Possibly the most unproductive work week in North America kicks off tonight. HUZZAH! But first, what brings us here:
Free Agency: the thrill is gone after the first week. Not much left to cover until the draft in 43 days. Still,
- CJ Anderson – staying in Denver! Now he’ll just have to figure out Nacho’s “GONORRHEA!” signals.
- the Patriots traded Chandler Jones to Arizona for Jonathan Cooper and a second-round pick, which they will turn into a receiver the size of which will make Edelman look like Gronk.
- Mike Wallace to the Ravens. This will turn out both underwhelming and over-analyzed.
- Filling J.R. Sweezy’s hole on the right side for the Seahawks will be J’Marcus Webb. Somebody check on commentist Beastmode Ate My Baby.
Bleacher Report had an “article” about whether the Browns would be all-time bad in 2016. If anyone knows about bad, it’s Bleacher Report.
Politics:
Today’s the day when we find out if Kasich and/or Rubio are done. Since they are “winner take all” primaries, if either one can win their home state, then it makes Cleveland in July so much more fun than simply spending 3 hours at the Thirsty Parrot before an Indians game. If Trump takes one or both, then it’s going to be interesting watching the mainstream of the party try to put the genie back in the bottle before the convention.
What are the “open carry” laws in Ohio? Because I’m sure that will come up a time or two before the delegates arrive.
Why do the Democrats have twice as many delegates available as the Republicans? It makes them seem desperate to make the convention look full. History note: it’s been 28 years since the 1988 Rob Lowe convention scandal. He and Robert Downey Jr. are bulletproof.
Question from a Canadian: How much do people actually believe all the stories on Fox News and MSNBC? I went through their sites today while reading up on tonight’s primaries, and I can’t believe anyone would trust these echo chambers. They both read like mutual circle jerks for the left & right. If you told me they were the American equivalent of Pravda and Der Sturmer I wouldn’t think twice.
CNN, meanwhile, has a story about how Jerry Springer thinks Trump was “inevitable”.
Enough talk; get to games! (All times eastern)
NCAA: play-in games (I refuse to call it the “first round”) from Dayton, OH
- #16 Florida Gulf Coast vs #16 Fairleigh Dickinson – 6:40
- #11 Vandy vs #11 Wichita State – 9:10 (or 30 minutes after the first game if late)
Let’s meet the cannon fodder:
That’s enough. If both they and I cared enough, I’d be learning about them on Thursday in the actual first round.
I do like how FGCU has its Chik Fil-A noted on the googlemap, but not a library. According to Tripadvisor, “Fleamaster’s Fleamarket” is the #14 attraction in Fort Myers, below two Spring Training facilities. Fairleigh Dickinson has a campus up here in Vancouver, which kept interfering with my lazy search. It offers programs in Hospitality Management and Business Administration, and is totally not the University of Phoenix.
NHL: (8 games total)
- Islanders @ Penguins – 7:00
- Red Wings @ Flyers – 7:00
- Kings @ Stars – 8:30
- Bruins @ Sharks – 10:00
NBA: (6 games total)
- Celtics @ Pacers – 7:00
- Raptors @ Bucks – 8:00
- Clippers @ Spurs – 8:30
Say goodbye to your loved ones, IT’S TOURNAMENT TIME!
I don’t understand what made Marco Rubio think he was ready to run for POTUS. It’s like Republicans refuse to believe math. Rubio “won” his senate seat because every Republican in the state voted against Charlie Crist, and Crist split the Democratic vote with Kendrick Meek. No one voted FOR Rubio. They had to see that.
Dipshit has also ruined his political career. He’s abandoned his Senate seat. No one is going to vote for him for governor in two years. He has no real talent, so he can’t run anything real for the RNC. Is he going to be a figurehead partner in a Miami law firm? He’s 45 and never really practiced law. Maybe he’ll wind up on FOX NEWS LATINO.
Yup, he’s pretty much cooked.
The 97 Flyers look solid right now.
HillyBob wins North Cakalaky! WOO, Hippo high fives teh black people!!!
You in Durham, huh?
He’s obviously not on Duke’s campus.
Duke’s campus like the cream in the Oreo.
No shit.
And my family basically is all from Durham, so I don’t say this without forethought (but very little malice thereof).
According to the Constitution, shouldn’t that be a high-three?
/with a “no ofence”
Marco Rubio is setting himself up for the middle-right faction of the eventual Republican Party breakup.
scotchy got me ALL fired up on sourdough:
http://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/18/18,1299705760,9/stock-photo-bread-bowl-with-black-bean-soup-on-wood-plank-72831307.jpg
There is a near riot at the Rubio speech at his HQ, trying to explain why he lost…
http://www.sptimes.com/2006/10/21/images/tb_tyronsec.jpg
“If we each put in $12 we can get also get some Taco Bell.” #$8@TB
Elian Gonzales got more support in Florida than Marco Rubio.
Shots are 22-2 with 5 to go in the first. Mrazek should just walk past the locker room and it the door at intermission.
Puts sunglasses on top of head rather than just take them off.
2/10 would not eat out with
Whoops looks like you put an extra word at the end there
I bet she’d make sammiches for only once daily mating.
That’s a plan I could get behind.
Al least she doesn’t put them on backward.
She’s supposedly addicted to penis. I read it on the internet so you know it’s true.
Rubio is going to announce his slogan for his 2020 campaign:
Rubio in ’20: Bitch, I Warned You!
Rubio ’40: Everyone Else Is Finally Dead!
There’s a lot of sourdough crabs out there.
Philly announcers, “That shot had a chance!”
Shot was blocked 20 feet from the net, not technically a shot at all, had no chance.
The despair is obvious in the voices of the wings’ crew. It’s enjoyable
Jim Jackson is worse than HantaAIDS.
So will we get “Quiet, Reflective Rubio”, “Defiant Rubio”, “Drunk, Pissed-off Rubio”?
Im hoping for a pissed off but full endorsement of Kasich
“Bath Salts, Face-Eating Rubio.”
Scarface Rubio?
Pavel Datsyuk on the verge of making a terrible mistake.
http://sonsofpenn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/simmondstoughguy.gif
CNN just called Florida for Orange-Glo.
And now Rubio disappears into the foam…
Florida: Screwing Up Elections Since 2000
Awww shit, Illinois and Missouri are too close to call.
Has Zymm voted yet?
Detroit better get in playoff mode fast because Philly is throwing bombs
For once, someone doesn’t mean that literally.
Holy shit, Flyera!
Holy shit, Michael Raffl
On Demmycrats voting in the GOP primary. One, stop. It’s bad Karma. Let them make and/or cleans up they own mess.
Two, like Will Rogers said, “I don’t belong to any organized political party, I’m a Democrat.” OF COURSE it is all completely scattershot and ineffective pissing in the wind, and just depriving yourself of a voice in your own primaries.
Anyone else loving Breitbart eating its own over Trump?
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/1575858/craig-ferguson-tee-hee-o.gif
Never in my life did I foresee a moment when I would use the words “Ben Shapiro” and “integrity” in the same thought without “total lack of” in there somewhere, but here we are.
Stuck in the car. Goddamned kids. NEEDS MOAR TUSSIN.
JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEINS
Someone mailed Rubes’ DC office blow, and he still can’t finish higher than third in Florida.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/marco-rubios-dc-campaign-office-evacuated-due-suspicious/story?id=37670418
Should have sent foam.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fxBz7WFK1VI/VPpj0Ds2oRI/AAAAAAAABW0/vnbWpwzKUIk/s1600/MakeMe.jpg
OK….let’s at least give this a shot.
/swipes cupcake and runs like hell
“Which one is the crab dip again?”
http://catering.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/crab.jpg
MOAR SOURDOUGH POARN
http://www.foodfotogallery.com/uploaded_images/thick_amp_creamy_loaded_potato_soup_in_a_sourdough_bread_bowl_423868962.jpg
Name five better breads than sourdough. You can’t.
http://droolius.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Droolius_Boudin_Chowder_L.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m586u9bxTO1qb7gbyo1_1280.png
Have a sandwich!
http://www.landolakes.com/RecipeManagementSystem/media/Recipe-Media-Files/Recipes/Retail/Desktop%20Images/08133.jpg
Trump is thumping Rubio in Florida which is funny because HAHAHAHA Rubio.
http://cdn1.bostonmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/AP080502015060.jpg
It’s so funny how weak he and Bush looked on stage during debates. Florida forwarded the saddest candidates of the election.
You go on campaign with the candidates you have, not the candidates you wish you had.
“Sanchez or whoever is playing quarterback is going to do a good job.”
-C.J Anderson on NFL NETWORK, just now
Hey, he may be shit, but we just won a Super Bowl with a fucking corpse!
Don’t want to tell you how to do your business but dipping fresh sourdough bread into warmed-up day-old chili is a one-way trip to heaven.
This is dead-on balls accurate.
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/53/ce/73/mmm-chili-in-a-sourdough.jpg
https://twitter.com/ESPNNFL/status/709859287745609728
Fake-ass Bob Hayes.
Last night there wasn’t shit on and tonight there’s 78 things.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250×250/64502492.jpg
Wasn’t Wesley Snipes legally converted into an IRS tax lien a few years back?
I thought he got around the IRS troubles by going back home to Britain.
Looks like Cruz has his game face for tonight…
http://i.imgur.com/ObgxMMU.gif
Fairly Ridiculous ain’t Hahvahd, but it ain’t U. of Phoenix either.
You know, if the Credit Union make it past U*NC on Thursday, they could face their former coach in the 2nd round.
Pretty unrealistic, though. I’m sure most of us have SC losing to Providence.
When I voted today, I gave Donald Trump’s name on my ballet the finger. I didn’t do anything to Ted Cruz’s name, but that’s only because the State of Ohio won’t accept a ballet with fecal matter on it.
Were you performing Swan Lake or The Nutcracker?
The Credit Union ain’t usin’ a bit of lube on poor Fairleigh Dickinson.
¡VIVA LA DUNK CITY!
I like the new score graphics.
The clock is protesting Donald Trump’s inevitable win in Ohio.
Fairleigh Dickinson all the way.
“Feel sorry for you folks that don’t drink. When you wake up in the morning that’s as good as you’ll feel all day.”
-Dean Martin?
You forgot to mention how this is the one time of year you remember TruTV is a thing that actually exists.
As a Canadian & knowing our content laws, I’m going to say, “What’s TruTV?”
It’s on an actual sports channel up here.
We MURICKANS don’t know what it is, either.
Dunk City 2 Electric Bugaloo
https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=ue3VM3pyKOE
Sadly, many Americans do accept echo chambers as trusted news, largely predicated on their mistrust of the boogeyman their preferred network has built for them.
By way of example, I read somewhere that a majority of Fox News viewers believe that the U.S. unemployment rate a) is over 10% and b) is higher now than when President Obama took office. Neither of those are factually accurate.
Hullabaloo:
“Day and day out they’ve been fed this malignant bigotry by very wealthy celebrities who’ve been counting their profits and laughing all the way to the bank. Why wouldn’t they listen to a malignant celebrity who promises to do something about it?”
People want to brand the Trump campaign as the rise of fascism but that’s wrong. It’s the rise of complete anti-intellectualism and the complete rejection of fact, reality, and reason in favor of ARRRGGHHHHHHHH I’M ANGRY.
Do you want to borrow one of my copies of Idiocracy?
So you’re saying my dream of building a life-size replica of the original Madison Square Garden using road-killed raccoons has come to an end?
DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!