Hey, fellow ruffians! There’s a ton of retrotainment going on ce soir. Whether you choose the debate, the baseball or this wonderful football tilt, I’m all ears and fingers.
NYG/GB-The qb Eli has not played well the last two weeks. He’s got an extremely talented trio of wr’s to go to but his throwing decisions tell me he’s 22 years old, not 35. Whatever. A much smarter qb-Rodgers-will pick apart a depleted Giants secondary to the tune of at least 3 scores through the air and I will hate everything and everybody. That sounds about right. Goddamnit! In other thingys-enjoy the implosion that may occur tonight during the debate.
No matter what occurs-KEEP THOSE FINGERS FLYING!
Yes cris, always be careful on your reacharounds.
Johnny Flyswatter…or Doug Reacharound.
/waits impatiently for someone to get this reference
Jerk back too fast and hard and you’re going to be icing balls the rest of the evening.
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/65/655f9cb8f4d9b79a04eb9eb783c5c760ee3863476e9e9ed20b43ea090d2325cc.jpg
I was looking for the special JPP version of those Under Armour gloves at Scheel’s the other day. I was unsuccessful.
They got cleaned out on the the finger discount
If Pierre-Paul were Donald Trump, women might be a little less intimidated……and need less stitches.
One in the pink… two in the lower thigh.
Always a good plan.
6 for 6 now.
And so drunk now that I’m rooting for the Seahawks.
(psst…Seahawks aren’t playing in this game….that’s why it’s funny)
http://greenleaf-classics-books.com/vintage/files/fullsize/46a86be8ab5b2e06c988e43559220145.jpg
http://33.media.tumblr.com/81745eea2c1a662759b5704e4752360c/tumblr_nia6miI7v61tv4k5po1_500.gif
Seahawks…lambeau…the horror…memories. ugh.
Nonsense. Chinchilla is much more luxurious and manageable than that … thing.
During Pinktober, does Eddie Lacy give a demonstration on how to check for lumps on his own boobs?
Did…did collinsworth say Aaron Rodgers and Eli manning were close to the same?
He sure did.
PK probably told him how they both taste.
This couple really believes the t-shirt.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/42b08fdc41b89749e3d4700f8a1f43b2/tumblr_njxyui7Rku1u3lg0to1_500.jpg
We don’t know what a catch is, but I assume that’s a grab?
Two grabs in one play.
I’ve not missed Collinsworth at all.
His mom says the same thing every Thanksgiving and Christmas.
welp
— Cris Collinsworth’s mother
You need to work on your aim some more.
http://www.rantpolitical.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/trump-gatorade.png
For a five year old, Eli sure does look old.
http://f.tqn.com/y/politicalhumor/1/S/9/d/6/trump-last-president.jpg
And Cruz would have been our first amphibious creature president!
And first non-human and the first serial killer.
hes a shape-shitfing reptilyan alein,, get you’re fact’s strate smh
No joke. I have serious doubts about whether Cruz is human.
So I just checked out the pregame show on CNN, and after 5 minutes
COULD. NOT. TAKE. IT.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/ea9129187b4542d42bcfc0775f5f6e3e/tumblr_ocfz0g59lH1qf2my8o1_1280.jpg
So, while I’m actually in favor of keeping the drinking age where it is, cause the only thing worse than damn kids on my lawn is damn kids in my bar, how fucked up is it that we think you can be mature enough to vote for Trump, but not mature enough to handle a handle of Popov?
Popov is what Bill calls his Russian sidepiece.
“OK Eli, just walk straight and lip-synch the lyrics…DAMMIT!!!! Take 37!!”
I’m glad you saw that too. Eli’s lip-synch solo made me uncomfortable. Like when grandmom gets into the scotch.
First time back to the blog this season. So… there’s only one thing to say right now:
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e06fe5fb8065b49992d45fbe954838c2/tumblr_odruid4DxS1rhgvowo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e1755a321dcd9bb99a2c5907d41b67e8/tumblr_o7d5hsq6nc1ru67qro1_1280.jpg
My New York Rangers t-shirt has given the bar the illusion I am one of them. Meanwhile, I’ll be silently cheering for fatlacy downs all night
Forced WP logouts with math problems have really been pissing me off. But I’ve decided to make it a drinking game. Every time I get a math problem right (so far tonight I’m 5 for 5) I get to take a shot.
I expect my liver to shut down by midnight.
See, math IS useful in everyday life!
Only arithmetic.
And it’s what’s gonna kill me.
The old gypsy woman was right.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/748cfd37a25a8f8aaa8a27f8a063e372/tumblr_oeqkknzm0B1qkqre1o1_1280.jpg
I was told there would be no math here.
Ever…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hh3wHp_SS2E/UKr6YamK0hI/AAAAAAAACZI/_Yb5BFG_eAo/s1600/mathnet_title.jpg
Holy shite you just made me have a flashback.
Square One was awesome, and yet I was still terrible at math!
Thank god for the social sciences.
Learn your dominoes, motherfucker.
It’s a good game, because the more you drink, the harder that math gets. It’s the opposite of your penis.
You’re way too interested in my penis.
/not complaining
/said no one ever
http://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2016/05/07/635981808387919197475051218_ron%20swanson%20cover.jpg
“Keep those fingers flying” was Billy Bush’s response to Trump’s horrible boasts.
Dennis Eckersley is calling baseball, so I am listening to that.
Hamburger Helper beef stroganoff is probably my favorite shitty nostalgia food. Good stuff.
I got re-hooked on Old El Paso tacos when I lived in Australia.
I see your Helper and raise you one Chicken Rice-a-Roni. I lived on that shit during college.
How long was it before your blood pressure fell below 200?
How long *after* was it
Oddly I’m on meds for that. Shoulda figured.
Speaking of October Surprises, remember that the first one came about in 1980 when the Reagan campaign illegally and traitorously conspired with the Iranian government to prolong the detention of the American hostages in Tehran until Reagan was inaugurated.
I really hate to say this, but Donald Trump has convinced me: I’m not going to vote for Bill Clinton in this election.
Meanwhile, he’d still be President after 24 years if not for the stupid 22nd Amendment
Nah, it would have killed him after four terms.
When Tony Romo is healthy they should send him out to that farm my parents sent my dog too when I was in 3rd grade and let him play with the other old QBs.
But that’ll be never.
My sister NEEDED a rabbit when she was like ten, so my parents stupidly gave her one.
After about a month, it became clear that the bunny wasn’t long for the house.
My parents actually did take it to a local petting farm, with us in the car so we could say goodbye, and we went and visited once in a while until it died a couple years later.
Think of all the options available!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-60Ztj2e38BM/T164JC8YoLI/AAAAAAAAAx8/gAIv1Hnkifk/s1600/Bunny+Boiler.jpg
He’ll be so happy there!
Charlie Rose always looks like he just booted up some heroin and is ready to fall face first right into someone’s crotch while interviewing them.
I’d watch that.
What a coincidence. I did just boot up some heroin and am looking for a crotch to fall into.
Hey….PBS? I’m available…cheap.
Charlie Ro-z-z-z-z-e was my go to guy in the 80’s and early 90’s whenever I needed to come down quick from a coke high or acid trip.
The Simpsons are mocking the Patriots…
“Keep those fingers flying”
Donald Trump, talking to himself while approaching random women.
Pictured: Trump’s fingers flying
http://www.dronetrest.com/uploads/db5290/823/ab1a38f888a98798.jpg
“Keep those fingers flying”
-Melania Trump, to herself, while in bed with the orange blowhard
People shouldn’t be allowed to vote until they’re 30.
I voted for Ross Perot.
TWICE
http://creoleindc.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5e0053ef01a73d88394b970d-pi
Perot had his own, special style of nuttiness, but at the very least he was interesting.
Nor should they be allowed to vote once they’re 60
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih0eIXhhqzw
GO HillyBob and not-ODB!!!!
At this point, HRC merely needs to show up to the debate, cede 89 minutes of time to Trump, then give a 1-minute close that basically comes down to, “The opposite of what he said.”
So basically this:
http://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/6-My-Cousin-Vinny-quotes.gif
GODDAMN IT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnkU9GMArCU
I had a 2 team parlay today with Dallas and San Diego.
San Diego was getting…
3 1/2 points.
Come to daddy!
Dungerson or Teh Mooch:
That’s oddly hypnotic.
The .gif that keeps on .gifing!
Didn’t exactly stick the entry did he?
0.0 from the Micronesian judge.
Giants bar is playing some sort of techno remix of green days basket case. There may not be enough booze in this bar to keep me from doing terrible things.
I’m curious….what is the point of watching the debate tonight? I’m not undecided, and Trump is just so horrible there’s no reason to watch to keep up with his views and be informed. The only real motivation would be to see what cringe-inducing thing he says next, and honestly, that’s not fun for me, it just makes me feel bad to be human.
Exactly. I’d rather kill myself
Watching Hillary come out and suck Trumps fingers?
This is the first time I really don’t feel like voting. Can I check “none of the above”?
For a lifelong Democrat like myself, there’s a certain perverse joy in watching the GOP nominee crash hard, burn, get up out of the flaming wreckage saying, “I’m OK! I’m fine!” while on fire, then stumble off of a cliff to land in a lake full of hungry piranha.
That was funny. Well played.
Except that the Democrats are masters of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Oh, no argument. It’s not over yet, but the GOP running from their own candidate like he’s a leper is a heartwarming sight.
On the one hand this is an implosion of historic proportions and should, (but sadly probably won’t), lead the a restructuring of the GOP, and for that reason I want to watch it.
But on the other hand I really don’t want to have to buy another TV because I chucked a chair through my current one, and I’m not sure I can avoid that if I watch.
It won’t.
I swear Eli looks like a kid in Pop Warner borrowing his older brothers pads.
I’m pretty sure that girl in the NRA commercial is a Packers fan. She’s wearing a green shirt of the right color and looks like she enjoys cheese. The 8 inch knife she was attacked with was probably a cheese knife.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2012-03-25-GCfilmattack.png
Pittsburgh staff:
“Ohhh, we thought you said get the ‘throw-up’ uniforms…our bad!!!”
‘SENATORS DID IT!!’
THERE
ARE
THIRTY
ONE
OTHER
NFL
TEAMS
BESIDE
THE
FUCKING
P*TS
YOU
ASSHOLES
Wait, that doesn’t spell “Benghazi”
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/841/372/9d5.png
The Marines who weren’t allowed to have bullets in their rifles as they “guarded” the barracks?
Beirut, you say? The location of three American consecutive embassies that were bombed to fucking rubble during the Reagan Administration?
Fuck it. You get the point.
And it’s not like they didn’t try to harden the embassies. But they were always going to be vulnerable because they had to be, you know, tangible. And if you throw enough car bombs and other explosives at fixed structures, eventually they’re going to be destroyed.
Not in Bahston there isn’t.
You’re gonna count the factory and the rumored “Texans”?
You’re going to tell me that the things this kid has seen “don’t count?”
I don’t think so.
I don’t know what you’re referring to when you say “Texans.”
That kid has witnessed atrocities, nawt fitbawl.
Boo fucking hoo
Pretty young to have the thousand yard stare.
Eddie Guerrero demonstrating a day in the life of a Trump supporter.
‘Sup, you dirty, rotten bastards?
Hope all ya’s have had a good day in spite of being the dirty, rotten bastards you are.
😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gg4QZNOAco
Hola pequeño bebe!
http://stuffpoint.com/south-park/image/22041-south-park-bebe-stevens.png
Apparently, Eddie Guerrero’s birthday is a big thing on social media. So, let’s see some of my favorite wrestler cheating!
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/14816/eddie-guerrero-o.gif
Cowboys have a complete game and the Eagles lose. Now i get to cheer for Aaron Rodgers to butt fuck the Giants.
It makes me feel dirty too, but we have to do it.
My current viewpoint:
So WWE has moved its PPV main event to 8 pm to try and get some sort of attention before the debate.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Thats-A-Bold-Strategy-Meme.gif
My response to many many things over the next five hours.
http://static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Source+is+metalocalypse+not+reddit+c+mon+_7e7ff5ab89ca355f3f891477285fec03.jpg
Skwisgaar is ams dick.
– T. Wartooth
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/5f/5f472e2f6618da873f05039c5b919b5295dae8f9147d9665ee516b841df2cd1f.jpg
What a coincidence. I happened to run out of shits in the past couple of days.
Metamucil and Miralax should fix that right up.