I’m glad to see we all survived the weekend. Myself, on Friday I organized a pub crawl of some fine craft breweries before the final WHL game of the season – and possibly forever – in Vancouver. I Instagrammed the evening to allow my wife to observe that I wasn’t actually at peeler bars, and well as to remember the route in case I lost something. Then, to atone, it was relatives and cleaning all weekend, so I got to put my bracket in the bin next to some old Economist magazines.
There is no way in hell Gawker is going to have to pay out $140 million. I’m given to assume Florida is one of those states where juries go, “FUCK THE MAN!” and then it gets reduced on appeal?
Well, if he does get to keep it, maybe he can invest in some Cuban hotels once Obama lifts the embargo. It’s so cute to hear Marco Rubio defend the sanctions when not even people supporting him helped him hold off Trump. Hell – Donald should announce the new “Trump Habana” tonight.
Speaking of crazy, Trump picked Jeff Sessions of Alabama to be his key foreign policy advisor. I can’t wait to see the positions on key issues. Syrian refugees? ROLL TIDE! ISIS? ROLL TIDE! Illegal immigration? BURN DOWN AUBURN!
Well, enough talk,
The games! (All times eastern)
NHL: (4 games total)
- Panthers @ Rangers – 7:00
- Flyers @ Islanders – 7:00
- Kings @ Predators – 8:00
NBA: (9 games total)
- Spurs @ Hornets – 7:00
- Magic @ Celtics – 7:30
- Warriors @ T-Wolves – 8:00
Finally, don’t forget that there’s a new “Better Call Saul” tonight. NO SPOILERS!
For your consideration:
http://41.media.tumblr.com/9143cfe33dea53588cec0b87d15314cf/tumblr_o3xphmGMiX1ssryifo1_1280.jpg
My favourite Canandian:
http://america.pink/images/7/5/2/6/2/8/en/1-bricklin.jpg
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/it-could-be-worse-you-could-be-canadian-.png
das Luftschloss lit. sky castle; an unrealistic dream
der Erbsenzähler lit. pea counter; a control freak, someone who needs to count peas
der Pantoffelheld lit. slipper hero; someone who is “whipped” or can’t stand up to their significant other
der Kummerspeck lit. worry bacon; the weight you put on when you overeat due to worry or stress
der Treppenwitz lit. stairs joke; the clever joke you only think of after you’ve left the relevant situation and have already started down the stairs
der Dreikäsehoch lit. three cheese high; someone who is very short, i.e. as tall as three cheeses stacked on top of one another
verschlimmbessern lit. to make worse better; to make something worse while trying to make it better
das Arschgeweih lit. ass antlers; tramp stamp
die Arschgeige lit. ass violin; someone who can’t do anything right
Just some German expression (I think they are right).
http://49.media.tumblr.com/31b3c56e57160c62364d6833aa377ce2/tumblr_npwihyY3us1qe4ru4o1_500.gif
Are you watching German Scheiße films again?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/be697c8af86b0ada83fb07e8a54048cc/tumblr_o3op3dcdSt1qdu0v5o1_400.gif
BOLTMAN’S OLDER BROTHER IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER DOUCHE BOLTMAN RENOUNCED HIS SORRY ASS IN 1991
I know someone said their favorite Canadian ever was Phil Hartman, but there are so many it is difficult to choose. If I must choose, though, you’ve gotta go with:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqng40UoLr1qf83cro1_1280.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/b53831c11706f65052cfdc8e9046a8d9/tumblr_nyn8rgmGUB1r5a08so3_r2_500.gif
I think that’s from Big Fish, a movie I love for some reason.
Correct sir. I like it because, while the screen play didn’t really bring the cinematography, visual style affects and the languid scenes that they lingered over made me appreciate it. You could watch it with music on and like it.
Sheeesh. Either my internet speeds are way down tonight, or I’ve picked up some badass malware.
If it’s the former, fuck you CenturyLink.
If it’s the latter, fuck you Norton….and maybe also porn.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/b8c85580b314eee358be22cc28c0c8db/tumblr_o1bika5roa1s01qkyo4_400.gif
Did you click on something you shouldna have?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/55108baa06c13812d07f8b01afbd82e2/tumblr_nzz9s0Z8IW1qedskio1_1280.jpg
Define “shouldna have”.
You are just making your whippin’ worse.
Let me know when my time out is over.
*sigh*
a NSFW blog but instead of porn it’s just pictures of unsafe work practices
Well, fuck; the link doesn’t work either.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/0a0a450291a9b6bea8aabd1d84520178/tumblr_o4e1z8g6J01sjcqg0o1_500.jpg
I have some early meetings tomorrow, so I can think of no reason why I shouldn’t re-watch like 5 episodes of Bojack.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/5a8bdc68772b600fc792675b639cb52d/tumblr_o39xcjwvoP1u2p6qio2_r1_500.gif
Now that you are a lesbean, no.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/21c88ab2272bf12856de00af2a86f21c/tumblr_o39xcjwvoP1u2p6qio1_500.gif
*lesbian who likes burritos
I have been using “Jockjam Doorslam” at every possible opportunity.
I was on a Skype meeting today and it wouldn’t load, so I was just on the phone; should have used that twice.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqs2exrehg1r0hgato1_1280.jpg
Dumb Germans…make your cupholders bigger and that won’t happen.
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7160/6690894171_061dc1f1c0_z.jpg
Bloody git!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqrgamqNaz1r0hgato1_1280.jpg
That’s OK; I’ve only met about five people who like Red Dwarf.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqk2zhDeHh1qgww1io1_400.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqpyctKcrq1r0hgato1_400.jpg
Sorry, shoulda gone with a NSFW warning.
Phil Hartman is still my all time favorite Canadian, no offense to the Canucks here.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/bd46e8476f656d1e3103a5ac4d2f2b98/tumblr_mkz7agSe4i1r79nqko3_250.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/6b0d000762f90f8d344015ec95582636/tumblr_ngfg2lFtEe1s2jfn0o6_400.gif
Seconded. Funniest guy ever and could do everything.
How would anyone possibly find that offensive.
Some of us love Anne Murray, jerkface.
Kim had me at “Live one on the hook”
-Jimmy McGill, esq
http://36.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqk4r973OV1r0hgato1_400.jpg
Is this thing on?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/0ada1ad74bbc422e9533cefd8415c9a9/tumblr_o1bika5roa1s01qkyo1_400.gif
I’m not 100% sure, but, I think we might have just seen another Breaking Bad character make an appearance.
Make that three.
I think so too. And Mike’s getting that eye twitch thing into high gear now.
WOOOOO!!!
Did you see this one?
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/breakingbad/images/d/d5/Hmm.png
Watching now.
Reply fail. Meant for unsupervised post.
Gotcha. I thought it was reply fail to me and we were gonna wax philosophic about what a badass Mike is.
/totes disappointment
This Week in Low Tech Home Security….with Mike Ehrmantraut.
http://schmoesknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/mike_ehrmantraut_quote_breaking_bad_by_eggburger123321-d6hp2g8.jpg
Looking at New Mexico law firm directories was a bad idea.
So that’s what Olivia Wilde looks like just wearing a merkin. http://gfycat.com/DistortedConsciousHusky
Ummmmm….
You’re welcome.
Islanders may not even make the Playoffs. This feels right.
Aw, look how cute pre-testosterone Joe Rogan is.
Sorry for missing out on the drinks yesterday. I’m also sad to read that Bill Clinton has reached the Old Man Yells At Clouds stage.
Yo, Flyera! Get down in your hole, Islanders!
OK, so I’m not saying that the character Kim (Rhea Seehorn) on BCS is unattractive, because she’s so not. But they really do go out of their way to….let’s call it “harden her edges”.
(a fact first pointed out by WCS during the Talking Saul aftershow)
http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/3168305/354full-rhea-seehorn.jpg
I likes her. Hard or soft-edged.
You shoulder-whore.
But no disagreement.
They are the bestest shoulders. Yummy.
Again, no disagreement.
She’s an attorney at a top firm; we’re not known for our glamour.
/once was fired by a big name firm, so I oughta know.
I’m sorry, but TV says differently.
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/1177/LA-Law024.jpg
There are exceptions at the big NM firms. I can’t for the life of me imagine how.
She had me at crazy eyes.
Had an interesting Monday back at work, after a four day weekend. Woke up to some serious indigestion, which I’m still dealing with, but decided against calling in sick.
Shortly after I got in, my boss called us all in to tell us that the new parent company of 3 months is showing our GM the door today. He’s the only one in upper management who gave a damn about our tiny division. However, after lunch, he called us in again to let us know his boss, who I can’t stand and very affectionately refer to as “Weasel Dick,” is leaving at the end of the month.
Anyway, the job hunt continues, cause the new parent company is pulling a Jed York and turning this place into a dumpster fire.
Word of lawyerly advice: start a series of fires.
I’m not ready to go full Tomsula just yet.
Hippo’s are for fun. Tomsula’s are for warmth and cooking.
The Toronto Maple Leafs.
/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/6226171/lolpa.0.gif)
MAC! MAC! MAC!
Ice skates: How do they work?
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Racist_a591eb_5296455.jpg
Watching the NIT is quite the cry for help.
Watching AIPAC coverage is worse than cutting.
Everyone who knew that Jim Bakker was still alive raise your hand.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/03/ex-con-preacher-compares-bernie-sanders
It’s no wonder Berke Breathed brought Bloom County back.
It’s 1988 all over again.
http://www.organissimo.org/forum/uploads/monthly_07_2007/post-42-1185108042.jpg
Want to hear a crazier thing…He was cellmates with Lyndon LaRouche.
Why doesn’t that surprise me?
So during a break in training today, one of the Canucks asked me about guns. I informed him that I had never held one before despite spending 6 years in the military. This got the guy from Texas into an uproar.
Before I knew it, we just listen to him go off on a rant about how school shootings aren’t real and that Obama and Clinton are going to take everyone’s guns.
I don’t even want to take their guns.
I just want them to have to wait to buy their guns, for them to carry liability insurance for their guns, and for them to leave their guns at home when they go for a burrito.
COMMUNIST
HOW WILL I DEFEND MY BURRITOS!?!?!?!
When I was in grad school, one of my classmates had just finished time in the Coast Guard where he had in a few instances carried a gun. I do not believe he ever fired it though.
This caught the attention of another one of my classmates who was rural Missouruh ammosexual who assumed if you ever even held a gun you agreed with every batshit guns are great argument ever made.
Naturally, this made for an interesting exchange where a gun lover struggled to grasp one could know how to use a gun safely but still be totally in favor of gun control of some sort.
“ammosexual” is so going to be overused by yours truly in the very near future.
Well, if that’s true, I hope they start with his.
Ah, Jamie Dixon PLAYED at TCU…which makes it at least 5% less insane to have committed career suicide like that.
Oh, regarding the Gawker situation, my understanding is that they can (and intend to) appeal, but that requires either they post bond for the judgment amount (with a $50 million cap) OR they can just appeal without posting bond but then Hogan can actively start collecting the judgment (i.e. taking all their assets).
If only snark and bitchiness were a currency, they’d be set.
From what I’ve read, (not a lot), and know about Florida law, (even less), before anything gets done the jury has to decide whether or not to double or triple the award for punitive reasons.
Bodies getting dropped in Brooklyn. Gotta love Islanders-Flyers games.
The good Manning scores in Brooklyn!
We had a snow day today. So me and my friends built an 8ft tall snow penis in the backyard. Big balls, sticks for veins, sculpted shaft, everything. Had some laughs, took some pictures.
Then we got drunk and took out a BB gun-rifle and started shooting it. Then we put some shaken beer cans in it and shot it and the beer exploded, coloring the dick a yellow-brown hue.
Then we went inside, ate some carnitas that had been simmering in the crock pot all day, started watching Olympus has Fallen, and took a nap.
Now I am back home watching basketball.
It was a good day.
That’s a day well spent.
Pics or gtfo
Leftover carnitas or GTFO.
Even better.
Did you fuck around and get a triple-double?
Does anyone know why the majority of programming on BBC America is old American movies and TV shows?
Well, whaddya know? I would have thought boobs.
Whopps – meant this for your first gif comment.
Which part of Vancouver are you having the pub crawl at? If I was anywhere near the bars, I can mentally join you.
We had it on the east side: (itinerary for your future planning)
2:00 – lunch at Peckinpah (Carolina BBQ) – 2 Water St.
3:00 – Powell Street Brewing – 1357 Powell
3:30 – Callister Brewing – 1338 Franklin
4:15 – Bomber Brewing – 310 Commercial Dr,
4:45 – Parallel 49 Brewing – 1950 Triumph St,
5:15 – Doan’s Brewing – 1830 Powell
6:00 – Princeton Hotel – 1901 Powell
7:00 – cab to Coliseum
Sweet! I made it as far as Chinatown, but I was with family, so I couldn’t make it further east though i had heard about the craft beer scene on the east side and wanted to check it out.
I fucking LOVE your city.
This is the first .gif ever made:
http://i.imgur.com/HhY4whh.gi f
It’s imgur so it won’t post but it’s worth checking out.
When you do a GIS for just “gif” this is the first thing that comes up:
http://a3.files.theultralinx.com/image/upload/MTI5MDU2ODM2MjQxMzc3Mjkw.gif
The more you psychedelically know…
Aww man – I could have used that for my review over on BBM!
Male bonding…ya gotta love it.
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/0/0/314400_v1.jpg
A reference to “I Am Curious Yellow”, a controversial Swedish film made in 1967? Cool.
Hope Lois isn’t planning to vote in the next 24 hours.
Flipping through the TV, I see that Gothom show.
I’ve never really understood why Batman is a hero. I mean I LOVED the original TV show and its campy good fun…but I don’t get the darker version.
He is basically a rich psychopath beating the shit out of poor people for breaking societal norms and roles. Imagine what Bruce Wayne would do to Black Lives Matters protesters…
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/3/7/0/314370.jpg?v=1
So for some reason I found myself looking at Chris Kattan’s twitter page, which was funny because it’s basically just him spewing hashtags and promoting his own shows in backwater shitholes* like Sioux City and Toledo which was very funny to me because I absolutely LOATHE him, but then I found out he’s the voice of Bunnicula, which was a treasured childhood story of mine, which makes me upset. And then I remembered that in the book Bunnicula doesn’t even TALK, which makes me even angrier that it’s voiced by Chris Fucking Kattan.
*No offence.
For the fucking life of me I cannot understand how SNL was allowed to continue so long with him on it…but fucking In Living Color gets gutted and canceled.
FUCKING HONKIES CAN’T LET US HAVE SHIT!
In his autobiography Tracy Morgan stated that Cheri Oteri and Rattan treated him like shit. Just one more reason to despise the creator of “Mango”.
<<<<<<
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The best/worst part is that he didn’t catch on with a clique, so he doesn’t show up in any more Will Farrell movies like Rob Schneider does in Sandler’s.
It sounds like he was so far up his own ass that he thought he would be the leader of a clique.
[cues up the laugh track]
Hey now….Corky Romano was a classic piece of comedic American cinema an it was….
/erupts with laughter, wets pants, can’t finish the sentence.
We are cursed, we are doomed, we are Cincinnati. There’s nothing to do but duck.
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/columnists/paul-daugherty/2016/03/21/doc-cincy-sports-fans-cursed/82072034/
It’s your eternal penance for Skyline Chili.
https://youtu.be/yJMa20xXykI
Not sure why I assumed Mr. Hippo, Esq. started this post instead of Mr. Beerguyrob, Esq., here we are.
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/hippoattack.gif
I’m not sure why if it was any fish or whale, that wouldn’t bother me at all. But because it’s a hippo, it’s HOLY BEJEEZUS WE’S ALL GONNA DIE BULLEE DAT!
Hippos kill more people annually than any other species. You’re right to be afraid.
And we have a Pitt coaching search to track! I hear local legend Herb Sendek ain’t doin’ nuthin’ – tan, rested, and ready, yo!
AUH AUH AAARRROOOOOO!
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/hungryhippos.gif
You just know they’re gonna nab Archie.
And NCSU blogs/msg boards will be all like….
So happy to see Dixon move on-he could beat Cuse with two broomsticks, an air-freshener and a couple of Snickers bars.
Boeheim: Sorry, I was eating a Milky Way.
http://www.theonlinecentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Hippo-Attacks-Crocodile-When-It-Attempts-To-Eat-Her-Calf.jpg
Hippo hates shoes.
Slippers or GFTO