A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.
KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.
A cat came onto the pitch during the Everton FA Cup match today. Maybe Houston should try that.
Cutler would be an upgrade, you’re right.
Brain Hoyer is the best!
GODDAMN!
RUNNNG OUT OF LAUGHTER
Holy shit, I was right.
THIS HOUSTON TEAM I CALL THEM THE SUBMARINE KURSK BECAUSE THINGS ARE BLOWING UP AND THEY’RE CRUMBLING UNDER PRESSURE.
Excellent.
Doopy time!
He’s not a Decepticon…he and INTERCEPTICON!
Even as an avid golf fan (COME AT ME SHITCOCKS), fuck off with the Masters shit, ESPN.
Ha ha, you like watching flies fuck!
So I’ve only been sporadically paying attention to this game, and I legitimately don’t know who the Houston qb is.
From what I payed attention to, JJ Watt
Trick question. There is no such as a “quarterback” on this team.
The QB turnover/TD ratio for this game is INFINITY.
And that’s actually true, not even hyperbole!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/9cd6b213ef197478e0a355069ac79a04/tumblr_nz3ot0uY7r1qgtfwko1_500.gif
I LOVE THIS GIF
“What if I told all of you that you don’t know shit about cars?”
“No way, it’s a Chevy!”
“It’s a Malibu?”
“I want one.”
Great acting.
I know it’s supposed to be an ad for Chevy, but it also serves as an ad for class warfare.
DON’T BE CAUGHT ON THE WRONG SIDE
BUY A CHEVY TODAY
I assume they are just running out the clock now. Must need time to warm up his extra special Dooping Pantz.
Down 13-0 with just over two minutes to go in the first half, Houston wisely decides to run the ball, try and get some time off the clock before Hoyer’s next turnover.
How many 1st downs does Houston get before they turn it over again? I say 2.
By the way, what fucking dimwit in the Texans front office thought signing QBs too shitty for the Cleveland Browns would be a good idea?
“You ain’t seen nuthin yet! YEEE HAAAWWWWW!!!!”
– Jerrah
I see this commercial and logo all I can think is “BATTLETOADS FUCK THAT GAME IT WAS SO DAMN HARD”
I couldn’t even beat that shit using a Game Genie.
I used to accidentally kill my brother so much on that game
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hide and Battletoads are the only NES games the Angry Video Game Nerd has never beaten.
Really? I thought it was more than that. Jesus Christ I never knew it was that hard
Prepare your anus!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/581a3869b6b1d78dc2413c5ecd7c362a/tumblr_o0mt75d6cW1s2wio8o1_500.gif
36000 feet above Moab Utah, taken about ten minutes ago.
http://i.imgur.com/TwMafln.jpg
By the way, what’s the score?
13-0 Ribs
Chiefs 13, Screaming Watts 0
132-131 Chiefs.
Houston(?): 0 — Milana Vayntrub: Eleventy billion.
yo
sup
That’s balls
– Barry Zuckercorn
http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q219/fazzbug/Milana_Vayntrub_The_Clandestine_53_zps2a3d1c6d.jpg
Bill O’Brien is experiencing a fever dream whereby he was the coach of the 2007 Boise State Broncos.
He’s tired.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/966f509bd089e45278412eebf5e2211b/tumblr_o0nc66LUQh1qgtfwko1_1280.jpg
Once a browns always a browns. Because the water seeps into your dna you see
And then it catches on fire.
And then it gives you syphilis.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Can someone who lives in WIP broadcast rage please write a post tomorrow about Eagle fan reaction to Andy Reid’s performance in this game?
Everyone is in WIP’s broadcast rage.
I assume you meant broadcast range but what you wrote makes as much if not more sense.
It’s the best typo I’ve made in a while!
Either of these teams are going to get soooooo cornholed by New England.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/4eaec8b9cef08ad7780fb0a88b93e7b6/tumblr_nxgt29jNa71rbrhnko1_500.gif
Pretty much
But for that to happen that means that the Bengals would… ah i see. Only one playoff drought can end today right?
Keep celebrating, JJ. Score’s still 13-0, and you are -2 yards rushing, asshole.
Whitney Mercilus has a great last name.
Almost makes up for, you know. WHITNEY.
The keyword was last.
If a team loses in an empty stadium, does it make a noise?
It’s the sound of no hands clapping.
I believe the Falcons proved last year that no, they do not.
http://img.pandawhale.com/172720-milana-vayntrub-hot-catsuit-mo-I3ik.jpeg
http://i.imgur.com/FbISwdZ.jpg
How do we know that wasn’t a designed interception by the Texans to get their defense back on the field?
I live in Houston, and I think I heard the giant simultaneous orgasm that exploded when Watt took that snap.
Brian Hoyer isn’t actually blind is he?
WE WANT DOOP! WE WANT DOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How’s the game?
Kinda funny.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/67e7ef696a9cb905de2b14e7291d3eab/tumblr_o06cktaLee1s2wio8o1_500.gif
oh Jesus. Your shitdicks have A LOT to live down to in order to top this chicanery.
It’s a good thing the Texans don’t have any fans, otherwise, this could be really upsetting to someone.
What is the sound of no Texans fans crying?
Bees?
What happened to LastTexansFan? Did he never make it over here?
I was thinking of them as I wrote it.
He succumbed to full WRASSLIN Fever back in 2013.
He and TH went full-WRASSLIN about the same time.
Oops. Copy and paste didn’t work
Yes it did
PK makes a note:
“I would have left Watt in, let him try to lose two more yards, rather than make this mistake with Hoyer.”
I need my 15 Lortab 10/325s a day to keep me higher than a flag on the Fourth of July, but now I can’t shit. WHAT DO I DO?!
Taco Bel
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1m-qLgITT4U/UjBoW8C75EI/AAAAAAAAcbg/lfWVUFUh9Pc/s1600/aceventura-celebrate-o.gif
Somewhere in Dallas, Tony Romo just had a wicked bout of deja-vu.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/bb038a0f4fca2caa103a1e4d9f77a676/tumblr_mvl7sw2rVe1rik14zo5_250.gif
I don’t trust the Texans to get near a TD again. Pic I had for if they had scored a TD
http://heightandweights.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/934_minka-kelly-1195814235.jpg
Bill O’Brien gets what Bill O’Brien deserves. This ain’t a bowl game you fucking jackass.
Well it’s their last game of the year, can’t hold anything back.
“Texans Pulled Out All The Stops On Offense.”
-PK, putting his best shine on Watt fucking up
When did Hoyer Country get annexed by North Korea?
(uncontrollable laughter)
HOYERCEPTION III: SECRET OF BILL O’BRIEN’S GOLD
That HOYERCEPTION was so satisfying.
Hoyer you shit head