Don’t you just love flurstbulb? Gspecially when they plat in Londern and you can trink all blay long. WHOO! P! 2 TA BLAMES!!@X!!!!!!!!!!
Den/TB-Believe it or not, rb Doug “I’m super healthy this year, honest!” Martin is out for this one. The Broncos counter with de Ware being de-sidelined. This one’s a wash. For you fantasy dudes, take a close look at rb Sims for Tampa-not the best of matchups but he’ll get a ton of touches. Yes, it’s only 3 weeks in but wr Evans is trending towards 1600 yards and 16 TD’s. I’d go with 1300 and 11 if he’s solved his dropsy problem. Trevor “I’ll try hard not to lose the game” Siemian has acquitted himself better than most folks expected. Of course that D gives him quite a bit of leeway.
LA/Zona-The Rams have won 2 in a row? [looks at standings] Yup. HC Fisher is that co-worker that does just enough to not get fired when upper management is eyeballing him. I hate those guys! Plus, he probably doesn’t cut his nose hairs. Last week the Cards could have crushed Rex Ryan’s chances of coaching the rest of the year but instead chose to fold like a Walmart-purchased deck chair. The chances of each of these squads returning to form this week are very good.
NO/SD-“Don’t You Forget About Me.”-Both Team’s D
Simple minds like yours truly want to the see the world and both of these D’s burn. Let’s have a 53-48 “this is what you really want, Goodell” final score.
Dal/SF-The Dez has a hairline fracture and didn’t show up to his MRI apparently. What the hell do you want Jerry? THE GUY MAJORED IN DRAMA!* (*may not be even remotely true) If you’re in a PPR league you’re in love with a little Beasley. Qb Gabbert is getting it done in the “Start Kaep” department-his 5.5 yards per attempt is last among starting QB’s. As a Giant flan, (and who doesn’t love an over-sized flan?) I’m hoping that the Niners steal this one but there may not be enough smoke and mirrors in California to pull it off and that’s saying something. What am I trying to say? Nothing.
Now, my sweet, sweet monkeys, GET GOING!
It’s funny. Kuhn just scored a TD for the Saints, and no one is chanting ‘KUHHHHN’
LETS FUCKING GO ZEKE!!!!!!!
I love this passive aggressive thing aimed at me by DTZM
“To see YouTube links or your precious This Is Great button, please refresh the page.”
It makes me smile every time
Fuck John Kuhn with a rusty garden weasel.
it’s raining KUHNS!!!!!
/no ofence
Hey, look! Some people still do the guy holding a ‘D’ and a guy holding a ‘FENCE’ thing!
Haha, that guy’s holding a ‘D’
I say this every year but I want the sad Fox injury music to be played on loop at my funeral.
Bowman’s sitting up which is good because my first thought on that replay is that is Achilles tendon wasn’t attached to anything anymore.
that don’t look good for Bowman
Hey, Tim Hightower is still around! There have been so many ex-[*Redacted] running backs, it’s nice to catch a glimpse every once in a while. They should have a club!
I’m starting to kind of want to see The Accountant and I know I’m going to wind up renting it and when I regret wasting the following two hours I want you all to remind me that I knew this was coming and am an idiot.
I say we liveblog it.
I half-watched London Has Fallen knowing it would be jingoistic violence porn, so I know what you’re feeling.
You know, if it sucks, you don’t have to keep watching.
Tell that to Bears fans.
That is what I thought would happen with John Wick but I enjoyed the hell out of that movie.
It was Cowboy Bebop meets Payback. It was so good.
Southwest : The Least Lifesucking of the Discount Airlines
Sean Lee isn’t dead yet?
Can you imagine having Sean Lee and Luke Kuechly on the same team?
For those of you who were confused by the lack of Chargers derps, we now resume our regular programming.
“Teams that have battled injuries, and mistakes”
So….EVERY GODDAMN TEAM EVER?
http://cdn-s3.si.com/s3fs-public/videos/2157889318001_4790469814001_4772647183001-vs.jpg
Jesus fuck, Cards
Happy St. Louis Cardinals Schadenfreude Day, everyone!
No one cares about your based ball. THERE IS FOOTBALL ON.
Madison Bumgarner god mode activate for the wild card game! Please?
It’s the second most wonderful time of the year
It’s baseball’s Patriots Schadenfreude Day with lots of Midwestern faux-humility mixed in!
Go for it
Agreed. Worst case Blaine Gabbert takes over at the 50.
Elliot is an easy two yards…bad call.
Zeke is power.
Going from hearing Vin Scully for the last time to hearing Harold Fucking Reynolds is some kind of auditory cruelty I don’t even the Germans have a word for.
It’s the Red River Shootout not Showdown you weenie PC fucks.
Hey! The only gunslingers the NFL wants to talk about include [small penis pic joke]!
After years of tying horses with quick-release knots, I now automatically tie my bathrobe the same way.
I was being too friendly with Zymm, she continues to kick my ass at FF so I don’t like her
You’ve caught up loads, it’s in no way decided. Cam went all concussiony, and I thought it would be awesome to sit Will Fuller despite having a good feeling that he was gonna do all sorts of awesome shit….yeah, Melvin is solid, but who the fuck knows what will happen with the Minny D? Defenses are never guaranteed points.
That’s the Gabbert throw I know!
Right after Aikman got done saying that Gabbert could make any throw he needed to.
As long as it needed to bounce twice before getting to the receiver.
Does Ferragamo make bathrobes? If I ever accidentally end up at a red carpet gala I’m gonna need a statement piece.
Who?
Will this be remembered as the year of the horrible defense?
Refer to the early slate of games results.
Apparently it was not that the Cowboys’ D was much improved last week so much as it was that the Bears are really bad at football.
Are the Niners doing the Zack Ryder chant after every catch?
Case Keenum needed like a four step windup to get off a 40 yard throw.
I would have expected him to need to use a catapult or trebuchet
I was about to celebrate the Skins being at .500 when I realized that’s a pathetic thing to celebrate. I’m going to celebrate something else instead. Like this lovely ice that my ice maker made! Or the fact that I’m gonna do very little at work tomorrow! SHOTS!
Celebrate the ice. I love having ice and miss having it right next to me
Jesus this is a long halftime break.
I took a shower, watched the end of the Yankees season, and now Paxton Lynch is playing QB? What happened?
WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE A SHOWER!!!!!!!
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/49512/5bdba8495119245.jpg
This is pretty much the caliber of content on CNN nowadays.
Dear god,
Family Day is death. I missed the morning due to brunch. Now you have taken the afternoon due to “sightseeing”.
Please smite my relatives. I can always find new in-laws.
Yours,
Beerguyrob
This is exactly the situation where contacts with a little screen in the corner that automatically shows all football would be useful. Until that comes to pass, sorry, sucks to be you. Maybe you can talk them into dinner somewhere that’s showing the game?
Also, has Pagano been fired yet or is there no communication with the Drug Force One while it’s crossing the Atlantic?
First Irsay wants to see if he gets through customs with the bags of pills he gave him
Oh! That’s why you were talking about Lady Gaga!
I hope Gaga uses the halftime show as an opportunity to burn an American flag or make some other over the top protesty statement off-script.
Like doing the entire halftime show from her knees? Giggedy……
Jim Johnson now pitching for the Braves. How does he find the time, what with being a NASCAR driver, former head football coach/talking head, and sandwich shop entrepreneur?
Does he also still sell dick growing pills?
In fairness, it’s the Braves.
I haven’t seen a Gordon flip out like that since Agent Cole talked to Shelley Johnson in the RR Diner.
I gotta go cook some food.
Later taters.
Cheers, beers
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
(just wait ’til Christmas when I start quoting the Grinch…hee hee)
I can’t think of any coaches who lost weight and got better.
Arians needs to eat himself to a heart attack if he wants to salvage this season.
How is McCluster still in the league. I picked him up in a few leagues a couply years back as a backup that I always thought would become good but never did
couple*
Eddie Lacy is very likable in that commercial.
They really should’ve called this show with Joe Buck “NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
I am 12 minutes into an Opera that got paused so I could listen to my dad talk about the Ryder cup for 10 min. Back to bugging Zymm. What did you wear for your night out? New shoes that sucked, we know that. How elegant did you look on your night out?
This is the dress. The shoes that sucked match. Red velvet jacket, with matching brooch, that’s about it.
And the bow in the hair?
Where’s Lady Gaga?
FORWARD FUCKING PROGRESS. Doesn’t apply to actual fucking.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/50249/54ba39502487914.jpg
So why are the Saints so damn bad at tackling? Do they have reverse-bounties for missed tackles?
Thou shall not touch another man as thou would touch a woman?
I didn’t know Antonio Dungerson replaced Rob Ryan
Joe Buck is going to cream his pants talking about baseball during “our” football.
I would vote for Vin Scully for President before I’d vote for Trump.
What if it were Scully v Clinton?
Scully would win every debate by seamlessly interweaving insightful points on policy with endearing stories about the 1988 Dodgers.
I miss Pat Summerall
You and me both.