Yes, this statement is certainly true if Lamar! (pictured above) runs train on Clemson, as he did on FSU. Otherwise, it may be a complex series of tiebreakers. Anyway, let’s take thins in loose order. It’s bad enough this post already misses Everton in Friday Night Footy (WOO!!) and the Friday Night JV NFL fixture between Top Ten Washington and Stanford.
Swans host Liverpool to kick off your Saturday morning (7:30, NBCSN). I will be sleeping in to recover from Huskies pissing on the Tree (hopefully), thank you very much. I will hope, but not expect, that Swans do a thing.
Hull host Chelski in the main 10:00 window match (NBCSN). Extra Time offers alternative options amongst crap sides in Sunderland/West Brom, Watford/Bournemouth, and West Ham/Middlesbrough.
Since the FA don’t want to compete with Miami/GT (spoiler alert), we proceed to four Sunday fixtures. Manure Host Stoke at 7:00 (NBCSN), followed by the match of the weekend, 2nd place Spurs hosting 1st place City (9:15, NBCSN). Even if Spurs win, they would remain 1 point out of the top spot.
If for some reason you don’t want to watch 1 vs. 2, Leicester and Soton are available on CNBC. Burnley host Arsenal (11:30, NBCSN) in case you don’t want to watch the RedZone Channel fantasy show for some even weirder reason. Turning that page…
Miami at Georgia Tech (Noon, ESPN2)
The early games are shittier than usual, and this is seriously the closest thing I could find to watchable teevee. UGH.
Tennessee at Georgia (3:30, CBS)
Staying in the Peach State, we shall see just how embarrassed the Dawgs are, along with how hungover the Vols be. I imagine the answer to both queries is “a fuckton” but Georgia is also shitty, whereas UT is just mediocre. So this one sets up for another Creamsicle Comeback.
Wisconsin at Michigan (3:30 at ABC)
A game between two Top Ten teams that I have no interest in watching. If the line is 12.5 or less, I would bet on the Wolverines here. Teams are too similar in style, and talent will win out.
Texas A&M at South Carolina (4:00, SECN)
Can you spell “Looking ahead to Alabama trap game?” HIPPO CAN. Cursing the fact that I do not live close to a sportsbook for this one, much like Johnny Reb/UGA last week.
Oklahoma at TCU (5:00, Fox)
STOP PUTTING ALL THE INTERESTING GAMES IN THE SAME TEEVEE WINDOW, GODDAMNIT!!!!
Louisville at Clemson (8:00, ABC)
Don’t pass out before this one, kids. It’s a great environment for a night game, and the tough road setting is the only way Lamar! is anything but an overwhelming favourite. I’m still betting on him with my imaginary Hippo dollars. Along with Roll Damn Tide, easily the two best JV sides in the country.
Arizona at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)
Kind of a weak-assed late night tweaker/DVR/insomniac game, but both these teams coming off late heartbreaker losses last week, and it will be somewhat interesting to see how they rebound. If the Bruins have ANY killer instinct…they’ll show it here.
Thanks FOAR having shitty bullpen, Dirt Stillers! The dream lives on…
Cards must overcome.
There is shit to be given.
And time is of the essence for that to happen.
we are the MLK of MLB ,, ppl forget that
And James Earl Ray lives in San Francisco?
Hmmmm…that would explain a lot.
I wish Morbo had moderated the presidential debate
After their first loss in Stillwater in nearly 20 years Bevo has a sad.
After 1, Wisconsin hasn’t fucked up yet. They will. In no way do they deserve to be ranked #8 in the nation
Somewhere, Russel Wilson just gave you the finger.
He won games 77-12, I was forced to go watch live. These guys are just bad and lucked into a top 25 rank
It’s cooled down enough that my apartment is in the 68-72 degree range that it’s kept at in the winter. I’ve pulled out my super cozy winter bathrobe, the best thing about winter.
I am always warm, that is t-shirt and no pants temp for me, maybe gym shorts if I have to be formal
I’m always warm if I’m moving around, but always cold if I’m sitting still, or laying on the couch drinking and watching Futurama, as is currently the case.
Stop flirting with me, “laying on the couch, drinking and watching Futurama” how could a man resist. Sadly that really hits all my buttons
I have a Slurm t-shirt, and I swear more guys hit on me when I wear it than when I wear something low cut.
You do realize that with football on, that kind of statement could earned you punishment. Right? I like animation as much as the next guy, probably more, but your priorities….I just don’t know who you are anymore Dok.
I’ve never really followed the college football. My college didn’t have a football team, so I didn’t pick up any alliances, and while bowl games can be pretty fun to watch, there’s generally enough shitty play that it’s not super enjoyable.
On behalf of Hippo and Meself, we hereby invite you to join the in crowd.
(nope nevermind…I can’t take the guilt of doing that to you. You stick with Futurama, hon)
http://a.espncdn.com/espn360/images/fb/ncaaf/868383.jpg
cousinlovers crowd can’t even get alternating color sections right smh
Shit, even Tennessee figured that shit out years ago.
smgdh
first two sections didn’t quite get the mo in mountaineers right just then smgdmfh
Bathrobe is probably not formal enough for the opening of the opera tonight. Good enough for the next hour though!
Just keep the belt tight, you should be fine
Try it and see. Bathrobe and one of these, and there’s $10 bucks in it for ya. I dare ya.
(just don’t stock it with Bud Light plz)
They sell wine in cans now!
Problem solved.
It is the opera, a classy event. I assumed he was assuming you filled in those cans of beer with boxed wine
Franzia? MORE LIKE FANCYA!
We could duct tape the box on top of her head. Then she could just lean her head back, open her mouth, stick out her tongue and push the spigot.
(wow, that sounded way less dirty in my head….meh, fuck it, not deleting it now)
http://38.media.tumblr.com/8a00236497d63b71f6281a9c43e4961d/tumblr_mif84eLgpL1s4rha3o1_250.gif
Over/Under on when tWBS drinks himself to sleep I will use the end of game time as the delimeter. 5:30 CT. I vote over, but also worry he passed out already
I’m fine. It’s fine.
NCSU driving again, looking for a 3 score lead. All is well, nothing to see here.
Plus I gotta stay awake long enough to watch ‘Ville hopefully beat Clemson down.
Plus the ‘Dawgs are looking decent now that they’re back b/w the hedges in Athens.
Fuck the Vols, btw.
woo cats
The original pic is just too big.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/50713/36cf8e507121710.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ce176cdb19874ae13b8c47dce8810c0d/tumblr_oahb94Mjpv1uxemmyo1_1280.jpg
Cute dress!
Agreed.
I thought so too
She gon’ break her ankles on those heels tho.
At least the strap is adjusted correctly. She’ll probably be fine as long as she doesn’t have to walk downhill.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/f20417c31891d726b76dd7af0011d9aa/tumblr_od80y61ppr1sz68wxo1_540.jpg
Welp, you tried, Illini, and now the ass-whooping begins. (8:23 left in the 1st)
womp womp cousinlovers
[Redacteds] don’t play today
That’s true.
Nice sustained Wolven drive.
That calls for another beer…yes I already killed the first.
I’s all Unsurprised’s fault…he gave me permission. And he’s an attorney and shit so it’s totally legal.
“As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed, it’ll be a god damn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal.”
Totally relevant, and translated it means shotgun as many beers as possible because reality totally wants you to do shit and the only way to escape it is to become blackout drunk.
Hah! It’ll take more than ‘reality’ to get me to do shit!
I like it, counselor. I’m in.
Bad stuff has never happened to me when I do that
/bad always totally happens when I do that
//beyond caring today
Bad stuff > Family stuff
I agree in principle. Sadly, for me Bad Stuff = Family stuff more often than not.
I always bitch if they turn off games on Sunday for broadcasting reasons, but does anyone think people care what happens in Tex/OKSt in Wisconsin when Wisconsin should be on?
I don’t think any broadcaster cares about Wisconsin
The state
You make some valid points
I know.
Re-hello, peasants. If no one else in my family decides their failure to plan constitutes and emergency for me, I might be able to watch football and get drunk now. Wish me luck.
Just get drunk and tell everyone to go fuck themselves
Wisdom.
Way ahead of ya. 😀
I hate everything.
Even sleep and pizza?
I have sleep apnea and pizza is bad for me for a couple of reasons.
All the fun stuff is bad for ya, but it’s all good, means I don’t have to save as much for retirement.
Sleep apnea is a muthafucka for sure. I got diagnosed right before retiring from the Marines, and the CPAP makes a yuuuuuuuuuggggeeee difference (for me, at least). I didn’t even realize how poorly I was “sleeping” until the sleep study – I set a record that the doctor hadn’t seen for “events” during the course of 6 hours of sleeping.
That shit contributed to the death of my ex. Nothing to fool around with.
I’m with ya there.
But Dok is right, pizza and sleep are still A-OK.
Even the troops? GTFO you illegal Mohammeden!
Especially them
Peak sports radio alert: All my radio stations were on commercial, so I went to AM and got a US spkrts channel (Fox Sports).
The guy said “name a young elite quarterback in the NFL. You can’t!”
In my mind, I was like “Uh, Russel Wilson, Cam Newton?”
A minute after a diatribe? The sports radio guy was like “Newton hasn’t won a Superbowl and Wilson hasn’t played long enough to be considered Elite!”
Ahhh! I turned it off after that.
I’d kill myself before listening to political or sports talk radio. Or most any radio. Or most anyone talking.
Yeah, I forgot to charge my ipod. I usually can get bu with radio, but once in awhile, there’s a perfect shit storm where all the FM stations are on commercial at the same damn time
I slept till noon! That’s probably the only advantage of the shortening days, rainy weather, and extremely late sunrise time.
“I slept till noon!”
– Johnny Manziel, explaining why he was asked to leave Manning Passing Academy
blackout curtains are a great investment
/fuck the sun
I’m usually a fan of the FireMoon, most days I have to wake up well before sunrise and that blows. The rare day I can actually sleep in is a welcome exception, but probably not worth buying new curtains for 🙂
Aluminum foil is way cheaper than blackout curtains.
I am now watching something called the Boston Slow White play some sport I’ve never heard of.
On an unrelated note, which overhyped matchup of the week will be a snooze fest, all or both?
Oh I guess it is just Ultimate Novelty Flying Disc. But co-ed teams? What is this, communism?
And they somehow manage to have more commercials and pregame coverage than a football game! Fuck you! You’re not even being broadcast on a real tv channel!
For anyone who is interested, I just finished Drew’s new book The Hike and I must say I was vastly entertained. It’s like an acid trip with a heart.
Give it a read. Our long lost baby daddy deserves as much.
Is it about his life? Or random musings that #upforwhatever axed?
Not really, it’s a fantasy fiction book kind of an alternate reality survival story with a cameo or 2 that his regular readers will appreciate.
IS IT WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS?
Noon games should have 12 minute quarters by default, like that Clem-son game a few weeks ago
I like this formulation and believe we should continue referring to that school as “Clem-son”.
EAT. SOME. KALE!
/strange an eater as I am…I actually don’t mind the flavour
It’s good in moderation. I go months eating it, followed by months of not touching it with a 10 ft poll
Sexy Saturday? Whatever, I am bored and my game I really don’t care about isn’t on for an hour
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ba26be2e2a1eb4eb7479d2abb74bca1c/tumblr_nu3j492Nwb1tbs59no1_540.png
Those shorts are great.
But a site like the one in the watermark, you know that’s as much skin as they’d dare to show.
That nap between 56′ – 73′ of Hull – LIV was sweet. I’ll try to recapture that magic right now.
Did someone call for a Fat Sam?
http://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/6/f/4/9/6f49e11cdc393d8d/Fletch_65.jpg
Boo! You changed your name back!
Hey, people wanted the fury.
Tom Emanski reference in the OSU-Rutgers game, drink!
THE FURY IS BACK! In my balls.
http://static1.squarespace.com/static/51eef94de4b089778decd947/51eef94de4b089778decd94d/51effa93e4b02ed598f03198/1377003889629/studio_2.jpg
Oh goddammit. Now I gotta deal with my jailbird brother.
Fuck off already universe.
/suicidal intentions gaining traction
Well fuck, I might be getting a late start, but let’s fucking do this.
I got 2 hours to get drunk enough to not care when Wake beats some Wolven ass, but not so drunk that I go on a rampage. It’s a delicate balance.
I have never seen you meet that balance. Also H. With you when the Badgers game starts, or a little bit now
I meet it often. You just don’t see it because when I meet it I’m able to not go to dark places and I blend in with the crowd. Today will likely not be one of those days, so buckle up, sweetheart.
On board. No seatbelts.
Is no one watching the early games today at all? Normally there are a few people talking up their off day team
Hey, you like Angelina Jolie, she give you a big boner?
WELL HERES JON VOIGHTS BALLSACK
VOIGHT: But anyway we had a good time and we went from state to state, and talked to very enthusiastic, large crowds. But the thing is, you’ve got to get to the other folks. You’ve got to get to these folks. Like I think it’s so important Donald Trump went to that black church and spoke to the black people directly. And if they can be educated they certainly will come over to the side of Donald Trump and the Republicans.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/09/trump-supporter-jon-voight-if-blacks-can
That level delusion is almost quaint.
Strong taek: If Hillary wants to win the Millennial vote, she should stop white washing the recent Republican history and stop having the murderers row of the Fucking Bush administration campaigning for her
Every single Marky Mark Walberg movie should have instead of white flava flave, have the dude that does the All State “mayhem” commercials.
WE NEED A FUNKY BUNCH MOVIE, PPL
per AV Club, only 3 MOAR 8-episode seasons of Archer. Sad Hippo.
I had my first reply written “Those mother fuckers gave us 23 eps a year of Frisky Dingo” When I reread what was happening my reply is “Those fuckers only gave us 2 seasons of that show, what should we expect”. So emotion wise. Mostly sad, not surprised.
This Okla St/Texas game is a LOT of fun…
that’s a paddlin’
UCLA doesn’t know what a killer instinct is. They may win, but not due to any kind of testicular fortitude.
Notre Dame and Syracuse are doing the “ACC Salute to Terrible Defense” Game justice.
On pace to be 105 to 98…
http://i.imgur.com/329EWxz.gif
So the 2 brothers and I are doing a down and back trip tomorrow to see Saints at Chargers. The fun part is oldest brother works at UCLA and will be at the game tonight, start time of 7:30 local meaning he won’t be home until about 2 AM and we’re getting up around 6 tomorrow to drive to San Diego. Fuck it man he can crash in the back. I’m just gonna grab a coffee and navigate while brother DJ Taj drives. Taj is a Saints fan and oldest brother is a Chargers fan.
For me having to get up early tomorrow offers a totally reasonable reason to drink early and pass out early today.
Cheers!
Are you driving down? You might think about taking the train; it’s easy to get to and from the stadium via the trolley plus no traffic.
We’re driving down. I mentioned last night that if you park at the trolley transfer station in Old Town and take the trolley to the game it lets you of right at the stadium then taking it back after the game you just jump on the 5 north and you miss the stadium traffic.
You don’t miss the going back to LA traffic when you get up by San Juan Capistrano though.
I don’t care, I bought the tickets so I’m just riding. Plus we can stop at Lolita’s for a carne asada burrito on the way home.
Have fun. We will miss you tomorrow. Drink up.
The power of BOLTMAN! shall sustain you.
Also, UCLA will kill Arizona. Arizona is not a good team and they’re getting bitten hard by the injury bug. They caught Washington in a trap game but I’d give UCLA the 12 points (not sure on the 58.5 total — it’s a toss up; err on the over).
Australia – South Africa rugby is just as brutal as I would expect. 13-7 Oz 5 minutes before half.
Tri Nations?
No. That Championship League.
And I was still half asleep, it’s 12-10 South Africa.
I’m 1 ep into Luke Cage, liking it so far for the most part. The villain names are terrible even by comic book standards. Shades because he wears Shades and Cottonmouth because I guess he smoked too much weed?
Sweet Christmas!
So I’m in Vegas for like 24 hours (work dinner last night and a meeting later this morning before flying back early this pm) and the TV in my room is like a 32″. Seriously? I’d expect LV to have a law that no TV can be this small/crappy remote.
It is Vegas, if you complain they will probably comp you a hooker.
Those days of any kind of comp are long gone. Place is like Disneyland where every single square foot is about generating as much revenue as possible.
Plus being on a work trip makes it less fun (because I’m a hater).
It all comes back to how much did you pay for the room.
West Ham WOOO! Goal of the season (so far) by Payet? What a fucking run!
I just realized that the London game is this weekend, and starts at 6:30 a.m. here. I can’t wait to mainline football ALL DAMN DAY.
INDEED. 6:30/9:30 kickoff means ALL VIEWING BLOCKS are MANDATORY for Commentist Party members in good standing.
I forced my kid to make her iPhone repair appt for Monday instead. Mandatory is mandatory, CHUH CHUH.
DUH DOY, that also means there was no reason to preview any Sunday Lesser Footy, when we have Jaguras/Humps to feast upon. smgdh, Hippo, smgdh so hard.
Nay nay, for we will need entertainment once the game becomes intolerable. Your devotion is much appreciated.
I’ll probably only see the 1 game tomorrow but it will be live and we have really great seats.
I should have included in the intro…Fat Sam getting busted in a corruption sting and losing the England national coaching job is the most England national team thing to EVAR happen.
/insert Icelandic viking clap
Badgers have been a pleasant surprise, but I’m guessing their run on house money comes to an end. Unfortunate as I’d love to watch the Khaki King chew through his headset.
Oh, it is a fucking afternoon game. I need to find something to do for 4 hours now not college football related so I can pretend to care when it comes on
Today is haircut and oil change day, my personal Scylla and Charybdis.
Well played Senor Hippo.
I think I might be skipping the early early, and the early installment. There will be enough pain and anguish at 3:30. We’ll play it ny ear.
SHIT, I had even forgotten that the wolven fixture is up against all the good games, too. Fuck my stupid fucking life already.