One of the things I love about this league is that it always brings you surprises.  Some are pleasant and some not, but it is not easy to predict what will happen week to week.  Maybe this is why the AFL has embraced gambling and has an online sportsbook as a partner.  Reason #… you know the deal.  Lots of action this week, let’s get to it!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Before I get to the highlights, introduce you to a new person, and otherwise caress your attention in a rhythmic clockwise direction, let me say thanks to those of you that joined in for our crazy middle-of-the-night-on-a-weekday Opening Day rivebrog for the Carlton-Richmond game. I’m still feeling the sleep-deprivation effects (yes, I’m old, why do you ask?), but it was worth it.

And what exactly happened at the MCG that day/night?  For starters, this:

Carlton played REALLY well and it was a close game throughout.  As I noted in the rivebrog, however, their kicking accuracy let them down both early and late.  Richmond, on the other hand, made sure to convert their opportunities into goals:

and came away with the 9 point win.  It was a promising start for the Blues, last year’s Wooden Spoon “winners”, which, given a bit more skill in their kicking, shows that they will most likely not be anywhere close to the Wooden Spoon this year.

That “honor”, this year, is most likely to go to the Essendon Bombers.  After twelve of Essendon’s active players were given season-long bans stemming from the use of supplements during the 2012 (!) season, the Bombers were allowed to top up with extra players.  Adding extra players and having them mesh with the rest of the team, however, are two different things. In their season opener on North American Friday night, the Bombers traveled to Queensland to take on the Gold Coast Suns and things went

not well for the Bombers.  The Suns doubled up the Bombers by a score of 121 to 60.  If you enjoy bloodshed and the Bombers getting their asses kicked, I suggest you watch the highlight video below.  Blood occurs at the 3 minute mark.

Earlier on American Friday night, the Melbourne Demons hosted the GWS Giants in what, IMHO, was probably the match of the Round.  It was a back and forth game through the first half with the Giants holding a slim lead at the half.  In the third, the Giants extended their lead and led by 21 at the break.  Melbourne came storming back in the fourth to take the lead late before this happened:

The Demons held off a furious rally by GWS.  The final score was 80-78 for the Demons.  There were some really nice plays earlier in the game too:

The second highlight really sums up how the Giants lost this game and the Demons won it:  Turnovers and conversions.

There were two games late on Friday night/Saturday morning:  North Melbourne-Adelaide and Collingwood-Sydney. One turned into a blowout and the other was a close thriller.  Which was which?  Here is a hint:

That HAD to hurt!  Luckily, he was ok.  Not so luckily, it looks like the Magpies have lost midfielder Dane Swan for a good portion of, if not the whole year, with a cracked fibula and foot fractures.  He will have surgery and his status for the rest of the year will be known after the hopefully successful procedure.

So, as you may have guessed, Collingwood ended up on the wrong side of the beatdown.  The final score was 133-53 and it doesn’t sound like it was that close.  This is an example of the bad surprises that I mentioned at the beginning. Collingwood was set to improve and contend this year and this was just about the worst possible start to the year.  We’ll see how they rebound next round.

On the other side of the ledger, the Swans have to be happy about how their new additions have settled in plus Buddy Franklin by himself outscored the Magpies 25-10 at the half!  Here is a highlight that I like just for the announcer’s use of “Selling candy” as a descriptive phrase:

The thriller, then, was the Kangaroos-Crows clash at the Etihad.  It was truly a game of two halves as the Crows took the lead right away and held it all the way through halftime.  The Roos, however, came roaring back to erase the deficit at the break and pulled ahead at the end to win by 10.  Here is a great goal from Adelaide’s Josh Jenkins:

and the eventual game-winner from Taylor Garner:

I do love how they use the term “soccer” as a verb.

American Saturday night brought another three games.  In the first game, last year’s regular season champions, the Fremantle Dockers went to the Etihad to meet the Western Bulldogs. This result truly surprised me as the Doggies dominated throughout en route to a 103-38 thrashing of the Dockers.  Here are some highlights:

Unsurprisingly, the available highlights mostly feature the Doggies doing good things:

BTW, there are many things to love about the highlight above.  The fact that the goal umpire has a camera on his cap that broadcasts live video is awesome.  The fact that they call it the “third eye” is also awesome.

The second game featured the Port Adelaide Power hosting the lovable St. Kilda Saints.  Our own WhyEaglesWhy was at this game

All the way from America to back the Power! #weareportadelaide pic.twitter.com/GeL3rK7ou2

— Fran (@effemwarner) March 27, 2016

so I won’t give away too much. He has promised a post talking about the live game experience and I look forward to reading it.  Suffice to say that the Saints played REALLY well before tiring in the fourth and losing to the Power by 33.  This was an outstanding kick and goal by Port’s Charlie Dixon:

In the last game of the night, the West Coast Eagles hosted the Brisbane Lions in a true cross-country matchup.  The Lions can’t really use jet-lag as an excuse as they traveled west instead of east.  It was just a dominating performance from the Eagles, who look poised to return to the Grand Final this year, as they wound up with a 64 point victory. This pretty much summarizes the game for the Lions:

The Lions did have some highlights, but it was not enough:

• * * *
• Better Know an Australian Footballer Umpire

This

is Rose O’Dea, one of three female goal umpires in the AFL.  Although she looks like she’s 12, she is actually in her 20s and has been umpiring at the AFL level for three years. She started umpiring at the age of 14, following in the footsteps of her father, who himself was a footy umpire.  She is a biologist by education but, in her words, “Umpiring’s a good way to keep fit, earn a bit of money, and by pushing you out of your comfort zone I think it teaches you skills you can apply to life more broadly.”   Here is a selected Q&A from her AFL Umpire Association profile:

Favourite Food: Raspberries

Favourite Movie: Up in the air

Favourite city in the world and why: Canberra – it’s home

Before a game I always…: Read

Best attribute as an umpire: Good learner

Why did you become an umpire: To be involved in the game

Most admired sportsperson and why?: Roger Federer – at his best he turns tennis into ballet

My favorite thing that I read about Rose is that, when asked what it meant to be the third AFL female umpire ever, she responded that she hopes soon there will be a fourth and a fifth and then people will stop counting.  That’s pretty cool.

• * * *

Now, you may have noticed something and said, “Hey, aren’t there 18 teams in the league and therefore 9 games in the Opening Round?  I only counted 8!”  Yes, dear reader, you are correct!  The last game of the Round is being played on Easter Monday in Australia, Sunday night in North America.  Since it takes me a bit of time to write the AFL Beat, I’ve left the game summary and highlights for the end.

And what an end to the Round!  I am half-asleep as I am typing this on Monday morning, but it was totally worth it to stay up and watch my Geelong Cats beat the defending champs by 30 on Opening Day!  To be fair and honest, this was not a blowout.  It was actually an intense game played with the passion of a finals game that only got out of hand at the end.  Geelong jumped out to a large lead at the half based on some tremendous goal-scoring accuracy.  Hawthorn clawed all the way back from a 30+ point deficit to take the lead in the fourth only for the Cats to roar right back.  An amazing game.  Here are a couple of highlights:

BTW, Patrick Dangerfield is good.  Wow. Here is the Ladder after Round One:

Have you ever wondered if a 9 point loss in a low-scoring game is better than a 10 point loss in a high-scoring game?  Well, the AFL has that mystery solved for you!  As you may notice in the ladder, there is a % column that serves to rank the teams that are tied on points (FYI, 4 points for a win, 2 for a tie, 0 for a loss).  The formula is simple; it is simply the points scored divided by the points scored against.  Thus, you can see that a 10 point loss in a high scoring game (Adelaide vs North Melbourne) is actually more valuable than a 9 point loss in a lower-scoring game (Carlton vs Richmond).  Which, if you think about it, makes sense.  Reason #249 why the AFL is run better than the NFL.

The season is off to a great start as long as you are not a Bombers fan.  Or a Collingwood fan.  Sorry, Moose and jjfozz!  Don’t worry, though, it’s only one game and there is always next week:

ROUND 2

Friday April 1

Collingwood v Richmond at MCG (1:50 AM Pacific)

Adelaide v Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval (7:45 PM Pacific)

Essendon v Melbourne at MCG (8:10 PM Pacific)

Brisbane Lions v North Melbourne at Gabba (10:35 PM Pacific)

Saturday April 2

St Kilda v Western Bulldogs at Etihad Stadium (1:25 AM Pacific)

Fremantle v Gold Coast Suns at Subiaco Oval (1:40 AM Pacific)

GWS Giants v Geelong at StarTrack Oval (8:10 PM Pacific)

Hawthorn v West Coast Eagles at MCG (10:20 PM Pacific)

Carlton v Sydney Swans at Etihad Stadium (11:40 PM Pacific)

See you next week at our regular time!