Foxy Footy’s Crowning Weekend? Plus Rounds 4-7!

As an Evertonian, I’m up early today mostly to boo. Plus I have to wake up kids and drive them around for various school-related shit. Parenting is hard, even half-assed single Dad parenting.

Yes, our dear friends at Leicester City only need 3 points out of 9 (or Spurs to drop 3 of 9, or some combo thereof), thanks to Spurs bottling an easy Monday Night Footy fixture after sitting on a 1-nil lead for a long fucking time. We’uns in 90-95% territory now, and that’s probably an understatement.

Don’t get up TOO EARLY, as there’s nothing before the 10:00 window on Saturday. Which is full of shit matches anyway, with NBCSN and USA both showing dull matches with relegation-fighting sides. I will boo Everton (Tim Howard will play for the first time in months), as will most of the home crowd, since the Board is too lazy/cheap to fire Roberto Martinez ahead of the match against the Cherries. Hate watch on Extra Time!

Even the 12:30 on big NBC is a relegation match (Norwich/Arsenal), plus it cuts into THE DRAFT. Fuck that noise. There are punters to be selected.

The real action is Sunday Funay, with Foxy Footy possibly clinching the title at Old Trafford (9:05, NBCSN). What a perfect “Barbarians at the Gate” setting that would be, yes? Plus it would spare me seeing them clinch against Everton at home the following week, though their fans really deserve to see that moment at home. But I bet they’d be fine with not waiting. If you haven’t seen one footy match all season, watch this one.

Soton and City square off next (11:30, NBCSN), which has meaning in the mildly interesting race for 3rd place between City and Arsenal (City currently leads on goal differential). It’s not totally out of the question that City could catch Spurs if they totally fell apart once the title race ended. But bloody unlikely.

Monday Night Footy is Spurs yet again, this time against Chelski at Stamford Bridge (3:00, NBCSN). Chelski’s run of improved form has gone wobbly of late, but I’m sure they will be up to play spoiler here, as all the London clubs hate for any of the other to succeed. A game to watch if the Foxes leave the door cracked.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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makeitsnowondem

I’m not watching NFLN, did they just have Chip Kelly on?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
makeitsnowondem

Founders Sumatra Mountain Brown now. Love me some Founders coffee beers.

Sudfeld looks like Doug Flutie trapped in Joe Flacco’s body.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yeah, that’s a much better pick than Prescott.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did your scouting department and film review tell you that?

theeWeeBabySeamus

How did I know that would get a rise out of you?
Must have been my scouting department and film study.
😉

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

And honestly, I really do like the Reynolds pick.
Kid’s a bit undersized, but he’s a gamer.
And yes, I’ve watched him frequently.

WCS

Pisses me off he’s a Raven. Navy grad, tough runner, smart as hell… he’s going to be an exceptional officer. And now, he’s a fucking Ratbird.

We were thisclose to moving to Annapolis instead back to Yinzburgh three years ago, and would have been living in the shadow of the Academy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Annapolis is awesome.
And all those reasons you just listed are why I like the pick.
Plus they invited an old white man to their draft party.
DIVERSITY IN MD, BY GOD.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure your analytical skills are second to none.

I wanted a scouting department, and now I think I should have went that way instead of a 401k.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah Moose, I’ve got a crack (giggity) team here in my personal war room. They just told me you were gonna piss and moan no matter what I reply, so I figured what the hell?

Sorry if my (and others’) admittedly non-expert opinions have offended your sensibilities. Speaking only for myself, I’ll try to be more considerate from here on out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Way to take my calling your expertness out poorly. None of us know shit about 99% of these guys and I’m just giving you shit for acting like you do. But, please, go on and tell us about the measurables.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, bcuz THAT’S what I said. Never claimed to be an expert. Nor did anyone else here as far as I know.

I’m disengaging now. Enjoy your funk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t give you shit for a fourth round pick? ‘OK.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
makeitsnowondem

Moose, I love you man, but I don’t know what fun there is in watching the third day of the draft if we can’t make ill-founded and meaningless snap judgments about players we watched for between zero and thirty seconds last year. Deep down, we all know we’ll be wrong about most everything. It’s still fun to play armchair analyst for a few days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry if I came off as this bad; it was meant to give you shit about being experts.

Maybe this is it:

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/46/46f1ed6c3627606b70e80945dc232f67ae32bd7efe53ef507a11dd0a84349bc3.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least I’m not narcissistic.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My coronary arteries just exploded just from looking at that.
/would still eat it as I bleed out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

“Parenting is hard, even half-assed single Dad parenting.”

/obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZooKCOngg-4

On an unrelated note, Sup Arizona Cardinals NFL Network Spanish chick that introduced the flag football team.I’d like to eat her pupusa.

Spanky Datass

I finally got off my lazy internet ass (PHRASING!) and found the tumblr that these come from and its amazing!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/43fcc882b509364605ab3d0f023c1207/tumblr_o60ffgMVZT1uhyibpo1_500.jpg

Wakezilla

Wonder Woman was on the Love Boat?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It was invisible that week so don’t beat yourself up.

Spanky Datass

Nope. Just some wonderfully twisted dude’s tumblr. http://tmv.proto.jp/#!/loveboatinsanity

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

Mostly sunny, 69 (PHRASING!) with a refreshing north breeze here. The dreck you are dealing with is supposed to roll in on Sunday evening.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/4e6e037ed4eaa441f07182be95154484/tumblr_o478zmtIhd1r5568mo1_500.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not really complaining, just thinking it could slide to the week days…. no, OK.

scotchnaut

Every once in a weird old while a guy like Moritz comes along and doesn’t know the scripted answers.

laserguru

The Vikings drafted an O-lineman from Western Michigan named Willie Beavers. I hope he chooses Jared Allen’s old #69 jersey number.

Marketing!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder what his sister’s name is……

theeWeeBabySeamus

Frieda

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharon

Unsurprised

Eda.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I said NO ANCHOVIES!!!!
Oh wait, never mind.

...

Delivery Man: “Wait, what about my tip?”

Naked Woman: “WHAT? What kind of woman do you think I am?”

WCS

The bizarrely amazing amount of WVU players taken in this draft both delights and frightens me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rebuilding year in Morgantown?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With more meth labs.

WCS

Actually, we should be pretty solid. Lots of returning talent on offense, less said about defense the better. The schedule is friendly this season, with OU, K-State, TCU, and Baylor in Morganhole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

LOTS of meth labs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

/Bitches long and loud about how draft “experts” are inaccurate, don’t know what they’re talking about, etc.

// completely takes “experts” opinion on player and bitches long and loud about a team’s pick and how stupid an entire scouting department and analysis throughout an established and proven personnel department is.

///forgets entire draft the following season.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/d33bee3674e4668e6c4ac3056cd365d5/tumblr_o68742peqp1uvb28co3_1280.jpg

...

I think that’s the part that that annoys me. These draft experts have NEVER had to put their money where their mouth is but are eager to trash people who must. You think you’re good? Run a fucking draft room, then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True, I was speaking of your common fan, but yes; the video and mock drafts exist.

...

Oh man, the common fan is even WORSE.

makeitsnowondem

You’re justified in being concerned about a draft pick if ESPN starts by showing tape of the player’s father.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Dez Bryant.

scotchnaut

[makes series of Verizon ads]

[cashes in several large cheques]

[cashes in his credibility]

-Ricky Gervais

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How is he any different from most other comedians now?

scotchnaut

I’m not sure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A shittonne (metric) have turned to shilling, and it is fucking depressing.

scotchnaut

[blows smoke in your face]

-Doug Stanhope

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He bemoans it too.

makeitsnowondem

Well, he’s a pitchman, but he’s the edgiest pitchman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least it was for beer, although he does voice over and other ones too.

...

Still better than Mike Rowe.

Unsurprised

What credibility?

Anyway, I like how David Cross explained why he did Alvin & the chipmunks 3. “I found a nice house in upstate New York.”

makeitsnowondem

The Booker pick is good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How do you know?

makeitsnowondem

I can’t reveal my sources.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just what I thought.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

All I see is some wheelbarrow owner with a great rack.

scotchnaut

“Franz Klammer reference!”

-no NFL fan ever

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope Lincoln Kennedy doesn’t eat the cute little Hispanic girl.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He doesn’t seem like a big oral sex guy, but hey, who knows?

*more phrasing.

scotchnaut

I’ll always be a Cardale fan because of what he did in the National Champeenship game. And I’m not a fan of Ohio State.

Duchess

The story was great… 3rd stringer comes in and just wrecks shit. Hell he is probably still 2nd best QB on the Bills right now.

Unsurprised

Second best? Did Rex hire Sanchez again?

makeitsnowondem

Started the day off right with Clown Shoes The Barista Breakfast Brown. Can’t wait for them to barrel age this one.

Now drinking Jolly Pumpkin/Evil Twin/Leelenau Innovator Man, and oh boy, this this is intense. Maybe a little too chemical, but I like the sour/bitter thing it’s got going on. Plus, strawberries.

laserguru

I’m intrigued.

A breakfast brown for breakfast.

I’m still a few hours away from getting after it. Things to do and all.

...

Revolution has a nice coffee brown ale I snared a sixer of today. Not sure if it’ll be as tasty as their Bean Gene porter, though.

Duchess

Does that Seahawks father knows they didn’t win the super bowl?

Duchess

Plummer could probably still start for the Broncos right now if he wanted.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plummah is total amatuah at da butt fumble.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/br-cdn/temp_images/2013/11/22/Butfummble.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I realize the buttfumble is hilarious and all, he is 4-2 in the playoffs with a good defense.

And no, you can’t play after that long of a time off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His stats for two years in Chips offense were better than than both Bronco’s QBs last season…. and they won a couple of nice games.

scotchnaut

Booker is Lispy’s 2nd rated RB?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cowboys get the steal of the draft.
Dammit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We’ll find out in five years or so.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think sooner. It ain’t like Romo is gonna stay healthy.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All except the very bast take 3 to 5 years to figure it out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

As a general rule I totally agree.
I really think Prescott is special tho. Was really wishing the Ravens would grab him up since they had basically HALF THE GODDAMNED FOURTH ROUND TO THEMSELVES AND COULD HAVE EASILY DONE IT.
/fuck you ozzie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With Ozzie’s history I’d trust him substantially more than your feeling.

scotchnaut

“The Packers “war room” looks as though it hasn’t been updated since 1975.”

-Interior decorator’s take on the draft

Duchess

Haven’t seen so much air time for Peyton’s Balls since he teabagged the team manager.

ballsofsteelandfury

Somebody is angling for a banner quote!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great joke, unfortunately his sexual assault didn’t get near enough air time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry; ALLEGED.

Duchess

I had to argue with people who thought “Boys will be boys”

laserguru

I’ve got another quick rant.
Mother’s Day.

I get the sentiment. I really do. Ma died 13 years ago, breast cancer and I don’t need to be reminded of it annually.
Last year I’m doing my regular weekly grocery store run and the cashier, a still very sweet girl, asked me if I had called my mother for Mother’s Day.

I told her that I hadn’t because I was worried about roaming charges.

Be careful around people. Some of them get edgy.

scotchnaut

I’m not too much worried about Mother’s Day because I’m estranged from her unrelentingly negative passive-aggressive racist ass.*

*perhaps I’ve said Sill Bimmons**

**too much

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You shoulda gone full Batman on her….

OK, maybe not, but still

...

This is one of those situations where, if you’ve made peace with your mom’s death, just casually drop that she’s dead and that you miss her.

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

laserguru

Where?

...

This never gets old.

Duchess

dear lord Chicago stop bringing out kids. Guess what those kids don’t want to be there they want to be at home playing call of duty.

Duchess

Why did the NFLN guys lose their shit over the Bush pick?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

24 hour sports news cycle needs hot takes.

herodotus450

Maybe they are all Miami (OH) fans.

Duchess

apparently they were giggling about Bushes… cause Rich Eisen said if the nxt pick is a Johnson he’s out of there.

laserguru

You know what sounds good? A soft scrambled egg and cheese sandwich.
I like to sprinkle my eggs with some black truffle salt and freshly ground black pepper.

OK I’m getting up now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Needs oregano, crushed red pepper, onions, garlic. …. IMO.

scotchnaut

It’s a fairly nice day out there but I’m in the mood to listen to (mostly) white guys salivate over genetic anomalies.

Duchess

Hey Bengals show me the baby don’t tell me about the birth assholes.

Duchess

Im pretty sure that kid just chanted “G-E-T-S, Jets, Jets Jets”

Duchess

“Me Fail English thats unpossible”
-Rasheed Davis

theeWeeBabySeamus

I turn on the circus….errr Draft, only to be hit square in the earholes by Dick Vitale schtick.
/turns off tv
//smashes remote just in case

laserguru

Reason #12548 to hate the face book.
My Auntie died over a year ago, I went back to Texas for the funeral and gave my love to the rest of the family and still miss her.

I have a face book notification today telling me to wish my dear auntie a happy birthday.

You sick fucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Belated condolences….and a Happy Heavenly B-day to Auntie.
And, fb is all teh suck.

herodotus450

I hate facebook as much as the next guy, and I’m sure this is not what facebook had in mind when they programmed the function which checks the date and notifies you of friends’ birfdays, but maybe it can be a good thing; a reminder of that person; you’ll never forget her birthday even now.

laserguru

That’s a nice way to look at it and it did make me remember her.

It also made me want some Texas brisket.
Great, now I want barbecue.

herodotus450

I’m not usually that optimistic; a unsettling sign that I’ve sobered up. At least I’m getting my money’s worth out of my semicolon key today though.

Duchess

The Chargers drafted Boltman in the first round

Duchess

MSNBC is interviewing folks at the Indianapolis Comic Con about politics.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Are they arguing about who would REALLY win in real life yet? Superman or Batman?
/because it’s totally Batman

ThursdaySkyGoddess

The Ginger Hammer doesn’t have one ounce of charisma in his gingery non-soul. He’s like a malfunctioning robot.

I really wish I had put $20 on Leicester in August.

laserguru

Convalescing is a hell of a thing.
I despise slovenly-ness yet it’s not only being encouraged I’m being basically forced into it.

Fuck it, I’m still doing Sunday Gravy.

They can’t stop me!

laserguru

We’re gonna have some late arrivals today.
Did you see how late those crazy kids stayed up on the draft thread last night/this morning?

I feel positively old in comparison.
Although I was the first to suggest music.

Good morning Commentist Party!

Unsurprised

That banner pic is nauseating.

Unsurprised

He’s all fucking jelly.

montythisseemsstrangetome

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