As The Maestro has pointed out in his excellent CFL Beat, this Friday is a Canadian holiday – specifically, Canada Day, a reminder that true independence is an arduous 118-year process. And, I’m given to believe the US is engaging in a weekend of car & mattress sales in advance of July 4th. So if we don’t see you until after Iceland has devastated France, have a nice weekend. I plan on both selling (Friday & Saturday night) and drinking beer (Sunday).
NFL Notes:
- Doug Baldwin signed a 4-year extension worth $46 million. There’s also several stories about his long road to the NFL, included seemingly as puff to validate the Hawks decision. Because they’ve had such terrible luck with undersized receivers before.
- Not to be outdone, HODOR managed to get himself $140 million over 6 years from Jim Irsay. That’s gonna cut into his Vicodin supply a tad.
- Jake Plummer’s got some interesting things to say about “billionaire a-hole” Jerry Jones. I’m sure we can all support that.
- I’d turn into a mary jane activist too if I wasn’t as fondly remembered as noted successes Tim Tebow or Jay Cutler.
- Jim Kelly is two years cancer free. Yay!
- Run DMC’s broken elbow gets clarified. Turns out, much like during the regular season, it was the result of a fumble.
- The Fridge is having a rough time of things. The story is an excellent read, and the kid of stuff SI used to do more often.
- The Seahawks have lost another backup QB to assault charges. One more, and they qualify for a free Tebow rumour.
- Former Colts RB Zurlon Tipton died after accidentally shooting himself when one of the guns in his bag o’ guns went off.
Finally, not an NFL story, but it’s about a first-rate douchebag, so it’s allowed. During A-Rod’s rookie year Ken Griffey Junior hazed him with a story about becoming high-class sperm donors, going so far as to bring in a fake doctor to sell the point. Fortunately for A-Rod, Griffey ended the gag before he was expected to pony up his first deposit. Unfortunately for the famously thin-skinned A-Rod, the story is in this week’s SI.
Random musings on other sports:
- The other big deal this Friday is that the NHL free agency window opens at noon. Much like the NFL date, big deals are expected out of the gate, but there’s relatively little actual big-name talent available once you get past Steve Stamkos.
- Maria Sharapova has enrolled at Harvard business school. Expect “Sharapova schoolgirl” searches on google to go way up.
- Zlatan is expected to sign with ManU by the end of the week.
Tonight’s sports:
- ESPN – College World Series: Finals Game 3: Arizona vs. Coastal Carolina – 8:00
- series tied 1-1; winner-take-all
- NBC – U.S. Olympic Trials: Swimming finals
- women’s 200m IM and 200m free, and the men’s 200m fly.
I was a competitive swimmer in high school, and roomed with a future rowing (Men’s 8s) Olympian, so that’s why it’s been included every night this week.
Sorry it’s rather short today. Once I start teaching summer school, I don’t have as much free time to put things together. Plus, I decided to take a break in the day and go hiking with my 20-month-old Berner named Riga. I’m sure you’ll agree,
WORTH IT!
Me to wife: Sorry, I didn’t do any work projects like I promised today. I’ll haul ass tomorrow.
*crosses fingers*
Mrs Wakezilla: How come?
Me: Those fucks traded Subban?
Mrs. Wakezilla: WTF!? . . . Take all the time you need.
That’s true love.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lcppdruzxd1qzlnx8o1_1280.png
I wish I was sad. I’m full of (wine) piss and vinegar.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lan94yU8Pc1qzlnx8o1_1280.png
If I may rant briefly, as I mentioned, I drove from SF to Sacramento tonight. I have to be up in 6 hours and am not thrilled about it. More importantly, I had to drive because the guy flying up from LA to do these meetings with me was supposed to drive but realized when he got to the rental car place that his driver’s license had expired. And I had flown out here from the east coast yesterday morning, so I’m a little tired and cranky. In conclusion, fuck people.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_laniu0fQJg1qzlnx8o1_1280.png
BEST BOND GIRL EVER: JILL ST JOHN
BEST BOND MOVIE EVER: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
COME FIGHT ME BRO
I WILL CUT INTO PIECES!
Errrr….. Is that a Yes or a No??????
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lat1nfYteQ1qzlnx8o1_1280.png
I’m gonna count that as a Yes vote!
Counter point:
http://im.rediff.com/movies/2015/feb/26monica-bellucci1.jpg
You make a strong case.
Counter- counterpoint:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TrcKqP6k5nk/T-AMiwcqQuI/AAAAAAAAEcc/rAsP-nZd6Uw/s1600/For-Your-Eyes-Only-James-Bond-Melina-Havelock-Roger-Moore-Carole-Bouquet-darling.png
SHITTY BOND, GREAT BOND GIRL.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfuxy60Q5o1qg636ko1_500.gif
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/allw.gif
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http://65.media.tumblr.com/09170a02679016f66a544faeb041960b/tumblr_mq82r1DA7d1qzfsnio7_1280.jpg
Wine tasting for the self-loathing.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lord3bIM3v1qi3xuqo1_500.jpg
Fucking Texas.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/texas-city-council-votes-to-oust-library-cat/ar-AAhBws3?ocid=ansmsnnews11
Who holds the record for being the subject of the most SI stories about down on his luck former athletes? This is at least the second big one on the Fridge. I’m sure there have been at least two on Pete Rose. Who else is in the running? OJ?
Ryan Leaf
Art Schlichter…
Lawrence Taylor…
etc., etc., etc. …..
Art Schlichter
Denny McLain has to be up there somewhere…
Faint praise:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3665916/George-Lucas-films-innovative-imagination-James-Cameron-criticises-J-J-Abrams-Star-Wars-Force-Awakens.html?ITO=1490
http://67.media.tumblr.com/8c3160b6def1004b1e1ec6d0b3f4c157/tumblr_nya07azT5U1u7gt7ro2_400.gif
Parents of the month in Arizona.
http://newsok.com/article/5507140
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cf279b9e9a175db5104f52f2ce3389b3/tumblr_ngl5kt9Qsm1sin489o1_500.gif
Anybody still awake? I just drove from SF to Sacramento and am not quite ready to crash.
Nope.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cd7cf4ef54820a93b182865684864dff/tumblr_nwr34bbTwB1tl41jto1_500.jpg
Maybe, maybe not…
http://66.media.tumblr.com/a1ad50af13a7d631ff5ec19c3cccac18/tumblr_nxkif7a9Ir1sceioso1_500.jpg
I’mma checking in every so often before bedtime.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lom7r4T5Vy1qm91owo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_la872oHLsx1qe2gl0o1_500.jpg
Survey says!
No surgery!
I’ve got substantial deterioration of the meniscus in my right knee, practically none left.
It’s a good news bad news type of thing.
The bad news is, these are the knees I’ve got to deal with from here forward.
The good news is?
I’ve been released into the wild!
No PT.
No more surgeries, as of now.
No follow ups.
He gave me a cortisone shot and said, “I’ll see you if you need me.”
I’m gonna get back to basics and tear this world a brand new asshole.
One limp at a time.
I feel good with this.
Getting old is a motherfucker, kids!
Good! Just don’t tear anything else while tearing a new asshole.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/62780e6cfc998fc6ce6daa3d69ad4156/tumblr_ntfhcsVmhC1ubfgh6o1_500.gif
Sophia Loren.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0452ec6d0892b54bb41910ed8894cdf5/tumblr_o7pgec7qyI1qjleeho1_500.jpg
Wow. Speaking of Bond girls (We were speaking of Bond girls, right?):
http://66.media.tumblr.com/132e7977e324d5562faad42106b7b4cf/tumblr_mlouuzRnr11qc8jh0o5_250.gif
Gee, with all the noise I would’ve though the Timbers won this game.
Oh, shit. I was supposed to go walk just in time to be heading home as the game ended too.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lay8hoAix91qzlnx8o1_1280.png
TFC beats the Whitecaps on a last-second shot, and the scorer dislocated his knee.
CANADIAN SOCCER!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3c89582b68d6a25fe4f5d5aa9711361b/tumblr_nxpgviZWSW1tyncywo1_400.gif
MLS CANADIAN SOCCER, in fact. WOO
In this time of strife, turmoil, tragedy, political unrest and economic uncertainty, I’d like you all to take comfort in this:
The Polaroid SX-70 camera I bought on eBay arrived today! $130 bucks! Perfect condition!
I’m stoked! We’re all stoked!! YEAHHHH!!!!!!
OLD SCHOOL DICK PICS FOR EVERYONE
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0f5ff188e439ffde576909296133ca8a/tumblr_o9k7tb3aXZ1rhp4nco1_1280.jpg
This seems like a…
/puts on sunglasses
…developing story
YEEEEEAH
DAAAAWWW!! WHO’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA? WHO’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA?! RIGA’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA!!!!! GOOD DOGGIE!!!
Lapvia.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/849d9cbb8f130e43a3d1405e2992aca5/tumblr_n8761hVjPP1qzag1wo1_400.jpg
I love seeing the Seahawks spend.
http://i.imgur.com/JxLbXrc.gif
http://backofthejersey.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Carson.gif
He stopped pumping his arm because he tore his ACL. ACL stands for Arm Collateral Ligament, right?
Raul Ramirez: clean record, expressed remorse, convicted of felony penetration, 3 year sentence.
Brock Turner: clean record, didn’t express remorse, convicted of felony penetration, 4 month sentence.
Both sentences handed down by Judge Aaron Persky.
I can’t possibly imagine what could have resulted in these two offenders receiving such differing sentences for committing the same crime.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/27/stanford-sexual-assault-trial-judge-persky
I thought felonies were defined by a 1-year (min) sentence.
No. 1 year and a 1 day or more (Max)
There are just some things that try really hard to make you justify murder…
Judges are idiots. Elected judges especially so.
“Oh, they caught me being lenient on sex criminals (Note: completely oblivious to his pro-Stanford shit and Stanford is fucked up in its own way), so I’ll throw the book at the next guy because the public wants that and they’ll forget!”
*next guy is El Salvadoran*
PUBLIC: RACISM
Not that the reaction is wrong, but the judge is a fucking idiot and he was fucked no matter what.
I’m pretty sure judges are among the last groups of people I’ll ever feel sorry for.
Pretty much.
Damn. Fuck work for being crazy busy when I just wanted to fuck off.
Now off to the orthopedic surgeon for MRI results.
This is seriously cutting into my drinking time!
You should just get a cart like those dogs who have no hind legs. I hear they make them out of legos now.
Good luck! Fingers crossed for ya.
FINE REX! Toes too.
Rex IS color rush.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/99534b0a8d598759150dee14d7aa4817/tumblr_o804v6VXKB1vry5buo1_500.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ds7yMVMj1qf3yleo1_1280.png
The self-congratulations: that is what makes politics so fucking grating. And there had to be female cyclops on that area where Perseus went.
Point is: shit is clearer now.
I dunno. I think that arrow on the fan has the right idea.
I don’t see electrical socket! See you dudes later!!
http://previously.tv/m/kotm-ren-whiz-full.jpg
http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/3640000/ngbbs41891a882b07f.jpg
Perfect.
For my fellow Canadians, the second leg of the Amway Cup is on TSN right now. Whitecaps versus Toronto FC. A cheap sorbet for Poland – Portugal tomorrow.
Starting a new space game via Steam called Interselleria. I think this calls for a little S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/48055db7a4e2ff1de0bd5fc062e623ff/tumblr_o9fvkhdg5A1u4vqlno1_1280.jpg
Tried. Doesn’t work
http://67.media.tumblr.com/8d15e6d8e00d279e2c3a93024490eaa5/tumblr_nvi19kcwie1smy9ueo1_500.gif
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/excited_minions_despicable_me.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cdfae63945b510a49c17dca358a730e7/tumblr_o5fq33iwgG1sqba70o1_1280.jpg
About 5 hours.
If I let my computer go to sleep…it stops uploading. So…do I stay up…or give up?
OH AND FUCKING OF COURSE WINDOWS NOW WANTS TO UPDATE!
Can’t you turn off the screen saver and power saver functions so it doesn’t go to sleep? Then dim the screen.
Yeah….I’m really just bitching for bitching sake.
I think this is because the TV is stuck on Fox News and its wearing off on me. I blame the liberals.
watchseries (dot) li
Folks, I am.back in Canadia after an amazing Monday in France and a fantastic Tuesday reading the papers in London. However in acrazy drinking night with some old buddies my laptop took a bittle of red to the keyboard and has now left this world. I apologize and am so broke that I cannot afford to replace it as of now. I perhaps will put together one tomorrow on my desktop encapsulating those 2 days. My apologies.
Welcome back.
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a116/mikepaul1/welcome-back_zps21kg3peb.gif
Don’t apologize; us fuckers can wait.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2637fbfc5718f62d61004759475f0b3c/tumblr_nvrlu8yG2o1tdhimpo1_500.gif
That’s far more creepy and disturbing than Micthulhu
Congrats on a great trip! I look forward to reading the last post about this awesome adventure!
http://65.media.tumblr.com/27e7b0d18572fb1884cec671a0afeb9a/tumblr_nzsl0l3TD51sdmxkpo1_1280.jpg
Great to see you back. Think the real final is on Saturday?
My son knocked a whole cup of coffee across my laptop during a pillow fight. I know it’s ruined, but do I have any chance of recovering my iTunes library? Maybe on to an external hard drive of some sort?
My hotel remote is like half dead. So to get the damn tv to change channels, you got to hold down the button for like 5 seconds. And of course I have no fucking clue what the channels actually are.
So I am kind of stuck, waiting for these uploads to finish, watching Fox News because i am lazy and the TV automatically turns onto that channel when you turn it on.
Ah the life on the road…
You could do worse in downtown Charlotte than Mert’s, but I assume it’s actually not that good and is just for sucker tourists like me.
There was a 24hr diner though. Queen City Diner, I think. So at least there’s that, but my God. That place is a ghost town after 5.
King BBQ’s claim to fame is deep frying chicken in BBQ sauce, but it is good.
(I feel like I’m giving cook tips to Ferran Adria)
I hit up Bang Bang Burgers which I thought was pretty good. I am hear earlier than everyone. The vendor sales guy wanted me to go out drinking with him. He always does this. I’ve told him like 5 times now that I have a drinking problem and I do not drink with clients, vendors, or anyone involved with my work.
Furthermore, so goddamn much shit is fucked up on their end, they do not want me intoxicated around any of them.
Just tell him to drop off some heroin at your room and get the fuck out of there so you don’t have to deal with him.
Hate salesmen so much. Overall neutral on heroin.
I’ve got to upload to our home office servers about 20GB of video, photos, and reports…through a hotel wifi and a VPN.
It goes from 4 hours….to 2 days….to 6 hours…to 1.5 days…to infinity and beyond…
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/49244/f3acb7492437651.jpg
God damn, I’ve been there. I vividly remember a hotel room in Dallas that you could see Jerry World from, where the upload got to 96% and timed out. It was a .zip file, so nothing made it…
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/7/23/11/anigif_original-grid-image-16133-1374592549-21.gif
http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/angela-bassett-waiting1.jpg
This old farewell to the troops thread where this guy lists his favorite porn stars in excruciating detail is sort of amazing.
“This man’s hard drive needs to be preserved for future generations. Hell send it to one of the seed banks and maybe the space station as well just to be safe.”
Well, it is a seed bank in a manner of speaking.
huzzah! Lesser Footy returns to us tomorry!!!!
My body is killing me. All this work, and I still am paying professionals to do the hard shit of getting house ready to sell. They will pry my corpse out of the townhouse I’m moving too.
/ALL exterior maintenance will no longer be my responsibility in 5+ weeks. This is the only happy thought that keeps my head out the oven.
If you ever have to move, just burn everything you own and start fresh at the new place.
YES. I am glad someone else is down with “when in doubt, start a fire.”
I moved 1,800 miles with what I could pack in a mid-90s two-door Accord.
I practice what I preach.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IBVPgalgRAk/TCo5ufuWhmI/AAAAAAAABk0/Vhmxi3VRpQc/w1200-h630-p-nu/Bugs+and+Thugs+-+Bugs+Bunny.jpg
HOT TAEK
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6xzvyxMMt1qezwljo1_1280.jpg
She makes some excellent points.
Those points have a lot of areo…I mean support.
I like her, I think she’s nice.
SMART, TOO
http://115.imagebam.com/download/Mtp2iJwkxWyZHmCiEE1l7Q/49212/492118752/charmck1.gif
http://116.imagebam.com/download/PAHZ-Lh6iLl-ZrIStJQpKA/49212/492118764/charmck2.gif
This is awesome.
https://gfycat.com/arrogantamb/charlotte_mckinney
DFO Greatest Hits
http://115.imagebam.com/download/F7DFcth85hpg4eCRKP9d-g/48790/487892546/bludso-cripso.jpg
That’s still excellent.
Never thought this little exchange would have such legs. Glad ya’ll liked it.
http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/z4q0jp-l-610×610-leggings-nike-nike+shoes-cobalt+blue-cobalt-blue-indigo-runners-running+pants-pants-running+leggings-tight+pants-hot+pants-hot.jpg
I hope this Trader Joe’s frozen spinach is still good.
You might be able to excuse its copy of “Mein Kampf” for research, but if you see a little red freezerburned book anywhere, throw that spinach away.
ALL MY KOSHER SALT JUST DISAPPEARED
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/49108/1789ec491075564.jpg
If only the other guns in Zurlon’s bag o’ guns had been armed, they could have prevented this tragedy. FUCKING LIBTARDS.
Only a good gun with a gun can stop a bad gun with a gun.
http://i.giftrunk.com/tym33m.gif
http://img1.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-weed-drugs-vacuum-cleaner-397191.gif
Brings back an actual high school memory.
Yeah, I got my junk caught in the vacuum once too.
Okay – two memories.
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8f29paa4L1qedb29o1_500.gif
Watching the episode of MASH where a hot shot new surgeon had a breakdown. Can’t I go one day without being reminded the Bengals will be kicking off soon?
http://i.giftrunk.com/hj6z22.gif
A person under suspension for ethical violations: Obviously, the ideal candidate for HBS (Seriously, though. Their alumni is a murderers row of evil motherfuckers).
“Seems perfectly qualified to me.”
–Roger Goodell
I thought Rog was anti-PEDs
I was referring to the questionable ethics.
/Needs better research team
Oh, of course. I interpreted that as specific to Sharapova.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/99b4dba622043dbc4e8fd61493b4ae2a/tumblr_mhcj2jWAha1rgxdhwo1_400.gif
That takes me back…
In my experience doughnuts never cooked down that easy, especially Dunkin’s.
http://www.phillysportscentral.com/forums/images/smilies/wtf.gif
Andy Reid in the offseason
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ufunk-Drugs-Alice-in-Wonderland-06.gif
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ufunk-Drugs-Alice-in-Wonderland-03.gif
For a hike with the dog you could have just opened the thread with a title alone. We would understand.
True, but I do the post as I go to give me a planned distraction rather than aimless meandering across the internet on my work computer. So, the day went:
– lesson planning
– type post
– lesson planning
– type post
– ROAD TRIP
– Slurpee for the drive home
– add pictures to the post
– lesson planning
No regrets. And my brain feels refreshed.
I see.
Let me map out mine:
http://new1.fjcdn.com/gifs/The+most+intimidating+herd+of+alpacas_c6d3c7_4473597.gif
I’m fucking raging right now. How the fuck is Montreal trading PK Subban for Shea Weber? What a horrendous trade for Montreal. That’s like trading Dez Bryant for Andre Johnson. . . and Andre Johnson is locked in for 7 more years and will go against your cap until he’s fucking 38.
Fuck Marc Bergevin
That is a maddening fact, I grant you. Welcome to Mario Tremblay 2.0
http://new4.fjcdn.com/gifs/Wtf_53f2b7_508994.gif
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwg6cwaMzA1qzjix8.gif
Al Pacino’s really let himself go.
But you just got so much MOAR GRITTY