I promise no more anti-Toronto ranting today. After hearing about the Cleveland face wash* they received, it’s taken some of the air out of the bandwagon’s tires. Not sure about tomorrow; check with me later.         _{^*Shockingly, not a term found in the Urban Dictionary. Moose?}

The banner picture comes from a pretty cool / bad parenting story about a father who wanted to fly near an exploding volcano, and the daughter he was watching that day being brought along while not knowing any better. That she can tell the story makes it cool; they go down in dumbass history if that plane crashes. Reminder: the Mt. St. Helens eruption killed approximately 57 people; “approximately” because they never found all the bodies. The Mom’s reaction was, “They made it home, so why get mad?” Clearly, I was raised in a totally different house.

FYI: May 18th is also

• the start date for the Seven Year’s War (1756), and the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln winning the 1860 Republican nomination over William Seward.
  • Seward would eventually turn that frown upside-down to become Secretary of State, survive an assassination attempt, and purchase Alaska. TOP THAT CRUZ!
• the birthdate of
  • Don Martin (artist)
  • Jimmy Snuka (wrestler/manslaughterer)
  • Suze Randall (photographer)

Celebrate the one you want. Google those names carefully; I chose the coward’s way out with my at-work image search.

NFL News & Notes:

• 

  Sam Bradford & Carson Wentz finally had coffee together. I’m sure Wentz talked about his parents, his childhood, and what it was like to go to school in North Dakota, and Bradford probably told Wentz to go fuck himself every five seconds.

• Andrew Luck said he has “an obligation to keep himself healthy”. No word on whether the fans or the owner feel the same responsibility.
• The Chargers claimed Zach Mettenberger off waivers Tuesday, because nobody beats the Whis.
  • One story has the Titans trying to trade him during the draft, but no one would part with even a 7th-rounder. That’s gotta feel good.
• Florio is reporting that the League might retain use of the replay-review pipeline to the league office for reasons other than replay review that was used through the playoffs during the regular season as well. A decision could come as early as next week. Hochuli plans on asking them to track his reps.

Politics: Hillary & Bernie each won a state, but the delegate counts are a wash due to each other’s second-place proximity. Even if she doesn’t win California, Hillary should be the nominee come July. About her inability to yet seal the deal, Lewis Black had a pretty good point about Hillary on “The Nightly Show”:

“The thing about Hillary,” Black said later, “is the fact she never went away. Everyone who ever runs for president goes away. Richard Nixon went away. Mitt Romney didn’t appear until, like, four weeks ago! And then you go, ‘Wow! Oh, wow! I forgot! You’re not so bad!’ She’s the one who’s in the carpool with you for 10 fucking years, and every morning you got that cup of coffee and you’re going, ‘I can’t believe I gotta pick her up again.’”

Question: what’s left in her or Trump’s closet that could surprise us at this point? Consensus is that BENGHAZI and the emails aren’t enough for anyone outside a Minuteman compound, and Colbert mused last night that “Trump doesn’t let anything go, except aging women”. It’s political fantasy football, but with no commissioner. So, I’m officially starting the rumour (the “u” makes it classy) that Hillary Clinton & Donald Trump briefly dated in the 1980s. It ties in with the conspiracy theory that Trump’s candidacy is actually a favor to help Hillary win.

My brother sent me this link:

I don’t know why it exists; I’m just happy that it does.

Tonight’s action:

NHL: Pittsburgh @ Tampa – 8:00 (Game 3)

NBA: Thunder @ Warriors – 9:00 (Game 2)

I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but we are getting dangerously close to the point in the pre-preseason where the only sports-type things on TV will be the AFL, baseball and poker highlights. Luckily, in Canada, cultural heritage allows us to also carry copious amounts of darts coverage.

https://youtu.be/Wg691Ho8IRU

ONE HUNDRED AND FORRRRRRRRTY!