MOAR Arkansas-Little Rocks, amirite?? Please, in the name of BLEERGH?
10MW Syracuse vs. 7MW Dayton (12:15, CBS)
PRO TIP (and you should DEFINITELY listen to me, what with my 10% success rate yesterday) – the major conference team that gets in despite near-unanimous opinion that it had no business doing so…tends to end up winning at least their first game. And this Dayton team is kind of a hot mess. But here’s some Alice in Chains for beloved fellow wolven alum Arch Miller:
15S UNC-Asheville vs. 2S Villanova (12:40, truTV)
Fun fact, my mom spent her first two years of college at UNC-A (my kinfolk come from the mountains) before marrying my Dad and finishing up at NC State. This does not, sadly, make them any better at basketball.
10W VCU vs. 7W Oregon State (1:30, TNT)
No longer coached by Michelle Obama’s brother, nobody gives a shit about the Beavers no more…and yet here they are. Weakest 7 by a mile, so watch them beat the Rams like a rented mule. This was not a banner year for the A-10.
13S Hawaii vs. 4S California (2:00, TBS)
We don’t give a damn how you did it up north WOO!!! I picked the mighty Rainbow Warriors in every bracket, as Cal is a West Coast version of LSU. ESPN drools over the “NBA talent” but that does not a good team make. Hawaii’s guards will run circles around the Bears (sorry, Covalent).
15MW Middle Tennessee vs. 2MW Michigan State (2:45, CBS)
The good news for the Blue Raiders is that they avoided being a 16 seed! The bad news is that I lied about there being any good news.
10S Temple vs. 7S Iowa (3:10, truTV)
A trip to the Sweet Sixteen is on the line, as everybody knows Jay Wright is cursed in the 2nd round. Despite their late swoon, I have a sneaking Iowa feeling. Probably just gas.
15W CS-Bakersfield vs. 2W Oklahoma (4:00, TNT)
Tough draw for Team Baskets. Start watching that show, you heathens. On the other sideline, this really could be Lon Kruger’s year.
12S South Dakota State vs. 5S Maryland (4:30, TBS)
You’re a jackrabbit, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Better run for the hills, don’t look back.
The Smithsonian Channel may as well call itself the Nothing But Planes And Boats Channel.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Regretting not changing that Cal pick.
But at least they’ve managed to make it interesting (translation…Hawaii sucks)
I didn’t see the news about Cal’s leading scorer’s injury until the first game tipped yesterday, so I couldn’t change it. I have losing to Maryland in the second round, anyway.
To be fair, I think Cuonzo Martin is a great coach, who will do good things in Berkeley. I just wish he wasn’t coaching those tools. I also feel for the guy, because they never wanted him at Tennessee, because God forbid “one of those types” has a head coaching position in that turd of a state.
I saw it, opted to hang with the bears anyway.
Because….Hawaii.
Colbert was right all along. Glad there was nobody with Robots as their mascot or I’d have fucked up with them too….
Baylor? Yeah, I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down.
Whoa, whoa…WHOA!!!
This kinda does look like a robot…!!!!????
http://www.collegegolfstore.com/Purdue/PurdueCCN.jpg
Thank you, VCU, for pulling the dick out of your mouths, and winning the easiest 7-10 upset pick in a few years.
Inorite?
This vcu-osu game has me convinced that the entire tournament has been an elaborate Key and Peele sketch; submitted for your approval:
Mo Cox, Gary Payton, Olaf Schaftenaar, Malcolm Duvivier, Ahmed Mohamed, Jonathan Nwankwo (wank wo!), Justin (nickname Peanut, I assume) Tillman, Cheikh N’diaye, Gligorije Rakocevic, (Construction Noise) Lewis, Jarmal Reid, Coach Wayne Tinkle, and Melvin Johnson.
!!
Hingle McCringleberry nods knowingly.
Rent-A-Center: Fucking over the poor and stupid since like….I dunno, not gonna google those assholes. A long fucking time.
Rent-A-Center: Providing instant gratification at 29.8% compounded weekly since 1986!
It’s probably higher than that I’d think.
Watching Jim Jefferies making Americans look like idiots about guns is one of the great joys of my life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4i7e3gZ1MY
I can haz WCS YouTube post pleez?
Only because you asked nicely.
To be clear, the fist shake is aimed at WCS and his draconian embed regime. 😉
I used to be able to post YT but now I can’t.
Chimpanzees: not stupid…
Good to see VCU going full Purdue. Never go full Purdue.
I was just about to say “Shit…looks like the beavers are finally warmed up”
hehehehehe
VCU just not playing as Smart as usual…
You forgot this part:
http://urnsofamerica.com/images/vase-urns.jpg
/Arrives home with pig meat, sees Michigan State trying to shit the bed
//Throws pig meat thru window and begins to drink heavily
(North Cackalacky buzzards will eat well tonight)
The fight scenes between Daredevil and The Punisher in eps. 1 and 2 have been worth watching. The rest of the show is whatever. You don’t need to have seen season 1 if you’re interested, but there’s a recap before episode 1 if you care.
Anyway, it’s noon now. So I’m going to go out in the sun and try and finish up this work like a grown-up.
I didn’t realize season 2 was out! Fuck. Well I have to be sober enough to drive for 3-4 more hours, after that booze and season 2 of Daredevil
Okay, you hungover douchenozzles are at about a 0.5.
I NEED YOU AT ABOUT A 3 COME ON LETS RAISE THE ROOF OR AT LEAST JUMP UP TO TOUCH THE DOORJAMB
http://49.media.tumblr.com/360fa73d8cdfdeabe6b59a81911e7692/tumblr_mh0c8nCAlT1qbta3wo1_500.gif
Oh boy. Richard Sherman’s going to be at Emerald City Comic Con.
Wow, the #4 is the best seed Cal has ever had. EVER.
And they won the 1959 Tournament by a point over the Jerry West-led WVU team.
No, I’m not a bit bitter about that. Not at all.
You weren’t alive then, you know…
Cal does make a decent effort to keep up academic requirements for athletes.
Hence, the suck.
Rainbow Warriors WOO
Watch out for the French
Writer: What if the guys from “Old School” lived next door? We’ll call it “Neighbors.”
http://www.funflashingleds.com/media/catalog/product/g/r/green-round-strobe.gif
And then let’s make a sequel!!!
Exec: More cocaine for everyone!
http://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-photo-packets-of-crack-cocaine-in-a-briefcase-1619270.jpg
BUT IT’LL BE A ROWDY SORORITY THIS TIME TITTAYS EVERWHERE YEEEEEHAAWWWWWWW I AM FUCKIN CRAZY
http://content.boards.dallascowboys.com/uploads/monthly_07_2013/post-2067-0-15311000-1374065973.jpg
That’s Moose-esque, Sill.
Surprisingly few good results for a GIS of “jerry jones devil.”
Is this Matthew Broderick with the call on the Hawaii-Cal game?
I don’t think it’s possible, but if someone could train a bunch of cats to play basketball, I’d definitely watch a tournament of basketball-playing cats.
What does it say about our society and where we’ve come that the new Barbershop movie looks WAY better to me than BatDick vs. SuperDouche?
Superhero movies YOU’RE DOING THEM WRONG
Part of it’s the “dark and edgy” style that’s being imposed on most of these characters even when it doesn’t fit.
Exactly.
PEOPLE SHOULDN’T DIE IN SUPERMAN MOVIES AND THEY REALLY SHOULDN’T DIE IN BATMAN MOVIES EITHER TREAT THE CHARACTERS PROPERLY OR MAKE UP A NEW SUPERHERO
I don’t even like superhero movies and this is pissing me off BECAUSE IT LOOKS SO TERRIBLE
Putting aside my feeling about Christopher Nolan (that guy thinks he’s way more brilliant than he really is and his movies are intellectual for people who aren’t that bright), I don’t think dark Batman movies were necessarily bad. Dark and edgy is fine for a character who had to deal with his parents being murdered.
But for Superman? Hell no. Bad fit.
That’s why I qualified the Batman sentiment.
I can definitely see a place for Dark Batman, i just think it should be separate from Original Batman somehow.
And Christopher Nolan’s disgraceful attempt to out-Ridley Scott Ridley Scott continues unabated.
He’s even got Milli Vanilli going “Damn, bro. Quit while you’re ahead.”
I think I sprained my finger from clicking the “This is Great” button so hard when I read “his movies are intellectual for people who aren’t that bright.” Well said.
Yup. Inception was an enjoyable movie to watch but was only a fraction as smart as it thought it was.
A movie I forgot as soon as I left the theater.
I hate
Stupid phone.
…therefore you are.
‘Cuse making the Panthers’ season sweep look like more of an achievement.
hey guys
guys hey
gay highs
You’ve got poppers?
Fey thighs?
Who wants to pack my suitcase for me? I’m taking a train, so I don’t need to answer that “did you pack your bags yourself” question tonight.
I’ll make sure you have the essentials.
IIIINNNNNnnnnnnnvisible dog leash!
Aussie Pie Shop will be the name of my new sports bar/strip club. I will hire exclusively Australian staff and I will show AFL games live. Once 2 AM hits, the club will convert to a juice bar and go full nude.
Investors are welcome.
How are you going to get Jewish people to congregate at your bar after 2 am?
Oh wait, my bad.
We can open Big Peter’s across the street.
SoCal’s One-Stop Shop Foar Nekkid Aussie Flesh!
The other day one of you posted that Hershey’s ruined Cadbury Creme Eggs by changing the chocolate for the ones in the US. I felt compelled to try for myself.
A) You were right.
B) I now have diabetes.
HOT TAKE: The Caramilk eggs are so much better anyhow.
Have you tried the Oreo ones?
I have not yet. How are they?
I love Oreos so…
http://25.media.tumblr.com/54859c78e38497959920feef3e150195/tumblr_mnbuhy27XO1r3s0kxo3_400.gif
I have not yet. How are they?
C) You’re broke because even the post-Easter sale price those fuckers is $0.75 per egg around here.
Jesus christ, they’re 4/$3.50 on sale!
How do you people with children cope?
Not a good opening round for the Miller brothers.
http://upl.stack.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/18102926/seanmiller1.jpg
Even better one:
http://larrybrownsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/sean-miller-shirt.jpg
If only he had breasts…
CBS would have to pixelate him.
He does have breasts…
Hey guys, did you know that once you hit 35 you’re FAR more likely to die from breast cancer than testicular cancer?
The More You Know! (About Death!)
First last night’s ocular discourse and now this? You’re taking the fun out of aging and breaking down.
Roberson is plain awesome on the boards when he’s motivated. 14 and counting…
All this talk about ribs and pork….well let’s just say I’m easily influenced.
Damn you peer pressure.
But not in the mood to screw around with rib prep today so am on the way to buy a pork tenderloin and slap that puppy into the crock pot (hat tip to Hippo).
Yeah!!!! Pig meat!!!!
See ya’s in a bit.
Leaving a freshman in with 3 fouls takes balls. If you’re Boeheim though it’s because your team is wafer-thin.
NCAA TOURNAMENT FRIDAY BITCHES
God, Verne Ludquist is great.
Verne: “Showing a little zone…”
Other Guy: “Yes. Very good. You did some coaching in your day!”
Verne: “Yes I did. When I wasn’t SCORING MADLY!”
gold!
Lundquist, dammit!
oof da!
That’s Jim Spanarkel (or however the fuck you spell it), Duke alumnus, and not suprisingly…total prick.
I should finish that walk that I started yesterday, maybe see if the Pearl has really become as gross as the squares bitch about.
So UNC-A has a five minute scoring drought, ‘Nova is able to open up a 7 pt lead.
Impressive ‘Nova…really impressive.
This is clearly their year.
I decided I’m going to the gym.
That will reduce the self loathing when I come back and the debauchery gets really real.
Look! I’m being proactive!
You disgust me.
People who pronounce it Sera-cuse, why do you hate America?
Or is it because they love “Juno” and “Arrested Development” so much?
“Death To Scoochie!”
-the gist of Boeheim’s half-time talk
http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/4062437/600full-death-to-smoochy-screenshot.jpg
Just a god-awful ugly game. I like it when Cuse takes a team down to their level.
This is actually a high-flying shootout, given the nature of the combatants
Somehow, my bracket has done really well. I’m a bit surprised at how many lower seeds I picked correctly. (Still annoyed with fucking Duke not losing like they’re supposed to.)
They will tomorrow….Go Whitey!!!!
/needs to be more specific
I have Yale winning that game because when I thought about which narrative would be the most uncomfortable to forward, it was that one.
You don’t expect a Scoochie to have a goatee going on.
http://www.bite.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/how-do-you-know-that-2.gif
I’m liking these Dayton air balls.
There’s this local place called Aussie Pie Shop or something like that and they’re only open on weekdays for breakfast and lunch and since I’m working during that time I’ve never had a chance to go. It’s supposed to be incredible and I think I’m going to give them a try today.
My biggest issue is I have to have a beer with savory delightfulness and since I don’t drink at work my hours are limited.
But I am off today!
Wow…I really do need new contact lens Rx.
I read that as “Aussie Pig Shop”…which for personal reasons was funny as fuck to me.
Up high HIPPO!!!!!!
I love me some pig
http://www.aussiepiekitchen.com/#reinvented
That. Looks. Tremendous.
Shepherd’s Pie? Sounds like a good lunch idea.
I wish Pacific Pie Shop was as good as it should be.
Return of the Mack is the worst song of the 90s, so naturally it’s being celebrated on Twitter.
You’re right, this song really IS terrible.
Assuming Syracuse loses, does Jim Boeheim abduct the Miami coach and impersonate him?
Replace “abduct” with “murder”
Or “impersonate” with “impregnate”.
I think Larranaga would be an excellent mom.
Scoochie! SCOOCHIE?
In retrospect, I should have entered a Peter King bracket in which Wichita State won everything. I mean, how can you not trust them on a neutral floor?
I had such lofty plans for my day off too.
Get up you fucking wanker and do something with your fucking life.
My vote? You get your ass in the kitchen and cook us all a halftime feast.
Alright. What you got in mind?
Cuz I can cook that.
Ribs
Oh man.
As it turns out I’m going to be making some Korean style baby backs in the next few weeks for a Sunday Gravy post but don’t tell nobody yet.
That shit is a secret.
Mmmmm ribs. That does sound good.
I really might have to sneak out to the butcher for realz.
I gots pork shoulder “ribs” in the crock pot now!
Hmmmmm…what are the chances I can guilt Hippo into an invite before I get too drunk to drive?
IP track him and just show up.
My life’s mantra.
Cooney wastes no time jacking one up.
Schotchy’s head goes boom early.
That’s our 32% 3 point shooter cranking it up out there. Thank god he only plays 37 minutes a game.
/checks to make sure fav channel setup is still in order for CBS/TNT/TruTV/TBS
//sees new msg from DirecTV….WOOOO!!!! DOGTV free preview from 3/21-3/27!!!!
JACKPOT!!!!!!!
If I drank semi-heavily until really early this morning, then slept (read: passed out) for a few hours…woke up still a little buzzed (so had that going for me)….
How wrong is it to begin drinking again almost immediately?
Never mind….look who I’m asking.
Aww hell no. We ain’t close to ready for the afternoon.
Just let me sleep a few more hours.
Goddamn Jameson.
TREVOR COONEY IS AN ABOMINATION!
/that said, Go Syracuse!
“I would also like to express my dislike for that particular person.”
– Riley Cooper