games and the nightcap will likely be Dreamboat and Grumblelord raping my Donks. Fucking universe.

Brick Meathook
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well aren’t you just little miss optimistic sunshine?

Brick Meathook

I ENJOY THE PROGRAMS BROADCAST ON CBS. THEY INTEREST ME.

WCS

Which NEW HIT DRAMA is best?

Sill Bimmons

BAZINGA

Redshirt

..and I’m back and Seattle scored a touchdown. Maybe I should leave again.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

OH NO YOU STAY

Redshirt

What’s in it for me?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hmmm…I won’t write you into HRTN?

Redshirt

I may be stupid. What’s HRTN?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hard Ride To Nowhere, my weekly mass of assorted nonsense about fictional* Commentists.

*MAYBE

Redshirt

Ah. I’ll check it out. And I’m a real factual person. Kind of.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

So you say…

Sill Bimmons

beat it

WCS

I’m so glad to see JJ Watt in commercials. He’s finally getting the spotlight he shuns so much.

Sill Bimmons

GREGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SCOFFS HAUGHTILY AT THE DEARTH OF PROFESSIONALISM EXHIBITED BY THE MARINE BIRDS OF PREY CHEER BABES THE FOOTBALL GODS WILL WAX WROTH

theeWeeBabySeamus

Halftime of Dayton/Xavier, I think I’ll flip channels and see what else is….
OH GODDAMN NINERS/CARDINALS HOLY SHIT!!!!! PREV CH BUTTON!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

SEAHAWKS/STILLERS!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!
MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!!

WCS

Poop.

Sill Bimmons

That was unencouraging.

blaxabbath

Feels like BA is calling a pretty vanilla game. Challenging the players, not the scheme, to beat an inferior opponent.

Throw the ball a little more and assume SF runs out of trick plays, Cards should open this up in the 2nd half.

Bloody Lethal

Good LORD.

Redshirt

I…I gotta go fluff my garfield.

blackroseMD1

Is CJ1K hurt or something? How does he only have 21 yards rushing at the half against the Niners?

blaxabbath

SF is playing the run and Arians is PA-ing the hell out of them.

blaxabbath

is NOT

blackroseMD1

Ah. Figures.

blaxabbath

THIS JAY GRUDEN I CALL HIM JON GRUDEN BECAUSE A BAD FRANCHISE THINKS HE IS THEIR COACHING SAVIOR EVEN THOUGH HE WON’T GET THEM A CHAMPIONSHIP!

John Difool

Umm, Gruden won a Superbowl.

Sill Bimmons

I really hope they didn’t just Schrute that challenge.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kt6j0phBQt1qzp9aeo1_500.jpg

fleshwound_NPG
WCS

comment image

blaxabbath

ARI being up 6-3 on SF is as bad as a 7 game losing streak this late in the season. Need to kill these assholes.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

WHAT THAT WAS A CATCH TOTALLY A CATCH WHAAAAAAT?
-12’s

John Difool

Billy Graham never stiff-armed Satan that hard.