Champions League Final Open Thread

Before you do anything, click play on this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qqd6T_A9LY

And now you know what the hell they are saying when you hear that song on Fox all day today. The pre-game show starts at 11 AM Pacific with kickoff around 11:45.  As part of the fun, we get a special pre-game kickoff ceremony that Fox probably won’t broadcast, but which you may find on the Spanish broadcast which, interestingly enough, is on ESPN Deportes and NOT Fox Deportes.  That’s PK weird.  Anyway, here is last year’s show, for your viewing pleasure:

BTW, the pre-game show starts at 10 AM on ESPN Deportes, not 11 like Fox so maybe they will show more of the ceremony.

As for some actual game analysis, since I am the resident La Liga watcher/booster around these parts, King Hippo suggested I do the preview for the game since both teams are in La Liga and finished behind Barcelona.

Suck it, Madrid!

This year, The Madrid Derby was tied 1-1 when it was held in the Vicente Calderón, Atlético’s home ground, while Atlético won the game held at the Santiago Bernabeu, Real’s home ground by a score of 1-0.  The game, in recent years, has been a study in a clash of styles.

Atlético tries to win by playing extremely tough defense, forcing mistakes, and killing teams on the counter-attack.  Once they get a goal up, they can pretty much go on lockdown mode and end up winning by two or more as teams try everything in their power to score and leave themselves open at the back.

Real, on the other hand, are a team of superstars that focus more on attacking via their formidable group of forwards which includes Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema, and Gareth Bale, among others.  Therein lies the problem for Real Madrid.  They have too many stars that demand playing time and there are only 11 men on the field at any one time.  This problem has done in all previous coaches in the last few years including soon-to-be ManU coach Mourinho.

Former Real, French National Team, and head-butting superstar Zinedine Zidane has taken over the coaching duties and, for now, it looks like he’s found the magic formula. Real look to be playing the best they have all season.

The big story-line is that this is a rematch of the 2014 Champions League Final in which Atlético had a 1-0 lead deep into injury time at the end of the game only for Real to tie it up and then eventually score three (!) in extra time to win 4-1.  The styles of play then were pretty much the same as now.  Atlético could not hold on to their one-goal lead (as is their preference) that time.  What makes them think they can do it this time?

I think they have learned their lesson and will be more aggressive in seeking a second goal, should they score first again.  The story of this game will be written with the first goal.  Whoever scores it will win.

BTW, the stadiums are only roughly 4 miles apart.  That should make for a very interesting Saturday in Madrid.  I suggest you go to your local churreria and stock up on these for the game:

That way, no matter which team wins, you will be the ultimate winner.  Enjoy the game!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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JustStopDude

comment image

Am I the only one noticing it looks like something “4 RENT”?

King Hippo

Wait, he’s in love with the uptight dude from Benson??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice reference my brutha.
Seriously…as ‘Dog would say…Nice Pull.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

God I hate Ronaldo.

King Hippo

Only on a side like Real could he not be the biggest asshole.

Wakezilla

Hey, he has matured a lot over the past 2 years. He’s becoming a decent human being

Unsurprised
JustStopDude

Ramos has a VERY complicated tramp stamp…

King Hippo

Serious. I guess he was passed around quite a bit during his stay in juvie.

laserguru

And home.

What took 5 hours yesterday took about 3 1/2 today.
Holy shit the outbound 405 and 101 were so utterly fucked today. Feel sorry for those poor bastards.

Now it’s off to work for an hour or 2.

JustStopDude

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that…

My family expected me to make the 10 hour round trip drive up to Baltimore. I offered instead to have Memorial Weekend at my place. Even offered to shack everyone in hotels on my dime. Turns out none of them wanted to make that drive on their weekend off.

Yet for some fucking reason they think I do…

King Hippo

As with every major holiday weekend, my cracker ass is staying put on my fucking couch with my fucking pills and my fucking cats.

CHUH CHUH

Unsurprised

Most people just spritz water on them with a spray bottle when they do that.

Wakezilla

Funny how that works, huh?

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

comment image

JustStopDude

What the fuck was Dawkins thinking going onto reddit. Its like doing a Q&A in a mental hospital…

...

Dawkins takes himself so seriously that it’s awesome to watch people troll the fuck out of him. He’s the best example of a dude who fails to realize expertise in one field does make one an expert in everything.

King Hippo

Let’s just say Atletico won’t be content to take this to penalties…

JustStopDude

Oh my god a match just broke out!!!!

King Hippo

What a fucking turn of events!!!

Unsurprised

It would be a righteous act by a spiteful God

theeWeeBabySeamus

Former Duke Basketballers?

Fronkenshteen

Ah, the limpid tentacles of packed Mediterranean defense.
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JustStopDude

This Europeans need to learn how to play a real sport without flopping…

http://i.imgur.com/rCfmPdO.gif

Unsurprised

Tom Brady is proof that God is an asshole.

King Hippo

Man, fucking up a pen in a CL final has to feel purty bad…

Fronkenshteen

Jason Biggs looked upset there.

bourb0nblues

It kills me that he’s off the hook for that. FUCK!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Last one from me for the moment….gotta go deal with something.
Enjoy yourselves gents…see ya’s later.
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Wakezilla

Do you guys think the Warriors will come back or do you think they’re done?

I’m surprised how many strong takes there are out there with people saying the 70+ win season means nothing if they don’t win a championship.

In related news, on my way to work, I switched to AM news and got an american sports radio channel. Holy shit, they hire anyone over there, dont they? the guy gave a strong take. He said the Warriors would not have won had the players–he literally listed every player that got a point last game– didn’t score.

The messed up thing is that he meant it. A team won because they scored more points than the other? WEIRD.

Senor Weaselo

WORLD’S HOTTEST TAEK

...

You aren’t wrong about hiring just anyone. The meatball and hot-take blaster Mike North was just a slob selling hot dogs when someone plucked him off the street to do sports talk in Chicago. Naturally, he has all the opinions that an uneducated, insecure, quasi-bigoted dolt would have.

Senor Weaselo

Madre Weaselo bought me ghost pepper to try to grow this summer. How will they last in the New York summer? No idea. But I am excited.

Wakezilla

Ramos got the goal? That’s not a sexy name! I demand only the top scorers from both sides to score, damnit!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Way more spankable with little more junk, eh?

Wakezilla

Clearly skips leg days.

2/10. Would not bang

JustStopDude
King Hippo

how am I to know a woman is HAWT if’n I can’t see her ribs??

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think she’s fine as she is. But I also do think she looks better a little heavier.
http://www.speakerscorner.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/doutzen9.jpg

Wakezilla

Dammmmmm.

Someone is ultra strict with her diet and doesn’t eat any bloating foods

Wakezilla

Well, he better have a good Copa America then

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, internet older brother Rikki did the best he could at fixing the reply button and is going to leave everything else alone until internet daddy DTZM can get home and fix it for real. And now internet older brother Rikki is going to go fingerbang his cheerleader girlfriend, so you better stay the hell away from my room.

theeWeeBabySeamus

balls….you didn’t forget to put the nanny cam in his room did you?

Wakezilla

Is James playing?

King Hippo

sad but true

Unsurprised

Balls’s comment at 10:13 is so banner it turned green and heaved a bear into the next county over.

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/05/28/champions-league-final-open-thread/comment-page-1/#comment-186006

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s banner worthy itself.

JustStopDude
King Hippo

Reply still no worky for me, so I second Balls’ notion re Bale’s Princess Leia look. GET FUCKED.

King Hippo

HUZZAH!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m currently working on it, so reliability is iffy.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
King Hippo

all Real do is fall down on purpose.

bourb0nblues

hey hey!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Not its just you…

Wakezilla

Hmm. I can’t seem to respond to others’ posts. Anyone else having this problem?

JustStopDude

https://youtu.be/Kj5TL1l9QYQ

The Italians would have appreciated this music act more…

JustStopDude