Your “Roger’s Got 25 Lighters” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

(banner pic via)

NFL Nuggets:

  • I hope you’ve got Matt Asiata in your pool, because AP is getting surgery for his torn meniscus and is expected to be gone at least 3 months.
    • In worsening Vikings news, Matt Kalil has been placed on IR and is now out the minimum 8 weeks.
  • Donte Moncrief has a fractured scapula and will miss 4-6 weeks.
  • More sadness in The Factory – WR Corey Coleman broke a hand at practice.
  • Ronnie Lott is among a group of investors trying to buy the Oakland Coliseum and work towards keeping the Raiders in Oakland. The offer was for $167.3 million.
    • The lead investor is Integral Group, an investment firm from Atlanta, which recently bought Chase Field (built for $350 million {adjusted}) in Phoenix from Maricopa County for $60 million.
  • Rubbing in more Crimebeat! news,

An arrest warrant has been authorized for suspended Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon after Gordon failed to answer several subpoenas in a child paternity case.

Finally, in case you missed it, here’s Marshawn Lynch on Conan:

Not bad. I miss his press conferences. I can hear the “It’s just a song, boss,” right now in my mind.


Make some room on the VISA – the NFL is selling Super Bowl ticket packages on the open market:

  • Until now, tickets for the Super Bowl have only been distributed through the NFL and its 32 teams. For Super Bowl 50, the participating teams received 35 percent of the tickets, the host San Francisco 49ers got another 5 percent and the remaining 29 franchises were allocated 1.2 percent each. The league claimed the final 25 percent.”
  • “The tickets are being sold on a website run by Ticketmaster and On Location Experiences, the NFL’s official hospitality partner, of which the league’s investment arm owns a stake.”
    • The company gets 9500 tickets to sell as part of this exclusive arrangement.
    • Perks include pre- and post-game parties, and on-field access (I assume after the game)
  • This is all due to what happened in Phoenix at Super Bowl XLIX, when people didn’t get the tickets they ordered because ticket brokers sold tickets they didn’t yet have, because fewer people resold their seats.
  • The “Rog Dodge” is that the NFL program has a sizeable markup, but does come with a guaranteed, specific ticket.

Sounds like Commissioner Goodell needs to make moves to make a quick 25 mill, so he can knock off big nine-nine Seville.


Slight mea culpa – I guess Doug Flutie was on the Spring 2016 season of “Dancing With The Stars”. He didn’t win. He’s still better than Tebow.

Also, I didn’t mention it yesterday, because I figured it would come up in the comments, but Doug Flutie’s daughter was a Miss Massachussetts.

Apparently, her resume shows she’s been a Charger Girl and a Patriots cheerleader. A few minutes of online stalking also finds she might be married now. Good for her.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB Baseball:
    • Red Sox at Orioles – 7:00 PM | ESPN/TSN
    • Giants at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN/TSN
  • Women’s Volleyball:
    • Oklahoma at Kansas – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • South Carolina at Missouri – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • World Cup of Hockey 2016: Team Europe vs. Canada – 8:00PM | ESPN2/Sportsnet

The Giants – Dodgers game should be good. Monday night there was some shoving between the teams about something concerning Yasiel Puig and Madison Bumgarner, wherein Bumgarner screeched, “Don’t look at me!” at Puig. In response, the Dodgers last night got some t-shirts made:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKmBen-BdI1/

 

THERE GON’ BE SOME BEANBALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ALXMAC

“Somewhere in a house across the sea
Maybe in a distant memory
Now and then you reappear
Out of nowhere
Like some ricochet
Now you wait against the current in
Our old bay”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Drqu_iw4ubk

Unsurprised

Today was a lazy dog-dangling day. Now I’m at happy hour with a burger and potato wedges and the only place I can get this awesome lemon blonde ale (they don’t even have any at the brewery).

Gratliff

Probably how we should have handled the whole UFC thing.

Unsurprised

How has Twitter become even more insanely racist than it was when I used it?

Senor Weaselo

Because they made it so sending things didn’t count towards the character limit, so it means you can fit more racism in!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I managed to quit my twitter habit. I use my dad to gauge how racist white people are now. He plays soccer and his teammates are his only friends so he has zero white friends. The gauge is broken at the far extreme of blaming everyone else though.

Unsurprised

Stupid phone ate my reply. It’s how I follow Ape. I guess I dont have to, though.

Unsurprised

Best line. Sadly, the image was made for ants.

comment image

Unsurprised

Ah. Stupid Pinterest and their dumb URLs. This is … bigger

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Jesus for the Phillips CD-I?

Unsurprised

Someone animated the Mormon origin story?

JustStopDude

Fox News is showing three guys masturbating while discussing how righteous it is for cops to kill minorities.

I think the safe word is “Ben Carson”…

Unsurprised

Gotta maintain that safe space for old white men

Unsurprised

Hipsters don’t do pumpkin spice shit. Basic bitches do

Senor Weaselo

I feel a lot better today. The fear of the unknown is always the worst, the worry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrdbyCNJVKg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

We could use more of this.

ALXMAC
Unsurprised

Bollywood action movies are delightfully batshit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

On December 12, 1965 Chicago Bears rookie Gale Sayers scored six touchdowns against the 49er’s at Wrigley Field tying the NFL record for most TDs in a single game.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/261d0461d6b3cbefaa6b1891106007ce/tumblr_mewgbvJtxq1rx4ivwo1_1280.jpg

King Hippo

reading one of the polling summaries for HillyBob (up 7 on the fascist nationally, huzzah!!), and Canadia scored a sweet 75/3 favourable/unfav rating.

Unsurprised

Great eyes. I love that Gotham cast a teenager who looks like she could be Michelle when she was 15

Senor Weaselo

Who feels unfavorable about Canada?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It’s “unfavourable” up there. And rampant vowel overusage is just one reason to view them unfavourably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Eh?

LemonJello

Canada would like to apologize for any unfavourable feelings it may have caused.

Janay Rice will be along shortly to apologize for her part in this as well.

Unsurprised

First Nations people

Unsurprised

Flutie’s daughter looks like Arya Stark.

Maybe AP will empathize with his boy now that they share the experience of having a body part torn open.

ALXMAC

*AD

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh and Norm Macdonald Live is back for a third season.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oChDQTTfIL0&w=560&h=315%5D

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

“official hospitality partner” sounds a lot like this thing here in Wichita (maybe):

http://www.kake.com/story/33129177/wichita-business-owner-pleads-guilty-in-sex-trafficking-case

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So in light of the whole police debacle, there’s a website I read about police misconduct. Within the past week, there were two incidents in New Jersey (fraud/conspiracy and off-duty sexual assault) that took place in two of the biggest cities in the state. When I read the accompanying articles I noticed in both cases the officers lived in suburbs about 20 miles away from each city; in one case, an exceptionally rich suburb where Jets/Giants/Devils players are known to live.

I think at the heart of this issue is that there is a severe disconnect between the police and inner-city people, because what skin do officers like these two have in helping these communities? No one does a beat anymore nor attempts to know the community and the people at large. Which is funny, considering people in low-income urban areas are those most likely to want more policing compared to others. You can save this relationship, but nothing will happen if the police aren’t invested in the community and simply treat the job as a cynical “20 years and out” ploy.

Also, as someone who has worked with severely autistic children and has had it never even cross my mind to hit one, the whole Charles Kinsey thing chapped my ass when the North Miami union essentially said, “Look protestors, we weren’t aiming for the black guy, just the developmentally disabled Hispanic holding a toy truck sitting next to him!”

This is why people don’t want to call the cops and will only get them involved as a last resort.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was born in Mexico. Even at a young age, I was taught to avoid cops at all costs.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That’s another wrinkle; seeing how policing — if you can call it that — goes down in some Latin American countries, I don’t blame people for coming to the US and being leery of them simply out of habit. I notice a similar attitude among Eastern European emigres, for similar reasons.

Don T

Yes. You can call “that” going on in Latin America as “policing”. Even during US-sponsored dictatorships.

JustStopDude

Growing up in Baltimore, you learn very quickly that the cops don’t live in your community. Its more like an occupying authority than anything else. When they show up, someone is dead already or they are pissed because the corner boys are late on payments.

When I got into the military, I had a HUGE stumbling block. Not the spina bifida. Nope…it was because I had an arrest record. I got arrested once for loitering in a known drug area, failure to provide ID, and assault on a police officer.

I was 13 years old, waiting with my younger brother, for my mom to get off work, to let us in the house after school.

We ended up in an adult holding cell for hours until my parents figured out on their own where we were. Eventually my original charges got dropped except then they hit me for resisting arrest. I now realize I was lucky because the cops didn’t just kill me for loitering in front of my parents’ home.

Unsurprised

Yeah, this came up back during Ferguson since all of the city’s officers live in more affluent, whiter satellite cities in the STL suburbs.

Unsurprised

This is what has historically led to the creation of ethnic organized crime syndicates, but for various reasons among us and blacks it just means gangs and cartels. There’s not even a pretense for a golden age of The Godfather-like syndicates ruled nationally by men who’d otherwise be executives and who were honorable or professional or that shit that was never really true.

herodotus450

It’s easy to grin
when your ship’s come in
and you’ve got the stock market beat

herodotus450

But the man worthwhile
is the man who can smile
when his shorts are too tight in the seat!

ballsofsteelandfury

Okay, pookie, go ahead!

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Laptop battery is about to die and we’re allegedly beginning our assent, so now we should touch down right around when my connecting flight is starting to board. Huge improvement, it means I’ll likely get to the gate as the plane is pulling away rather than missing it by 15 minutes.

herodotus450
JustStopDude

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Keep going, you’re good…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoxF29RI2Bs

/Gratuitous Spongebob reference? Sure

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jesus, the Gary Oldman rabbit hole to the center of the earth. I blame hippies… or maybe hipsters.

http://www.ilikewantneed.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ff411_1gif.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[BrettFavresColonoscopy at airport ticketing counter]

http://oi34.tinypic.com/2hdpeys.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

All strippers named Jade have to be Asian, right? That’s like a rule, right?

King Hippo

it at least rises to the level of social more

ballsofsteelandfury

Just like Ebony and Onyx have to be black.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are all Dakotas Sioux?

ballsofsteelandfury

At least 1/32nd

Shogun Marcus

I believe it’s part of the TPP. Or is that DP?

...

In honor of watching Jumbo Diaz pitch last night, I present a history of baseballing Jumbos:

http://67.media.tumblr.com/b632cc5026c2662535e402e6d229de4f/tumblr_n7nr7wWQja1qbc6b5o1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Closest to Jumbo Schoeneck….. figures.

Senor Weaselo

I’m shorter than all the Jumbos.

Doktor Zymm

Wait, there is a baseball player named Madison, nicknamed, it seems, MadBum? And this is a guy? Not some chick stripping her way through art school?

herodotus450

Madison Bumgarner is like John Smith compared to Jurickson Bartholomeus Profar.

...

I’ve always been partial to Rougned Roberto Odor.

laserguru

There is no questioning Bumgarner’s ability. The talent is there.
He is also one of the whiniest little cock grabbers the world has ever known and I hope he get’s knocked the fuck out Odor style for his pissy bullshit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m more partial to Rougned Jose Odor.

Not really, but that is actually his brother’s name.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re thinking of Hitler

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

Madison, 2 songs til the main stage, repeat Madison!!

/and yeah, he’s a Western North Cakalaky boy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

AP is out for the year, right? This maybe he’ll be back in under 3 months thing is complete bullshit intended to get me to keep him around on my fantasy team, isn’t it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I figure whatever I do with the shitstain, I’m fucked. I just cut Charles Clay (leaving me with only the great Jack Doyle at TE) instead of PJ in order to take a flier on Ronnie Hillman in my deep roster league.

Sill Bimmons

Barry Melrose can barely complete a sentence.

Senor Weaselo

On a scale of yes to Al Michaels yes, how drunk is he?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“◦Perks include pre- and post-game parties, and on-field access (I assume after the game)”

[Receives putrid bag of trash, including confetti ten days after game via UPS]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Gary Sanchez, holy shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

On another plane, this time one that was thoroughly delayed. Now scheduled to land at O’Hare just before 9pm. Think I can make it from the B terminal to the C terminal in time to make my connecting flight at (checks itinerary) 9:15pm?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Make them drive you there in one of the tiny carts. Seriously though, they should give you gate transfer b/c of the delays.

Don T

/staring at piles of paper
[…]

This half-Adderall ain’t doin’ shit.

/staring at cellphone

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Friends, Romans, countrymen… what’s up?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh