Your “C’mon, Get Here Already!” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL Missing Person Updates:

  • HURT:
    • Bills rookie linebacker Reggie Ragland – ACL – out for the season
    • Giants WR Victor Cruz – strained calf; won’t play first preseason game
  • CUT:
  • BACK:
    • Seahawks TE Jimmy Graham – first day of practice off the PUP list
    • Patriots tiny person Julian Edelman – tweaked foot feels fine
  • CONTRACT DISPUTE:
    • Chiefs safety Eric Berry – refuses to accept franchise tag of $10.8 million
    • Chargers rookie Joey Bosa
      • Chargers GM Tom Telesco feels Bosa needs to compromise
      • Antonio Gates says Bosa should “be a man” and find a way to get to camp
      • Bosa’s father, John, also was a holdout as an NFL rookie. John Bosa was a defensive lineman drafted No. 16 by the Dolphins in 1987 and held out 41 days before signing his rookie contract, according to ESPN.
  • RELEASED:
    • Tony Siragusa – from FOX NFL broadcasts
      • replaced by Chris Spielman
  • LOOKING FOR WORK:
    • Former Baylor coach Art Briles – visited the Cowboys
      • Jerry Jones vouched for his character, saying “I’d want my grandson, if he had the chance, to play for him.”
        • the question is, would he let his granddaughter attend?

Finally, ESPN stalwart John Saunders passed away at age 61. When I go, I want someone of Hannah Storm’s calibre to make my announcement.

https://youtu.be/PAyMzWfWc54

There’s a much longer tribute involving Stephen A. Smith. You can find that here, and I’m sure tWWL will have others throughout the day. Sad.

———————————————————————————————————————————

Deadspin watched Hard Knocks, and found the moment when Jeff Fisher cut Nick Foles by telephone.

That’s about right. Welcome to Hollywood, Jeff Fisher. He’s probably getting that call himself in about 2 years.

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Some motorhead asked the question, does Brown’s rookie Corey Coleman have the ability to become Steve Smith. I guess so. But until you can do this, you are no Steve Smith.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

The first lawsuit from the cancelled Hall of Fame game is expected Friday. It’s apparently going to be filed by the same lawyer that started a class-action suit over the seats fiasco from Super Bowl XLV. He’s going to be looking for tort claims, because that then could take into account punitive damages.

The story notes that the case about the missing Super Bowl seats is still ongoing, and over $20 million has already been spent by the League in that case.

———————————————————————————————————————————

It finally happens tomorrow night. Real, actual, non-cancelled preseason football.

  • Tampa Bay at Philadelphia – 7:00 pm
  • Washington at Atlanta – 7:00 pm
  • Carolina at Baltimore – 7:30 pm
  • New Orleans at New England – 7:30 pm – on NFL Network
  • Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets – 7:30 pm
  • Denver at Chicago – 8:00 pm

Make sure to talk about your game in the comments while we all bitch about the Jimmy Garoppolo era being the first thing on the NFL Network. WHY NOT SANCHEZ V CUTLER?!

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Tonight’s sports:

  • non-Olympic:
    • MLB: Yankees @ Red Sox – 7:00 (ESPN)
    • U.S. Open Cup Soccer: Los Angeles vs. FC Dallas – 10:00 (ESPN2)
  • Olympic:
    • Men’s basketball: U.S. vs. Australia – 6:00 (NBCSN)
    • NBC primetime – 8:00
      • more Phelps & Ledecky action
      • Women’s beach volleyball
    • Men’s soccer: Denmark vs. Brazil – 9:00 (NBCSN)
      • if you want to see a country burn, root for Denmark

All Canada’s medals so far have been won by women. I can’t wait to read MRA twitter if it stays that way. WHY SO BUTTHURT?

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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So, did someone trip the bobby traps around Martin’s porn reserves? What’s with the new aesthetics?

Duchess

moar mobile friendly digs

Unsurprised

So much more friendly. It’s great.

WCS

Who wants trash cake?
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m saving room for duck ramen and beer in about an hour.

Eh, fuck it, I’m in.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

NO WAY THEY CAN SEE ME MEOW

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Welp, there’s goes Stevie Johnson out for the year…

I hope he blames God.

Duchess

He will still lead the Chargers in Touchdown Receptions this year.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If you said Rushing Touchdowns, I’d believe you.

...

In case you missed it, Gawker is embracing the blogging equivalent of auto-erotic asphyxiation with its new sub-blog called The Cuck.

litre_cola

Pretty close to Cuckold no?

...

I mean, if Gawker were a person and had a wife, Peter Thiel would be sweatily banging the shit out of her right in front of them so…

…I think I had a point.

Duchess

More like he would like to bang the husband

Unsurprised

Yes, that’s that “joke”

Sharkbait

Its too bad Deadspin is going down with that sinking ship.

herodotus450
Sill Bimmons

I get a definite “Couples Teach The Babysitter” vibe from the Swiss beach volleyball team:

comment image

litre_cola

I don’t speak Mandarin, but there seems to be a lot of shit talking with these women after every point.

Duchess

more Phelps & Ledecky action

I imagine this is what neanderthal porn would look like. Their kids would not only be great swimmers but be able to skin a sabertooth tiger in world record time.

Sill Bimmons

Just because it’s only a mental image doesn’t make it any less painful.

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Sharkbait

Come on Denmark. I want a repeat of the last time Brazil was on the international football stage:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/07/08/1404852065870_Image_galleryImage_Brazilian_fans_crying_aft.JPG

WCS

http://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/

Behold, the power Fuhrer Trump will soon yield.

Unsurprised

I never thought I’d care for ping pong before.

herodotus450

There are ping pong gifs? Who knew?
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WCS

That cat has never been so simultaneously entertained and frustrated.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We call that Baltimore cunnilingus

scotchnaut

[Stephen Harper’s mistress rears her ugly head]

Sharkbait

So, we’re all rooting for Brazil to burn tonight right?

WCS

You mean, more so than usual?

JustStopDude

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Sharkbait

Boo imgur

litre_cola

Yesssss found table tennis on tsn. Very excited. Love this game, they are like ninjas.

herodotus450

Wait until you watch this documentary about table tennis, it’s totally fake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfdQY0A3n0o

Unsurprised

Yo

scotchnaut

Yo, ma.

JustStopDude

We all know that Lacrosse bros are all douchebags.

I can’t help but think Water Polo bros are even bigger douchebags. They just look so…douchey…

JustStopDude

Nico Hernandez is is into the gold medal fight for the flyweight in boxing. 20 years old.

I want to say this will be the first US medal in boxing…since 88 I think…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

I can’t stop watching this.

herodotus450

I think I like her more that the stop/no girl

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m only slightly ashamed to admit I laughed at that.

herodotus450

The price?

litre_cola

I am really interested in the bonus scene.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A divorce?

Unsurprised

God damn it

WCS

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“Ehh… spray the boy.”

herodotus450

The scarf makes the guy look more like Tom Brady.

herodotus450

No, wait, LESS like him. Like the saying goes, “Heat makes (air) expand.”

JustStopDude

The sex doll scream face makes me think of Aaron Hernandez…

scotchnaut

For a team full of guys by the name of Bruce, The Austrailer! Austrailer! Austrailer! basketball team didn’t do THAT bad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, starting early tonight. Music soothes the savage breast. I am totes feeling savage tonight and in need of soothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBMafTXFBxY

Spur

Good Fight Boomers
http://i.imgur.com/HJfk58T.gif

scotchnaut

DAGGER!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

Coach Rat-face is gonna make Klay swim laps in the river.

Sill Bimmons

Seriously, fuck Pulp Fiction and fuck Tarantino.

Two of the film’s most iconic moments are outright bullshit:

1. Ezekiel 25:17 does not go on for five minutes about righteousness and brothers and anger. This is it:

“And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.”

That’s it. He must have stolen the rest from Akira Kurosawa like he does everything else in his films.

Fuck You} Marijuana is not legal in Amsterdam. Never has been. What happens in Amsterdam is that the law is not enforced because it is thought that keeping “soft” drugs and “soft” drug users off the street the chance of harm from “hard” drugs is reduced:

“Cannabis remains a controlled substance in the Netherlands and both possession and production for personal use are still misdemeanors, punishable by fines. Coffee shops are also technically illegal but are flourishing nonetheless. However, a policy of non-enforcement has led to a situation where reliance upon non-enforcement has become common, and because of this the courts have ruled against the government when individual cases were prosecuted.

This is because the Dutch Ministry of Justice applies a gedoogbeleid (tolerance policy) with regard to the category of soft drugs: an official set of guidelines telling public prosecutors under which circumstances offenders should not be prosecuted.”

It is not legal to buy it, it is not legal to own it, and if you are the proprietor of a hash bar it is not legal to sell it.

Quentin Tarantino is a total fucking fraud.

JustStopDude

But at least the Royale with Cheese bit is accurate!

Spur

lack of timeouts makes this game even better to watch

Spur

Anthony is literally saving the US this game

litre_cola

No Chris Mullin, John Stockton, seems the American team needs a gritty guard, Tebow perhaps? Great in the room.

Spur

Team USA needs more commercial breaks…..

Spur

Can NBA hire these refs?

Sill Bimmons

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Images coming in a full size?

litre_cola

So the US should still win this by 15.

Spur

Patty Thrills will keep it close.

Spur

I hope the benches clear and we have a reenactment of The Malice at the Palace brawl. It would end with Rio burning to the ground.

Spur

They’re playing Sesame Street theme?!

scotchnaut

I heard that as well.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chris Spielman over Tony Siragusa is nearly as big of an upgrade as Alison Brie over Martha Stewart

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Alligators and hippos don’t normally get along. THANKS, WALT!

scotchnaut

Aussie is leading the U.S. by 7.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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