Yes…yes you do have to watch this game. There’s Advil® in the cabinet, I suggest you utilize it. And stay hydrated.
It’s been a looooong day of derp and bleergh already. Some of which the NFL exported across the pond. I’ll leave the comical recap-ish quips to my good friend, El Hippo tomorrow morning. But I will say this:
The bestest thing that ever came out of London was this….
Sexiest Alice in ever. Call me, Alice. Please.
But sadly, if she does finally lift the restraining order, I’ll be too tired and too inebriated to do anything about it. Up yours, London. Starting footballing at 9:30am is surprisingly not so great. tWBS not so great at the slow burn as it turns out. Hopefully Alice will understand when the blood flow cannot be diverted properly. No good deed…etc., etc.
–
KC @ Pitt
The last time out, the Steelers got punched in the mouth hard by the Eagles. I mean lead pipe to the mandible level hard. Like, spitting out teeth hard. I was embarrassed for them. Seriously. In spite of being a Ratbirds homer, the Steelers do happen to be my 2nd. I know, I’m weird. At home tonight, they’ll be looking to show themselves and the world that they are not the giant vaginal orifices they appeared to be last week.
KC comes in after a convincing win over the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets last week. But then again, it was the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. So there ya go. Andy Reid was already working the clock as only he can immediately after that one….
“It’s important we enjoy this today and then get ourselves ready for the Steelers. We have a ton of room to improve – absolutely. We have a lot of things we can take out of this and we’ll do that work,” Reid said after the win on Sunday.
Both clubs come in with 2-1 marks. The Steelers have a -3 advantage according to Vegas. Both teams have a lot of question marks on both sides of the ball.
–
Hey, it’s football. And it could be worse. It could be NYG @ Minny.
/looks at schedule for MNF tomorrow
Really? Sonofabitch!!!!!
–
Try to stay conscious ppl. Rapey McGrayPenis might forcibly mount Andy Reid by halftime. You wouldn’t want to miss that.
Ok, maybe you would 😉
–
Heyward-Bey did a good? Tackling? What the fuck?
Best game of his entire pro career already.
Yeah, I’m not going to stay up and watch a Steeler blowout win.
Where-was-this-shit-last-weekdown?!
THIS JAMAL CHARLES I CALL HIM CUSTER BECAUSE OF THE DISASTER OF HIS WOUNDED KNEE
But Custer was Little Bighorn!
That turned out hilarious.
ANOTHER GUY WHO DOESNT DO THINGS DOES A THING WOO
Oh, this sex is on probation
Jarvis Jones did a good?!
Oh, for fuck’s sake, Alex.
Remember how in Blitz The League where it showed the injuries? Yeah, I don’t need to see that shit.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/bae48391c3a716ec96140d41665efdd7/tumblr_inline_n93awssOGZ1qh03xv.gif
OH GOD SHE’S MALFUNCTIONING
ILL SAVE HER SHE JUST NEEDS SOME MOUTH TO MOUTH AND INTENSIVE CHEST MASSAGE
Oh hey, I don’t have to prep a quiz for my class in the morning. Yay, that’s another 30 minutes of sleep I get.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/17003373aec6b910df818d43df8b183d/tumblr_njfq9u2yMg1r1yqj1o6_500.png
Getting ready
Miller Lite: Unlike other companies we’re #UpForTheProperTimeAndPlace
insufficient Le’Veon usage
GUY WHO DOESNT DO THINGS DOES THING WOO
Story of my life
HARF! Ben try different catchman
Harfdown!
Wait, those Alec Baldwin/Missy Elliott Amazon ads didn’t shift a lot of product?
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/3/30/Phoebe_buffay_shocked_SHOCKED.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4e7e6601741ef493b5c81ab3a7287843/tumblr_n08ot1x6EG1saa4c5o1_400.gif
God i miss that first season of true detective. Lighting in a bottle indeed.
HARF HARF HARF BIG BEN GET ‘NOTHER TRY. NO WONDER BIG BEN LIKE STRIPPERS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep during the late games and now I’m behind on everything.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–yJcWcrqR–/ktw4v7rb5ver0zep7u8x.gif
NEW MR PLINKETT REVIEW!!!!
NEW STAR WARS PLINKETT REVIEW!!??
MUST CREDIT SILL BIMMONS!
Crap. Can’t take it back now.
FINALLY
http://66.media.tumblr.com/855470a65fc29e43a84f53a314ca6942/tumblr_obe4or6XXG1rvzucio1_1280.jpg
Well there goes my roller hockey ball.
Even Pennywise is saying “fuck it, I’m out.”
MANAGEABLE DOWN AND DISTANCE YOU GUYS
Fuck it. Here are her boobs.
h
ttp://i.imgur.com/T9rZ4un.gifv
ABOUT TIME
Oh, are we doing this?
That’s some high caliber secondary play
MOON SAMMIE FUCKIN WOO
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f4ee829b7617cb1db364611742d9a3b8/tumblr_ocy16dHHH61qdgzyfo1_1280.jpg
ONE SACK IN THREE GAMES HOLY FUCKBALLS
WOOOOOOOOOOO
I knew it was bad but it didn’t know it was THAT bad…
I don’t like this game already.
Once again, on behalf of the people of Cincinnati, I apologize for Cris Collinsworth. I don’t that I can say that enough.
WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN HIM INSTEAD OF HARAMBE? -Someone, probably
I was expecting an apology for the diarrhea you people call chili.
1. Its Cincinnati Chili, not real chili. We freely admit it.
2. Like the bears in hibernation, we eat ice cream and rib to counteract the diarrhea.
Oh my, you and I hang out with different bears!
3. Plus it allows us to say things like, “Would you like to go out and have a 3-way?” to a hot chick and not get slapped in the face.
Well I like getting slapped in the face during my 3-ways!
This week will start a 23 day period of training. Each week, its a different set of customers and a different drive product.
9 hours a day of me just trying to entertain and trained random groups of people.
Week one, is with French Canadians for a conveyor belt system.
My French Canadian is fucking garbage…
Something something poutine secede poutine Quebecois. Fortunately they mostly spoke English when I was there that one time.
Annoyingly for me, I have already been requested to use as much French as possible.
“Start Le drive…et….um….le bibliotique”..
Tourtiere
Montreal is good with English, Quebec City they would rather you have Zika than speak English.
Hey, criss de calice, la!
Also, a gift for you from my beautiful [second] language:
Of to Lolita’s for the traditional post game carne asada burrito.
Burrito, light of your life, fire of your buttocks…
Is that a euphemism?
Nope, it’s just a goddamn awesome San Diego thing.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view8/4745064/alice-eve-o.gif
Ew, that picture is disgusting! Will someone tear that Steelers top off of her, please!
I still think this is the best dress that Carrie Underwood’s ever worn.
The song and dress need to be shorter
Seriously though, why DOES Costas travel with the SNF crew? He doesn’t contribute anything that requires him to be there. He doesn’t contribute anything AT ALL really.
Good work if you can get it I suppose.
he must spread the pink eye
He has short-man-fetish road beef in each city.
Travis Kelce is going to be his own dating show, you guys. Will he SKEET on his first choice of lady? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.
http://i.imgur.com/UQmzw44.gif
Jerk in Love with Travis Kelce?
Ooh, can we do NFL Dating Shows? Like A Stab at Love with Ray Lewis?
I think we all need to appreciate that the Patriots scored zero points today. Zero. I don’t think we’re appreciating that enough.
Getting shut out. At home. Double bonus points.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/909836217688252b5dc4d73aaa7cca2c/tumblr_oe45pe3D2F1qz7e04o2_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/20ec36391cdc90cc43175efeb6af2ef2/tumblr_oe5cp0Yn9p1ty8mi0o4_r1_540.gif
Oh, even though it hurt me in the pool, I found it fucking great. Now Tawmmmy is back.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wE0yVfdeqNM/VRzmj1ZtxbI/AAAAAAAAStM/KQo5dMVn410/s1600/im-so-embarrassed.gif
The fact that Tom Brady is going to destroy the first couple of teams in revenge and my team is the 2nd team he faces next. I want a overconfident Tom Brady, not a pissed off one.
If we can just kick it down the road forever… paging Bernard Pollard!
Yup. Benched the Bills D today.
I may not be very good at fantasy football you guys.
The San Diego Chargers, a not-quite one-act play by OSZ:
[door flies open]
Mike McCoy: Hello everyone!
Everyone: Shut the door!
Mike McCoy: [closes door half way]
Everyone: Shut it!
Mike McCoy: [closes door half of half way]
Everyone: NOOOOOOOO–
[door flies open, opposing team wins]
–fin
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4b0e809fa3cd761f256f438af2d28733/tumblr_odv5lk5a9x1vnjnxno1_1280.jpg
This is wholly perfect.
TIME TO GET READY FOR TOMORROW.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/6baa655449b8c0bd1883900e4fe3d9e1/tumblr_od493lxldP1t95h1uo1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/fe1cdf5644e0b968b08f3f3e9870f29a/tumblr_ocozcsnCO31sr5vsyo6_r1_540.gif
Mmmm… you’re tempting me.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d95b90749770eeae24007f76e5062e9b/tumblr_nvpc5u1Bdt1unl8s2o2_250.gif
THESE COACHES I CALL THEM THE 2008 ELECTION BECAUSE IT FEATURES A PRETTY BORING BLACK GUY AND A WHITE GUY WHO LOSES TRACK OF TIME
Did Mike Tomlin age 20 years over the offseason?
Black don’t crack.
Except when it gets murked by an overachieving 4-12 team, apparently.
http://media.blizzard.com/heroes/images/busts/murky.jpg
Are we doing WoW now?
http://i.makeagif.com/media/12-05-2015/8NYgkd.gif
Of course I played against Julio Jones in the game I could have won today.