Your “CAN’T YOU DO THIS ONE SIMPLE THING?” Friday Night Open Thread

David Blatt has been fired. Who is he? Damned if I know. I think it has something to do with the NBA so it really doesn’t matter right now. There are tons of NBA games on this evening that I don’t care about. I must say that as far dominant teams are concerned Golden State is so much more interesting than the “take no prisoners” Bulls teams way back when. The Aussie Open features plenty of tennis balls going back and forth. Fun! The only canuck team on the ice tonight is the Ottawa Sens. SO MUCH YOUNG TALENT GOING TO WASTE BECAUSE UNDER-PERFORMING GM/CANCER VICTIM (BRYAN MURRAY) WON’T GET FIRED. Contracting the cancer was a genius stroke by Murray. Now he gets to hold on to his job because firing him would be bad pub. Men’s college ball features all kinds of lesser-known programs that tend to go one-and-done during the end of the year tourney.

Screw all this-drink/drug/fuck your brains out. START WITH THE TYPING, MONGRELS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait
Senor Weaselo

I got out just in time, it started here in Queens once I got on my bus home.

Sharkbait

Nice. Glad you got out of dodge. Unfortunately, I’m referring to equipment shitting the bed and me being on a conference call for close to 3 hours now because it’s my on call week for work

Senor Weaselo

I’m supposed to be playing a show at 6:30 tomorrow. I think we all only-sort-of-secretly hope it gets cancelled. But yeah, even if everything won’t break from the weather, it’ll probably break.

WCS

I guess we can assume Hippo was eaten by #SNOWGHAZI?

theeWeeBabySeamus

We barely got shite here (8-12″ my ass, weather channel fucks) and he’s further southeast than me….so it’s doubtful.

More likely he has drifted off into an opiate aided slumber. Lucky sumbitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WEATHER CHANNEL CAN NOT PREDICT EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT MY HOUSE!! THEY SUCK BALLS!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

/damn right

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This response; didn’t work out quite like I planned…..

Doktor Zymm

That reminds me…I need to check if my sewing machine works. It’s an old one inherited from an upholsterer my mom knew back when she was a kid. It should be able to easily sew leather. I’m making myself a leather hat/scarf lined with bunny and with two skunk pelts as the neck piece. I have 10 bunny pelts, which is more than I need to line the hat, but I haven’t decided what to do with the rest yet. Also, the skunk pelts are tubes, basically just hollow skunks, so I might seal up the mouths, add a zipper and make them into scarf pockets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mine is more of a summer suggestion.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; don’t try to take the sword through airport security.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve accidentally snuck enough knives through, it probably wouldn’t be that hard for a sword.

JerBear50

Not the direction I thought you were going when you started on sewing leather. Nevertheless, that should make for a really nice warm hat. And maybe angry people throwing paint at you.

Doktor Zymm

Anyone throws paint on me I’ll kick their hippy asses. There’s still a fair amount of fur in Chicago, though on the young people it’s mostly fake. No one gives a shit about leather though. PETA is full of it.

JerBear50

PETA is fucking terrible. I’m all about treating animals well, but PETA is just ridiculous.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/resists making the “fair amount of fur in Chicago” joke
//very proud of self

Senor Weaselo

You don’t know how to skin things, do you?

/Makes note to self: If she says yes, don’t piss off the good Doktor lest you become her blouse

JerBear50

Buffalo Zymm?

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I let other people do that. I did know a guy in college who tanned his own leather and that has forever afterwards influenced my opinion of people from New Hampshire. Also, I had someone show me how to field dress a goose once, but I don’t really remember it.

Porky Prime

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JustStopDude

Crap..I’ve been walking for hours to try and stay awake. I came back here to rest my feet…and of course my room is being cleaned.

First world problems are the worst…

Sharkbait

I mean have you SEEN the price of Prosciutto lately?

WCS

Sorry, man. My PCP guy is snowed in.

theeWeeBabySeamus

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODAwWDgwMA==/$T2eC16R,!y0E9s2S6corBR7K3vBCDg~~60_35.JPG

theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea what happened there.

Porky Prime

Good ol’ Double A.

Sharkbait

I hate being on call. Shit is broken in New York and I’ve been on a bridge for 2 hours now. Luckily nobody can see me or my bourbon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bridge Bourbles?
Good times.

laserguru

I love this damn band too much.

Local boys from Covina, CA I believe. Neighbors to Mike Ness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4fD4BNMH78

WCS

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I’ll say this: #SNOWGHAZI has been plenty worse in Yinzburgh than they said all week it’d be. 1-3 inches at most; there’s already four or five out there. Made for an unexpectedly exciting drive home. Had to pee three times in an old Diet Pepsi can.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You Sir, apparently have very good aim.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is the excitement due to the rust?

WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

So I’m doing this weird Korean foot peel mask thing and I can’t help but think of Rex Ryan. It’s a weird combination of girly and really, really not girly.

Beerguyrob

Grandma! Get out of my study!

Don T

Home for the first time since Tuesday. Pantsless goes without saying. It IS the Internet, after all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It it weird that since reading your comment I’ve been unable to get this song out of my head?
Yes, I suppose it probably is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz2buo856sQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Owning a Prius was brought up below; a guy at work had one and people would randomly flip him off, yell shit, try to get their Dodge RAMs as close as possible , cut him off, etc. He is a normal driver, a political centrist, no bumper stickers, no clown make up, etc. He had a kid and decided to sell it even though he liked it for commuter driving and the fuel savings because he didn’t want that bullshit to happen with his kid in the car. His other car is an Xtera and that shit didn’t happen in that car. Pretentious indeed.

Doktor Zymm

That’s pretty messed up. Could have to do with where he lived? I can easily see that happening in some places, less so in others.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Colorado; it is a mix between rednecks and lefties.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He never drove it to South Park, but he has been there in his Xtera.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, when you said that it just reminded me of this. I borrowed my uncle’s for a while and got some of that but not to that extent. Also I didn’t really like the car except for the traction was good and a constant 46 mph even though I was seeing what the electric motor would do.

ballsofsteelandfury

I thought the pot would mellow out the redneck Coloradoians. (Colorados? No offense.)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Take a drive through Colorado Springs or out in the eastern part of the state. It is a mix, but some areas are really right.

The rural; “Colaraaadins” the politicians My fellow Coloradans.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the chili was hot enough without the hot sauce I added.

http://57.media.tumblr.com/d4d6656c9745a321a366d1ad3166aa6a/tumblr_musntvl8kE1qzqnxxo1_500.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

I LOVE pussy liquors.

laserguru
theeWeeBabySeamus

I have that flick on DVD but have never gotten around to watching it. Worth it?

laserguru

I’ve seen it about 17 times so yes

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha….yes, that sounds affirmative.

laserguru

“We’re gonna get fucked up and do fucked up shit!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Worry not folks, even I’m tired of the cat/snow theme now.
But, maybe just one more….
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King Hippo

Both of my cats asked me to type “you’re goddamned right!!”

Sill Bimmons

72 episode Duckman Youtube marathon playlist?

LET IT SNOW

Doktor Zymm

Damn, my radiators are really working today. I mean, it’s not that cold out, just around freezing, but it’s 77 in my apartment. Way too hot for my fuzzy robe. I’m in my cotton and thinking of switching to my summer silk robe.

ballsofsteelandfury

That is how you ride out the cold, people! Well done!

King Hippo

Those sound like the radiators in my freshman dorm. We would only turn them on in the room when it got THIS weenie-shrinking cold, and even then, you’d have to crack the window to keep from asphyxiating.

laserguru

I’ll be sippin’ some Maker’s along with a couple of these:

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laserguru

Jesus!

Actual size.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t really have a exclamation like that, but I thought it was very good too.

laserguru

She is a tasty one.

jjfozz

Scuba Steve scene, still funny as fuck

theeWeeBabySeamus

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is one of the greatest clips ever.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.
Her smug was palpable. I bet she drives a Prius.

nomonkeyfun

Of course she does.

/Says the asshole who plans to bike to work on Mon in NYC.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha….touché.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking assholes who try to save some gasoline!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

/Looks at Dodge Challenger
//Regrets nothing…NOTHING!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

///sits in traffic 2 mph

////listens to bitchin’ stereo

Beastmode Ate My Baby

/////lives in small, still semi-rural area, avoids rush hour
//////sat in Portland rush hour in it once, cried

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds like you have roads to actually drive it on.

Old School Zero

That happened in walking distance from the apartment I’m moving out of.

Fucking Portland snow days.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is awesome!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fozz is under there somewhere. 😉

Doktor Zymm

I love giving in to my antisocial tendencies and spending a Friday at home alone. I was social at lunch, that’s plenty for the next few days.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Antisocial tendencies are underrated in my opinion.

nomonkeyfun

You aren’t being anti-social. You’re chilling with your imaginary friends.

laserguru

Home!

Let’s get giggity giggity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVrVY540xdc

jjfozz

Zoo lander 2 – maybe not

jjfozz

Jack Sparrow in Prates of the Carribean ride – like painting an extra apostle into The Last Supper by Da Vinci

Beastmode Ate My Baby

More like painting in Bozo the Clown, but I get your point.

jjfozz

That’s what I was going for – still mad about that

nomonkeyfun

Da fuck.

Is Mr Toad’s wild ride still there?
That was my Dad’s favorite. He’s told me much later he spent his whole Disney time stoned on LSD or really good weed.

laserguru

Disneyland on LSD is one of the greatest experiences of my life. Riding Mr. Toad under those conditions was life altering.

“Dude, we went to Hell!”

nomonkeyfun

My Mom also had to slip my Dad a xanax to get him to go on Spce Mountain.

/I think he might b e the biggest druggie I’ve ever known.and my siste and I love him for it.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

http://media1.giphy.com/media/oQvpRPoB6BCyk/giphy.gif

Random Tom & Jerry gif. Because fuck Burneko!

jjfozz

Button fly jeans, I don’t care what u think

nomonkeyfun

They suck,…. but for quite small guys, in terms of stature, like me they are the quite often the only option.

Don T

I’m a fan of button fly. Big fan.

Well I care what I think. Oh, a lizard!
/scurries away

Don T
MikeWallaceAndGromit

Hummus, pita chips, and beer for dinner. Because who gives a shit?

King Hippo

Life is pointless until Sunday. Because on Sunday, there will be footy again. And the Commentists will rejoice. Amen.

Doktor Zymm

I had bagels with butter, chive cream cheese and red wine. It was very enjoyable.

JustStopDude

Dear god I am exhausted. Since about 5am Thursday (eastern time zone)…I have had about five hours of sleep. Its now 9pm there…Friday. So…11am Sat here…or something.

I’m trying to stay up to adjust to the time zone change so I can work on Monday. Turned on my computer to about a BAJILLION emails.

Turns out the project I am still taking bids on for equipment, I was supposed to have the final drawings to the customer 14 weeks ago. Apparently the sales people sat on the project for 12 weeks and never told me there was a time crunch involved. So I got all these shitty emails from management pissed at me (along with the anger that I wasn’t answering their emails or calls while I was over the fucking Pacific).

And of course…the one shady manager is CC-ing on a bunch of site visit emails behind the back of my current manager. For some reason this fucker thinks I can just take any assignment and I will bail his ass out…without telling my boss or some shit. Fuck if I know.

I swear to god its like I work for a nuthouse.

JustStopDude

And of course…there is not one fucking English channel on the TV. I wouldn’t normally just sit in the room and watch TV…but I am so fucking tired I can’t keep walking around…

Doktor Zymm

Not even CNN? There’s usually at least one news channel in English, if not that blows. If you have access to a pool, that’s a good way to stay awake. You sound like you need a new job, best of luck working with those assholes.

JustStopDude

No pool. No english channels. I feel like Andre the Giant in this hotel room. I seriously have to move a chair just to open my one suitcase.

And I can’t get used to heated toilet seats. I like a bit of chill when I first sit down.

ballsofsteelandfury

Where the hell did they put you up? Did you at least bring a tablet or something to watch shows?

nomonkeyfun

Tell us how you really feel.

Also, while you’re in fetish land; let us know about the most bizarre vending machine you see.

jjfozz

Time to clean house and fuck some shit up. I’m in, by the way.

Sill Bimmons

Watching “World At War” marathon playlist on YouTube.

It’s a 1970 26-part Thames TV documentary series about WWII narrated by Laurence Olivier.

The only problem with it is that it is very Eurocentric, a clear product of its place and time.

nomonkeyfun

It’s fucking incredible. I’ve probably seen it 4 times.

I always thought it was Brit centric, not Euro centric. Don’t know how far you are, but the Russians and us Yanks get serious short shrift.

And Traudl.Junge was a GILFY babe.

/Is going to hell for that.

Sill Bimmons

The British had a large role in the early part of the Pacific conflict.

I guess it’s because they got their asses kicked so thoroughly there that it is underemphasized.

nomonkeyfun

And they were basically done after Slim surrendered Singapore,a nd the ABCD command got wiped off.

At least until Task Force 45 I think went out east.

nomonkeyfun

I’m sorry meant Percival, not Slim.

jjfozz

I got that bitch on DVD

Don T

After last Sunday’s Steelers-Broncos game I saw something I thought was impossible: James Harrison was congratulating Peyton Manning AND SMILING! James Harrison smiled at the enemy and he was heartful. That did it: fuck cynicism.
I have always hated Peyton Manning. I will only enjoy any good thing that he does Sunday. The rest, well: he lost it last year, and has been playing with a fused neck for three years. The first of which was his career season. Oh yeah: ridicule becomes him.
The Patriots are the best organization in sports. Tom Brady is playing better than ever. New England gets lots of attention for merit reasons, not NFC-East media slobbering. Gronk’s not a bad watch either.
Heard there’s a blizzard; my condolences. I hope that you have the same good fortune I did the only three years I’ve been snowed in: Chinese delivery violating labor laws and common decency.
Enjoy the NBA—I’m with Seamus: I just can’t. But I will not put it down. Hockey, man I could really get into hockey. (Looks at pictures on desk) Ah, a bourgeois lifestyle is important. Still, sucked for Minnesota that the North Stars moved to Dallas. College basketball. Something not negative.
Ron Rivera for President.

http://beachpackagingdesign.com/wp-content/uploads/boxvox/6a00e54f0014bd88340133f4bccf7a970b.jpg

King Hippo

In PPP’s last NC Governor and Senate polling, they tested Ron Rivera’s favorability. He received a better split (85/4) than they recalled any other figure receiving, and apparently they’ve polled Jesus before.

Don T

We got one in the Supreme Court already. Fase 2 is working splendidly.??

jjfozz

Would you rather take a good shit or have bad sex?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Number 2.

?

JustStopDude

Good shit.

I’ve been in some CRAZY S&M relationships. When that sex goes wrong…people can die.

nomonkeyfun

Because I’m not with a girl, in my case. I agree with Britt. No 2.

ballsofsteelandfury

A good shit is glorious.

ballsofsteelandfury

Both at the same time?

King Hippo

I’m sure everyone was super concerned…but the Duke/NC State game tomorrow WILL be played as scheduled!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of scotchy, I just busted out the Caol Ila. I figure a few more and I’ll burn away this head cold that’s been nagging me for days and preventing me from walking across to DC to bars where people I tolerate are hanging out.

jjfozz

You know what’s nice? Boobs.

Doktor Zymm

Whenever I see a really fat guy, I just assume he wanted his own set of boobs.

nomonkeyfun

Dok,

I had to refresh just to give a plus one for that comment.
Can we use “C”‘s, now that we have left.[redacted]?

King Hippo

we now MUST, as members of Glorious Commentist Party

nomonkeyfun

Oc, I will cicc anyone’s ass, who doesn’t sat boobs are really great. Even really straight girls, because you can use them to get so many things.

Lothar of the Hill People

If the GOP hadn’t torpedoed ability to hire new personnel by the agency I’m in the process of being hired by, I’d be in the middle of Snowzilla.

So maybe I have to thank the GOP for saving my back from shoveling 2 feet of snow?

jjfozz

Getting shit bombed by Jonas so it’s:

FULL oN BORBLE U FUCK MOnKEYS!

King Hippo

The workers are (staying) home:

HAI from my ice prison as well. Oxycodone WOO

nomonkeyfun

Fuck You Fozz for buying into this naming winter storm crap.

I’m fairly into getting Whiskabled this evening, in anticipation of tomorrow.

Also, I want to give hearty FUCK YOU, to snow storms that come on Fri night or Saturday.

I love the snow, but why can’t you give me a day off work? Why you fucking bastards?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And Slate made it clear: this is DavidSnowie

Doktor Zymm

I’m staying in tonight, but it’s occurring to me that I can start going out on weeknights again. I’m gonna party myself silly come Tuesday!

laserguru

Yet I’m still at work for another hour or so.

It’s times like these when I can see the allure of not working at all.

Doktor Zymm

It’s great except for the uncertainty and lack of pay. I plan on retiring as early as possible. I’m not an idle person, I just like to use my time how I choose rather than going to a place at a time and trying to look busy when I’ve already finished everything there is to do. Is everyone goofing off 60-80% of the time, or am I just more productive than average?

King Hippo

yes

laserguru

God bless your Canuck soul, Scotchy.

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