/Inside DFO Headquarters Monday Morning
Me: Guys, I’m at a loss here. The Bears and Eagles played just last night and now they’re playing again tonight! How do I spin this? How comes no one is talking about this?
Hippo: [shakes his goddamn head] What are you talking about?
Me: The game. Tonight. It’s the exact same tilt as last night.
OSZ: You screwed up.
Me:[rolls eyes] Thanks for the input, Oldie-but I’ve been doing this for over a year now. I think I’ve got a handle on it. Seriously, any ideas? The NFL has sunk to a new low.
Horatio: Scotch, the Bears and Eagles didn’t play last night. Are you okay?
Me: What is with you guys? Just check last night’s preview post. It’s right there! They played!
Low Commander: Did you watch the game?
Me: Of course not! I’m wayyyyy too hammered by that time. Just like all you guys. Am I right? [raises hand looking for a high five] Nobody? What is wrong with you guys?
Everybody– YOU FUCKED UP!
Me: Ohhhh, I get it-this is some sort of, “Let’s pick on the Canadian guy” thing. They never give us a break, right Beer Guy?
BeerGuyRob: [looks the other way, whistles]
Me: Fine. Whatever. Not funny, guys. Not. Funny. I bet Magary never had to put up with this sort of lack of respect. I’m out of here. I’ll be back when I’m not taken for granted! [slams door of conference room/broom closet]
DTZM: Guh. Let’s take a vote-everyone that wants Scotchnaut barred, raise your hand.
Dok Zymm: Can I vote with both hands? It’s twice as many as one!
FIN
Enjoy the game [spits on ground] “Friends”.
Come on pick six
THE BRIAN HOYER
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3529189/madden-ambulance-o.gif
These Bears are exactly who I thought they were.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/efd2d59db8543ff7817e5e14c93fecf0/tumblr_nsvvgxjpCc1tqyfuro1_r1_1280.jpg
Ok, now I am just sad. We have no backups, fresh Cutler pic as I type this and we lost 6 players on D and are down by 9 now. No more pics for you. This is obviously a lie
http://67.media.tumblr.com/1f0cc839fbea945829e12b6e1ce1409e/tumblr_ms0c3wkg1t1r3f768o1_1280.jpg
She seems nice.
Ok, now I am just sad. We have no backups, fresh Cutler pic as I type this and we lost 6 players on D and are down by 9 now. No more pics for you. This is obviously a lie
http://67.media.tumblr.com/1f0cc839fbea945829e12b6e1ce1409e/tumblr_ms0c3wkg1t1r3f768o1_1280.jpg
I see the rumors of Peak Catler are a myth.
http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/measles-outbreak/chicago-measles-outbreak-8-now-infected-n303226
Hawkey game is WAY better than the fitbaw game.
Trey Burton had 3 catches in his career before tonight.
Cutler has fumbled and been intercepted. He just needs a safety for the hat trick!
Throwing off his back foot, as per usual.
Wow Jay
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/072012/1343148079_polar_bear_ice_breaking_fail.gif
Cuttler gonna Cuttle
Oh lordy
Jesus…. that was a dumb throw.
WHY? WHY COULDNT YOU TAKE THAT IN??
/sighs
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/778060072681345024
Evening all. I see we have a football game. As in, one is going on.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2b0399c026f2aa319e29c697c118f89a/tumblr_myfq7zUguF1rx4ivwo1_500.gif
That’s one way to say it I suppose.
In honor of BOLTMAN!, a band from Philip Rivers’ hometown:
Fuckin Bears!
http://www.sharegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/mad-men-gifmad-men-quotesbetty-draper.gif
I soooooo relate to Drunk Betty asshole parenting moments.
/am the single parent who does all the work and gets shat on FOAR it, too
Hey, sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a member of the Barth family to kidnap
they all went to U*NC, so none would be able to read the ransom note
Nice.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2956151/bear-vs-trampoline-o.gif
That implies the Bears ever had a high point.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/04/15/article-2604820-1D1E753700000578-89_634x572.jpg
Bears apparently think every play ends after first contact.
Holy shit boys, I returned from a long absence for a hell of a game here now, didn’t I?
Which game are you watching?
Hopefully this one can just continue to be slightly better than the Lions/Titans game yesterday.
Hey, I’m already wrong about that too!
Yay the right matthews scored!
So the Bears’ starting safeties and Nickel are out, and they’re already starting a backup CB.
Welp, Bears are fucked.
Sideline reporter doing a great job keeping up with the injury report.
Remember when the Bears looked like they wanted to win for the last 80% of the first half?
http://static.celebuzz.com/uploads/2015/05/Mad-Men-Peggy-So-High.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7f13e7884adbba295289ce3f0edb8cad/tumblr_oat0zzqtId1v4p31xo3_250.gif
Bears injuries?
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/721/985/1ec.gif
This game makes me want to drink.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/0d601d1d2dc5903cf966f7acc960fe18/tumblr_ob6wq8BIGi1qh7loto1_1280.jpg
http://static.celebuzz.com/uploads/2015/05/Mad-Men-Sally-Tampons.gif
I heard just a tad of this on a bumper earlier and was reminded what a fucking awesome song it is (skip to 0:30):
That sideline reporter who gave the injury status of Bears players? Sounded like he has Down’s or is deaf.
Glad I wasnt the only one to think that
Has the Bears offense done anything other than fumble this quarter? I don’t remember seeing them on the field at all. Of course, I’m pretty sure that Cutler and Alshon are the only two players they have actual plays for. All the other guys just go out on the field so it won’t be obvious to the opposition that they only have 5 plays.
Eddie Royal is the only one that has shown up tonight actually. And yes, I am just as surprised as you he is not injured again yet or on IR or something
The best sideline reporter in the biz!
In all seriousness, is that last sideline reporter….special?
I was told I owed a penance for something before, I forget. I was told more pics
http://67.media.tumblr.com/5b21a3bbd34b37167b07b648bc45245d/tumblr_n2cr2bS1u61rvphoyo1_1280.jpg
Say it Gurren.. say it… they’re holding Cox
Just being safe in the knowledge that I can spend seven hours without seeing a fucktarded Apple ad like that one is worth the $10/month for RZ.
In response to Callahan and Amos:
http://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/5t4GTnf53hARCWJKKUNdGb-650-80.gif
Cruiserweight 4-way on WWE and we’re in mid-90’s WCW territory now.
I am not kidding, this game is so boring I literally forgot about it. At halftime I came up to the office to do some work and only just now remembered that it was on.
I turned it off an put on the new Kristin Bell.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7tjVCqinIs/UwNdoJqAqQI/AAAAAAAAYC4/6r0jboAltyM/s1600/christen+bell+frozen+3d+movie+3.jpg
No real reason.
OH MY GOD GIANT KRISTIN BELL IS HERE TO KILL US ALL!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
OAR AT LEAST SMOTHER US WITH HER SENSE OF SELF SATISFACTION
http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/2000_1000/5785436f1b00002700f6d83f.png
When I look down at the extra skin on my belly it reminds me that one time I ate 14 bacon doublecheeseburgers and drank a case of Schlitz. *
I too am a superhero.
The url on that photo is rather interesting
I’m not completely convinced that isn’t actually Kristin Bell. But what the hell.
Just put in Howard full time. The rest of the backs are worse. I was gonna say this even before he looked good on a couple of plays
He’s so good, he could run from Roosevelt TO Howard faster than the Red Line!
drafted him in 4 different leagues, he’s from my alma mater, I want him to do so well
On the Bears blog I try to avoid, a bunch of guys say that Howard will be the starter by mid-season. He does seem to run with a lot more oomph than Langford.
He was pretty Kick ass at Indiana, I know that sounds weird, but he looked good against Michigan and OSU, guy can ball
Charlie Whitehurst signed with Cleveland?
THIS GUY CHARLIE WHITEHURST I CALL HIM YAPHET KOTTO, ‘CAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN A BLACK GUY DIE LIKE THAT IN A FACTORY SINCE ‘BLUE COLLAR’
Cleveland is stoned, it’s late, there is only one old wrinkled hotdog QB in the hotdog QB machine.
I hear that Clipboard Stigmata is a real bitch.
I wish the Bears had a quarterback named Besk. Do you think John Beck is doing anything?
Do you think he’d be willing to change his name to John Besk and be a backup for the Bears?
Do you think that would be a good sponsorship opportunity?
Do you think Bears fans would approve of any person made up or real to replace Cutler?
Did any of you non-Skins fans even remember that John Beck not Besk was a thing?
Jeez, that poor #98. He thought for a second he was gonna catch White, and then a second later White is 5 yards past him.