Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It seems that in honour of tonight’s third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom:

  • Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior.
  • Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger.
  • Fined: Vontaze Burfict – $75000 + no games.
  • Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno.
  • Shoulda let Mom make the Chunky: Dez Bryant.

One shining light is that Tyler Eifert – the new poster boy for eliminating the Pro Bowl – has begun practicing with the Bengals.

At the League’s Fall meetings in Houston, the Rams, Raiders & Chargers all gave updates as to their stadium situations. Mark Davis gave updates on both Oakland & Las Vegas, most likely in the Lionel Hutz “truth” and “TRUTH” voices.

Finally, the NFL & NFLPA released a joint statement on the protocol procedures followed after Cam Newton got rocked in the Thursday NFL opener versus the Broncos. You can determine its tl;dr status here. The two main takeaways are that

S-M-R-T
S-M-R-T
  1. Nothing amiss occurred in the sideline evaluation; and
  2. Ed Hochuli was correct in forcing Tyrod Taylor off after his hit.

I’m shocked…SHOCKED that the League would investigate itself and find itself to have done the correct thing. This kind of arrogance & confidence is why no one liked Teflondre.

Despite his kangol tam.
Despite his kangol tam.

Hey! The Blue Jays are out of the playoffs.

 


As usual, not much will happen in the debate tonight. The only important question was asked & answered a month ago by Big Daddy Drew.

what-happens-if-trump-calls-hillary-a-bitch-during-the-debate

 

Fox News’ Chris Wallace is tonight’s moderator. His topics for the debate are: debt and entitlements, immigration, economy, Supreme Court, foreign hot spots, and fitness to be president. I anticipate he’ll be more fair than the average Fox journalist, possibly lulling Trump into a false sense of security. At this point, there’s not much drama, outside of the special guests,

And none of them as beloved.
And none of them as beloved.

 

and tarmac games of chicken.

 

On the Trump side, he’s flying in Malik Obama, Barack’s half-brother (same dad), and Benghazi-truther Patricia Smith, who lost a son in the attack and whose confirmation bias only blames Hillary:

“I know she murdered him … I do hope she will tell me something. I don’t think she will because I don’t think she’s got the guts to tell me what happened (in Benghazi).” (CNN)

Mrs. Clinton is countering with Mark Cuban and Meg Whitman, because who doesn’t have billionaire friends they can fly around on donor dimes?

The tastiest protest of the evening is the “wall of taco trucks” being built in front of trump’s Las Vegas hotel in advance of tonight’s debate at UNLV.

It’s not around the complex, but it does make for an impressive, delicious sight on the one side of the street.

 

Tonight’s sports: (by God, we will need them)

  • Women’s Volleyball:
    • Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Auburn at Mississippi – 9:00 PM | ESPNU
  • NBA Preseason Basketball: Knicks at Celtics – 7:30 PM | ESPN
  • MLB Playoff: Game 4: Cubs at Dodgers – 8:00 PM | FS1/Sportsnet1
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Red Wings at Rangers – 8:00 PM | OLN
    • Leafs at Jets – 8:00 | Sportsnet
  • Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Switzerland – 9:00 PM | ESPN2

Plus, don’t forget about the new South Park tonight

It’s been a good season so far. BEWARE TROLL TRACE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Trevor Semen

Can someone tell me how the hell I embed images? Because I know how to embed videos, but not pictures, and that really grinds my gears (there’s where I would embed a picture of Peter Griffin)

Sill Bimmons

Just copy and paste the URL of the image you want to post.

There’s a lot more to it than that, but it should get you started.

Trevor Semen

comment image

Trevor Semen

You guys see the gif moving, right? Because I don’t, as my computer is kinda shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some gifs don’t gifage.

ballsofsteelandfury

Just type the URL. Make sure it doesn’t end in JPEG or is from imgur.

Senor Weaselo

As a boy from Queens, I would like to say that I hope that that is the only thing Mr. Trump and I have in common. Okay, I’d take having billions of dollars too, but unfortunately we don’t have that one in common.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You might want to take cash before his debt is subtracted out.

Unsurprised

I’m pretty sure he’s not a billionaire either

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“How can the country elect someone that talks bad about Catholics in hacked emails? This is a country built on religious freedom”

“You realize Trump wants to ban all Muslims and hates everyone not Christian openly?”

“Yeah but we never should elect someone who isn’t Christian”

– Convo with my dad earlier

...

This election has exposed another uncomfortable fact: People never voted rationally or informed to begin with.

Doktor Zymm

Exposed? I’m pretty sure everyone already knew that.
“Richard Nixon’s Head: Oh, no? Well, listen here, missy. Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but the average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who’s changed is me. I’ve become more bitter and, let’s face it, crazy over the years. And when I’m swept into office, I’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat, and I’ll go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place!
[laughs]”

...

God that show is so good.

And no, I’d say most people would say they are educated voters who choose based on issues or principles even though a brief conversation would prove otherwise.

Unsurprised

Indeed. Most people think THEY are educated voters, but no one really is. And the more political people are, the more they’ve been proven to think and act emotionally and not rationally.

Doktor Zymm

…wow…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh and everyone was just jumping for joy when the papist JFK got elected….

Redshirt

My ballot tomorrow:

( ) D: Hillary Clinton
( ) R: Donald Trump
( ) L: Gary Johnson
( ) G: Jill Stein
( ) Write in: ____None of the Above____

Spur

Write in: Baba Booey

...

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just dissolve our government and have a revote like other countries that have a system that won’t ultimately collapse?

Redshirt

By law, every 20 years all Ohioans are asked if they want to call for a Constitutional Convention to change the state constitution.

Ohio has done some stupid things, but we got one thing right.

...

Jefferson liked this idea too. He actually understood the needs of the people might change from generation to generation and the ability to modify our government was necessary.

Oddly, people don’t seem to realize part of our problem is our structure of government has no resolution for this sort of partisanship and never consider changing the structure of government. I’m more likely to hear people talk about splitting into multiple countries along ideological lines, which is basically impossible.

Lothar of the Hill People

Yeah, except we can already modify the Ohio Constitution via referendum during any state election. Which is how we got a gambling monopoly codified in the fucking Constitution.

Constitutions shouldn’t be easy to change.
Shouldn’t be as impossible as it would be to change the US Constitution now, but it shouldn’t be so easy that 50.1% of the electorate in an off-year (so, maybe 20% of registered voters) can amend it.

Trevor Semen

If you combined all of their best ideas into one candidate that candidate would still be a pretty bad candidate.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hello… Buddy fucking Cole for write-in?

Senor Weaselo

DTZM 2016, let’s rock the vote!
/Is rocking the vote still a thing?

Unsurprised

No Evan McMullin?

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least yeah right and ICRM are having a good night….
….so far.

Muahahahahaha

Spur

Fuck this, i guess I’ll watch baseball.

Spur

Fuck this, i guess I’ll watch baseball.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to go sleep in my incredibly comfortable bed for a few hours. There’s a new garbage truck that comes by at 5 am that has the loudest beep of any truck I’ve previously encountered. Lucky for me I wake up at 5:05 am, so I’m really only losing 5 minutes of sleep because of it. Still can’t wait for the weekend. I’m gonna sleep till like….8 or even 9! Then I’m gonna play Civ 6 for hours and hours and hours. I’m considering calling out sick on Friday so I can start playing when the game goes live Thursday night/Friday morning.

...

comment image

King Hippo

If you are African American, did you know that you have “no education?”

Shit, I think black turnout might be better for HillyBob than Obama.

blaxabbath

I’m no Obamacare fan but, considering how few people buy their coverage through the exchanges, how can it be killing America?

...

Ahem. OBAMAcare.

OBBAAAAAMMMAAAAAcare.

Hear it now?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hillary got this shirt from the “Kim Jong Il Collection”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Speaking of which; you’d think Trump could hire a descent tailor. I guess all of his fashion budget goes to hair maintenance and spray oranges.

Doktor Zymm

You have to have a modicum of good taste to want and find a good tailor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True dat.

Trevor Semen

Do any of you guys sometimes reread all of the shit about the collapse of the old site? It makes you realize how many people aren’t even on DFO that used to be. (I was here for that shit, I was just a passive observer rather than an active participant. Ape’s goodbye legit had me in tears.)

Spur

Bring back Ottoman!

blaxabbath

I don’t live in the past man.

There’s no Super Bowls for me there.

Trevor Semen

It was more of someone linking to the old Ocho and Marvin posts today, which just threw me down a rabbit hole.

Redshirt

I found out after the fact. It was like going out to Hiroshima the day after the nuke was dropped.

Sill Bimmons

FUCK U****X

Trevor Semen

**** ******, **** THE ********, **** THE ********, and **** ROGER GOODELL

King Hippo

Chris Wallace did a really good job.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just wish he’d told them both to STFU like a dozen times. That woulda been great.

Redshirt

“Now the decision is up to you.”

Pass.

...

You know, if you want to be in agony and devoid of hope, you all could just cut yourselves instead of watching that debate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

Trevor Semen

There’s at least 30 things in that picture that, by themselves, are probably illegal to depict in multiple countries.

Spur

Is that what happens to the Brown’s QB’s?

Trevor Semen

Which part of the picture? Just everything? Or only some things?

King Hippo

Why didn’t HE gets to debate? He seems like he might have some solid ideas…

Doktor Zymm

Says the Cubs fan….

...

😀

We each have our ways of ensuring we get the suffering we know we deserve.

Sill Bimmons

Gonna pull a giant binger then chug the bongwater.

It’s all I’ve got left, and I’m not even watching this fucking thing.

blaxabbath

Go buy more bud.

blaxabbath

So if Hillary is going to take money from them, why is Wall Street giving her all this money?

Redshirt

Unprompted closing argument? This may be Donald’s list hope for Hillary to screw up.

Senor Weaselo

Did she say the words “lizard person” or “Great Pumpkin”? No? Then never mind.

Spur

God, I hate both these Fuckers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmm….did he just call her a “Nasty woman?”
Did I hear that correctly?

Sill Bimmons

Anyone with the intelligence of a five-year-old understands the idiocy of the absolute binary.

Yet here we are.

comment image

Redshirt
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I guess she’ll carry 21 states.

Unsurprised

TBF, there are Downs Syndrome adults running businesses, but there are “educated” Democrats I know who I wouldn’t trust to run a washing machine.

Spur

She said “ask” the wealthy to pay their share, not “make”.

Doktor Zymm

We’ve already established that Trump doesn’t understand how consent works

blaxabbath

Yeah. She’s not gonna lie to you.

Redshirt

Am I too late? Did Trump whip it out to show that his junk is bigger than Hillary’s?

blaxabbath

She won on the balls.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well, when Hillary pulled hers out Trump was looking rather meek…..

Doktor Zymm

Trump’s team issued a statement that there was a climate control issue with the air conditioning in the immediate vicinity of Trump’s pants

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

blaxabbath

Uhhh, Hillary? Yeah, we all hate politicians.

That’s a point for Donald.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s really not.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bill Clinton likes his women the way I like my coffee: Fresh, strong, and hidden under my work desk.

JustStopDude

I like my black and bitter…

LemonJello

http://i.gifntext.com/52415-skeletor-approves.gif

And with that, I’m outta here! G’night all.

JustStopDude

comment image

Spur

Hillary dodges the fact that a no fly zone will cause war with Russia

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The fact?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The likelihood.

Doktor Zymm

Due to stubby arms and hands, the T-Rex has trouble wiping his T-Rump
http://70.32.88.150/sites/default/files/imagecache/product_full/products/Magnet_TRex_Bathroom.jpg

Sill Bimmons

A Hillary Clinton presidency is not a victory for democracy but instead nothing more than a victory against ignorance.

This is the means of control.

Spur

A win for the continued plutocracy!

I wish the retired military would form a party or like i have should in the past a brain drain from both parties to make a third party.

Gratliff

We haven’t had a candidate who gave a fuck about democracy since like week 3 of the primaries. Unfortunately, the second most likely outcome was a victory FOR ignorance and just holy fuck no.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Clinton Foundation scandal isn’t too shocking, considering Bill has been pay for play since Chelsea’s birth.

LemonJello
Beastmode Ate My Baby

And on to Syria…another hot bucket of suck we should have no part in.

I swear, it’s like Viet Nam was 50 years ago or something.

...

My favorite story after the last debate was when Merriam-Webster said their top search was “lepo” because people wanted to know what “a lepo” was.

Spur

Aleppo is so sad.

blaxabbath

You all claim to hate Trump so much but you’ll be begging for him to show up to the boring ass debates we’re gonna get in 2020.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He is entertaining.
On mah tits.

Doktor Zymm

Ass debates?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m all for ass. Who’s with me?????

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m right behind you!

Shogun Marcus

CONGA!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

More like Shish-Ka-Bob! HEY-OOOOO!

King Hippo

NO. Absolutely in all seriousness, this has stirred up something truly vile in this country, even if it is going to be defeated soundly. This has cost me a lot of sleep, just over the 1% chance this animal could become President.

yeah right

And the crowd is going crazy for…
Andre Ethier?

Desperate times for the home fans.

...

Yeah, well Teeth is getting shittier so they might have something to cheer about.

Gratliff

Whatever you think of these two as people, please take a moment to acknowledge that a property mogul is attempting to claim superior military knowledge over a former Secretary of State, and how fucking idiotic that is.

Senor Weaselo

I’d like someone to ask Trump who the leader of Iran is. What are the odds he says the Iron Sheik?

herodotus450

Ask him who the leader of the US is while youre at it, he’d probably say it’s already himself.

Spur

Hillary is a jabroni

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

(I still thought it was Ahmadinejad.)

Senor Weaselo

Eh, worth posting his Twitter, it’s always fun.
https://twitter.com/the_ironsheik

Spur

We will send wooden horses into Mosul, filled with navy seals – Trump

JustStopDude

I would love it if Hillary asked Trump if he knew what the dominate form of Islam that is practiced in Iran.

Sill Bimmons

shia smh

Spur

Arab

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Ayatollah you a million times, Hil, I don’t know that shit!”

Sill Bimmons

PLEASE ALL TEH VIOLENT COUPS TEH MILITARY IS STILL IN TEH CHARGE OF TEH CURRENT CINC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Can I sauté mushrooms/onions in cast iron?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wouldn’t. But if that’s all ya got, use lotsa butter on lower heat.

blaxabbath

I got other. Just trying to be fancy.

blaxabbath

I think if you’re too dangerous to fly, you’re too dangerous to be in the country.