Your “What Night Is It Anyway?” NFC East Fiasco Open Thread

Was @ Phi: Over their last eight games the Eagles are doing the lousiness on D to an extent that is only surpassed by the Saints (of course). On t’udder side of the field Cousins is grasping for the Slurs QB throne with a 70% plus completion rating over the same period. Trouble is, them Washington folks have trouble winning when they have to take a stagecoach to a game. Folks, this is the NFC East’s homage to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, all wrapped up in one debacle. Enjoy.

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Redshirt

What happens on a two-point conversion attempt if an offensive player somehow get tackled in their own end zone 98 yards from the line of scrimmage? If no one knows, that’s okay. Odds are Kirk Cousins will someone do that sometime tonight and then we’ll all know.

Senor Weaselo

I’m hoping one-point safety. I’m expecting two-point anti-conversion.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it terrible that I’m praying that mistake leads to a Schaubesque collapse of Cousins’ confidence?

Doktor Zymm

While I have the opposite hope, I’m reasonably certain this is gonna happen.

Doktor Zymm

I just can’t bring myself to make an oral sex joke about Cousins getting down on his knees…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ll regret it if you don’t.

blordinaryfagicmox

He’s not from Alabama, so a sex joke about cousins just doesn’t make sense.

Bortleback
Doktor Zymm

My favorite “Philly sports fans are horrible” story is relatively recent, and not actually from football. Seems like a good idea to remind everyone of this one.
http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407

King Hippo

somehow I missed that the first go-round. Ewwwwwwww

entropy

Philly is the fucking worst.

Gratliff

There are a lot more horrifying bad Philly fans stories out there. I appreciate the family friendly selection.

Recovery Whiskey

Cousins looked like a real QB on that one play.

Senor Weaselo

Evening everyone. I forgot about this and am watching Mythbusters.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

SPOILER: They blow it up.

Spanky Datass

“BOOM!” wash, rinse, repeat…

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Cousins day so far:

http://dai.ly/xlmu1

Redshirt

#19 was afraid to kneel down.

entropy

Jokes are just writing themselves now

entropy

Is Trent Green mouthing the shit he’s about to read off the TelePrompTer?

Doktor Zymm

Yes, that was unbelievably fucking dumb. What’s also dumb? No way that Kirk “I threw one interception so now I’m gonna throw four more” Cousins is able to mentally overcome that shit during half time. The forecast calls for DERP.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

It’s not enough that Kirk Cousins took RG3’s job, now he’s got to rub it in by taking bad knees as well?

Doktor Zymm

Oh, well done.

Redshirt

I look forward to reading this on the banner on top of the screen.

blordinaryfagicmox

Going through old comments because I just remembered there was a game on is like being rewarded with an archaeological dig, but this comment is like finding Tutankhamen’s tomb filled with booze, pizza, kittens, and free loose women. And like Tutankhamen’s tomb, I hope I didn’t catch anything from them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

A friendly reminder…..
UCLA/Nebraska Chicken Bowl is still a thing.

The Maestro

I’m watching it right now and I have absolutely no idea why.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto.
I think I need to find a hobby.

Doktor Zymm

BRING IN RG3 FOR THE SECOND HALF!

Gratliff

Half time goes by quick when the entire Internet is mocking the [*Redacted] s

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ah yes, the 20th anniversary of this game!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph-wkS-4HfY

“Pffft, who needs to shovel the show out, it’s a meaningless game in December!”

Recovery Whiskey

Kind of bittersweet considering Spanos and the NFL are trying to skip town.

Bortleback

Kirk Cousins could come out and go 17/14 for infinity yards and 200 touchdowns in the second half……and this would still be remembered as the game where he completely shit the bed by kneeling when he was supposed to spike it.

Redshirt

And this was the moment that KSK became KKC, Kneeling Kirk Cousins.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want to see Cowher beat Deion’s ass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds like an odd porno.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d watch it.

Doktor Zymm

That wasn’t a Victory formation, it was a Contradictory formation

Gratliff

Let’s all welcome back Kirk Cousins, the Kirk Cousins of football.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Want an Ertz donut?

Doktor Zymm

I like how Chubby told everyone what play he was planning on running if Cousins hadn’t had a Cousins moment.

entropy

He’s confident the Eagles couldn’t stop a nose bleed at this point.

WCS

“Add salt to it!”
“No, take some aspirin!”
“Give him the Heimlich!”

entropy

It’s the Eagles,”hit him AGAIN!” is probably the consensus view.

Doktor Zymm

“Make sure he doesn’t swallow his tongue!”

Redshirt

I think we close this thread and call it a night. I mean how are we going to follow that?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, we all had a good laugh at the Colts when they ran that “fake” punt that they weren’t supposed to snap, but this was way, way, worse, right?

Gratliff

Gruden throwing him under the bus on the way to the locker room is the best part

entropy

I think so.

Gratliff

The Ertz uncovered overthrow seems like a slight hiccup now.

entropy

And there was a great sussuration throughout the land, as a million people said, “dafuqwassat?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

The QB took a knee, the game clock continued to run. The first half is over.

And don’t touch my fucking head again you fuckwits.

King Hippo

Was there a head owie that I missed earlier in the half?

theeWeeBabySeamus

There seems to be no shortage of brain damage on either side of the ball.

Doktor Zymm

It’s kinda nice having a stream that’s a bit on delay, cause I know when something really dumb is about to happen and I can be sure to pay attention to the DEEEERP.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Well that was….unexpected…

WCS

No, it wasn’t.

WCS

THAT’S SO NFC EAST!

King Hippo

SPECIAL NEEDS DIVISION

Sharkbait

That kneel down is the NFC East personified

King Hippo

uhhhhh, wha happen???

Sill Bimmons

oh my god

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit. What an idiot!

Gratliff

Furious masturbation

Sill Bimmons

holy what the fucking fuck

comment image

Redshirt

What the?!

Gratliff

OH MY GOD THE DERP

King Hippo

This is the stupidest two minutes of football any team has ever played, yes?

entropy

Was Cousins’ third move there gonna be a tongue kiss?

Redshirt

Was Cousins about to kiss the Referee?

Gratliff

If Cousins was black, he’d be in a cop car right now

Redshirt

Delayed Derp!

Recovery Whiskey

Watching these teams play is like listening to the Chipmonks song slowed down.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8FxOu2gg10

King Hippo

Wow, Iggles. Just wow.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

WOOO I get the Bone Tomahawk BR this week, and Hateful Eight starts Wednesday!!!

It’s a great time to be a fan of bloody Westerns AND Kurt Russell.

entropy

Bone Tomahawk is FUCKED up.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Good to hear! Been looking forward to seeing it.

entropy

The Slurs away jerseys scream Ronald McDonald to me.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, the “burgundy” is too dark. Really, it’s the Chiefs that have the McD color scheme, which is appropriate because Andy Reid.

entropy

I can see it.

And I am enjoying this Slurs game far too much, not least because it’s making my family insane. They will get back at me during tomorrow’s Jets fuckup, but I can live it up now.

Recovery Whiskey

Old burger king maybe

Gratliff

That was a half of completely characteristic fuck ups by both teams. so I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate your next SB champions, the NY Football Giants.

Doktor Zymm

Giants Super Bowl Patriot’s Schadenfreude is some of my favorite Patriot’s Schadenfreude.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

She’s really into that trash can.