The “Oh No, Katherine Webb Has to Wear a Parka” Late Playoff Game Open Thread

They’re predicting freezing rain for the annual Cincinnati first round disappointment this year, adding to the suspense.  How will it happen?  Will AJ McCarron throw a back-breaking interception?  Will Marvin Lewis waste his last challenge early?  Will Antonio Brown catch 25 passes?  Will THE BEN harf his way into the Divisional round?  As anyone who read the DFO -Money Comes In this week can attest, I only care about these outcomes for my one remaining fantasy team.  The Hank Scorpios need Antonio Brown and THE BEN to lay out a clobberin’ on the Ben-Gals.  Sorry, Vontaze Me Bro!

The fun starts at 7:15 DFO time on CBS, take it away boys!

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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Senor Weaselo

And Brown is also dead.

Wakezilla

There’s the late flag I was expecting. . .

JustStopDude

And there is the game…on a flag…

makeitsnowondem

National Flag League

Doktor Zymm

THAT WOULD BE TOTES COOL BUT YOU HAVE NO TIME AND BEN IS GROSS

Brocky

yeah, don’t cover their top receiver bengals….

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Marvin gonna get shot in the face if they lose, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Marvin Lewis tells his team to keep an eye out for the hook and ladder.

Don T

We replaced Todd Haley with Andy Reid.
Let’s see if anyone notices.

Spur

That tackle by Michael Johnson was huuuuuuge

Brocky

Holy shit what a tackle

Horatio Cornblower

My son is now urging the Bengals to put an arm bar on Ben on the way down.

I’ve never been more proud.

King Hippo

Why are the DBs playing so deep? The Ben can’t throw beyond 10 yards

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

He’s become Peyton Manning?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF HARF-HARF

Doktor Zymm

If a girl says “Hey, I gotta take a time out” and you haven’t been fucking for the last half hour, she’s not that into it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or maybe she’s a Gelgamek.

Horatio Cornblower

Clearly you’ve never gone to the bathroom with Ben

Romonobyl

All those in favor of drunk Zymm, raise you hand.

Senor Weaselo

Yup.

Recovery Whiskey

Bail out flag? Bail out flag.

Recovery Whiskey

Upon further review, that was a dirty hit that might cost them the game

nomonkeyfun

Da fuq. An’t wait for a Toussaint to fuck over white people.

Senor Weaselo

Damn you. I was trying to find a way to make that joke for the last 3 1/2 hours!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

There it is- nice job

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t say I’m haitian this comment.

nomonkeyfun

I only wish I didn’t have a typo.

Don T

Cheap booze rxxxxxssss

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This dink and dunk offense should help them score and use a good 4 or 5 minutes of clock.

Brocky

What the actual fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

My son, just now “I just don’t get how this entire stadium is looking down at a man who’s committed rape and cheering for him.”

Me: “They’re not but only because this is Cincinnati and Ben plays for Pittsburgh.”

Man I hate the NFL.

Spur

I bet Landry asked Ben to come in.

Horatio Cornblower

Better odds than that girl asking him to come into the bathroom with her.

Senor Weaselo

Lazerface-approved!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In case there was doubt, THE BEN at 40% > Landry Jones at all the percents

Doktor Zymm

Don’t be calm, be erect and sad.

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s at 2 AM when everyone else has gone to bed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

These fuckwits are cutting into my Deadwood binge watch time.
Just saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Hugs to all the Steelerish brethern.

ballsofsteelandfury

Love ya Dok.

WCS

Honestly, no one deserved to win this brownstreak.

Don T

So the question is: are the playoff Bengals the Browns?

King Hippo

Recovering dude needed to run with that shit

Col. Duke LaCross

The did run the ball JEEM!

makeitsnowondem

Guys,

Doktor Zymm

This is not the [*Redacted] s game. I have no emotional stake in this game. I’m drunk, and therefore still give a shit. THOSE BASTARDS.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Yes! I TOO DRINK TO FEEL

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh God. Not this way.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Still room on the Bills bandwagon. Artisan-crafted heartbreak a specialty

Senor Weaselo

It’s Thursday Night Football, Saturday Edition!

Wakezilla

I don’t get how people are questioning if Dalton should be replaced by McCarron. AJ’s throws have been very inaccurate.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We like intrigue and don’t like gingers.

JustStopDude

Every time I see Jeb Bush in a debate, I expect him to just blow up like this on Trump.

Recovery Whiskey

Why didnt they take a knee 3 times and kick a FG?

Spur

Marvin Lewis happened.

Spur

You’ve come to far to derp!

Horatio Cornblower

“Mike Carey no doubt about that right?”

/cuts to commercial while Mike Carey huffs paint.

Bugg

Football and refereeing by imbeciles.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ugh. I hate this game.

WCS

EMBRACE THE HEARTBURN!

nomonkeyfun

I want to see the scene at Vontaze’s house right now, fuck the Ben is coming in.

Spur

FUCK THIS GAME

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Holy Bengals, Batman!

JustStopDude
theeWeeBabySeamus

He who derps last, derps best.

Senor Weaselo

Nobody wants to win this game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone call Cleveland, they may have some competition coming…

fleshwound_NPG

Bungles!

Horatio Cornblower

‘Was he down?”

Jeez Jim, I’m not sure. He caught the ball, the WR hit him, he landed on the ground, the WR landed on him; I’m really not sure.

But hey, thanks for trying.

Kungjitsu

AJ McCarron is now the third best Bengals QB evar behind Phil Simms and Ken Anderson.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Um, do you mean Boomer instead of Pheeeeel?

Wakezilla

You mean Boomer Essaissen?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

They’re not the same person?

Kungjitsu

They’re the same dude. Phil is Boomer with a fake Kentucky accent. #NobodyTalksLikeThat