NFL Notes: (& Crimebeat! primer)

• former Viking & Seahawk Tavaris Jackson has been charged with aggravated assault & uttering threats, which will no doubt strain the ability of Hawks management to offer him a new contract.
• current Jags linebacker Dan Skuta was arrested & charged with first-degree misdemeanour battery in Orlando. He was expected to battle Myles Jack for the starter’s role.
  • Deadspin says it was because she wouldn’t give him her phone number, so he pie-faced her hard enough to bounce her head off a wall, for a 3 on the Ray Rice scale.
• Florio says the NFL will talk to all those mentioned in the Al Jazeera report, including Peyton Manning.
  • On that line, God bless Deebo. He says he’ll comply, but only under two conditions:
    • the interview takes place in his home; and
    • Roger Goodell is present during the interview.

Finally, in a fit of enthusiasm, someone noticed that a person from Cleveland set up a Facebook event for a Super Bowl victory parade for the Browns. The date: Saturday, February 19, 2033. That’s some forward thinking right there, and is a damn sight smarter than getting a 19-0 tattoo.

This week’s Acela Excreta is confusing, in the fact that there is a wonderful & heartfelt tribute to Dr. Z, Paul Zimmerman, and the rest of the MMQB, which as we know is the swept-up dregs of the Knoxville Grammar Rodeo.

Before I dig into this week’s word-turd, I’d like to remind you of a much better accounting of the great Dr. Z by our own Don-T. It’s in every way better than Peter King’s admittedly pleasant tribute, but without all the self-serving references. Give it a read before or after you scan the nuggets at the MMQB. Anyway – on to the parsing!

But the cruelest kind of robbery occurred on Thanksgiving weekend 2008, when, in a matter of hours, Dr. Z’s ability to do the five things he loved most dearly—read, converse, travel to the corners of the globe, chart football games then analyze them, and be a challenging and obstinate and delightful partner to the Flaming Redhead (his aptly nicknamed wife Linda)—vanished. Three strokes did that.

No arguments here.

Dr. Z Week, which kicks off today, is happening for a couple of reasons. One: I’ve read his memoir, which is probably 80 percent complete and was being worked on at the time of his strokes. And it’s wonderful. Zim was unable to find a publisher for it, and I’m doing this in hopes that someone—a publisher, an agent, a rogue football-lover with some money—would publish the thing so you could learn about his incredible life.

Oh dear Lord – you are not even through the second paragraph, and you take his story and make it about how YOU can help. Doesn’t. Bode. Well.

Two: I want to make sure the young generation of football lovers learns about this man and about his writing, which is evergreen, and can teach and entertain today the same as it did when the strokes sapped him of his communication ability. “That’s the saddest thing about this—that a new generation of people who love football won’t get to read Dr. Z,” his friend Matt Millen said recently.

The first part is absolutely correct, because most sportswriters today are about “hits”. But, perhaps you could have found a better football authority than Matt (0-16) Millen?

Four men influenced by Dr. Z write columns about him: Millen on studying film with Zim (Tuesday), our Andy Benoit on the enduring impact of Zim tome “A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pro Football” (Wednesday), Pro Football Focus founder Neil Hornsby on how Dr. Z changed his life forever (Thursday), and football maven K.C. Joyner of ESPN in praise of Zim the man (Friday).

No. No. Yes. Yes.

“The Best of Dr. Z.” Zim’s SI profiles on Jack Lambert, Howie Long, Archie Manning and Sid Gillman, Tuesday through Friday, one per day.

Finally, a tangible benefit to the synergy between your drivel and archives worth mining.

The one problem I have, and I don’t think it’s really PK’s fault, is that they only use two paragraphs from the profile in the tribute. It’s most likely for space, but it’s still a delightful taste of what the man was able to get down. A line like,

But then a few years ago something sad happened to these great middle linebackers. The 3-4 defense robbed them of their identity.

entreats you to read the whole article, but the geniuses at the MMQB don’t bother to include a helpful link so you can. It took me all of five seconds – it’s here – but it tells me that they felt surface attention to detail would be more than enough. And it’s not.

The next part of the column is about how the Zimmerman’s were robbed by a housekeeper who was hired to help look after Dr. Z. That’s fairly straightforward and, honestly, told in a heartbreaking fashion. So, well done to PK here.

A longer exerpt from the Dr. is included next, talking about the Raiders victory over the [*Redacted] s in the Super Bowl. Again, no link included, but it’s a better taste than the shorter story included first.

Finally, one link he does include is to the GoFundMe page that’s been started to help the Zimmerman’s out. Here’s the link, and – all things told – it was a fairly good tribute by Peter King to a much better writer.

I wanted to give a skate to the rest of the article, out of respect to him writing about his friend, but I couldn’t ignore these nuggets:

My wife and I went to the Gay Pride Parade in New York on Sunday afternoon.

Because the PRIDE O’BOSTON parade doesn’t take place in New York?

There was an elderly woman, maybe 88, quite frail, alone, next to us, leaning on a walker.

‘I ignored her. Who wants to talk to old people?’

She was struggling to catch glimpses, but when small gay pride flags were passed out by bank representatives, she enthusiastically reached for one.

‘I mean – I wasn’t going to give up my spot, so I’m happy she somehow got a small trinket of the event.’

Finally, from the “Ten Things I Think”,

I think the more time passes without any games being played, the more I fall in like with the Oakland Raiders. Thinking very seriously about vastly overrating them this preseason.

CONSIDER THE CURSE PLACED!

Finally, I’mma just going to leave this here. Read it, in all it’s misplaced understanding:

I think, if anything, Ben Affleck deflected from the impact of his Deflategate rant by using 18 f-bombs in his answer to Bill Simmons on the debut of “Any Given Wednesday” the other night. First: I maybe get one or two curses from an intelligent person on something he’s strongly opinionated about. But Affleck always struck me as an intelligent man. Does it help the cause of an intelligent man to use the most offensive curse word in our language 18 times in four minutes trying to make a point? Second: Think of all the media outlets that would have loved to use a soundbite from Affleck (I’m sure some did) but didn’t because of the offensiveness of his diatribe. I don’t get it.

DEAR GOD! Richie, my drinks.

Tonight’s sports:

• Euro: I’m sure ESPN will replay the England – Iceland game sometime. (I’m not finding it on the schedule; I know TSN does it.) Make sure to watch the first half, and (spoiler) be prepared for many “BREXIT From The Euros” hot taeks tomorrow.
• College World Series: Finals Game 1: Arizona vs. Coastal Carolina – 7:00 (ESPN)
• U.S. Olympic Trials: Swimming finals – 8:00 (NBC)
  • finals in the women’s 100m fly and 400m free, and the men’s 100m breast.

Alternative Programming:

• NBC: American Ninja Warrior – 9:00-11:00
• USA: Monday Night Raw – 8:00-11:05
  • Roman Reigns is suspended (in real life, for a “wellness policy” violation). Who will rise up?!
• FXX: The Simpsons – the usual 4-hour bloc. Tonight’s highlights:
  • 9:00 – The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular!
  • 10:30 – Children of a Lesser Clod

Only 28 days until the start of training camps. That’s, like, four weeks. WE CAN DO THIS!