csb/ When I was at university I would go back home for holidays, spring break and the summer and sling milk for my dad so that I could have spending money. Pere had the expectation that when I was finished schooling I would join him in the business. One morning during Xmas break I was on my way to make a delivery at a grocery store and the announcer on the radio said, “Congratulations folks, today [insert hometown] is the coldest place in Canada!” Shortly thereafter I decided that the cow liquid business was not for me…
Sea @ Min: TAKE THE UNDER! The Weather Network tells me that by game time it’ll be 1 degree but will feel like -11. This would be a good spot for Peyton because he’s accustomed to not having any feelings in his fingers. But this is the NFL and we can’t have nice things. Sigh. Pundits (that have completely forgotten that Minny has been a dome team for 32 of the last 34 years) think that this will give the Vikes an advantage. Coping with the weather? No. Given these D’s I wouldn’t think that this was going to be a high-scoring game under any circumstance. Seattle did blow the Vikes balls off in wk. 13 but the former was cracking on all 24 cylinders and the latter was missing a couple of safeties, LB Barr and DT Joseph. I give Minny a puncher’s chance here-they’ve got to win the turnover and special teams games. That said, I’m making Seahawks Tyler Lockett my game MVP. Now, START YOUR TYPING FINGERS!
I have fixed the outdoor sump pump in 20° weather. Hey, did you know that mud can exist below freezing? I just found that out, or rather my pants did.
That is something I don’t miss from horseback riding. Icy mud slush is horrible stuff, especially when mixed with manure.
Alright, Commentists. Time to find a tasty bomber of stout at the corner liquor store.
Do tell what kind you get.
Goddamn R.E.M. was good (Monster to the mid 2000s aside)
Probably my all time favorite band.
But yeah, shit fell apart right around Monster.
You’re gonna make me defend “Nightswimming” and have Glorious Commentist Party mock me again, goddamnit
Nightswimming was Pre-Monster.
You are safe.
I maintain “Sweetness Follows” is the best song on Automatic for the People, but I won’t mock you for your choice.
You know what, I do like “New Adventures in Hi-Fi”
Deal with it, DFO.
Duluth native Bill Berry might be at this game.
When I was working at the Grand Canyon, Michael Stipe showed up. He did NOT like being recognized by the public.
http://i.imgur.com/k6inPXa.gifv
Right. Going outside now.
A double kneeldown to end the half, that’s ambitious.
Wilson has not been throwing in the cold well. He’s also not wearing gloves
why not go for it? Minny wouldn’t be able to do anything regardless. Stupid SeaTruthers
Dey be cold…go to lockerroom then try again.
That ball just DIED the moment the punt hit the ground.
Did Cris just say someone got “a little bit into” Russell Wilson?
PHRASING!!
That non-TD is on Wilson.
That throw really was the definition of an “arm punt.”
Float float float
WHAT? HUH? FUCK YOU I’M PACKING TO MOVE TO LA; I DON’T HAVE TIME TO FLOAT!
My latest batch of chili turned out really well. I am content.
Did that Friday, I add half a bottle of stout to deglaze the pan after browning the short ribs, what to do with the other half?
With Ice Age temperatures, how have we not had a turnover yet? Not counting Ryan coming up short a nose on that botched punt.
AP is just waiting for the most crippling moment to fumble.
They just aren’t throwing enough.
We’ll do you live near an Arby’s?
The deep ball PI is going to be a major offensive weapon today
which I don’t understand, it’s not like someone is likely to actually complete such a pass sans PI. but I suppose muscle memory takes over
Every, EVERY DB coach needs to be fired, because that play is in every playbook because every time the DB NEVER turns around.
I wish someone could explain to me sometime why DB don’t turn around any more
I blame Ace of Base. https://youtu.be/B_gs4gCyGKs
and to think it was a comfortable 35 in chciago last sunday
http://45.media.tumblr.com/0cf802d0e0751af72b1c850f3bc3d905/tumblr_nysudsbLvL1ruw1vso1_500.gif
Moose, thanks for that
Defender never turned around.. … dammit.
Also flattening the receiver four minutes before the ball got there probably didn’t help.
Dear god that Superman Batman thing looks worse than that Michael Bay one with the Batman nipples.
and they were totes eye fucking that whole scene, yeah?
Amazingly, the bat nipples installment had no Bay involvement somehow.
So in catching up on everything that happened yesterday… the Chiefs won 30-0???????
Sweet fuck, I can’t believe this team’s won 11 straight games.
They’re teasing us with the hope they can beat the P*ts which means they’ll be completely dismantled by the P*ts.
I dunno. As a Pats fan I’m actually pretty nervous about this matchup. They’re on fire right now.
To be fair they were the only team playing.
That guy has a lot of frozen snot in his beard.
“snot”
As is the custom in Minnesota.
Is it too late to rip the roof off the new stadium?
My wife won $8 in last night’s Powerball driving.
I’m totes quitting my job tomorrow.
Am I the only one that hears Subway Fresh and thinks Jared’s dating preference?
Only if you’re hearing it in a minor key.
Way over yonder?
http://57.media.tumblr.com/2551be66fae8aeb5329a4304de95592d/tumblr_nwffa3qwHI1rpduwho1_500.gif
Wonder if the teams could vote to just fucking skip halftime and power through.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/95cee3e357197bd5ae4a5b616850e6b8/tumblr_npy12kwgmm1rxczzyo1_1280.jpg
This whole game looks like a giant hookah bar.
APT
A bunch of those popped up around me the last few years; I was driving past one one night and saw damn near all the clientele outside… Smoking cigarettes. They are NOT ALLOWED TO SMOKE CIGARETTES INSIDE A HOOKAH BAR.
This world confuses me.
Trying to explain the NFL to my Russian co-worker using this game is an exercise in futility.
“It’s kinda like this, but less boring and cold”
he would have like last night’s 4th quarter much better. more MMA-ish
Just tell him it’s like hockey without crushing government oppression.
“Look, here’s a comparison, whenever football comes on we drink like Yeltsin. Got me?”
Screens! Screens!
I hate when chicks use too much teeth.
Bevell: All the bubble screens
It’s funny to me that McDonald’s thinks young attractive people eat at their food and have amazingly exciting times at McDonald’s
http://57.media.tumblr.com/be84c764d3b88d4bda7268417dbf1a34/tumblr_nqzc51nAr51qzqc4so1_400.gif
I would imagine that their marketing department is banned from setting foot in a real McDonalds
I’m quite glad I prepared for the cold by making a giant batch of chili.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c6d81713603d0c4549db2532f1a0d091/tumblr_nxm11eaYWv1qmd9v5o7_540.jpg
I’m glad I prepared by not being somewhere cold.
And a batch of chili.
Its weird that the Vikings and Packers still observe the gritty white fullback tradition, but not the Bears.
I fell asleep again during pregame stuff. I missed a half. In my defense it was terrible and I need sleep
I was up at 13 min left in the 2nd, just running around since then, haven’t had the chance to actually sit and watch
Time well spent.
Quick recap: lots of derp, Al & Cris are gonna bone like college freshmen at the half, and I have magic powers now.
3rd and 13, go for the play that absolutely will NEVER result in the first down!
Don’t question Norv.
Teddy, Zach Line is NOT a threat and he never will be.
THIS GAME I CALL IT GREENLAND BECAUSE THERE’S DEAD FROZEN SEABIRDS AND VIKINGS EVERYWHERE.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4fs2mKgxU1r0eo86o1_500.jpg
FINALLY got home after spending 24+ hours with my girlfriend at her parents’ house. Fucking Christ. I’ve missed… everything. Yesterday, the first half of today… Ugh.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS??
If you haven’t already, go watch some highlights of last night’s game.
“Highlights” being a generous term.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/a5c8ed9a73dc69c9d001c565af5e56ae/tumblr_nxy2no949v1uao3y3o1_500.jpg
Zyggi Wilf sounds like a Fargo villain.
Yet looks like a silent movie villain.
“PURPLE DARTH VADER IS PART OF THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND A TRAITOR, TAKE HIM AWAY”
-Real Darth Vader
Darth Raider shivs them both in the kidneys.
Darth Nader thinks everyone needs to just get their heads around how capitalism is ruining the galaxy.
I have no clue what the fuck is going on here. I’m sober and my urge to kill is rising.
Meanwhile, arguments about how the force exerted by a gas across the surface area of its container varies with temperature:
“really…..25 below wind chill.
-3 degrees
the balls are freaking rocks and probably can’t lose pressure”
-seriously423, Ph.D
Didn’t mention it’s PFT, shockingly enough.
PV = nRT ,, ppl forget that
You Boyle’s gas law fuckers are pissing me off.
PURPLE VADER GON PURPLE DRANK
That ref’s vocal chords are frozen solid.
It’s 61 degrees outside, so rather than subject myself to Bob Costas’ hot sports taeks at halftime, I’m gonna do shots on the back deck and see if I can worry the neighbors some.
Always a good idea to remove all clothing and bring a firearm.
Just trying to help.
This is Pennsylvania, they will fire back.
Alternate option…
Especially if your neighbor is an “E. Frein”
There’s the answer about FG distance.