Your “What Night Is It Anyway?” NFC East Fiasco Open Thread

Was @ Phi: Over their last eight games the Eagles are doing the lousiness on D to an extent that is only surpassed by the Saints (of course). On t’udder side of the field Cousins is grasping for the Slurs QB throne with a 70% plus completion rating over the same period. Trouble is, them Washington folks have trouble winning when they have to take a stagecoach to a game. Folks, this is the NFC East’s homage to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, all wrapped up in one debacle. Enjoy.

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Doktor Zymm

Local DC artist expresses the feelings of the Dermatoids upon winning the division. Also, I really need to listen to this at the gym.

blordinaryfagicmox

There is a player on Nebraska whose last name is Newby. I can’t wait for his post-football career as a professional Starcraft player.

Doktor Zymm

FU N00B!!! hahafagg0t.

entropy

A perfect circle, Gravity, is also awesome. I will brook no argument on this.

Horatio Cornblower

As God is my witness I had no idea there was a game tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

You didn’t know that Thursday Night Football was on Saturday? WEIRD.

Doktor Zymm

Where is New Trafford?

(Man v Man has come on now that WOOOO is over)

entropy

Old Trafford’s in Manchester, so somewhere fuckin English.

(Irish heritage gets ornery when drinking)

Doktor Zymm

Which do you hate more, the Angles or the Saxons?

entropy

Angles help me win pool games.

Horatio Cornblower

I sucked at geometry so as far as I’m concerned the Angles can eat a bag of dicks.

Senor Weaselo

Google says it doesn’t actually exist!

Doktor Zymm

It’s like the Dakotas. There’s a North Dakota, and a South Dakota, BUT NO ACTUAL DAKOTA.

entropy

But there is a Lokata. Wait, they’re a people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Jordan Reed is absolutely torching RGIII in the radio side.

“The difference was leadership… quaterback play is so much better with Kirk in there.”
http://37.media.tumblr.com/12c9f8e5cb505099aec5ae8950cb0282/tumblr_n2alf9RRV41rfduvxo1_500.gif

Doktor Zymm

Jordan Reed likes the guy who throws to him every other play? SHOCKER.
http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.9456609.2649/sticker,375×360.png

LeighAnne

That’s why Steve Smith Sr. said his favorite quarterback was Jake Delhomme. Because when Delhomme was his QB the entire offense was “throw the ball to Steve Smith Sr.”

Doktor Zymm

Hells yeah DJAX! If you in a gang, it’s a DC GANG NOW! WOOO! HAIL!

Doktor Zymm

Is it worth noting that I’ve had this song stuck in my head during this entire game? I was back home this last week and spent a lot of time driving around, which is the only time I listen to the radio.

WCS

Washingon will somehow win the Wild Card game to further lose draft positioning, and the SUPER SUNDEE COOCHness will delve even further into delusion. The long-con is fun thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Psh, you right, but you still a bama.

WCS

i’m just jelly imo

Doktor Zymm

One day, I really want to say “I’ll lade your marma” and have it actually make sense in context

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

….to rest.”

Doktor Zymm

And in a last twist, Kirk Cousins FAILS to take a knee.

Senor Weaselo

He just falls down? Sounds about right.

Doktor Zymm

Actually, “Redacteds” almost fits in the fight song. HAIL!

entropy

Billy Bragg & Wilco’s Way Over Yonder is really a great fucking song.

JerBear50

Agreed. That’s Natalie Merchant singing in the background too.

entropy

I did not know that. I like me some Natalie Merchant.

JerBear50

Same here. You listen to a lot of alt-country/americana? You kept mentioning Prine last night too.

entropy

I listen to damn near anything except modern country. And if you don’t le John Prine you have no soul.

ballsofsteelandfury

I would love Cousins to spike one here.

Recovery Whiskey

The Eagles are fighting intelligently to the end. You can tell how well coached they are.

JerBear50

It’s almost hard to believe they didn’t score three times in four minutes with five yard dump-offs to the middle of the field. I mean, how does that not work out for you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blordinaryfagicmox

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Doktor Zymm

I HAVE CONFLICTING FEELINGS! I AM AMBIVALENT ABOUT FOOTBALL!

Doktor Zymm

Oh wait, my wine is empty. That’s the problem. BRB.

blordinaryfagicmox
entropy

You gots work to do.

Doktor Zymm

SHIT TRENT IS HURT! I HATE FOOTBALL!

American Pie Story

that escalated quickly

King Hippo

wine is a multiplier of great force

Doktor Zymm

Hey, you remember how Kirk Cousins epically derped? And now the Eagles are gonna lose anyway? And also the Eagles beat the Patriots?

I LOVE FOOTBALL!

Senor Weaselo

Transitive property go!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have not heard Eagles call in radio for a while; still the same clientele?

http://45.media.tumblr.com/575cc7c3ccc28a0fb5b0141ed66a2d04/tumblr_ng2i081TNi1qf9csoo1_400.gif

WCS

That is a most Ohio story, indeed.

blordinaryfagicmox

Is that a young Emily Deschanel? Now we now how she got so interested in bone-related crime.
http://static.ifood.tv/files/image/a7/5c/554567-emily-deschanel.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was a crooked, dead-end road you drove down for that joke…. and it was worth it.

WCS

Washington blowing this would be like mainlining Dilaudid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Don’t mind if I do!

Doktor Zymm

Can’t argue with that logic!

entropy

Dilaudid is FUN

Doktor Zymm

Doktor Zymm

I love this song cause I know all these places, also, works so much better for the DMV than it does for NYC

entropy

You ever hear G Love’s “I 76?” Does the same thing for Philly.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll have to look it up, it ain’t my home town, but I’ve got a fair amount of connection to Philly, so I would probably enjoy it. My mother hates Philadelphia, she lived in a shitty area there for a year or two in the 70’s and has fun stories about getting really resistant to TB and her mentally unstable roommate who joined a cult. Also, she calls the Schuylkill expressway the “Sure Kill” expressway.

entropy

Everyone calls it that, with good reason. It’s dangerous in GOOD conditions, if there is any sort of precipitation, you’re fucked.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve driven it, but I learned how to drive in downtown DC and on the Beltway, so my idea of dangerous is kinda skewed. Also, I’m really good at parallel parking.

entropy

I’ve driven everywhere, and I found its not me I have to worry about, it’s everyone else. Although the I-10 interchange in San Antonio is kinda hairy. It’s the place they used for REM’s Verybody Hurts video.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the problem with DC. People from DC don’t have cars. All the people with cars are transplants. Half of them are from the north and want to drive aggressively and laugh at the weather, while neglecting to account for ice or use chains or anything they would fit their car out with back home. Half are from the south and have never driven in anything approaching cold and want to drive slower than the speed limit, but occasionally are inspired to emulate the northern drivers. It’s a deadly mix.

entropy

My buddy is DVR’ing the Comcast Eagles Postgame, because we’re gonna be YouTubing music and such and won’t watch it, but he wants the “unfiltered, unspun despair and hate” the show will display. I support this.

Senor Weaselo

But the FCC still exists.

Recovery Whiskey

Non broadcast

entropy

He’s comparing it to the Monday morning drive time radio, which makes sense. By then, a narrative will take hold, tonight, it’s all suicidal sadness.

Doktor Zymm

Excuse me for a moment. I need to dance around in an embarrassing fashion. Cause HAIL! I mean CRAP! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Enthusiasm somewhat tempered by the fact that this is a three game win streak, and this is somehow exciting***

Recovery Whiskey

Playoffs are never to be taken for granted.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That turf at FedEx field has ruined more Cousins and brothers than incest laws

ballsofsteelandfury

Banner quote!

JerBear50

THIS EAGLES TEAM I CALL THEM JERRY LEE LEWIS’ WIFE BECAUSE THEY KEEP GETTING FUCKED BY COUSINS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Recovery Whiskey

Looks like a rerun of 2012 if Seattle can nail down the 5 seed. That turf is scary. Cost us a D-lineman last time, as well as the [*Redacted] s’ QB

Doktor Zymm

“Turf” is the polite name for it.

King Hippo

spray painted parking lot annex?

Doktor Zymm

That’s more accurate. Though to be 100% correct you should add the word “poorly” to the front.

entropy

And like that, tomorrow nights flexed SNF game is fucking meaningless. FUCK YOU NFL AND YOUR NFC EAST FETISH

Doktor Zymm

“HAIL! WOOOHOOO! WE’RE GONNA WIN IT ALL!!!”
-Irrational interior [*Redacted] s fan part

“Crap, we gonna get the crap beat outta us in the Wild Card, and we’ll get a harder schedule and shittier draft pick next year”
-Rational interior [*Redacted] s fan part

Senor Weaselo

So will we see you Super Sundee, Cooch?

Doktor Zymm

WOOO! I mean, CRAP! I mean, WOOO! I mean…crapwoo?

entropy

“I’m not your coach! HE survived!”

Bugg

Dan Snyder, furiously gratifying himself to …himself.

The Maestro

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS TEAM BEAT THE GODDAMN PATRIOTS

Senor Weaselo

Magic?

blordinaryfagicmox

punt return, punt block, and fumble? all returned for touchdowns. Was it a fumble or int? Already can’t remember.

Redshirt

I think the Patriots pulled a Globetrotters, they goofed off and toyed with the Washington Generals so much that they didn’t leave enough time to win.

Doktor Zymm

Even the football gods have a sense of humor.

Recovery Whiskey

Gronk and Amendola were out?

King Hippo

going for 2, because they CAN

Redshirt

Come on Conversion Safety!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

TIL former Viking Alan Page is a Minnesota Supreme Court Associate Justice.

Recovery Whiskey

Wonder if he will get to rule on any of the
BLM protester court cases

The Maestro

Man, the Eagles are soooooo bad.

entropy

THIS is an insurmountable lead. Wooooooo YouTube channel time!!

King Hippo

Lucky PierreDOWN!! KILL SHOT!!!!!

King Hippo

Holy shit, the Redacteds have united the Lucky Pierres? No wonder they are unstoppable!

blordinaryfagicmox

Yes, I know the name McVay from some shitty Giants head coach. NOOOOO no other reason to know that name.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That would be Tom McVay’s grandson Sean haha.

Recovery Whiskey

Its just not that common to have batteries on your person any more. Might be why none came flying just there.

Doktor Zymm

So, to get waaaay ahead of myself, if the Rosasea Dermatoids somehow sacrifice enough goats or whatever and end up in the Super Bowl, y’all are all invited to a viewing party at my place.

entropy

That shot was maybe not a good idea, hey?

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I have a realistic view of both a) The chances of that actually happening, and b) The chances of anyone actually coming to Chicago if it does. And if it does actually happen? I can afford enough plastic sheeting to cover my whole apartment.

entropy

I have two uncles in the Chicago area. One is a great guy, haven’t seen him since my mom’s funeral. One is an asshole, needs a beating. I’d make the trip for the side bonus of taking care of a few things.

blordinaryfagicmox

Remember the last person to make that offer? Haven’t seem VMB since…

Doktor Zymm

Indeed, what happened to her?

Though, to be fair, I’m not proposing an orgy. There would be a lot more of me yelling at the teevee in my Kerrigan jersey than at most orgies.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I like my Kerrigan orgies more Nancy IMO

entropy

We’ve obviously been to very different orgies.

blordinaryfagicmox

No idea, maybe someone else does. Or maybe this place is like an alcohol neverland, and once you sober up you can never come back.

entropy

Christmas surprise part the second:

Pugs are easy to draw, and somehow look even DUMBER in pencil.

Doktor Zymm

I love how baby pugs already have all the skin they’ll have for their whole life. Also, they make excellent space heaters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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entropy

I’m 6’5″, 270. I am a space heater.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit! The announcers actually understood what was happening on that play?

Doktor Zymm

Or they’re good at bullshitting with a straight face.

Gratliff

I will never understand the rule where youc an take the ball, run back a bit, and then just take the mulligan and get spotted back at the original point of contact.

Doktor Zymm

And Philly boos an injury. KEEPIN IT CLASSY.

entropy

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Doktor Zymm

Hah! Great minds, etc.

entropy

Ah, classy Philly fans booing the injured player.

Doktor Zymm

Jinx, owe you a beer

entropy

Got one! Pour yourself a shot and we’ll call it even.

Doktor Zymm

Prost!

entropy

Slainte.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

That’s…that’s a Vet commemorative stomach tattoo.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well his stomach looks like demolition so it is only fitting.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was supposed to be an I.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Deelightful.

Col. Duke LaCross

Perfectly fine, perfectly normal.