INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
PRODUCER: …and so you’ll hear me through the earpiece, but of course the audience can’t hear any of it…
AQIB TALIB: [sipping from a cup of coffee] And then I just hit the “talkback” button if I need to speak to you guys and what I say won’t go out over the air?
PRODUCER: [delighted] That’s right!
TALIB: Don’t act so surprised, it was all right here in the packet you guys sent over to my agent [holds up a sheaf of papers].
PRODUCER: [smiles] You’ll have to accept my apology. I’m just not used to our guests from the NFL being so…well prepared. It’s really a pleasant surprise.
TALIB: Well, thanks. I’m honored that you guys extended the invitation.
PRODUCER: [flattered, beaming] It’s about time to start. You ready?
TALIB heads into the booth. He sets his coffee down – too close to the edge of the desk – and it tips over and spills onto the chair.
TALIB: Oh, bother!
PRODUCER: Don’t worry about it. Connor, would you go fetch him a clean chair?
The intern CONNOR wheels the original chair out of the office, then disappears down the hall in search of a new one.
TALIB: [standing behind the desk, hits the talkback button] Hey, is it okay if I use some of these “sound effect” buttons?
PRODUCER: Of course! Have fun! We’re live in three…two…one…
TALIB: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Request Line! We’ll be serving up you-call-it specials all night long, just give us a ring and let us know what you’d like to hear. Before we get started with the music, I want to tell you folks, I paid a visit to V Live last night – that’s a nightclub in Dallas – and you would not believe the ladies that were in attendance…[presses sound effects button]
TALIB: The champagne was flowin’…
TALIB: My buddy D-Train was getting a little bit too frisky, so the bouncers had a word with him.
TALIB: And then…
Connor returns with a new chair, wheels it in and AQIB TALIB sits down.
AQIB TALIB slumps back in his chair and his eyes flutter closed.
PRODUCER: Aqib? Aqib? [assumes he has fallen asleep] Ah goddamnit. Better go get him some more coffee, Connor. [sighs] And I thought we finally had a true professional on our hands.
—
All right, folks, it’s high noon, and in honor of AQIB TALIB finally giving us some juicy NFL news to keep us amused until training camp starts, today’s theme is GUNS! I’ll get us started with one of the classics.
OK, maybe just a LITTLE shitty country…
Miranda Lambert Double Shot (giggity)
Time to get a gun – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVnJTGQV8lY
Gunpowder and Lead – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5J08G-dyeA
DOUBLE TAP DOUBLE SHOT
Motörhead – Shoot You In The Back Live
https://youtu.be/FtHa6pE6mVg
Hey so apparently Gawker has declared bankruptcy. Should we pool our DFO stakes and perform a leveraged buyout of Deadspin?
I’ll let about a quarter of my stock go, but DFO is too valuable to fully liquidate.
Alice In Chains: Rooster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAE6Il6OTcs
DOUBLE SHOT OF SONGS I’LL BE RECYCLING IF WE EVER DO A ‘PILOTS’ THEME:
When can we do a Pilots theme? Don’t leave me hanging.
Who let Tony Dungy’s kid in here?
The Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet with Butterfly Wings
https://youtu.be/8-r-V0uK4u0
Got to stop mulit-tasking, as Herr Doktor got there before me.
U2 : Bullet the Blue Sky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdmNC8ylrXI
This is always my first choice karaoke song!
Aaron Lewis – Granddaddy’s Gun
(yes, THAT Aaron Lewis, doing his country thing)
((don’t worry, not gonna load this list up with shitty country…but I could, oh I could))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QvD52siPU
Don’t worry, I could do the same with Rap.
Inorite? I just seems unfair, LOL.
I’m game.
Willie Nelson: Shotgun Willie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK-7k8MHvnE
Although this one isn’t ‘shitty country’. imho.
Anthrax– Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvgODQrX2nc
Supreme Beings of Leisure: Under the Gun
https://youtu.be/nFEpMoZr1_Q
Nice.
/shows self out
Look at him shoot that gap!
Wall Of Voodoo “Shouldn’t Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas”
https://youtu.be/rf3_rg-VYvQ
Reminds me of when my father gave my nephew (10 years old) a 30 06 during a crowded present exchange at home and didn’t clear it first. Nice hole in the newly installed wood floor. My dad still laughs about it and thinks it’s a funny story. Gotta love that mountain upbringing.
Hole in floor > Hole in Grandma’s thoracic cavity
Obligatory:
Def Leppard – Billy’s Got a Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BDBVszev5E
Green Day – 21 Guns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r00ikilDxW4
Lynyrd Skynyrd : Saturday Night Special
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWBoeY0AAec
Damn you. I was LITERALLY just posting this.
Doh!!!!
I’m surprised you didn’t beat me to it ’cause my computer is acting wonky as hell. I think I might shoot it! That’ll learn this infernal machine!
DOUBLE SHOT!
Gimme Back My Bullets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk83VHblPhE
STOP THAT!!!!!
OK, Last one as I have to do work. . .
Nancy Sinatra– Bang Bang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEQQ1R1e5rQ
A companion piece:
Southern Culture On The Skids- Shotgun
https://youtu.be/nQ8sO3L_qPE
Gun Love by Prodigy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pwp3pJwOK4
Green Day – Peacemaker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agag5iUapCg
The sound on the above clip is shitty.
Listen to this one instead….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKG-G0SDO9w
Had both in my collection – same song two very different versions
Guns Of Brixton
Jimmy Cliff – https://youtu.be/rt10xjeIKlY
The Clash – https://youtu.be/hiQoq-wqZxg
Goddamit, I see Don T already has it covered. Looks for reading glasses….
Don’t worry, our posts are coming fast and furious as there are so many good songs with a gun theme.
Bob Marley– I shot the Sherrif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XiYUYcpsT4
Stone Temple Pilots – Silver Gun Superman
https://youtu.be/bmVZDopspPU
This one is especially for Aqib Talib:
I’m still laughing about “Code Plaxico”.
“Hey man, can I get a request in?”
– Jovan Belcher
“Amateur.”
– R Budd Dwyer
Parliament – Bop Gun
https://youtu.be/SkBHwY5xVCc
Disabling the link (cause some incredibly NSFW language and plus it’s not actually music) but here’s one of the greatest movie opening scenes of all time:
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQLXYu6plhg
I’ll see your opening scene and raise you a closing shootout from The Wild Bunch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJMxGFco57Y
F*ck Tha Police by NWA
https://youtu.be/9jOqOlETcRU
Got myself all worked up now.
This one’s about killing Bin Laden.
Rage ATM – Bullet in the Head
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v5NeyI4-fdI
DOUBLE SHOT’D
Love this song, and one of my favorite song titles:
Dandy Warhols – The Legend of the Last of the Outlaw Truckers AKA The Ballad of Sheriff Shorty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPKtdm7DKKU
Ferocious song.
The samples are from the movie “Falling Down” obviously.
The final 2 lines:
“This has no solution.”
“This has no conclusion.”
Turn this shit up REAL loud.
KISS – Love Gun (may be about a penis)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trR5ROuf1Uk
Beatles – Happiness Is A Warm Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjhb6dVnyvU
Janie’s Got a Gun by Aerosmith
https://youtu.be/RqQn2ADZE1A
The Clash
Tommy Gun
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bFHEuKkTa5k
Guns of Brixton
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wqcizZebcaU
Outstanding work, Stagger Lee!
This one’s for you, Rikki!
DOUBLE SHOT OF SONGS WITH GUNS AS THE MIDDLE INGREDIENT:
Very rich draft class.
Goddamn, I love this song.
Sing it Junior!
Was just about to post this…but isn’t this Steve Winwood?
’tis
Hendrix- Machine Gun
https://youtu.be/slcUOvvDG8o
Dat guitar playing
Jimi sitting on that note at the beginning of the solo is the greatest moment in rock ‘n roll history.
DOUBLE SHOT pew pew
Hendrix – Hey Joe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc
This is my fave Hendrix song. Embedding the longer version for you:
Pearl Jam – Glorified G
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyPMgPa6RbE
ACDC Big Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsXJitaiVo
Triple shot!!!
Seems like an obvious choice:
Double shot!
See what I did there?
Imma work out to these songs today.