Request Line: I Shot the Deejay

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

PRODUCER: …and so you’ll hear me through the earpiece, but of course the audience can’t hear any of it…

AQIB TALIB: [sipping from a cup of coffee] And then I just hit the “talkback” button if I need to speak to you guys and what I say won’t go out over the air?

PRODUCER: [delighted] That’s right!

TALIB: Don’t act so surprised, it was all right here in the packet you guys sent over to my agent [holds up a sheaf of papers].

PRODUCER: [smiles] You’ll have to accept my apology. I’m just not used to our guests from the NFL being so…well prepared. It’s really a pleasant surprise.

TALIB: Well, thanks. I’m honored that you guys extended the invitation.

PRODUCER: [flattered, beaming] It’s about time to start. You ready?

TALIB heads into the booth. He sets his coffee down – too close to the edge of the desk – and it tips over and spills onto the chair.

TALIB: Oh, bother!

PRODUCER: Don’t worry about it. Connor, would you go fetch him a clean chair?

The intern CONNOR wheels the original chair out of the office, then disappears down the hall in search of a new one.

TALIB: [standing behind the desk, hits the talkback button] Hey, is it okay if I use some of these “sound effect” buttons?

PRODUCER: Of course! Have fun! We’re live in three…two…one…

TALIB: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Request Line! We’ll be serving up you-call-it specials all night long, just give us a ring and let us know what you’d like to hear. Before we get started with the music, I want to tell you folks, I paid a visit to V Live last night – that’s a nightclub in Dallas – and you would not believe the ladies that were in attendance…[presses sound effects button]

TALIB: The champagne was flowin’…

TALIB: My buddy D-Train was getting a little bit too frisky, so the bouncers had a word with him.

TALIB: And then…

Connor returns with a new chair, wheels it in and AQIB TALIB sits down.

AQIB TALIB slumps back in his chair and his eyes flutter closed.

PRODUCER: Aqib? Aqib? [assumes he has fallen asleep] Ah goddamnit.  Better go get him some more coffee, Connor.  [sighs] And I thought we finally had a true professional on our hands.

All right, folks, it’s high noon, and in honor of AQIB TALIB finally giving us some juicy NFL news to keep us amused until training camp starts, today’s theme is GUNS! I’ll get us started with one of the classics.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, maybe just a LITTLE shitty country…
Miranda Lambert Double Shot (giggity)
Time to get a gun – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVnJTGQV8lY
Gunpowder and Lead – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5J08G-dyeA

ArmedandHammered

Motörhead – Shoot You In The Back Live

https://youtu.be/FtHa6pE6mVg

SonOfSpam

I’ll let about a quarter of my stock go, but DFO is too valuable to fully liquidate.

Spanky Datass
SonOfSpam

When can we do a Pilots theme? Don’t leave me hanging.

ArmedandHammered

The Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet with Butterfly Wings

https://youtu.be/8-r-V0uK4u0

ArmedandHammered

Got to stop mulit-tasking, as Herr Doktor got there before me.

Spanky Datass
Doktor Zymm

This is always my first choice karaoke song!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaron Lewis – Granddaddy’s Gun
(yes, THAT Aaron Lewis, doing his country thing)
((don’t worry, not gonna load this list up with shitty country…but I could, oh I could))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QvD52siPU

Wakezilla

Don’t worry, I could do the same with Rap.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite? I just seems unfair, LOL.

Spanky Datass

I’m game.
Willie Nelson: Shotgun Willie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK-7k8MHvnE
Although this one isn’t ‘shitty country’. imho.

Doktor Zymm

Doktor Zymm

Wakezilla

Anthrax– Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvgODQrX2nc

ArmedandHammered

Supreme Beings of Leisure: Under the Gun

https://youtu.be/nFEpMoZr1_Q

Doktor Zymm

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/shows self out

blaxabbath

ArmedandHammered

Wall Of Voodoo “Shouldn’t Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas”

https://youtu.be/rf3_rg-VYvQ

Reminds me of when my father gave my nephew (10 years old) a 30 06 during a crowded present exchange at home and didn’t clear it first. Nice hole in the newly installed wood floor. My dad still laughs about it and thinks it’s a funny story. Gotta love that mountain upbringing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hole in floor > Hole in Grandma’s thoracic cavity

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Obligatory:

blaxabbath

theeWeeBabySeamus

Def Leppard – Billy’s Got a Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BDBVszev5E

theeWeeBabySeamus
Spanky Datass

Lynyrd Skynyrd : Saturday Night Special
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWBoeY0AAec

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn you. I was LITERALLY just posting this.
Doh!!!!

Spanky Datass

I’m surprised you didn’t beat me to it ’cause my computer is acting wonky as hell. I think I might shoot it! That’ll learn this infernal machine!

Spanky Datass

DOUBLE SHOT!
Gimme Back My Bullets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk83VHblPhE

theeWeeBabySeamus

STOP THAT!!!!!

Wakezilla

OK, Last one as I have to do work. . .

Nancy Sinatra– Bang Bang

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEQQ1R1e5rQ

ArmedandHammered

Southern Culture On The Skids- Shotgun

https://youtu.be/nQ8sO3L_qPE

Wakezilla
theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

The sound on the above clip is shitty.
Listen to this one instead….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKG-G0SDO9w

ArmedandHammered

Had both in my collection – same song two very different versions

Guns Of Brixton

Jimmy Cliff – https://youtu.be/rt10xjeIKlY

The Clash – https://youtu.be/hiQoq-wqZxg

ArmedandHammered

Goddamit, I see Don T already has it covered. Looks for reading glasses….

Wakezilla

Don’t worry, our posts are coming fast and furious as there are so many good songs with a gun theme.

Wakezilla

Bob Marley– I shot the Sherrif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XiYUYcpsT4

ArmedandHammered

Stone Temple Pilots – Silver Gun Superman

https://youtu.be/bmVZDopspPU

laserguru

This one is especially for Aqib Talib:

SonOfSpam

“Amateur.”

– R Budd Dwyer

ArmedandHammered

Parliament – Bop Gun

https://youtu.be/SkBHwY5xVCc

JerBear50

I’ll see your opening scene and raise you a closing shootout from The Wild Bunch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJMxGFco57Y

Wakezilla

F*ck Tha Police by NWA

https://youtu.be/9jOqOlETcRU

laserguru

Got myself all worked up now.

This one’s about killing Bin Laden.

Don T

Rage ATM – Bullet in the Head
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v5NeyI4-fdI

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

DOUBLE SHOT’D

montythisseemsstrangetome

Love this song, and one of my favorite song titles:

Dandy Warhols – The Legend of the Last of the Outlaw Truckers AKA The Ballad of Sheriff Shorty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPKtdm7DKKU

laserguru

Ferocious song.

The samples are from the movie “Falling Down” obviously.

The final 2 lines:
“This has no solution.”
“This has no conclusion.”

Turn this shit up REAL loud.

SonOfSpam

KISS – Love Gun (may be about a penis)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trR5ROuf1Uk

BrettFavresColonoscopy

montythisseemsstrangetome

Beatles – Happiness Is A Warm Gun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjhb6dVnyvU

Wakezilla

Janie’s Got a Gun by Aerosmith

https://youtu.be/RqQn2ADZE1A

Don T
laserguru

Outstanding work, Stagger Lee!

laserguru

This one’s for you, Rikki!

laserguru

Goddamn, I love this song.

Sing it Junior!

SonOfSpam

Was just about to post this…but isn’t this Steve Winwood?

laserguru

’tis

Wakezilla

Hendrix- Machine Gun

https://youtu.be/slcUOvvDG8o

Wakezilla

Dat guitar playing

Kungjitsu

Jimi sitting on that note at the beginning of the solo is the greatest moment in rock ‘n roll history.

SonOfSpam

DOUBLE SHOT pew pew

Hendrix – Hey Joe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is my fave Hendrix song. Embedding the longer version for you:

montythisseemsstrangetome
Wakezilla
laserguru

Triple shot!!!

laserguru

Seems like an obvious choice:

laserguru

laserguru

Double shot!
See what I did there?