Kudos to those of you that viewed *all* the football yesterday. That is an amazing commitment on your part. Between the booze and the better half staring at me with her hands on her hips I was not able to get it done. I don’t use the word ‘hero’ very often but you folks are the true heroes of this site. You’re the glue that keeps the macaroni on the construction paper of the open threads. TO THE GAME!
NYG/MINNY-[looks at Giants injury report] WHY GOD, WHY? Hey, remember last year when the Giants secondary was struck by a rash-ton of injuries? Well, looky here-tonight cb Rogers-Cromartie is limited, Apple is done and safeties Thompson and Berhe are out. That means that qb Bradford, he of the 67.8 completion % and passer rating of 107.8 might just have himself a walk in the park. He’s very accurate on short/medium routes so look for wr Diggs and te Rudolph to shine. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! The Vikes have 15 sacks in three games and are going up against an average O-Line. This is the very situation where the Giants need Eli to pull the old 420 yards passing gem out of his ass. It’s not out of the realm of rational thinking given his wr trio of OBJ, Cruz and Shepherd.
Now…START YOUR KEYBOARDS, GENTLEMAN!
Without Bridgewater and Babybeater, the Vikings are 4-0.
Night.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9455ca10227208594dd89b161aa00759/tumblr_o8b3k1akCL1ql8t12o1_1280.jpg
That looks like a souvenir t-shirt you’d get form Uncle Touchy’s Naked Puzzle Basement.
Or Wolfman Rob’s van.
Either way you won’t wear a shirt and you’ll cry.
Some scientifically-illiterate parents are throwing a fit in Chicago because schools are allowing cell phone antennas to be mounted on the building. The money quote is when a dad takes an RF meter into the school sees it spike to higher than normal but still safe level and admits he doesn’t know what it means, but still goes on to be pretty convinced RF waves can possible give you cancer despite the fact the very nature of RF suggests they probably can’t.
Oh, and then the wife goes bonkers making comments on an article when people call out the hubby for being clueless.
What is it about being a parent that causes some folks to totally lose their minds?
Oh and I’ll bet these dopes don’t think twice about sun exposure either which abso-fucking-lutely can give you tumors, but THE STRANGE TECHNOLOGY HAS TO BE A THREAT BECAUSE IT’S NOT NATURAL.
Radio waves are WAY too long to set up the kind of molecular vibration that leads to thymine dimer formation.
PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDS
It’s a shame that the local TV news folks are as ignorant on the subjects as the dopes they’re interviewing, but I’d like them to ask ma and pa what the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation is then to ask which cell towers give off. I’d watch just for the post-interview shitfit they throw.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b28397297b56a79656fa782582f24ae9/tumblr_o2l91kdYRF1u78m4jo1_400.gif
At Omnitouch we prefer to call them “Keep In Touch Trees.”
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/5/58/Screen-shot-2012-04-17-at-11-11-57-am.png
Having kids allows people to unleash their inner asshole and rationalize that it’s justified. “I’m a MAMA BEAR!” No, you’re just a jerk.
Pretty much. This mom posted something about fire stations don’t allow cell towers built on their property without considering that probably has to do with interfering with emergency communications and not safety.
And of course, the woman isn’t bothering to take into consideration levels of exposure or that RF radiation can’t actually break chemical bonds that would damage DNA to cause cancer but IT’S NOT PROVEN SAFE SO WE MUST BE AFRAID.
Auto-correct is killing our children.
Theres a report that the Dolphins are trying to trade for Catler?
AFC East defenses doooonnnn’t caaaaarre
Camel….. toe in spandex.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0cc0ca18209b0785dc58f112750ea7a2/tumblr_o15uihy0Np1qbr5uao1_1280.jpg
http://cogdogblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/is-it-over-yet.jpg
Just a Giant shitpile of nothing.
Eli almost lost Saturday cartoon privileges with that pass.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b0386fd7040649bc0fad9e5d0632430d/tumblr_oa3hvuN15o1sncaa3o1_400.gif
Did those fuckers steal Iceland’s soccer chant?
Of course
http://67.media.tumblr.com/002c60b1032368a4b456f8886313087f/tumblr_oavzgrait81qep5zro1_1280.jpg
to think, this is not even an Indianapolis-based chain!
Yes they did. You’d think that Bradford would have a problem with stealing things from other nations.
Awwwww…they think they’re actual Vikings…
The Kensington Runestone is real!!!
Might wanna try something more than little dump passes Eli.
If only the Giants had some talented downfield receivers.
Now, now. The doctor said we’re supposed to encourage little Eli when he makes a dump.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/09ef715ba1401671cdeb7e99b86e1e62/tumblr_ne6f9wlMU21qb7kwmo1_1280.jpg
Why is Tony Sparano wearing sunglasses…indoors…inside a dome…at night?
Tony Sparano’s sunglasses: ………..
Tony Sparano’s football: ……….
Tony Sparano’s sunglasses: YEEEEEEEEAH!
So he can
So he can
Keep track of the visions in his eyes
BIG Corey Hart fan
It could be to combat glare from incipient posterior subcapsular cataracts that is exacerbated by the presence of so much more “A” illuminant than on the sunniest day.
No, I’m pretty sure if you combine Tony Sparano and Norv Turner, you get Dave Wannstedt.
Imma bet Hippo and I had the same reaction to that Vikings rushing stat…
Hippo’s attention wandered
/smgdh at self
Something something fuck Adrian Peterson something something
oh absolutely! I did see McKinnon’s YPA earlier and was all like, fuck that motherfucking useless Purple Jesus asshole in his fucking earhole
/very glad he died so I am not playing him and watching him grind up 4-5 points every goddamned week of the year
//that Jordan Howard I picked up on waivers looks pretty ok!
http://rs160.pbsrc.com/albums/t196/orac1977/worfshocked.gif~c200
Looks like Sam Bradford is on…
(whips off sunglasses)
the warpath!
YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
LILY!
WHERE?
ON THE TEEVEE
WASNT WATCHING APPARENTLY
In other TV news, women wrestlers join their male counterparts in thinly-veiled suicide attempts. I guess it’s hard being Ric Flair’s daughter.
https://twitter.com/WWE/status/783141188756836352
Oh what the hell. I thought twitter embeds were a thing now.
Thank gob my giant shiny dome isn’t quite so giant and shiny as SVP’s.
I’ve seen more urgency out of a teenage bladder on a road trip.
More production, too.
You know, if he didn’t have a moustache and was wearing a lace bonnet, Ben McAdoo could probably look exactly like a Salt Lake City sisterwife.
I greatly enjoyed this. Huzzah!
hey guys
Sup Sill.
How the fuck ya’ doin?
Yo
Charlie don’t flare.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/aabd2b875905bd377ff94b35e2e392f8/tumblr_nt6oej5RJQ1urzjf2o1_500.gif
So I had a deadline on some curriculum stuff tonight and just polished it off, and clearly that was the right call, because seems like everything is happening exactly as expected…
That Charles Johnson is a pretty good catcher
Never mind, it’s not happening.
Yep, definitely no Oreos for Eli after the game. Straight to bed with no comic books, too.
“I knew I should have gone to Peyton’s for those nachos!”
STOP trying to make fetch happen!!
Horatio predicted that.
Nailed it!
Sam Bradford looks like he’s trying to get payback for that Brooklyn Bridge for beads trade
It does seem like he’s collecting scalps on the field.
So I haven’t watched the game at all or seen the score.
I’m gonna guess the vikes are up, but not by more than 10 points,
and despite sporadic play all night, eli has a chance to win this thing
Ding fucking ding
You have Horatio’s timing. Well done.
My locker is really a Tardis.
I wish I’d named my fantasy team Bradford-Turner Overdrive.
I’m Brock Turner Overdrive. I’m surprised at the amount of times I’ve had to explain the Turner Overdrive part of the name.
Looks like we have a ballgame zzzzzzzzz
Is this shit gonna end soon?
Gruden also thinks that durable consumer goods would be way better if we didn’t have 40-hour work weeks and child labor laws.
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Bill-Murray-Mirror-Smile.gif
IT’S… interesting?
Protip: If you’re time travelling back to 1938, might want to leave the black guy at home for that mission…
Like Louis CK says, time travel is exclusively a white privilege
Darkwa Duck?
Let’s. Get. Dangerous!
Eliception?
Jon Gruden begging the fans not to stop watching in the 4th quarter because Manning might lead a comeback.
THIS GUY GRUDEN I CALL HIM ESTRAGON BECAUSE HE’S WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!
Oops.
Yeah the timing on that could not have been worse.
Oh, that is a good one, have yourself a carrot.
THIS HORATIO CORNBLOWER I CALL HIM VIN SCULLY BECAUSE OF HIS IMPECCABLE TIMING
What’s the over/under on the Week that Beckham snaps and goes all The Last Boy Scout on the opposing defense?
I was thinking 11 last week but after seeing the first half of this game I’m thinking 7 might be more realistic.
Every wife on This Old House:
We absolutely LOVE this house. Except every single thing about it.
Hrmph. Women.
Click on Embankment View.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/551bc9a43a82b9ccb4f88695d86bb8f6/tumblr_oatsuqm4L81ql8t12o1_1280.jpg
I haven’t heard this much praise for Norv Turner since he defended Earth from that meteor shower.
Tirico sure looks pale these days
I hope it wasn’t the Double Dutch Oven.
“The clock is becoming an enemy for the Giants…”
Eli: “Aww, is it bedtime already?”
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b8136e97394ad90535b8bd47d65608e0/tumblr_obxevkQXum1tlb56zo1_500.gif
That cat speaks for us all.
There is about 30 to 40 million that it doesn’t…. which to me is the most depressing thing .
They’re not Us. They’re Them. And the Thems are scary….
So about one in ten Americans are dumber than a cat?
Pretty much. It does explain Florida and Texas.
I really love the fact the meerkat is the most murderous mammal.
Second most.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f42d4713b4f216ecaa25a9bdf51268bd/tumblr_nunaupoz2S1qigaa4o1_1280.jpg
I love the comments on the stories about mammal murder explain how humans are actually way worse than these other animals because whatever.
We may not lead the mammal kingdom in murder, but we certainly lead it in inflated sense of importance.
I started watching poker at halftime because Berman and just came back and realized I missed absolutely nothing.
I fucker HATE televised poker. What I’m saying is; good choice over Berman.
I fucker is better than I Robot.
It’s certainly more fascinating than what the Giants are doing right now.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b341a2fa77f3f07600d4ee05849c1ad0/tumblr_nqxz679mWJ1rx4ivwo1_500.gif
More proof that cats are evil incarnate.
That even looks exactly like MY CAT.
I understand “Throw the ball to Beckham,” but maybe not EVERY ball.