Your “City of Charlotte Shuts Down For The Game And Nobody Notices” Open Thread

After watching Arizony blurp their way to victory yesterday I’m saying that the winner of this game is the NFC champ. It looks like RB Lynch is back on the field today. The usual fart-makers that must talk about things are wondering if he’ll be ‘ready’. Hmm, do you think that a Pro Bowl back with fresh legs might possibly be an upgrade over something called a, and I quote, “Christine Michael”? I do. Just looking at the both of these teams I must say, THERE’S A SHIT-TON OF TALENT HERE. DO YOU HEAR THAT JERRY REESE? IT CAN’T BE THAT HARD TO DRAFT WELL. [upends table that has nothing on it] Sorry. Where was I? Right. You’d think that mega-CB Norman would be matched up against WR Baldwin (he of the 13 TD’s in the last 9 games) but the former is a baby that only rarely plays the slot receiver. (don’t tell him I typed that) Speaking of tough assignments S Chancellor gets to be roasted on a spit with an apple in his mouth by TE Olsen. “Fat Chance” is great in run support but if Seattle wants to blitz he’s gonna be on an island that features quite a few balls whizzing overhead. CB Sherman does follow the opposing #1 WR all over the field and that spells bad news for Ted Ginn. Years from now when you hear the phrase “a rising tide lifts all shitty receivers to career years” you’ll think of the Ginner and have yourself a nice martini. (may apply to myself only). One guy that might be under your radar is Kawaan Short. The Seahawks have struggled against dominant DT’s (just like everyone else, duh) like Donald (Rams) and Atkins (Bengals) and short led the league at his position with 11 sacks and 16 tackles for a loss. The man tasked with going after QB Newton has sacked him 7 times in 4 games-OLB Irvin it’s time to do what you do. HAVE AT IT YOU RAPSCALLIONS!

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Doktor Zymm

Oh hey! The Panthers scored another TD to celebrate my pizza arriving! How nice of them 🙂

JustStopDude
...

I like it when batshit insane people leave absolutely no doubt about their mental state.

blaxabbath

What up all? Just taking a yard work break (clearing ‘growth’ from the side of the house) and see the most dangerous team in the post season seems to be nothing more than a paper tiger.

Doktor Zymm

Paper cat << actual cat

Romonobyl

Operation Consume Breakfast Tacos was executed with resounding success.

blackroseMD1

I’m currently launching Operation Pork Breakfast.

Bacon, eggs, biscuits, sausage patties and ham steaks.

Damn, my heart seized up a bit just typing that. Screw you heart, I do what I want!

ThePirateSloth

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Sharkbait

What is that? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/33035/jelly-doughnut-o.gif

Sill Bimmons

Gillian Anderson can still get it.

...

I think she’s actually more attractive now than when she did the X-Files the first time.

Sill Bimmons
King Hippo

Looks like my fake gambling losing streak might finally, mercifully end.

evilbeaver8

It would be cool if the X-Files revival turns out to be decent.

ThePirateSloth

Just like my one trip that one time to… I digress…. but it looks like a tight end is going to ruin the Seahawks’ trip.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Hey kids! How many controlled explosion and jet fuel jokes have I missed? Gotta be a lot, right?

Sill Bimmons

Several!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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...

Two whole planes full, to be exact.

Sill Bimmons

WHAT ABOUT SHANKSVILLE

Sharkbait

Seattle is imploding faster than 7WTC

ballsofsteelandfury

Our site apparently hates imgur.

Other than that, we cool.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Just gotta use the right link my good man.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I was coming in with a “Seattle is performing a controlled implosion” HOT TAEK and thought – everybody has made that one already, right?

John Difool

“We’re getting FEMA camped out there guys, I want you to go out there and take control of that field like it’s the Bundy Ranch….”
-Pete Carroll

Redshirt

Did Seattle show up yet?

Sill Bimmons

Nope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Panthers are still frauding it.

JustStopDude

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ballsofsteelandfury

This needs to be a banner quote.

Sill Bimmons

“Oswald acted alone!”

— not P. Carroll

Sharkbait

The Russian I work with still gets angry about all the runs up the middle in football.

Doktor Zymm

That’s a really random thing to get angry about. Good for him!

The Maestro

I was literally just about to say this myself, actually!

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha! I get his point. My mom says the same thing.

Romonobyl

That’s no way to get past a wall.

...

Russians are an odd bunch that I think just like to be a bit contrarian for the sake of it.

JustStopDude
ballsofsteelandfury

We’re all going to get laid!

King Hippo

Nah, you gotta make sure you keep Philly Brown blanketed, no matter what.

Doktor Zymm

Run Plays : Good.

litre_cola

Ummm so when is the next game. This was not worth waking up for.

Brick Meathook

I haven’t been to sleep yet, son.

ssi_bulldawg

They might want to cover him. He seems like he’s pretty good

Sill Bimmons

Not that I want anything good to happen to the C-Hox, but they might want to cover that guy.

Senor Weaselo

Sandra Bullock must be pissed.

Romonobyl

Wouldn’t you be if you have haunting mental images of Jesse James naked?

Senor Weaselo

And now I have the jibblies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgOKUONFtfU

Gratliff
King Hippo

Michael Oher is a fucking idiot

ThePirateSloth

I knew I should not have shaved off my beard.

ballsofsteelandfury

You can always blame your gf.

ThePirateSloth

Ain’t got one.

#foreveralone

ballsofsteelandfury

D’oh!

King Hippo

JOIN THE CLUB!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too!

Sill Bimmons

NEVER SHAVE THE BEARD

/19 years and counting

ThePirateSloth

I forget what I look like, so I shave it off from time to time. This was not the week to do it.

Sill Bimmons

SHUT UP ABOUT THE FIELD BOTH TEAMS HAVE TO PLAY ON IT

ballsofsteelandfury

If Tolbert was white, Green Bay’s love for Kuhn would be dwarfed by Charlotte’s love for him.

Romonobyl

I’m having uncomfortable flashbacks of a certain Thanksgiving day game when a certain Texas-based football club was summarily destroyed by the opposing team.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
evilbeaver8

“Too urban”
-Roger Moore

King Hippo

tsk, tsk, SeaTruther D. Tis a poor musician who blames his instrument.

Brick Meathook

To all the SEATTLEFREUDE fans: will you also enjoy the CAROLINAFREUDE?

Also, put all your money into oil and energy stocks. That’s my advice.

...

Carolina has yet to become insufferable. Plus, Cam Newton’s success will drive people I hate crazy.

Sill Bimmons

This.

makeitsnowondem

hey guys i just woke up has anyone scored

Sill Bimmons

yep carolina twice

Romonobyl

But does crude oil burn hot enough?

Sill Bimmons

The Altima is the most non-standout car this side of the Corolla.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, but the girl is hot.

Sill Bimmons

You are not wrong.

She would not get in your Altima though.

JustStopDude

I had a corolla in the middle east. I legitimately tried to destroy that car I hated it so much. Second worst rental car I’ve ever had.

The worst being a PT Crusier.

The Maestro

A PT Cruiser? Dude, I’m so sorry for you.

Sill Bimmons

I rented a KIA Rio about 10 years ago.

That was the worst car ever.

Sill Bimmons

What’s with the dead birds thing?

Doktor Zymm

It’s an artist’s impression of the game so far.

Sill Bimmons

Ah.

Makes sense now.

John Difool

“That’s Russell Wilson’s oil spill…”
-Macklemore

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Who would have thunk that wildlife and crude oil don’t mix?

Gratliff

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King Hippo

Short AGAIN!

Romonobyl

Maybe, but it has girth!

oh…that.

Romonobyl

I’m enjoying this case of Seattlefreude.

Sharkbait

Is this how it feels when New England loses?

Sill Bimmons

Not nearly as freude.

Senor Weaselo

Multiply it by a factor of 10.

Romonobyl

Maybe 100.

Sill Bimmons

Hahahaha.

Unger for Graham.

That worked.

Senor Weaselo

Did Max Unger play basketball? I don’t think so.

Sill Bimmons

Strong take.

The Maestro

I just sat down and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

Sill Bimmons

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ssi_bulldawg

Cam returned a kickoff for a TD and then he kicked insides, recovered it, and even though t is illegal, returned the recovery for a TD. Peter King is going to lose his goddamned mind

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Okay, last one for now :
http://i.imgur.com/Y6nQ6Da.gif

Brick Meathook

I saw this funny image once, and let me tell you, it was a hoot. I wish you could have seen it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Toki needs therapy.
Or maybe a return visit to the Rockarooni Funcamp.