One of the things that has happened in the wake of the Oakland Raiders relentless march toward competence is that I am paying a lot more attention to team-related coverage. There are some folks out there doing some incredible work with analysis (GipsySafety on Reddit and Coach Ted over at Raiders Film Analysis are both brilliant) but when you sift through all the team-related news and commentary you can end up getting pretty frustrated with some of the, shall we say, less cultured opinions of your team’s fellow fans. One thing about the internet in general that drives me crazy is the inability of people to use the correct form of a homonym (affect/effect, reign/rein, etc). Since these mistakes are particularly prevalent in sports takes (hell, misusing homonyms is a big part of PFT Commenter’s schtick), I thought it would be interesting to take a look at which team’s fans are the worst (and best) at using the correct homonym forms.
My methodology was pretty straightforward: I took three common homonym mistakes that turn up fairly frequently in hot sports takes – “duel threat”, “complimentary back”, and “fair better”, did a Google search for each one associated with a particular team (sample search: Green Bay Packers “duel threat”), and tabulated the results. To control things for teams that nobody is actually discussing (well hello there, Tennessee Titans!*) I counted the number of hits for the correct usage (Green Bay Packers “dual threat”) and calculated the percentage used incorrectly, then ranked the teams. The team’s final rank was based on the sum of the three rankings.
And which team’s fans have the worst command of homonyms? In a turn that will shock no one, it’s the New York Jets, followed closely by their local rivals, the Giants! Which team’s fans were the best? Turns out it’s the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some statistical oddities – there was actually not a whole lot of variation for the population as a whole. People were quite good at “duel threat” – with an average error rate of just 5.8%. People were TERRIBLE at “complimentary back” (the phrase that actually inspired this work) with an average error rate of 36.7%. “Fair better” was in the middle at 10.5%. Buffalo had the most schizophrenic performance, ranking absolute last for “duel threat” but 2nd for “complimentary back”. The Cowboys and Eagles did better than I expected, coming in at 13th and 21st, respectively. And amazingly, the Oakland Raiders fans that have been driving me so crazy placed 6th overall.
The table below shows the basic results, and if you want to look at things in a bit more depth there’s a Google spreadsheet here.
Overall Rank | Team | “duel threat” | “complimentary back” | “fair better” |
1 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers | 4 | 8 | 2 |
2 | Arizona Cardinals | 1 | 6 | 12 |
3 | Cincinnati Bengals | 8 | 5 | 7 |
4 | Jacksonville Jaguars | 9 | 11 | 3 |
5 | Atlanta Falcons | 2 | 3 | 22 |
6 | Oakland Raiders | 6 | 18 | 10 |
7 | Chicago Bears | 21 | 13 | 4 |
8 | Green Bay Packers | 28 | 12 | 1 |
9 | New England Patriots | 26 | 14 | 5 |
10 | Cleveland Browns | 5 | 26 | 15 |
11 | Seattle Seahawks | 17 | 4 | 25 |
12 | Tennessee Titans | 3 | 15 | 30 |
13 | Dallas Cowboys | 10 | 32 | 8 |
14 | San Francisco 49ers | 24 | 1 | 26 |
15 | Indianapolis Colts | 25 | 7 | 19 |
16 | Carolina Panthers | 19 | 16 | 16 |
17 | Baltimore Ravens | 29 | 9 | 13 |
18 | Buffalo Bills | 32 | 2 | 18 |
19 | Washington [*Redacted] s | 15 | 10 | 28 |
20 | Los Angeles Rams | 7 | 17 | 29 |
21 | Philadelphia Eagles | 13 | 30 | 11 |
22 | Kansas City Chiefs | 27 | 22 | 6 |
23 | Denver Broncos | 18 | 21 | 17 |
24 | Houston Texans | 11 | 27 | 20 |
25 | Minnesota Vikings | 22 | 29 | 9 |
26 | Detroit Lions | 20 | 28 | 14 |
27 | Miami Dolphins | 14 | 31 | 23 |
28 | New Orleans Saints | 12 | 25 | 32 |
29 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 30 | 20 | 21 |
30 | San Diego Chargers | 16 | 24 | 31 |
31 | New York Giants | 23 | 23 | 27 |
32 | New York Jets | 31 | 19 | 24 |
*Curiously, based on my searches, the LEAST talked about team was actually the Arizona Cardinals.
It’s not a homonym mistake, but I want to see an analysis for loose/lose style mistakes.
Oh Christ, Denver is DEFINITELY 32 in THAT
Yeah, that would be a good one too.
You lost me.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-39919-Angry-Anchorman-Jeremiah-Johns-N2xz.gif
A complimentary back is a tailback you get free with your continental breakfast.
As said below; a duel threat is easily explained.
The Golden Rain of Richard III was a real thing too.
http://fr.web.img1.acsta.net/medias/nmedia/18/68/45/56/19028239.jpg
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/conan-hulking-out.gif
Something something of course packers fans don’t type well, fingers too fat for keyboards. Cheese.
BIRDCANO is #2 on this list but I think that’s mostly because their QB is immobile and both our running backs have the same name so people already know they are complementary. Probably just less searches for stuff people already know, ya no?
Titans at the bottom of anything involving “fair” and “better”? Color me shocked.
I’m gonna presume that Teddy’s Bridge is a Twins fan, and thus not gloat.
But Tyler Wilson doing his Mike Mussina impression today did my black heart some good.
Adam Jones does white face.
No one is offended.
http://wnst.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/adamjonespie1.jpg
Ehh, gloat away. Baseball is too slow of a game for me.
Although if they’re doing well I’ll gladly hop on the bandwagon. (I know they’re not)
He always shows his O-face.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/3539231/angry-grandpa-destroys-kitchen-o.gif
So I legitimately did not know these were two separate words. I payed 50 grand for s higher education and all I got was this bullshit?
“A mere fifty thousand? Why yes, those are the results that are to be expected with such a niggardly attitude towards your education.”
– Jason Garrett
“Niggardly.”
“Dead Honky.”
very NSFW(language)
https://youtu.be/z2u1bpXVGHE
::Sill’s ears ring in a distance::
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/3446430/angry-bus-driver-o.gif
Olivia Munn wishes Aaron Rodgers were a duel threat Quarterback, instead of preferring deep penetration with tight ends.
Richie Incognito was a Doo Threat. And probably also a duel threat from all indications.
Sounds like R Kelly, he can getcha with teh 1 or teh 2, depending on mood,, amirite??
I see piss comin’….I move.
She saw piss comin’….she stayed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4zC0dnW-Vw
The entire AFC West is a social embarrassment EXCEPT FOAR the Oakland Raiders.
One never expects to see/type that particular sentence.
/also, wouldn’t expect anything to appear with respect to the Chefs other than “You gonna eat that?”
I definitely took some pleasure in those results.
http://reactiongif.org/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/11/angry-dirty-look-fuming-mad-Nicholas-Cage-Nick-Cage-phone-GIF.gif
So, yinzer are down at the bottom. I’m disappointed, but not surprised.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/072011/1310121676_angry_wrestler.gif
Donald Trump hated “Watership Down”. The number one google search for him was hare peace.
CotW
Did a similar search on words used by Ravens fans.
Results:
Buy purple camo jorts – 60%
Cheap Ray Rice jersey – 10%
Ray Lewis conspiracy – 5%
meaning of “elite” – 10%
steeler jokes – 15%
Top words used by Ravens fans
1. Your Honor
2. That isn’t mine!
3. Pssst…hey, you want to buy a __________
As someone who lives deep in rural Minnesota, I question Vikings fans ability to know those terms at all, much less use them wrongly.
The Rams and Eagles are both making offers to the Jets for the first pick in next year’s homonym draft.
PHI will offer a two, a too, a 2018 for, and a 2020 ate for the top overall next year.
Nein. I want nein picks four the first pic in the draught.
-Martha Ford
Deer Jets Fan’s,
Suck it. Your worst than us.
Respectively,
Giant’s Fans.
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2008/0929/radio_e_carl_412.jpg
In we Jet fans defense, “duel threat” was used quite a bit to describe complementary RBs Mike Goodson and Chris Johnson.
Gilbert Arenas was the original duel threat professional athlete, ppl forget that.
Aaron Burr wants a word. He’ll bring the pistols.
Obligatory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o51rzRr1GJY
This post adze value too are sight.
Theirs teh door, NERD
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/168635/angry-cat-o.gif
Raiders + Coach Ted:
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/2015/08/31/115457/84710541/ted-bundy-last-words.jpg
NERD!
*Woo! Niners come in first in one indeterminate category! I’m afraid our use of “complimentary back” won’t do much to change our real 1st place of “Likely to come in last place of the 2016 season”
Pfft. All the ridicule in the world won’t phase me after Google itself insinuated that I was being a huge dork and made me fill out a captcha.
Googles “49ers running backs”
So…who the hell is Mike Davis?
Hey! Don’t forget the incredibly stoppable Shaun Draughn! He was on my fantasy team for a while last year!
I.. uh… didn’t have a good year.
I’m sure “Complimentary back” is also the title of the guy who follows Trent Baalke around all day stroking his ego.
Wait, Trent Baalke isn’t a football genius????
I don’t know if Aaron Rodgers is a complimentary back, but he’s awfully polite.