NFL Friday Afternoon News Dump:
- Andre Johnson signed a two-year deal with the Titans. As CBS jokingly put it, he’s “one shy of the AFC South cycle”.
- I’m going to suppose he catches fewer passes than Dwayne Bowe.
- Jake Long feels he’s too good to sign an injury waiver, so he won’t be joining the Ravens.
- Dolphins defensive player Dion Jordan has been conditionally reinstated by the League following a one-year suspension for multiple violations of drug policy.
- Sorry Chargers fans – Joey Bosa didn’t show up today. According to PFT, it’s a number of “small, fundamental differences”, which sounds like the “Jumbo Shrimp” of football oxymorons. Because when you think “moron”, you think the Spanos family.
- TMZ and PFT had an abortion that reports Aldon Smith has checked into rehab.
- Tom Coughlin has apparently been hired by the League as a “senior advisor” to league operations. Looking at all the things he’ll be expected to advise on, it also comes across as a glorified Wal-Mart greeter type of position.
- I guess Nick Foles hasn’t been bad enough as a human being for the Cowboys to consider him for their roster.
- Texas A&M – not as rapey as Baylor (at least since Johnny Football left), but just as sexist.
Finally, check out Jim McMahon going full truther about links between the NFL and Big Pharma. Something you don’t normally expect from a BYU grad. The player won’t embed for me, so check out the video here.
Well, it’s now down to the 100 days of the campaign. The first debate is scheduled for Monday, Sept. 26, 2016, at Hofstra University. But did you think it wasn’t going to affect your football viewing enjoyment? They’ll be going up against the Falcons @ the Saints. It seems too early in the season for the election to challenge the NFL for viewers, especially a division rivalry game.
Worse for fans, the second debate is Sunday, Oct. 9, 2016, at Washington University in St. Louis. Way to remind fans they lost their team, jerk stores. Pouring salt on the wound is that the game is Seattle @ Arizona, an NFC West contest ex-Ram aficionados might have once cared about. The only winner is likely NBC, which won’t have to show the staged yelling.
The third debate is Wednesday, Oct. 19, 2016 at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I look forward to someone trying to bring up the Raiders relocation possibility.
I’m not going to lie – I really need these three days. The English 10 class I’ve been teaching this summer was a little more than I could handle. Because it had been almost a decade since I taught the course, I’ve been playing catch-up to the material all summer. Luckily, the varying abilities of the students has allowed me to have moments where I could carry lessons over and extend periods to allow for marking submitted work. I’ll be better for it on the other side, but right now it’s draining.
Tonight’s beverage of choice – when I get home from selling beer at Nat Bailey – will be Dead Frog Brewing’s Big Stump Spruce Golden Ale, “a perfectly balanced golden ale brewed to celebrate nature on the West Coast. Fresh picked Simcoe hops provide a tropical pine aroma that’s followed by a crisp malt profile.” I’ve been staring at that sixer in my fridge since last Sunday, and now I can finally have at it. The only challenge will be not shotgunning the first two.
Here’s a link to their site. They have a Commander IPA that certain Commentists might find especially sexy.
Tonight’s sports:
- On Now:
- Tennis: Rogers Cup – end of day action – ESPN2, TSN
- women from Montreal; Men from Toronto
- Tennis: Rogers Cup – end of day action – ESPN2, TSN
- Later tonight:
- Premier Boxing Champions: Stevenson-Williams (light heavyweights) – 9:00 (Spike)
- CFL:
- Saskatchewan @ Montreal – 7:00 (TSN)
- BC @ Calgary – 10:00 (ESPN2, TSN)
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!
Survived an unprompted, far-long-than-expected visit to the in-laws. In addition, new daughter has decided not to wail until down. For now. God speed, DFOers.
I just laid face down after watching Doctor Horrible and I might have sang most of the songs but I am going pretend that didn’t happen. (I sang all of them loud at 3 am)
Rick and Morty, or sleep?
No regrets.
I am singing Felicia Day’s part of Dr Horrible right now. I might be the worst person ever
Counterpoint: You’re not Trump
Hot today
http://lifewithoutandy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/17.jpg
Can’t argue with that.
Dok Zymm’s comment in the previous 100 reminded me that I’m one of the few people privileged to live in Marion County, the nominal home of the marionberry, and live in Washington D.C. under hizzoner Marion Berry (RIP).
I read a shit ton of accurate stuff about me on HRTN today. It did miss on my best friend growing up being a minister and my second best friend being really into musical theater, in an obnoxious way so it makes me want to belt out songs at 2 am. I mean everything else was pretty much accurate but they missed those 2 things
I’m still stupidly happy with MTWV tearfully and reluctantly parting with his bag of weed to Skid Row’s “I’ll Remember You.” It was a fun one to write.
Also the Spring Break special stuff. MTWV doing his “Dirty Harry” bit with the paintball gun made me laugh when I wrote it.
The me crying having to part with the bag of weed was 100% true.
I want my bag of weed bad mother fucker. Also I love you.
Well, I’m drunk, and forgot that I had Battlebots… Until now.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/3266926/battle-bots-o.gif
Hawthorn are just going to joylessly march to yet another title, aren’t they?
Beats watching the Old Firm win another Scottish title, but, yeah.
Hasn’t it been like two teams winning it for the last 50 years?
Yep – Celtic & Rangers.
I am 100% gonna sing both Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillions parts. I have no ice or even a working fridge but I drank all that 80 degree poison
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I tried 13 beers today. I got recommendations on a couple others, one of which I can specify and one that I need to remember the name of, from my compatriots. The tl;dr is that Lost Abbey’s Serpent’s Tooth imperial stout is the consensus choice as the best goddamn stout we’ve ever had and it would make a great beer to drink when you want a beer of substance.
On a personal note, I found a hefeweizen that tastes like Pranqster, which is great because it may mean I have a cheaper option to drink Pranqster (although I still appreciate that this North Coast ale has a high ABV).
I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I plan to write up a summary in the morning to email to the DFO front office.
Please come and visit. Abbey is a 20 minute drive.
Have you had “Avant Garde?”
I’ll be there by dinner time.
I have my volume set to max. I am gonna have to stop myself from singing along with all of Dr Horrible
Why stop yourself?
I almost turned to Hawthorn vs Carlton, instead I will go on gif deeper and watch Dr Horrible instead.
Anyone watching Hawthorn v Carlton? I am to lazy to scroll
I am now.
I’m listening to it. Decent game.
I tipped the HAwks but eventhough I detest Carlton (terrible neighbourhood) I would like them to win.
Carlton is actually very nice full of Italian folk, quite pleasant, HOWEVAH their fans are Cowboyseasque
This quarter is bonkers.
This has been a good day.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-38727-NPH-I-request-the-highest-of-f-pZqj.gif
Good to hear.
I spent part of my day in Dallas, so…
At least it wasn’t Houston.
Marketing the patent?
Coming back from a meeting with engineering about producing it.
NOICE!
Back from the ballpark. GODDAMN that beer was tasty.
Back from the Denver. GODDAMN that weed was tasty.
Touche.
No touche intended!
I can’t do the beer anymore, so…
Someone mentioned Rick and Morty I forget how long ago and probably in another post. You get a video anyways
Get Schwifty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ctK1aoWuqY
http://cdn4.designbyhumans.com/product/design/u820110/pr168892-2-2159972-640×640-b-p-000000.jpg
The Cult ‘Love Removal Machine’
I think it’s one of the best starts to a song, but you’ll need to skip the first 55 seconds of the video to get there,
They wanted to be Led Zeppelin so bad!
If you follow me at all you know I’m an Industrial freak.
Uncle Al.
Ouvertime in the Canadianese Fooutball League! BC – 41 : CGY 41. WOOOOOO!
Dumb Lions!!
This took me 30 minutes to find. It was worth it
Colbert and John Legend – The Girl is Mine
https://vimeo.com/13239825
This would fit Request Line too.
I’ll be right back!
More Night Sweats “Trying So Hard Not To Know”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYUALIXYtOA
This is a great song. Video not so much.
Goddamn! That’s really good.
Oh shit! I’ve got it!
Chicken Pot Pie!
http://recipegreat.com/images/homemade-chicken-pot-pie-01.jpg
Well there’s a spoiler for a couple of weeks from now.
http://i.imgbox.com/PAqY6rLa.png
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kVlr_8Cyqc
Big Wreck – Ladylike
http://i.imgbox.com/JbxwHErp.png
Why can’t I find a Kaitlin Olson video of her dancing with the used car lot inflatable dummy? Where is WCS when you need him?
That guy has some nice moves
The Police – Synchronicity II
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ8jsqJHVLk
Driven to Tears
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwuf6qFYKp8
Listened to it on the plane.
My favorite Police song by miles.
If You Were Here
https://youtu.be/AF-AUISRZmU
Nate & The Night Sweats ‘Howling At Nothing”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzqmVa6n-es
Can you tell I just stumbled on this band? Still, tell me you don’t want to drink beer and dance with strange women while these guys rip it up.
Damn that was good. Thank you very much sir. Quite a gem.
http://www.motionbydesign.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Screen-shot-2011-07-01-at-4.04.22-PM.png
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iAYhQsQhSY
More of the Night Sweats, with “SOB” a song all of DFO will be humming as they’re sent to rehab.
Passenger – And I Love Her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq2wZyi4vBE
Dammit. Now I’m depressed.
If anyone is gonna challenge Turk it is Colbert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXCOW0VIjHw
Bowie – Let’s Dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4d7Wp9kKjA
Heroes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgcc5V9Hu3g
True story time!
This was the wedding song when I married the Former Mrs. right.
Thanks for the tears man!
Hey, it’s my pleasure.
Always happy to depress others instead of myself.
Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, (fantastic name) “I Need Never Get Old”
The video’s pretty funny too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2hxU4UG3dA
hella lame
Genesis – I Can’t Dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOyF4hR5GoE
To which I retort:
Sulu Dance
https://youtu.be/lFzRNWf7Gi0
Sorry. it has to be Turk dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81NpdkTcMAE
You Can Call Me Al
https://youtu.be/uq-gYOrU8bA
Wristband
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3crKHaBdy4
Great, now I’m planning a trip to New Orleans and thinking about baking a pie.
You bastards!
About 7 years ago I got dragged to this shitty little diner that would be impossible to find unless you were actually looking for it. The place was filthy and the meal was rather sketchy but they had the BEST GODDAMN PEACH PIE I have ever experienced in my life. One of these days I’m gonna go back there and eat an entire pie right out of the tin. Although finding the place again might be a challenge.
http://www.chowstatic.com/blog-media/2015/07/Lattice-Top-Peach-Pie.jpg
Oh my precious Lord and Little Baby Jesus!
Phil Collins – Against All Odds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVjEcIANv1o
Genesis – Misunderstanding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrNTsKg4z64
Everytime I hear Phil Collins this is all I can picture. He’s still the man though.
I really did just smash my face into the wall when I went out for a cig. I think I might have given myself a black eye that I have no explanation for.
Blame the dog.
Oh no wait. That’s for farts.
Blame a woman.
Blaming the dog is for Denver QBs.
Janay Rice wishes to apologize for her role in MTWV’s black eye.
http://www.jaredmobarak.com/wp-content/filmstills/keithschofield07.jpg
They just don’t make them like this anymore
https://youtu.be/U0UnlkKORdI?t=50s
Blueberry pie.
http://www.thecherryshare.com/pictures/235024941slice-blueberry-pie.jpg
My Ma’s mother MeMe used to make devastatingly good blueberry pie.
A little a la mode if I may.
I just slammed my face into a wall for no reason herodtus. Your middle finger gif was truly felt as that happened.
RIC FLAIR
https://youtu.be/GAN_O9xRkf4