Your “OY! WHO’S UP FOR A HATE-WATCH, THEN?” AFC Championship Open Thread

Why must I be a football fan? It’s not a particularly pleasant hobby to have during this run of Pats dominance. I think this is their fifth straight appearance in this game. OOF! That’s tough to swallow. It’s not hard to envision myself in a simpler time. I can see it now. [screen goes all wavy wavy] Me and my buddies are just back from the hunt, having brought down a noble stag. There’s plenty of mead to be quaffed as we warm our balls by the large fire. It’s damn cold but there are smiles all round.

Soon talk centers on the threat from the East. The land- and power-hungry Quinnzealots have won a number of skirmishes with our neighbouring tribes and will be soon threatening our (The Allthatisgoodnauts) borders. Word has reached us that they are led by a charismatic warrior, Large Teeth. Some say that his successes are due to a shadowy black-robed druid that possesses uncanny powers that cloud the minds of those who oppose him. During battle one does not know where the Quinnzealots will attack from-when they come for you it could be from the left, perhaps the right, sometimes from the trees above, all without warning. Their small yet rabid foot soldiers buzz around one’s ankles so quickly that it is difficult to hit them with your sword. T’will be a difficult task to defeat them-that much is certain.

Well that’s just great. THE PATS DOMINATE MY ALTERNATE HISTORIES AS WELL. On to the game, I guess. The venerable Hippo could break this game down much better than I could so I’ll just toss some nougats (not nuggets!) out there. The Gronk has 6 TD’s in as many games against Denver but it’s something of a boom/bust thing. Three TD’s came in one tilt and he’s been held to as little as 35 yards in another. Brady is 2-6 in Denver over his career which bodes well for the Orange Horsies. Denver led the league with 52 sacks but in order to be successful they must get pressure from the middle of the line and not the edge because Brady lets go of the ball in just over two seconds on those quick hitters to the Amendolas and Edelmans of the receiving corps. Hochuli is the ref and we are blessed with Jim “Prominent Masters apologist and serial philanderer” Nance and Phil “safe to say Morehouse State didn’t have an Elocution elective” Seems. THERE IS GLORY IN TYPING…SO TYPE!!!

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fleshwound_NPG

Please Denver rushing game, do something so Manning’s arm does not fly off in the 3rd.

Doktor Zymm

That was the platonic ideal of a perfect play.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

THIS GUY BRADY I CALL HIM TOM THE CAT, BECAUSE HE’S GETTING ABUSED FOR OUR ENJOYMENT!
/Once again, fuck Burneko!

WCS

Is Tom Brady done? My column….

— Bill Simmons

American Pie Story

THIS GAME IS SO BEAUTIFUL

Spur

Eat shit Brady.

Brick Meathook

BRADY SMUSHED

Beastmode Ate My Baby

BRADYCEPTION 2: ELECTRIC BOOGAFUCKYOU

blackroseMD1

Dreamboatception part deux!

Sill Bimmons

yessss

Gratliff

Holy shit. This might happen.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

King Hippo

FUCKING YES

Smithchez

OH YES. MORE OF THAT. SO MUCH MORE OF THAT.

Dunstan

I need to change my underwear again

The Maestro

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

ThursdaySkyGoddess

MOAR DREAMBOATCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

DREAMBOATCEPTION 2: HOLYSHITALOO

Huzzah

Dick E. Phuck

I like this game

jjfozz

That was sweeter than my first time getting laid

ballsofsteelandfury

And lasted longer?

jjfozz

And I’m way more sober

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TOMMY TURNOVER DOES IT AGAIN!

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Gratliff

Oh good. They’re working. I bet those fucks didn’t even put in a ticket.

Spur

So they turned them on and off again?

makeitsnowondem

I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about the Microsoft Surface. I have one and it’s

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….I see what you did there.

Tablet Dome

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Sometimes I jerk off to Ed Hochuli. What can I say, Buddy has fetishes and daddy issues!

ballsofsteelandfury

You be you, buddy, you be you.

JustStopDude

Oh and in Sumo news…HUGE result…

Sumo in the last 10 or so years has been utterly dominated by foreigners, so much so that now there is a ban on any stable having more than one at a time.

http://d1udmfvw0p7cd2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/sp-basho-a-20160125-620×348.jpg

Ozeki Kotoshogiku won the New Year tournament yesterday and is the first Japanese born Sumo to do so in 10 years.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn…I bet on the other big fat asian guy.

JustStopDude

Actually…of late its been bet on the Bulgarian or the Egyptian.

http://d1udmfvw0p7cd2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/n-tellinglives-b-20150108.jpg

makeitsnowondem

Looked to me like he got back in bounds. I don’t know.

Brick Meathook

Why is there an armed guard on the field behind Hochuli?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sun’s out, guns out?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rock out…

blackroseMD1

Denver just keeps racking up dumbass penalties.

jjfozz

How in fuck is that unsportsmanlike?

Looks like we’re back to SOP with the Pats adn the refs.

King Hippo

fucking dumb asshole

Sill Bimmons

KONSPIRAMUGUSEY

JustStopDude

Konitchiwa!

Just woke up. Saw I got a text message from my contact.

“JSD-san. Factory closed. Call soon. Don’t move”

So…fuck…I would try and watch the game online, but wifi in Japan is so damn shitty it takes like 20 minutes to comment on this fucking website.

ballsofsteelandfury

Go to that crazy bar! It’s Monday, isn’t it?

JustStopDude

Bar won’t open until very late, if it even does so due to the weather.

Its not a lot of snow at all. I was walking around yesterday and it was maybe four inches. But the roads are crazy narrow and its extremely hilly here. Plus four inches is well more than what the region gets for a year. So there are no plows.

So everything is shutting down. Luckily I still have cigarette vending machines every five feet.

litre_cola

You would think their wifi would be advanced considering their electronics etc.

JustStopDude

Dude…fax machines still dominate business communication here. The average young Japanese person can’t use a computer because all they use are phones. Its weird what they are very good at and what they don’t use.

King Hippo

good evading the rush, nobody fucking open. ugh

litre_cola

Phil Simms is really grating on me today and I am pretty stoned.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So Tom, did you smoke any grass while you were in Denver?
No, but I ate some.

Fronkenshteen

Great. Curt fucking Schilling all over again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen a Brady get pounded that hard by a succession of large black men since Robert Reed took that “vacation” to Haiti.

Redshirt

If you can make God bleed, soon people will stop believing in Him.

makeitsnowondem

We got a bleeder.

Spur
ThePirateSloth
jjfozz

Whenever a drop of Brady’s blood hits the ground, a rose immediately blooms

fleshwound_NPG

BEHOLD THE GOD THAT BLEEDS

Doktor Zymm
Dick E. Phuck

“Execute order 66.”
-Belichick

makeitsnowondem

This game is the best Apple ad I’ve ever seen.

litre_cola

I would love if a microsoft ad came on after that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It would be a blank screen.

American Pie Story

Come on, all I want is to see Brady sob like a little kid.

Gratliff

Soon!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I suspect a tear fueled tantrum is far more likely.

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