Why must I be a football fan? It’s not a particularly pleasant hobby to have during this run of Pats dominance. I think this is their fifth straight appearance in this game. OOF! That’s tough to swallow. It’s not hard to envision myself in a simpler time. I can see it now. [screen goes all wavy wavy] Me and my buddies are just back from the hunt, having brought down a noble stag. There’s plenty of mead to be quaffed as we warm our balls by the large fire. It’s damn cold but there are smiles all round.
Soon talk centers on the threat from the East. The land- and power-hungry Quinnzealots have won a number of skirmishes with our neighbouring tribes and will be soon threatening our (The Allthatisgoodnauts) borders. Word has reached us that they are led by a charismatic warrior, Large Teeth. Some say that his successes are due to a shadowy black-robed druid that possesses uncanny powers that cloud the minds of those who oppose him. During battle one does not know where the Quinnzealots will attack from-when they come for you it could be from the left, perhaps the right, sometimes from the trees above, all without warning. Their small yet rabid foot soldiers buzz around one’s ankles so quickly that it is difficult to hit them with your sword. T’will be a difficult task to defeat them-that much is certain.
Well that’s just great. THE PATS DOMINATE MY ALTERNATE HISTORIES AS WELL. On to the game, I guess. The venerable Hippo could break this game down much better than I could so I’ll just toss some nougats (not nuggets!) out there. The Gronk has 6 TD’s in as many games against Denver but it’s something of a boom/bust thing. Three TD’s came in one tilt and he’s been held to as little as 35 yards in another. Brady is 2-6 in Denver over his career which bodes well for the Orange Horsies. Denver led the league with 52 sacks but in order to be successful they must get pressure from the middle of the line and not the edge because Brady lets go of the ball in just over two seconds on those quick hitters to the Amendolas and Edelmans of the receiving corps. Hochuli is the ref and we are blessed with Jim “Prominent Masters apologist and serial philanderer” Nance and Phil “safe to say Morehouse State didn’t have an Elocution elective” Seems. THERE IS GLORY IN TYPING…SO TYPE!!!
Please Denver rushing game, do something so Manning’s arm does not fly off in the 3rd.
That was the platonic ideal of a perfect play.
THIS GUY BRADY I CALL HIM TOM THE CAT, BECAUSE HE’S GETTING ABUSED FOR OUR ENJOYMENT!
/Once again, fuck Burneko!
Is Tom Brady done? My column….
— Bill Simmons
THIS GAME IS SO BEAUTIFUL
Eat shit Brady.
BRADY SMUSHED
BRADYCEPTION 2: ELECTRIC BOOGAFUCKYOU
Dreamboatception part deux!
yessss
Holy shit. This might happen.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FUCKING YES
OH YES. MORE OF THAT. SO MUCH MORE OF THAT.
I need to change my underwear again
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
MOAR DREAMBOATCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DREAMBOATCEPTION 2: HOLYSHITALOO
Huzzah
I like this game
That was sweeter than my first time getting laid
And lasted longer?
And I’m way more sober
TOMMY TURNOVER DOES IT AGAIN!
Oh good. They’re working. I bet those fucks didn’t even put in a ticket.
So they turned them on and off again?
I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about the Microsoft Surface. I have one and it’s
Hehehehe….I see what you did there.
Tablet Dome
Sometimes I jerk off to Ed Hochuli. What can I say, Buddy has fetishes and daddy issues!
You be you, buddy, you be you.
Oh and in Sumo news…HUGE result…
Sumo in the last 10 or so years has been utterly dominated by foreigners, so much so that now there is a ban on any stable having more than one at a time.
http://d1udmfvw0p7cd2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/sp-basho-a-20160125-620×348.jpg
Ozeki Kotoshogiku won the New Year tournament yesterday and is the first Japanese born Sumo to do so in 10 years.
Damn…I bet on the other big fat asian guy.
Actually…of late its been bet on the Bulgarian or the Egyptian.
http://d1udmfvw0p7cd2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/n-tellinglives-b-20150108.jpg
Looked to me like he got back in bounds. I don’t know.
Why is there an armed guard on the field behind Hochuli?
Sun’s out, guns out?
Rock out…
Denver just keeps racking up dumbass penalties.
How in fuck is that unsportsmanlike?
Looks like we’re back to SOP with the Pats adn the refs.
fucking dumb asshole
KONSPIRAMUGUSEY
Konitchiwa!
Just woke up. Saw I got a text message from my contact.
“JSD-san. Factory closed. Call soon. Don’t move”
So…fuck…I would try and watch the game online, but wifi in Japan is so damn shitty it takes like 20 minutes to comment on this fucking website.
Go to that crazy bar! It’s Monday, isn’t it?
Bar won’t open until very late, if it even does so due to the weather.
Its not a lot of snow at all. I was walking around yesterday and it was maybe four inches. But the roads are crazy narrow and its extremely hilly here. Plus four inches is well more than what the region gets for a year. So there are no plows.
So everything is shutting down. Luckily I still have cigarette vending machines every five feet.
You would think their wifi would be advanced considering their electronics etc.
Dude…fax machines still dominate business communication here. The average young Japanese person can’t use a computer because all they use are phones. Its weird what they are very good at and what they don’t use.
good evading the rush, nobody fucking open. ugh
Phil Simms is really grating on me today and I am pretty stoned.
So Tom, did you smoke any grass while you were in Denver?
No, but I ate some.
Great. Curt fucking Schilling all over again.
I haven’t seen a Brady get pounded that hard by a succession of large black men since Robert Reed took that “vacation” to Haiti.
If you can make God bleed, soon people will stop believing in Him.
We got a bleeder.
http://i.imgur.com/MTPaRmV.gif
https://twitter.com/AndyCole84/status/691368996696772608
Whenever a drop of Brady’s blood hits the ground, a rose immediately blooms
BEHOLD THE GOD THAT BLEEDS
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-39836-white-goodman-nobody-makes-me-07uB.gif
Brady getting hit montage!
http://media2.giphy.com/media/j50v9vd9rbhjG/giphy.gif
“Execute order 66.”
-Belichick
This game is the best Apple ad I’ve ever seen.
I would love if a microsoft ad came on after that.
It would be a blank screen.
Come on, all I want is to see Brady sob like a little kid.
Soon!
I suspect a tear fueled tantrum is far more likely.