INT. NFL DRAFT GREEN ROOM – EVENING
A number of gifted athletes lounge around on couches. A cellphone rings.
MYLES JACK: [perks up, glances at phone, looks deflated]
EZEKIEL ELLIOT: [smiles at JACK, shrugs] Guess we got the same ring tone. [answers phone, hops up and exits the room. In the distance, a pair of pistols are heard firing]
A half hour later…
LAREMY TUNSIL: [exhales…let’s say “a sigh of relief”. Yeah, “exhales a huge sigh of relief”] WHEW! [departs]
Still later…
SHAQ LAWSON: [answers phone]
REX RYAN: [audible throughout the green room even though LAWSON is holding the phone to his ear] HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ FALLDOWN BOY? CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE IT TO US! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE ON STAGE, YOU’RE COMING TO BUFFALO!
SHAQ LAWSON: [grins, skips off to the podium]
An hour later…
VERNON BUTLER: [gets call, stands up, turns to mother] Finally! Wow, I thought I wasn’t gonna get taken until tomorrow. Sure would have been embarrassing to sit here this whole time and…[notices JACK]…um…[trails off]
Two hours later…
INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Todavía estás aquí?
MYLES JACK: [stands up, draws leg back to kick table, thinks better of it]
INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Mira el lado bueno – Cleveland elige primero mañana. Ellos necesitan un apoyador!
MYLES JACK: [weeps]
—
For today’s Request Line, let’s show Myles Jack a little sympathy and let him know he’s not the only one who’s ever felt like he’s been passed over. This week’s theme: songs of isolation, exclusion, rejection, and unrequited love.
Wait, what’s this? Are we really getting this Request Line started off with a double shot? YOU’RE GODDAMNED RIGHT WE ARE!
Pat Benatar – Little Too Late
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3OJKsjiWDo
Patsy Cline – She’s Got You
https://youtu.be/MWCUh6tf7PA
Bobby Vinton – Mr Lonely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djU4Lq_5EaM
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lebi487G7w1qzcwo6o1_1280.jpg
Springsteen double shot
The River
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAB4vOkL6cE
Lonely Night in the Park
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzlPd_PZVCM
And something people say Jack can’t do
Born to Run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3t9SfrfDZM
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3d5a738a045553537afca1d18b7e25c4/tumblr_o5f7hii1DC1ubfgh6o1_500.jpg
How Myles Jack definitely feels (as sung by Carole King):
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1863432b1a9a6717e7f8c428e728c6a8/tumblr_o57yerpZE01r2xhmto1_1280.jpg
Annie Wilkes…take your best shot.
(owwwww….BITCH!!!!!)
((Apologies to the KING on that first one….thank you, thank very much))
/Knows no one will listen to any of these
//doesn’t give a shit
Dwight Yoakam – Suspicious Minds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01fy0UtBTW4
Dwight Yoakam – Ain’t That Lonely Yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4APfLNbdao4
Dwight Yoakam – Things Change
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NWL322on5k
http://66.media.tumblr.com/8b4c3c62c6b29f6ef0f046f274820ffb/tumblr_o01m1n7RJT1umenloo5_400.gif
As an aside…little known fact….
Second of the above was written about Sharon Stone.
(allegedly)
One more before lunch (yay lunch!)
Lost Cause by Beck:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkNa5xzOe5U
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b6d57e380cc2278f72c830eff4b25310/tumblr_o5o053uNa51sjcqg0o1_540.png
Aside from the smoking possum (giggity? not sure)…that all looks way to familiar.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e895aa41d8424d2e1cfbd2fea93612b5/tumblr_o678bdt52A1qam8b5o1_1280.jpg
In The Wee Small Hours is a whole album of Sinatra crooning about loneliness the way only he could (he was going through a divorce from Ava Gardner at the time).
The title track is not something you should listen to when you’re recently broken up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiPUv4kXzvw
http://41.media.tumblr.com/9ec49930ebfa048cbe553f854719ba9e/tumblr_o55hr8mMWH1ue7elmo1_1280.jpg
“I love working on my house. In fact, you could say my basement is the project I’m proudest of.”
Made me think of this song:
Greenskeepers – Lotion
https://youtu.be/0CQokgv0dQw
One Tin Soldier Rides Away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sUtaMbQmpk
Wow…I haven’t heard that in way too long.
Thank you, Fozz. Seriously.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m25usa6E4q1ql2603o1_400.gif
Berlin – The Metro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNVLRPSEVaE
Shit, this was uhsposed to be a double….I clicked post too soon. Premature postulation…or something like that.
Berlin – No More Words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIb9QUGjdIc
That happens to everyone sometimes. At least that’s what she said to me last night; and the night before, and the night before that, and…
http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/images/153-collar_pull.jpg
They can treat premature postulation these days. Or you can think about PK, that might be too much, though.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/602837da184180ac5616fe89dba209ed/tumblr_o5yww4PYjh1qjnhqgo1_1280.png
God damn that’s funny. When I heard about that, I ran to high ground to avoid the flood of hate, bigotry, and flat out ignorance that would be pouring out of the South and the Flyover States.
Kind of like election night 2008.
The Motels – Only The Lonely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPTELylZ1s
http://49.media.tumblr.com/297f79dc2fc99d14e20b115e53e5556e/tumblr_no7o5svfrm1qglnd4o1_500.gif
Annie’s gonna really be pissed at me in about five minutes.
I’m expecting a good hobbling for what I’m about to do.
REM – Band and Blame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FNfB6WfwM4
Damn typos and no edit function.
BANG and Blame….that is.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/e3c6f44296a86c7120c763c81e3a2278/tumblr_o62zyecTjL1v0j948o1_1280.png
And taking the wayback machine to 1965
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKlSVNxLB-A
http://67.media.tumblr.com/6f8f714ed0682f2c5efae04227e439b0/tumblr_n1qt4u3ju21s9c5ebo2_1280.jpg
‘Til Tuesday – Voices Carry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
http://40.media.tumblr.com/d7e77b7ab70a83b01af2c2bf88ab5e60/tumblr_o5ya37eSYT1qckp4qo1_1280.jpg
This is the R.E.M. song you were looking for, WBS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCYiT2uHAGc
SONOFABITCH!!!!!! EVERY TIME!!!!!
Seriously….nice pick up. I am shamed yet again.
/tries to redeem self
So. Central Rain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2taJLBGoMi8
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1d58bbad67505b83d2ebfd3c231f5506/tumblr_o5ynousqCT1qzsq0xo2_500.gif
DOUBLE SHOT CAUSE IT’S RELEVANT TO MYLES JACK’S KNEE:
Counting Crows double double….take THAT Nomonkeyfun!!!!!!
Challenge completed.
Counting Crows – Raining in Baltimore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEnCxGh8kBg
Counting Crows – Anna Begins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CYfsQrNtFk
Counting Crows – Angels of the Silences
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDbR_8K3J70
Counting Crows – All My Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG-IloDS7k0
I need some Neosporin to deal with the burn.
Also you made Jennifer Aniston very sad.
http://img.wennermedia.com/social/jennifer-aniston-adam-duritz-0b68f57e-aabf-46e8-bb69-2d3a9190c0c0.jpg
LMFAO….that was some funny shit.
Velvet Underground- Femme Fatale
https://youtu.be/QG9TCyFcREw
REM – Everybody Hurts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc
REM – Don’t Go Back to Rockville
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fXCjSgItgw
Counting Crows – A Long December
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs
Nice.
I got a couple of theirs in mind, but I missed that one.
Hehehehehe….guilty pleasure
(NSFW version btw)
CeeLo Green – Fuck You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU
Myles Jack – Alone Again … sorry I meant Gilbert O’Sullivan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8
Jesus, there’s a guy that needs a hug. (Gilbert, not Jesus. Although maybe Jesus too.)
WWJH
Who Would Jesus Hug?
“Give me a hug, my child…OW DAMMIT WATCH MY FUCKING SIDE ASSHOLE!”
Apoyador means assistant. That makes the DEs gloreee boys. I knew it!
Damn you Google Translate!
/was actually going to ask on the staff list but was too tight on time.
It is!
http://deportes.terra.com/carneros-cumple-quinielas-y-elige-a-jared-goff-primero-en-draft-nfl,99f17daa61f8619b4320c052d92ee8f97ynsnhw4.html
This post was the 1st time I read it. Great shit man.
This song was omitted from a double shot just because it was posted last week. I missed that post so I don’t care it is a recent repeat
Spin Doctors – Two Princes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsdy_rct6uo
Pretty classic example of the theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6pT_BDpnog
Shit, now I want to watch Fast Time at Ridgemont High.
http://media1.fdncms.com/nashville/imager/u/original/5903644/phoebe-cates-fast-times-ridgemont-high-1982-1.jpg
Another that really should have been in the top half of the first round.
Somebody musta hacked Thom Yorke’s twitter account.
Radiohead – Creep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rsqg95anNw
And in a very unconventional double shot….
STP – Creep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzT8AoOau1Y
Morphine- Thursday
https://youtu.be/gyYQYmgTrrI
The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siUkQoRmlBA
Been saving this one for a bit. Definitely my favorite Spin Doctors song. What can I say, Alexi Lalas has a good voice!
/yes, yes, could do a double shot with Two Princes but we had that one last week.
“Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” fits
(ie….dump that narcissistic bitch)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXWbMu4PtpE
I feel a lot of the Vampire Weekend catalog would fit the theme as well.
Can’t believe this first took this long…kinda figured it would go off the draft board in the top five. The Second one is a third rounder at best, but hey, it’s double shots today so far sooooo….
No Doubt – Don’t Speak
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ
No Doubt – Bathwater
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k_g9hDeOic
It’s a really rich draft, even if we leave out breakup songs (which could probably get an entire post of their own…maybe a special Black Monday edition this season).
A double-double shot of Gram Parsons
For Fozz: Streets of Baltimore
https://youtu.be/8V4NoboSq6w
Brass Buttons
https://youtu.be/ctZpejVICco
Cry One More Time
https://youtu.be/VBsQJX9PapQ
Hearts on Fire
https://youtu.be/QMM3UVLEjY4
Challenge Accepted!!!!!!!
So the moral of the story is that no one liked the Material Issue guy?
No, no, didn’t you hear him? Valerie loves him!
I’ll see your double shots, and raise you a triple….
P!nk – Who Knew?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJWIbIe0N90
P!nk – So What?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJfFZqTlWrQ
P!nk – Please Don’t Leave Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-XLvUpvjZo
Franz Ferdinand says You Could Have It So Much Better anytime. Anytime. Anytime. Anytime WOOOOOOO
SO GET UP ON YOUR OWN
GET UP ON YOUR OWN
GET UP ON YOUR OWN
and so forth
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UGyBzSBpEH4
Love this tune:
¿Double Shot de The Hives? ¡Seguro!
Love in Plaster
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw6WiL53njA
Antidote
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HsW9ngKS2fI
Motley Crue – Don’t Go Away Mad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4csScc1wLs0
Rise Against’s cover of this fantastic Bob Dylan song: The Ballad Of Hollis Brown
Everclear – Father of Mine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkcbxjWG9Mc
Gonna have to limit it to individual albums if I’m gonna do Double Shots of The Smiths.
Love songs, nothing but love songs.
I fucking love the lyrics on this.
Meanwhile in Senor’s head: “Don’tpostmyentiresonataagaindon’tpostityoucanonlyshamelesslyplugitandmentionthat’F.A.E.’standsfor’freebutlonely’somanytimesstopthatshitrightnow”
*inhales* Here’s Childish Gambino – All the Shine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcz7UTuoaBQ
And in the spirit of double shots, David Ruffin’s version of I Want You Back is better than the Jackson 5’s THERE I SAID IT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5XVyrioSV4
(Also I feel like I should say it’s the album/sweary version of All the Shine. So yeah, NSFW.)
Double Shots seem to be in vogue so what the heck?
All American Rejects – It Ends Tonight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfdAGkjHGac
All American Rejects – Gives You Hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A
Another double shot? But we just started!
/honestly could just play this entire album; pretty much every song fits the theme.
The play button on the Mr. Brightside video looks like it’s giving the singer a Hitler ‘statche. I find this apt, as I as I can’t stand The Killers, his voice in particular…
Holy shit….it really does. 😀
I feel like with some basic video processing skills you could add a Hitler moustache digitally. Hell, you could have a whole channel of videos where you did that.
I have a feeling this already exists, but I am not about to go looking for it on my work computer…
I can see the comments on those videos now.
2/10 not hiltery enogh,,,
“Damnit Low Commander, why do you always find a way to use an Authority Zero song for Request Line?”
“Because they always have a song that applies! And look! Tunsil is even in the album art!”
Too soon?
Now I have to explain to my employees why I wore black eye shadow to work.
X 4th of July
“Dry your tears and baby walk outside/
It’s the 4th of July”
And you’re still in the Green Room.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_tyWt_9Bfs
I love that song. John Doe gettin all melancholy.
Let’s just get the title track out of the way…
The Human League – Don’t You Want Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0
Oh man, as someone who doesn’t have particularly good teeth, let me be the first to cast a stone – they should NOT have done a close-up of that guy’s mouth.
Oh that’s good.
Yeah, I’ve got a LOT of songs lined up for today.
By the time today’s over, I fully expect all of us to be depressed and pissed off at one another.
That being said, I’ll wait until I know Hippo has arroved before breaking out the depressing Country. He loves Country so much.
/I may or may not be lying about that last bit.
Double shot!
Mother I’ve tried please believe me/I’m doing the best that I can/I’m ashamed of things I’ve been put through/I’m ashamed of the person I am.
Man, Ian why don’t you just end it all now?
Oh, sorry.